Phone again

So today was a very exciting day because our tax return was direct deposited and we are no longer uber poor! Naturally, we decided to go out and spend an extravagant amount of money on new phones! Well, actually, Sara spent a exorbitant amount of money on a new phone. I only spent a little money on mine.

Okay, okay, it wasn't a new phone- actually I didn't buy a phone today at all. I bought a phone accessory. Yes friends, a mere phone accessory convinced my college-educated brain that I somehow acquired an electronic device that I had not previously owned. When historians look back on this blog post, they will conclude that this is the day that I...oooooh look, shiny!!!

Let's flashback to October of 2010, when I got my new Droid phone as a super surprise Christmas present from my wife. It was amazing- I had probably spent the previous four years with a hand-me-down phone of some sort, so to be holding in my hands a brand-new smart phone- it was exhilarating. I couldn't wait to get home from work that night and try out my sweet new phone!

Flash forward just a tiny bit to right before I had to go to work that day. Delaney cut her mouth open, and I was distraught. Right before I left, I knelt down to give Shane a good-bye kiss- totally forgetting that I had put my keys and phone in the same pocket in my super duper tight jeans! Screen- cracked. Joy- depleted.

I spent the next few months wallowing in the anguish of my broken treasure. Sure, the screen still worked, and it was a smart phone. But there was an unsightly blemish on the starboard side, and every time I ran my finger over the distorted swelling, it stuck a knife through my warm fuzzies. I wanted to just cut ties with it, swallow the $90 deductible, and get a new phone...but the pragmatic side of me refused to part with a c-note over such a cosmetic deficiency. And so my internal civil war raged on for months.

Then, earlier this week, I remembered a scripture verse that gave me peace of mind and restored my hope. At least...I think it was a scripture verse. Maybe it was something that I made up all on my own. I think it was like 2 Dwayne, or something like that.

Jesus said to Nicodimus, 'Thou shalt not get a new phone except thoust phone come brand-new from the factory box a second time'. And thusly did Nicodimus then say 'But Lord, they are wrapped in cellophane and encoded with a special identification number per the terms of the cell-phone contract- how can it come brand new from the factory box again?'. Jesus replied 'Verily I tell you the truth, unless you buy a shiny blue hard case and replace thy olden screen protector, thy phone shall continue to bring shame to thee and thees household and thees households households'.

Sometimes I'm so frustrated that the Bible is such a cryptic piece of literature. I just wish it would speak more plainly on issues. So I filed this away in the back of my mind and proceeded to spend the rest of the week moping about the elephantitis on my phone's face, which at this point had also accumulated a fine layer of yucky dirt.

Anyways, today we went to Verizon to replace the phone that Sara had lost (and really, I'm surprised that this did not happen much, much sooner than it did). I was standing there, looking around, envying all of the paying customers who would be leaving Verizon Wireless with their happy brand new phones- when I saw it. It was in a clear plastic wrap- a hard case made of shiny blue. I decided to buy it. When I got home, I immediately put the case on my phone and became alive. Passion rising in my being, I tore the home apart, looking for the remaining extra screen protectors that I had laying around. Then, I found them.

And now, the moment of truth. I took the old screen protector off, expecting to find a huge gaping wound on the screen of my phone. What I found instead....was a barely noticeable nick. Really? REALLY??? I spent the last few months debating getting a new phone because of an unsightly blemish that was really just a natural reaction from air getting into the screen protector? AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Actually- that lasted for about .5 seconds, until I put the new screen protector on and got to experience the joy of having a new phone all over again. Seriously- it was like a second honeymoon today. My phone was lost, but now is found. It was dead to me- but it is alive again.

Oh happy day! Rejoice- and have another bean burrito, on the house!