5) Mystery Men- I have absolutely no knowledge of the comic backstory of Mystery Men, and as far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter- this is one of the most perfectly casted superhero movies of all time- kicking off the top five!
High points- Big names- Ben Stiller, William H. Macy, Geoffrey Rush, Greg Kinnear, all slotted into perfect roles. Small names- PeeWee Herman, Wes Studi, Kel Mitchell- again, in the perfect roles. The chemistry in this movie is top notch, the writing is tremendous, and the delivery is second to none. Amazing movie!
Low points- None that I can think of- but I can't put a movie that is borderline-not-even-a-superhero-movie higher than #5 on my list of superhero movie casting jobs.
4) Fantastic Four- In terms of a movie, this obviously was pretty disappointing. But in terms of casting, I think that overall it was very well casted. Fantastic? Well, not quite. But 'Very Well Four' is both grammatically incorrect and non-alliterative, so we'll stick with Fantastic.
High points- Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd, and Michael Chiklis could have very well been ripped out of the pages of a Fantastic Four comic book. Chiklis saved the franchise a ton of money by foregoing CGI effects for the Thing. This was accomplished because A) they didn't have to spend all that money on the CGI, and B) they didn't have to use all that much make-up to transform Chiklis into the Thing. Just kidding Mikey, I would hate to be pounded on by those rock fists of yours! Also, Julian McMahon was a great Doctor Doom, and using Lawrence Fishburnes voice as the Silver Surfer took that character to a new level.
Low points- Jessica Alba is hot. Susan Storm is not...at least, she couldn't be if she hooked up with Reed Richards. Character deficits aside, in a realistic reality, there is NO way that an Albaesque Susan Storm chooses Mr. Fantastic over Doctor Doom- especially if Doom looks at all like McMahon does. Plus, in the comics, Doom rules his own country! Hots, smarts, AND political power- this guy has the triple crown! So they either should have got an uglier Susan Storm or an uglier Doctor Doom. I can think of the perfect person for each role-
Hello Ms. Storm, I'm the Lord of Latveria!
Why Ms. Storm, you're blushing? Is it because I am wearing aviators and a Weird Al wig?
3) Iron Man- Michael Jordan and the Bulls. Barry Sanders and the Lions. Atlas and the world. Occasionally there comes along individuals who, merely by their presence and abilities, are able to take groups of others to heights higher than would have been acheivable without those individuals. Well add Robert Downey Jr. to that list- a man who took a 'team' or a 'planet' (in this case, the movie) and took it to a COMPLETELY new level. Downey Jr. as Tony Stark has been a role that has been refined in a lifetime of drinking, carousing, and being arrogant. Downey Jr's life has been culminating for this one role, this one chance to put mortals on his back and ascend them to greatness. And he does not disappoint, taking Iron Man all the way to #3 on my Prestigious List.
High points- Obviously Downey Jr. as the star. Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard, and Jeff Bridges are all like amalgams of John Paxson/Brett Periman/Toni Kukoc/Herman Moore- talents who can't really carry a team on a consistent basis, but are good enough to carry things for short periods of time and hit series-clinching three pointers/catch passes from whoever the Lions quarterback is on that given Sunday.
Low points- Expect Iron Man to fall down the list when Iron Man II comes out, as Don Cheadle replaces Terrence Howard as Rhody. Now, Cheadle is a much better actor than Howard IMO...but again, the classic case of switching a significant character between movies and expecting the audience to go along with it. Eventually, it taints the legacy. It's like Jordan playing for the Wizards, or the Lions eventually swallowing Sanders career- individual greatness will eventually break down and decompose into vintage highlight reel footage and historical footnotes, or else retire on the evening of training camp because it realizes that it is playing for the Lions, which is a black hole to any sort of championship aspirations.
2) X-Men- Keeping with sports analogies...sometimes you have all the components together- great schedule, talent, superior coaching, luck of the bounce/biased officiating. You have everything going for you...and you still lose. Sometimes it's because the other team makes a great play. Last year's Super Bowl was a great example of this. But most of the time it's because someone on your team makes a bonehead move, screwing it up for everybody else, and leaving behind a trail of bitterness and something else. This is the X-Men cast.
