College football thoughts from this past weekend

Despite paying little or no attention to college football in my blog this year, in the spirit of the recently-concluded "rivalry weekend" (or I guess I could say week now, as there were games on Thursday and Friday), I'm going to force you to choose whether or not to be subjected to my musings.  (But the answer is yes).

-First of all, hats off to Michigan for beating the Buckeyes for the first time in seven years.  Granted it was a very close win at home against a far inferior opponent, but still- a win is a win.  A lot has changed at Michigan since the last time they beat the team from the south.  Michigan has been doing the Hoke-y Pokey this season, which seems to have turned themselves around (which is really what it's all about).  Jim Tressel (the anti-John Cooper) is busy rocking his sweater-vest as a consultant for worst NFL team in the world (for once, not the Detroit Lions).   Terrelle Pryor, highly esteemed four year OSU starting QB, graduated and....wait, you mean Pryor didn't graduate?  He was forced to leave school early because of a scandal?  Oh.  Never mind*.

- Urban Meyer, former Florida Gators coach and current ESPN talky guy, created quite a stir this weekend by denying reports that Ohio State had offered him its head coaching position, but then asking to be taken off of the broadcast team for the OSU-U-M game.  Meyer has admitted that if the Buckeyes make an offer, he'd have "a decision to make" (which shows that Meyer has come a long way from middle school, when girls would ask him to dance and he'd just sort of stand there until they either gave up or just grabbed his arms and dragged him to the dance floor). 

I mean, if he does decide to return to coaching, he's not going to get much of a better offer than OSU.  Top notch school, great tradition and history, able to pick from the best players every year- with a great offensive mind like Meyer has, OSU would be back on top in, like, two seasons.  Tops.

And I hate that we're even talking about this.  Not just because it's OSU, either.

What pisses me off is that he "retired" last December (which is, according to my calendar, less than a year ago) to "spend some time with his family".  I used the ".." because I think it's probably B.S.  And I'm not just hating on Meyer.  I know other coaches have done this as well, and and retiring to spend time with his family, only to quickly return to some other lucrative coaching opportunity.

At least Meyer did take some time off.  Yeah, he took off about a month and a half before he was hired by ESPN in January of 2011 to be a college football analyst.  This probably means one of three things:
1) He realized that he really doesn't like his family that much. 
2) He does like his family, but in that month and a half he was able to spend so much time with them that there was literally nothing else that they could do as a family.
3) Urban is really, really bad with money and just needed to get a job.

Of course, a fourth reason is probably that he realized Tim Tebow had graduated and that a string of 4-5+ loss seasons was looking him square in the face.  That's enough to send any coach to the hospital with chest pains.  I think coaches leave for this reason or that reason, and the "spend time with family" one is supposed to somehow dumb things down- like they're trying to convince us that they really are humans (just like us) and not simply overly-competitive workaholic megalomaniacs.
 
I wonder if his kids got really excited when they found out he was quitting the job that meant he was never, ever home (and probably distant/stressed out when he was home)- and what their feelings were when, less than two months later, he was going back to another job that meant lots of hours, phone calls on birthdays and 'hurry up and open your damn Christmas presents, I have to be at practice at 6 a.m. today' holidays. 

Note to future Urban Meyer players: If Urban Meyer ever refers to your team as 'family', then abandon ship- you know that you are about to be thrown under the bus.

-Speaking of throwing under the bus, Montee Ball from U-W decided that, in his quest to break Barry Sanders' single-season record for TDs (and by the way, when I read that, I realized how strongly I still feel about Barry Sanders because it sort of made me mad that someone was approaching his record), he would give his O-line the Marq-tran Heave-ho.  After the Badgers win against Penn State, he said (in terms of the record), "Whatever the offensive line wants.  If they want me to get there, then I'll get there".

Alright, so I guess it's not really throwing them under the bus, it's more like a well-time hip check just as the bus is coming by.

Still, I couldn't believe it when I read that.  You're putting the onus on your O-line to get you this mark?  That whether or not you achieve your record is dependent on their level of desire?  Never mind which plays the coaches call, down/distance, game situations, defensive game planning, what have you.  The latent statement here is "If I don't get it, it's because my O-line is a bunch of selfish slackers".  Which isn't really a message you want to send to the guys protecting you from the 250+ pound Ball-seeking missiles.

