'Hey guys'.
'Hey Kracken'.
Well, it's here. EXAM week. Blech...
It's the equivalent of a chastity belt wedgie- when the wedgie giver (in this case, the teachers) take what is supposed to keep us pure and protect us (our schooling) and use it to cause us discomfort and suffering.
Alright, I'll have one virgin maiden on white, with a side of mutton and a large milkshake...
On second thought, just give me a cow.
It's like in the olden days, when they used to leave the beautiful virgin maidens chained to large rocks, and a monster would come along and eat the maiden and save the town. Exam week has to be like the week before that moment. I mean, you know that this sacrifice is going to pay off by appeasing the 'monster' (society), but you know it's going to be painful and that you might end up being eaten. This is how her week probably goes, and if you are able to read between the lines, you might be able to pick up some of the comparisons that I alluded to.
Day 1 (Monday)- The virgin knows what's coming, and realizes that it's her last week to be alive. But its Monday, man! The virgin just sits around her apartment playing Xbox 360, thinking to herself, 'well, I still have 4 days'.
Day 2 (Tuesday)- Tuesday is the worst day of the week. Mondays have hope potential, even though they always suck. Wednesdays are the middle, and the end is in sight. Thursday, the end is, well, tomorrow! And Friday is pay day. But Tuesday? Nothing. The virgin doesn't even bother to get out of bed she's so depressed. Not because she knows she will be monster food in 3 days, but because it is Tuesday.
Day 3 (Wednesday)- Ahh, Wednesday...hump day. But this is a virgin we're talking about, and if she isn't a virgin when the monster eats her, the monster will be mad and then eat the whole town. So instead, our virgin sits in her apartment watching reruns of Taxi and doing crossword puzzles.
Day 4 (Thursday)- OH CRAP! The end is tomorrow...so the virgin starts to read the 4 chapter-200 pages of Social Welfare Policy that should have been read throught the last third of the semester, but weren't because the virgin wanted to focus on other exploits, and was really hoping that someone would have killed the monster by now. Of course, this reading is boring, so she goes to the coffee shop to spend some time with her friends and family, followed by hours of mindless internet surfing.
Day 5 (Friday)- Well, it's here. The virgin tries to console herself. 'How hard can it be? I mean, the monster just picks me up, eats me, the town is saved'. The town people don't tell you that this is a monster with manners...a mannster, if you will, and that you will be served over 6 courses. They are content to watch you parade down the long road to the middle of nowhere, because you are providing them with a future.
Now, you might be thinking that this is a little bit of a stretch. I mean, comparing exam week to virgin sacrifice? How are those two things even remotely close? And you're right...I think I would much rather be a virgin sacrifice. I mean, THIS IS EXAM WEEK FOR CRYING OUT LOUD (if this blog post had a commentary along with it, I would point out that I didn't turn on the caps lock until I started to type the word 'crying', and then me and the other people doing the commentary with me would start laughing and then we would get on a random tangent...and about 30 minutes later we would remember that we were supposed to be providing commentary. But it would be too late, because the monster would have already eaten us).
Exam week is a black cloud in a blacker sky. Exam week is impervious to pain. It is cruel and ruthless. It hears our cries, our laments, and it laughs at us to our face. Exam week breaks bones, and then uses those bones as toothpicks. It shows no mercy. Exam week is the Chuck Norris of abstract concepts. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Exam week kills you, no matter how strong you are.
I think this will be my last post before exams are done...the next couple weeks are going to be busy, busy, busy. In addition to doing the aforementioned reading/studying (for my ONE exam on FRIDAY...don't even get me started on that one), I'm going to be practicing with my awesome band Baby Cannon, getting ready to lay down some stuff in a studio (the day before my exam), and practicing/playing on Saturday with my awesome worship team. I'll also have to work a couple days in there as well.
During break, I'll definitely be catching up. I want to share some thoughts on God as our daddy. I'll let you guys know how recording went. I'll rank the superhero movies according to casting jobs. I'll share some frustrations I've been having with the world. I'll try to get a post done ranking my favorite Ben and Jerry's flavors. There may be more, there may be less. Thank you for reading so far...I've really enjoyed blogging so far, and I've gotten a lot of positive feedback...and the people that gave me negative feedback have been 'taken care of'. By taken care of, I mean 'disposed of'. And by 'disposed of', I mean that I asked them what I could do better next time, and thanked them for their input.
God bless, see ya in a couple weeks!
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