Simon says...how can you eat your pudding if you don't eat your meat?

So here is some really cool random trivia about me...well, it's not random, but it is certainly trivia, and when I come out with a Jason Parks Trivial Pursuit game, this will probably be on one of the cards. Some people might think that my whole existence is a trivial pursuit. I will hunt those people down and taunt them to their faces. Some of them I will be forced to taunt even a second time.

'I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries'

I love learning about human behavior. Ever since I took a sociology class in '07, I've been just absolutely fascinated at how our civilization is built, how society runs, how we learn to be 'human'. I love all the different schools of thought. I love how there is a delicate balance between nature and nurture- how our environments interact with our biology to produce who we are. We are all unique individuals, yet in so many ways we are the same as other people. I'm amazed when I find out 'random' things about other people that I have in common, and I'm amazed that people share some of my idiosyncrasies.

So where am I going with this? Well, it's simple- Sara started to teach Delaney the game 'Simon Says' this past week.


It's a fun game, easy to learn, and it's really cute to watch Delaney say 'Simon says'...and then go through her list of animal noises and face parts. It is adorable.

But it got me thinking...

...Simon Says is not just a kids game- it is a form of social control. Think about it. The kids are all looking to the leader, 'Simon' for behavioral direction. Now 'Simon' does not necessarily have any special qualifications as a leader, but because we are told that he/she is our authority, then we submit to 'Simon' and respond accordingly. We automatically surrender part of our individuality in order to conform to what 'Simon' deems best. Nobody questions who 'Simon' is, or what he/she stands for. We just know that we have to do what Simon says or else we will be out of the game.

It doesn't matter how ridiculous the things are that Simon says. 'Simon says...bang your head on a wall'. 'Simon says slap yourself in the face'. 'Simon says throw yourself into oncoming traffic'. If you do what Simon says, then you are rewarded, and you get to stay in the game. If you stay in it till the end, then you have a chance to be Simon. Otherwise...you have to leave. You're done. Your game existence has been exterminated

So then deviant behavior is punished- conformity is praised. Do what Simon says and you can win...but if you try to do your own thing then you screwed up and you will be ostracized. Kids are learning not to be individual, but to do what everyone else is doing in order to make it to the top- or at least stay on the in.

This might seem silly to some of you, like I'm being overanalytical or something like that. Some of you are probably just so happy to finally have another blog post from me that you don't really care what I'm actually writing about- you're just euphoric. But think about it- we learn all about how to be 'human' at the earliest, most impressionable ages. We learn from what we see and experience in our homes, our schools, and our communities. Not that this is an all-bad thing, and really in some ways, conformity is not bad. We all want our kids to be respectful, law-abiding citizens, and in that sense games like 'Simon Says' can be beneficial. Most of the time there is no need to rock the boat.

Two things though- First of all, we need to teach our children to think critically. That might mean they challenge us and our longly held beliefs, but it will also ensure that our children grow up as their own people, and that their identities and senses of self will be anchored in a knowledge that they have wrestled with the questions of life and come up with their own answers. I know that I want my kids to share my beliefs and values, but I want them to own them. At the end of the day, I want them to really know what they believe, why they believe it, and why what they believe is what makes the most sense.

The second thing is that we need to watch the kind of messages that we are sending our kids, because those sorts of things get ingrained very deeply, and it can be very difficult to dig out of notions of self that become our very definition of self. Our words are very powerful. They should be chosen carefully, and when we screw up (which WILL happen), we show our children our remorse and apologize. In our social work class, we've talked about how everything can be undone but death. Some things, however, are easier undone than others. It is better to lay a foundation of love and encouragement and build upon that than it is to try and uproot pain and lies.

Thanks for reading, I encourage thoughts/feedback. Hopefully we'll meet again soon!

Pics-
Monty Python- http://images.chron.com/blogs/beltwayconfidential/snipshot_monty.jpg
Simon- http://api.ning.com/files/pshYRm07QjZA*lANuZAtbJOHAdQuEb0W*HncOsnGaQM_/simon.jpg