Well this blog post is not about that.
Basically I wanted to let you know that a rant was coming, and since I don't have any access to sirens or flashing lights (except the ones that I use when I play Dance Dance Revolution), that was the only way I could have done it. Or, I guess I could have done this:
Sirens. Flashing lights.
But really, all that brouhaha was just to let you know that A RANT IS COMING!! It's a tragic tale of a young Snow Day- a Snow Day that DIDN'T COME.
So this rant has been brewing a little bit. You might not have noticed this, but I'm not often up to speed on current events. It's one of the reasons why I don't always blog about the new hotness (other reasons being that I'm lazy and that I don't want to be white noise). It's the reason the Playstation 2 caught me off guard. It's why I'm pissed off that there's never any payphones around when you need them. It's why I'm still living in the stone age of having a slippy slidey blankey.
So Monday, in class, our teacher mentions that there is a "big snow storm" coming "Tuesday night into Wednesday morning". She says this right before she hands out our exam. She might as well have just said "sex", because my focus was no longer on that exam. It violently shifted to the weather phenomenon I reverently refer to as: Snow Day.
So I get just a little bit excited, because a) we haven't had a snow day in a long time b) Spring break is next week and c) I only have classes on Mondays and Wednesdays! This is (pardon the pun) the perfect storm! A long awaited snow day, which would give me (in effect) a 2 week Spring break! How awesome is that?
So naturally I begin to (periodically) fervently pray for the snow to fall like rain. Hmmmm...actually, you know now that I think about it, if the snow actually would have fallen like rain, I'd be sitting at home right now CELEBRATING A SNOW DAY!!!
The snow has fallen like dandruff. And we've never ever had a dandruff day.
So now I'm sitting here, watching this weak "snow" continue to fall, knowing that in a few hours, I'll have to go to school. It's sort of a cruel teaser, a reminder of what might have been. It's like having Brett Favre take you to the championship game. You're one step away from the Super Bowl- but you're not really one step away from the Super Bowl- you're actually one step away from having your heart ripped out of your chest.
Of course, if I was thinking rationally and logically (which I'm not), I could look at the fact that, other than a 1:40 class, I effectively do have a two week spring br...wait, snap out of it!!! What am I saying??? THIS IS A FREAKING RANT!!! THIS IS NO TIME TO MAKE SENSE!!!
Now I only have a one and a half week Spring break. You know who I blame? I don't blame God. I don't blame Mother Nature. I don't even blame Karl Bohnak.
No, I blame my wife. My beautiful, amazing, JINX LADEN, DOUBTING, DESTROYER OF DREAMS, DEVOURER OF HOPE, wife.
See, Matt and I were sitting around last night, singing the praises of Snow Day, and telling stories about the glory of Snow Day, and making sacrificial offerings at the altar of Snow Day...and Sara has to come along and be like "blah blah blah I've lived in the U.P. my whole blah blah blah and it's not snowing hard enough/blah blah/not windy enough"...and we were like, no one likes a buzz kill, and resumed our Snow Day fantasy dream world. Like what does she know, right?
And now, here I lie with my body broken on the tattered remains of my hopes and dreams. There will be no Snow Day. Only School Day. All I can hope for now is that the dandru...er, snow, will continue to fall and maybe (just maybe) my teacher will get stuck in her driveway and we'll end up not having class afterall. Maybe the Abominable Snow Monster from the North will invade NMU's campus, and his dandruff will fall all over us and we'll think it's snow and....well, there is still hope, my friends!
And that's the whole point to this seemingly meaningless tirade-there is always hope. That is, unless your wife is a a) realist b) yooper c) big meany-head.
Pic: Mario- http://www.videogamesblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/super-mario-galaxy-wii-screenshot.jpg
Snuggie- http://cdn3.ioffer.com/img/item/135/657/165/qB9E7mFgyci4GWn.jpg
Brett Favre- http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2008/08/01-07/brett.favre.jpg
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