High points- As Robert Downey Jr. allowed his life to go down in flames in order to purify himself for the role of Tony Stark, Patrick Stewart was blessed in the womb as the physical incarnation of Professor Xavier. And if I didn't know any better, I'd swear that Hugh Jackman was born with retractable adamantium claws, that Ian McKellen really did have control over electro-magnetic fields, and that Halle Berry can make her eyes go solid white. Ray Park made a character named 'Toad' cool, and Rebecca Romijn ensured that every teenage boy in the country owns at least one of the X-men movies. Some other highlights include James Marsden as Cyclops and Kelly Hu as Lady Deathstrike (my fav scene from that movie is when SPOILER Wolverine pumps her full of liquid adamantium, and kills her, and as she realizes that she's dying, she looks at Wolverine with this look of sadness...like she's just realizing that she was trying to kill her soulmate...because if you are familiar at all with the movie or the story, you realize how perfect those two are for each other- sort of a mutant Brangelina).
Low points- A lot, actually. Some of it is minor stuff, but one thing that I've learned about comic books is that there are no minor details. Famke Janssen is a very beautiful lady that just never really sat right as Jean Grey. Anna Paquin was a good Rogue...except that Rogue was a Southern Belle. And don't get me started on Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut. Really? That's it? Not only do you get the Juggernaut story all wrong, but you pick the absolute smallest strong guy you could find? Daniel Cudmore may have looked like Colossus, but he didn't score any points in the Russian accent category. These may seem like little things, but in comic book lore, they are not. These are the accents that make characters unique, that give them substance, that help us to attach to them and embrace them. Unfortunately, X-men undid some of the most perfectly assigned casting jobs in history by marring some minor details. That, and they tried the mid-franchise character switch a couple times (granted, it was just minor characters, but still- who do they think we are?).
And that brings us to the number one Best Superhero Movie Casting Job. Drum roll please....
1) Spider-man- Spider-man put out two great movies, and a third movie that was very disappointing. But just looking strictly at casting, Spider-man takes the cake. They have the most successes in terms of Comic Replication, and the least amount of failures.
High points- Several of the characters in Spider-man looked like they were just ripped out of comic book pages, brought to life, and put onto the silver screen. Tobey Maguire IS Peter Parker. Kirsten Dunst IS Mary Jane Watson. Topher Grace IS Eddie Brock (even though they butchered the whole Venom thing, they nailed his human host). Rosemary Harris IS Aunt May. Thomas Haden Church IS Sandman. They just nailed so many roles, it's ridiculous. They also did good in casting Goblin 1 and Goblin 2 (William Dafoe and James Franco, respectively). But the Robert Horry, the guy that put Spidey over Iron Man and X-men is J.K. Simmons. As J.Jonah Jameson, Simmons took a significant lesser role, and made it a show stealer without upsetting the overall balance of the movie. Not an easy thing to do, but he did it and he did it seemlessly. This guy was ripped out of the BRAINS of the Spider-man creators, put onto the comic page, brought to life, and then put on the silver screen. I'm fully convinced that if Marvel did a movie combing Downey Jrs Tony Stark, Patrick Stewarts Professor X, and Simmons J.J.J., that it would melt the faces of those in attendance due to sheer awesomeness.
Low points- A couple, although they are mostly minor. First of all, while I did grow to love Alfred Molina as Doctor Octopus, it just didn't fit with the comics Doc Oc. Second, Spider-man wasn't dumb enough to try and change characters mid trilogy- but they DID recycle a character...Bruce Campbell! Bruce is the man for those of you who don't know, but it is still an assault on the intelligence of movie-goers everywhere. Maybe in the next Spider-man movie they'll feature Bruce fighting against living skeletons, or else micro-people.
Judging from carbon dating, I'd say that this skeleton is ready for battle!
Well, that completes my ranking of Superhero movie casting jobs! Thanks for tuning in! School starts on Monday, so I'm probably going to be able to blog less periodically...but be sure to keep tuning in because you never know what I'm capable of saying when the mood strikes me! God bless!
Skeleton- http://members.aye.net/~gharris/blog/army15.jpg
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