Assassins Creed: Revelations comes out today...which means I won't be getting it for a couple months

This blog is one of those rare entities where the title of my blog pretty much says what I want the whole blog to say.  And if you want to leave right now, I wouldn't blame you.  You've probably spent minutes, if not hours, reading my posts before only to arrive at the end with your neck involuntarily spasming and contracting your face into your desk.  So leave now if you must.  I won't hold it against you.  You'll just miss out on the chance to win free money.

Now that I have you hooked, I'm going to tell you that there actually is no chance at winning free money.  But hahaha- you're hooked!  You can't just leave now!  You'd look/feel foolish.  So even though you'll keep reading until the end with slightly blushing cheeks and an increasingly complex plan for vengeance, by the time you reach the end of this I'll most likely be washing my hair in another country.  Also, you'll notice that I've managed to stretch a blog that admittedly was summarized in the title into two whole paragraphs. 

(I just wanted a chance to show a picture of pre-meltingly hot Patrick McDreamy Pants)

But let's get down to some business. Because I do actually have something I would consider to be relevant commentary on the thesis I proposed in my title.

Yes, the new Assassins Creed game (Revelations) comes out today and I want it- bad.  In fact, on my Wishpot wish list, I gave it the highest desire ranking I could-  I neeeed it!  I've played through the first three games (although Assassins Creed: Revelations is not Assassins Creed IV...it's more like II.III), and could conceivably never own another (non-Assassins Creed) game for the rest of my life.  They're amazing.


The Assassins Creed games are basically every dudes fantasy set a few hundred years in the past.  Your whole job is to climb up buildings, kick butt, mess with the local police force, and sometimes kill bad guys.  You have an almost unlimited means of income.  You can rent women.  At any given time, you'll have a pistol, two hidden daggers, a sword, a knife, some vials of poison, and several throwing blades on your person.  You are always in peak physical fitness and you can traipse around the city wearing robes and armor.  In other words, this is exactly the kind of stuff we used to play when we were kids, except our weapons were sticks and women were still the enemy (cooties are much like a weaponized Krippen virus back then).  I don't need to buy any more video games ever...that is, until they make a new Assassins Creed game.
 

I'm mostly joking when I say this, but that's pretty much what capitalism is built on- the production and consumption of things that we don't really need.  And the people that make these things (and the people that market them) are very, VERY good at their jobs.  Sure, I don't need this game at all in a technical sense, and I definitely need things like toilet paper, gasoline, and a place to live much more than I need to roam around virtual Constantinople in the 1500s. I know these things in my head.  I know the the games $59.99 price tag will go down considerably after a few months, and I'll be able to play the same game but for cheaper (while also having a home where I can wipe my bum with the toilet paper I drove to the store to buy).

But that didn't stop me from having to basically strap myself to a chair and take myself offline over the past week as my mind kept trying to figure out some way, any way, to get my hands on that game on the day it came out.  "How much cushion do we have in the checking account?  How much remaining balance is on that credit card?  How much could I get if I sold this game or that book or those children?  Hey, I could order from here and open a new account...".  Even though I rationally understand that the ability to wait will give us added financial stability while saving money in the long run, my brain was still trying to convince me to just go ahead and get the game already.  Thanks a lot, brain.

Please understand, I'm not looking for sympathy (maybe a little) or a handout (although I wouldn't give it back)- I'm just relaying the ridiculous struggle that I'm sure millions of Americans go through when their favorite book/movie/game/toy is released to stores.  Somehow, whether from our parents or our friends or commercials or our own humanity (or a combination of the above), we get roped into the capitalist mindset and struggle to suppress immediate gratification for trivia even though the practical situational reality should work just fine to ensure that we focus our energies on the bottom parts of the hierarchy.  You know, just things like FOOD.  WATER.  SHELTER.


Capitalism doesn't want to hear that noise though, so they created credit cards.  And while things have changed in recent years to make things less unfair for credit card users (including not having college kids sitting around giving out free t-shirts for signing up for your first credit card), that doesn't change the reality for myself and millions of Americans. 

