Now what?

Okay, so I have to admit and come clean...I've been wrestling with very weighty issues this semester. I've been struggling with the concept of God. I've flirted with intellectualism. So many things bother me about life, about faith, about humanity- and everywhere I turn, I find no answers, only more questions.

A Christian philosopher who struggles with his faith said something to the effect of 'it is better to be Socrates with doubts than to be a pig in bliss'. I'm not so sure about that. The more I learn, the more I live, the more I contemplate on everything, I find myself wanting to know less and less. There is such joy in simplicity! But I'm finding that knowledge cannot be undone. And so I'm left delving deeper and deeper into a postmodern world is set up to fail- at least in terms of hope, that is. Let me talk about that.

See, there are many, many different ways to approach humanity, and the way we think about life. Most of us might be fluent in one, or even two at the most. I'm not really fluent in any, but as a social worker, I have an understanding of many different avenues- we call it an eclectic knowledge base. Using systems theory, we look at our clients and how the various systems of their lives work together. It's pretty amazing!

So if humanity was a 'client', then let's just think about some of our systems. Think about the forces that shape us into who we are- biological, psychological, sociological, religious, environmental, cultural, gender- these are just starting grounds. Think about the cosmos. Think about the way in which we define our world, and the forces that work to shape our perceptions of it. I mean, even something we take so for granted like color is just our brain interpreting the reflection of light off of the materials of this Earth.

I apologize if I am failing to paint an overwhelming picture. My goal here is to portray humanity as a concept that is truly unable to be completely understood by our feeble minds. I mean, we think we know. But we really don't know. There is no way where we can look at all of the above fields, and all the things that I left out, and tie them together and make sense of them in a way that enables us to completely know and understand everything about humanity. We just can't do it.

So it kind of irks me when I see atheists take the claim of 'freethinking'- like somehow rejecting Christianity is the only outcome of being a 'free-thinker'.

Understand my purpose here please- I'm not trying to suggest that they aren't free-thinkers- but what I'm coming to realize and understand is that we can never be in a position where we can understand another person completely. The best we can hope for is some level of empathy, and maybe some similar experiences, but to put ourselves completely in the shoes of another person? Nope, can't do it. Thanks for playing.

So where am I going with this? Well, I do have a point. And if you've hung with me for this long, then I commend you and shall reward you by getting to the point.

I was reading an article today, an atheistic article. It said that there cannot be an all-loving, all-knowing God in a world where such atrocities happen. It talked about the tsunami, and the thousands of people died. It mentioned a hypothetical scenario where an 8 year old girl is brutally raped and murdered. It talked about cancer. These are but a shadow of the horrible things that have happened in the existence of humanity.

So let's play that game. Let's go there. Let's say that this all-knowing and all-loving God does not exist because the above things do exist.


Now what?

What do you have? You take God out of the picture....and you know what? You are still going to have tsunamis. You are still going to have 8 year old girls who are brutally murdered and raped. There will still be cancer. So now what? What do you point the finger at now? Who is to blame? Humanity is messed up. And we live in a messed up world, where natural disasters and diseases plague us. We live in messed up bodies that break down and die.

And you want to remove hope from this situation?

Let's think of this- you want to trust that humanity is intrinsically good to the point where no religion is needed, and we will all work together and hold hands and sing songs? I don't see how we can be taught that humanity is the big winner in the 'survival of the fittest animal' contest and then think that everything is going to be hunky dory. Whether you believe that man is merely an evolved animal or a being with a fallen nature, I am not convinced that John Lennon really knew what he was imagining.

Now understand I do realize that there are terrible things that have been done in the name of God, and of 'religion'. And I'm still trying to sort out all of the systems in my head. But how dare we try to point the finger at those who recognize the hopeless situation they are born into and are trying to make sense of it. I mean, if you think that the elimination of God is going to usher us into utopia, then by all means you can think that. Do not presume that applies to everybody though. Don't pretend that you can look at me, and all of the events in my life that have conspired to make me the person that I am today, and tell me that you know all about me.

I still have questions, I still have doubts. Sometimes I don't know whether I am coming or going. I just want to be real with people. I want to care for people. I want to allow this compassion in my heart to come out, without agenda, without preconception. Life is precious. Let's not waste it being judgemental of other people.