This time I will detail some of the exploits of Jack Bauer in episode 3 of season 1. It's been a while, because Netflix was crazy fast in delivering discs of Dexter, season 3 to us- and then we also found 30 Rock, which is an amazing comedy, in the same league as The Office (which, if you know how I feel about The Office, is high praise). But we did watch the third episode, and Jack is beginning to build on his B.A. actions of the first two episodes.
It's possible that at this point, you think that I am engaging in an exercise that is, at best, fruitless. 'Is he really going to go through every episode and talk about this crap?'- and that's a fair point. Part of this blog is born from the fact that I suddenly have much more time on my hands than I did before, and while I have altruistic ambitions about how I'm going to use that time, the reality is that I am the guy that Kurt Cobain was singing about when he uttered those immortal grunts- "Here we are now, entertain us". I love to do stuff that is ultimately pointless in the grand scheme of things.
But I suppose we could give this blog idea of mine a little credibility by tying in some sort of greater meaning (and really, we all assign meaning to the actions of our lives)- and how we so often take things at face value, or we trust the things the people say just because of who they are, without checking them out for ourselves. We've been told all our lives that Jack Bauer is the baddest mo' fo' to walk the face of the earth- that Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas and that Chuck Norris checks his closet at night for Jack Bauer- without really taking his legend to task. That's what I'm all about. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm suggesting myself to a day in the life of Jack Bauer, one hour at a time- because we're tired of being lied to by those who are in a position to do so. Oh, hey kids, I can't play with you right now, sorry. Why not? Why, I'm working on homework, that's why.
Before I get started, I do think it needs to be mentioned that in this episode, a random dude smashes the back window out of Senator Palmer's SUV with a baseball bat. I'll bet Senator Palmer was really glad he is in good hands with All-state.
Like I said, this is all about the process. Jack isn't completely B.A. at this point- but he's not PeeWee Herman either. He has a reputation to live up to, and he is slowly starting to grow into it. It's as if we are witnessing the Bar Mitzvah of Jack, except instead of growing into a man, Jack is growing into a bad-ass. Let's get started.
Early on, Jack takes that thumb that he had chopped off for the purposes of identifying one of the bad guys, and applies the thumb print to the digital scanner that his vehicle has. He's still slightly squeamish- a disgusted look on his face, maybe a little perspiration- but the fact that he doesn't have someone else do it speaks to his level of commitment. Never mind that level of commitment doesn't apply to other areas of his life- like his family. He's a singularly minded in his approach to business, and that will serve him well on his vision quest.
Later in the show, he's talking on the phone to the dad of his daughter's friend, who is hanging out with his wife at a furniture store at 2 in the morning. The dad wants to leave- it's late, he's tired, and he totally realizes that if he stays there too much longer, he's going to end up buying that 5-piece granite tabletop set with a solid hardwood base. Either that, or he realizes that he and his daughter are small-time in this big operation, and he wants to get while the getting's good (of course, what he doesn't realize is that he's on a collision course with a relationship with the soon-to-be ex of Jack Bauer).
So he's hemming and hawing, and Jack basically shuts him down. He yells at him and tells him to stick around and wait for the girls. The guy, being a weakling, obeys, and Jack hangs up the phone. If Jack were leveling up on this B.A. ladder, this would have gained him a couple XPs- not much, but hey, it's progress.
When Jack finally arrives back at the office, Jack does one of the coolest things I have ever seen another human being do- he takes off his shirt in the middle of his office! Now, it seems that he has a locker in his office (which is very cool), but the fact that Jack feels comfortable enough to just take his shirt off in the middle of a government building- I think when this is all said and done, it won't be necessarily one of the awesomet things that Jack does, but it will be the moment where Jack shows us the bad-ass that is sleeping just beneath the surface. And right now, I would wager that bad-ass is laying down underneath that vintage 1990's barbed wire tat around Jack's right bicep.
End of the episode- Jack tells Nina that she's a traitor, throws her into a chair, and then yells in her face. Personally, I feel like it's a little early to play that card- but that's probably why Jack Bauer is the two highest cards in Euchre and Jason Parks is, at best, one of the 5's that you use to keep score. It is an irrational action with a sexual undertone- how much more bad-ass can you get?
Well, the answer to that question will hopefully be answered resoundingly in the next few episodes. Right now, Jack is more flash than substance- Derrick Coleman to Chuck Norris' Michael Jordan- but the good news is that there is an assassination attempt that will be taking place on Senator Palmer- which gives him plenty of time to do stuff that most of us will only have man-dreams about.
B.A. Actions- Episode 3- 3.5
B.A. Actions to date- 7.5
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