I don't think this is a moral issue or something where it makes me (and people like me) somehow 'inferior' to others.  The system was created to exploit us!  I'm frustrated that the Occupy Wall Street dividing line seems to be between hippie socialists and stoic Great Depression survivors.  Many on the stoic side say , "If I want something I just save for it.  I don't live past my means".  Which is, by all accounts, outstanding.  I commend you.  That doesn't give you the right to look down on the rest of us, but I commend you.

Unfortunately, that's not everybody.  And it isn't that I want a bailout, or a do-over.  I made mistakes- I know that, I own them, and have no problem paying back the money that I borrowed against my future to pay for the present. That's my role in all this.  I may not have completely understood the ramifications, but I at least knew that I'd have to pay this money back.

The system is still screwed up though.  It's designed around people like me.  Without people like me, it falls apart.  So they use crazy powerful science to manipulate our feelings, emotions, thinking and get us to desire things that we don't really need (or even want)...and then they give us the means to purchase those things even when we don't have the means.  That's why I'm generally for the Occupy movement.  The system is designed to keep the masses suppressed and immobilized while a select few hold onto the resources and power in our society.

But I'm getting slightly off topic.  I honestly didn't mean to turn this into anti-capitalist propaganda.  I actually was hoping primarily to talk about how I'm refocusing my other blog.  You know, the Sojourn Boulevard one?  What am I talking about- of course you remember.  Pretend like I didn't even question.

I'm pretty much turning it into my own little on-line journal/diary/what have you about Ezio's escapades through late 15th-early 16th century Italy.  There's three games (as well as some novels and a wiki), so I should have lots of info for plenty of shenanigans to keep me busy.  I will miss the Darth Vader/Dr. Manhattan/Ezio roomie situation (and possibly one day will bring it back), but in the end I just don't have the chops to pull it off right now.  Not that I have the chops to pull of most of what I write, but hey, what do you expect?  Don't look for it anytime soon necessarily- I've actually taken it offline for the time being- because I'm trying to focus more on seriousy type stuff.  But I just wanted to let you, the faithful reader, be in the know before the know gets known.  Ya know?

So now- aren't you glad you finished reading this post?  Please, don't answer that.

PIC- https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZpEv46uXahSw9S0bZ8K8ogVBbeobrWDV1A6PFsATEd8fUf_W40iEcjnl3g5JUTSbZFYxwxaukGEFoWUH2V0XjnMKVWzceQAIWsbgJ7PDsw9GQDs3xVaHyD8c2eVdvNRw4UW3yOvNyBRk/s1600/Can-t-Buy-Me-Love-caps-patrick-dempsey-7134090-720-528.jpg

It's a Baby Cannon nation, you just live in it.

Well, as many of you probably don't know, or some of you do, last night Baby Cannon had the privilage of recording our first studio EP- Barrel, Powder, Fuse. We recorded at Redfella records in Marquette. It's not Abbey Road, but a newb indy band on a limited budget is not going to turn down a chance to lay down some tracks for $25 an hour. The guy who was supposed to mix us got sick, so the release of the CD is going to be delayed a little bit (we were only able to get a rough mix last night).

Needless to say, I'm excited. So excited that I decided to take notes and bring you a play by play! Actually, it's not a true play by play. I made up most of the times, because, well, as it turns out, I kinda had to set up and play and that just didn't leave much time for paying attention to details. Nonetheless, here is the Artistic Liberty play by play of our studio time for our first album.

4:54- I'm just about on my way out the door to head to the studio, when I get a call from Matt. The guy who was supposed to record and mix us has come down with some rare form of flesh-eating bacteria/zombie virus that he got from taking some Krippin-wonder drug thing, or something to that effect. I may or may not have made that up.

Oh Will, so glad I found you. Listen, I think everybody else is dead or a zombie...so do you know anything about recording and/or mixing?

5:00-5:22- A series of phone calls go back and forth between me, Matt, and somebody else, trying to figure out if we still want to record or not...the owner of Redfella records (who just happened to show up I guess) said he wanted to record us, and actually shaved $10/hour off of the price. During this whole waiting game, I just really felt Peace about it...God makes all things work together for our good, ya know? Like it was weird, just sitting in the chair, feeling completely calm.

5:22- All systems go! Head to the church, where Jesse, Joe, and I waited outside in the freezing cold parking lot while Matt and Jared stopped at McDonalds...thanks a lot guys!

