Okay everyone, come here, sit down real close...bring it closer...closer... TOO CLOSE, A LITTLE TOO CLOSE! I have to lay this down right now- we have to be honest, both with each other and with everybody. According to a recent Gallup Poll that I just totally made up, two thirds of US citizens cite honesty as the number one thing they look forward to in a relationship (to me, this joke is funny because I'm talking about honesty and using a deceivingly made up statistic to amplify my point. For further clarification please bang your head against a wall and reread the above). Seriously, though, one thing I despise about myself sometimes is how I'm not always 'out there', I'm not always 'real'.
It's a real easy trap to fall into. You know, the 'how are you doing, everythings fine despite the fact it's falling apart' trap- small talk, basically. I wish that I had the intestinal fortitude at all times to just be real, to bear myself for what I am at any given moment. While it's easier to be 'myself' on a faceless blog than it is as a named face, it's a step in the right direction.
I plan to say things that you might not expect me to say. I plan to reveal thoughts that you might not expect me to think. Does that mean I'm wrong? Does that mean you're wrong? I don't know. I just want to be me. You know what? I believe in absolute truth. You know what else? I don't always know how to apply that to a morally ambiguous world. You know what else else? I don't want to pretend I do.
For years, I have been frustrated by the stereotype that Christians were 'closed minded'. I'm equally frustrated that the Christian response has seemed to be 'well, we have the truth, so we don't need to open our minds'. My thought? If we believe Christ as truth (which I do), and that the Spirit will show us truth, then I don't think we have anything to fear by opening our minds. Now, does that mean that I think we need to try heroin at least once (or something like that, oddly heroin was the first thing that came to mind that was moderately "PC")? Um, no. What it means is that I think a healthy introspection of our beliefs. We need to engage in critical thinking, instead of just shutting down when something doesn't fit our definitions.
I'll give an example- Gay marriage. I don't think it should be illegal. Now, let me explain. I believe gay marriage is morally wrong. I'm against it, it's a sin, all that stuff. But should the government be deciding those kinds of things for us? That's where I've kind of took a step back and evaluated. In 2004, I was gung-ho against gay marriage in every regard. Now, I'm thinking that the government shouldn't really be deciding things like that in our personal life. And let's be honest. Our job as the church is to be the moral compass of society. The government sure isn't going to be, especially since there is this dead horse insistence on 'church vs. state', and if we're going to be a true democratic society, then I'm not sure we want government deciding areas of personal choice. What about if a governmental regime gets in power and rules that it's against the law to be a certain religion (Christianity for example)? A buddy on my worship team said it like this- there's only one Government that matters.
Honestly, this is a really hard thing for me to post, and it's really a little thing. But this represents the power of socialization, or man pleasing, however you want to word it. As I wrote this, I kept thinking of different people that might read this, and kept thinking, 'what will so-and-so think about this?'. That's crazy powerful, you know? But I want to show how POWERFUL this concept is, and how deeply entrenched in our being. We are taught, from very early on, that we need to do what we can to fit into society, and the deviance of others (and the consequences they face) reinforce this in us. As a result, when we get older, we are so trained to try and 'fit in' and care about what others think, that we become a slave to it.
My reason for writing this is more of a 'disclaimer' of sorts. I play to bare my soul on these pages. I may not fit into an 'archtype' that I'm supposed to fit into. I might say something that I shouldn't say, or think something that I 'shouldn't' think. Just keep in mind, this is my quest for truth. I'm tired, I'm tired of being a social role. I'm tired of being a demographic. I'm sick of being so concerned about what others say or think. I'm Jason Parks, and this is who I am. Let's figure this thing out, together, like iron sharpening iron. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes you're wrong, but to really submit to God, we have to first be able to break from from slavery to society
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