6:00ish- We have about an hour before we're supposed to be at Redfella, so we decide to practice some stuff. Sounds reasonable, right? Well, a little backstory. Pretty much all week, we wrestled for hours and hours on end trying to put a song together (Tower of Babel, one I wrote), and I was just thinking that we should scrap it...but Matt had other ideas. He had cooked up this other-worldly transition while he was, um, 'being inspired' (this is a band inside joke, ergo you are not privy to the meaning...but feel free to laugh if you wish), and after resisting and refusing and boycotting...we tried it, Jared reworked the chorus, and long story short I was humbled and we decided to do the song.

Somewhere around 7:00- We're all packed up, we get to Redfella, unload, and time to set things up! This is really happening!

7:37- I just finished up setting up the drums in a little room in the studio. Picture an outhouse/sauna without the smell, without the vihta, and that's pretty much what I was set up in. Well, at first it didn't smell bad, but after a few hours of being cooped up in a confined space...let's just say I marked my territory and it wasn't pretty.

7:45-8:20- Probably the most fun time of recording is the down time. I mean, playing music is fun, and we didn't pay $25 an hour to go in and shoot the bull, but down time was super awesome. Much of what was said will drift into Inside Joke territory, but I don't want to completely allienate our fan base, so I will spill the gossip beans to those who might cry themselves to sleep at night wondering, 'What does Baby Cannon talk about?'.

Well, we sat around while Jesse played Pokemon on the DS. Um...oh yeah, we talked about Fingernail Trimming etiquitte, because Joe committed the cardinal sin of Fingernail Trimming, which is starting a Trimming session and stopping before completion. We discussed facial hair, and the tendency of my son Shane to rip it off of my face. We delved into the merits of teleportation/telekenisis, and how we could use those abilities to hustle people out of money...kinda like 'White Men Can't Jump', except it'd be 'White Men Can't Traverse Portals Through Other Dimensions', or 'White Men Can't Manipulate Objects With Their Minds'.

Hey Woody, how about 'White Men Can't Wear Pink' ? Hello!

We discovered that Joe does a great Smeagol impression. The problem is, he looks more like an Uruk-hai.

I'm not making this up.

Finally, during prayer we established Matt's Car as the second most popular frequent for the presence of God. So...there. If you want to meet God, ask Matt for a ride.

8:42- Ah, some excitement! Andrew plugs in a pre-amp, and it almost catches on fire. We appreciate pyrotechnics, but I think it's a little much for a studio session...unless somehow we can make it so that everytime someone listens to our CD, things start to smoke.

Remember kids, only you can prevent Music Studio Fires

9:21- Mmmmm...Chicken McNuggets!

9:25- Go time!

10:10- After almost an hour, we have managed to slosh our way through 'Tower of Babel', and I'm impressed...it has many elements that I envisioned when I wrote the song, but Baby Cannon took it to completely new levels. I love these guys! Anyhow, Matt and I are now doing vocals. I feel like the singer guy on 'Real Men of Genius'.

10:29- We are finally done with 'Tower of Babel'. At the current rate, we will be done recording at 5:00 a.m.

From here though, it's pretty much a breeze. We practiced our other songs for many many hours, and so in the next 3 hours, we manage to nail down our other 6 songs. There isn't much to tell...partially because of our singular focus, partly because we're all so flippin' tired.

2:30- As it stands right now, the final mix is not done, and of course there are a ton of little mistakes that we (and other musicians) will be able to pick out...but overall it sounds great!

Hopefully we'll get some gigs when the next semester starts, and we can start to take this to another level...I appreciate all of you who have and will support our band...it might be cliche', but really if a band does not have fans, then it is a garage band...so thanks! We love our fans! And to show how much we love our fans, I've included some bonus Behind-The Scenes shots of Baby Cannon in the studio! Woohoo!

Me rockin' the drums. Not a posed picture at all.

Matt. Again, this picture is in no way faked or 'posed', but is obviously an intense live action moment caught on film because I am an awesome photographer.

Jesse playing Pokemon. Get that level 30 Charzard, dude!

Jared and Joe. Um, can't really think of a funny caption. Sorry guys.

Baby Cannon and our CD!

God bless, we'll see ya on the flip side