Montee, you've had a phenomenal season, even if you don't break the TD record (and I'm hoping you don't.  Just saying).  But could it be that maybe you got your sports cliches mixed up?  That is, you recognize that the O-line is a huge part of your success and you know that every player is an important part of the team but you had to answer a question about an individual record and there was some sort of short circuit in your brain...maybe?

It'll be interesting to see if the Badger O-line takes it personal (and I'm hoping they do.  Just saying).

-After a topsy turvey seasons end, the BCS is finally shaping up a little bit...unfortunately it looks like it's going to be an SEC title game in the NCAA title game.  As a football fan and SEC ambivalist, I'm not really looking forward to this.

I don't want to take away anything from the LSU Tigers- they were pretty much dominant in every game this season (only one win was by less than 2 TD- technically.  13 point win against Mississippi State) and they look like the best team in the country.  I'm still holding out hope that Georgia pulls the upset in the SEC title game but I'm not holding my breath.  And even if I were holding my breath, I'd wait until much, much closer to the actual game itself because I would surely pass out several times if I started now.
But after seeing Michigan lose out on a shot at a rematch against OSU a few years ago (when they met late in the season as #1 vs. #2) , I'm not overly keen on seeing LSU-Alabama II for all the marbles.  Yes, they're ranked #1 and #2- but my personal feelings are that those rankings are (maybe) more indicative of where they started the season ranked.  At seasons beginning, LSU was ranked #4 and Alabama was #2.  Now, they did each have an early season test (which they both passed)- but there was a lot of fluff to be had on those schedules as well.  And overall, the SEC had what I would call a down year. 

I've already written about the inherent flaw in the ranking system, so I won't get into that again.  In fact, I'm not even going to hyperlink to it.  If you want to read it, then by golly get up off your lazy butt and find it!  Sorry, I was just channeling my inner-Montee Ball there for a second.

As someone who likes to see underdogs succeed, it's very frustrating that teams like Oklahoma State (who admittedly had a really, really bad hiccup), Boise State (who lost a much more defensible close game at home versus a very good TCU team), and even Stanford (with only one loss, which came against a top-10 team) are going to be left on the sidelines while Alabama gets the second chance that Michigan didn't get five years ago.

- If Mark Ingram won the Heisman back in 2009 (which he did, according to my sources), then Trent Richardson deserves to win it in 2011.  I would vote for Richardson on principle, but he's had superior numbers to Ingram and ended his regular season with a monster game in the Iron Bowl against Auburn (unlike Ingram, who limped to the finish and pretty much won the Heisman because he had a captive audience the weekend the votes were cast).  There are plenty of worthy candidates- but Richardson has been a beast all year playing for the #2 ranked team.  He was held under 100 yards rushing 3 times- against Kent State (37 yards, probably only played like a quarter, did have 3 TDs), Tennessee (77 yards, had 2 TDs), and LSU (89 yards, with 80 yards receiving).  So even when he was "sub-par", he was still pretty "sup-er".  Did you see what I did there?  Impressive, no? 

So that's my football thoughts for now.  In the meantime, Go Snow Flurries!!!

*Obviously I knew about the scandal.  Even though I no longer consider myself a die-hard Michigan fan, this disdain for OSU has died hard, and I couldn't resist a little elbow-to-the-ribs of the Buckeye nation.  Nothing like a rivalry win to make me feel a little Internet bravery, eh?

Penn State and video games

This is going to sound extremely trivial, so you're going to have to bear (bare?  Gosh, I can never get this right!) with me for a bit- NCAA Football 11 for the PS3 drove home the magnitude of the Penn State sexual abuse/cover up scandal.

I don't mean this to belittle the severity of what happened or the pain of those whose lives have forever been shattered.  I just merely wish to point out that in the complexity of the human brain, we can still find surprises in the every day, mundane things.  In this instance, I spent several hours this past week reading articles about Jerry Sandusky and Penn State University and it took EA Sports and a year-old PS3 title for me to really process this historically awful event. 

Let me break it down.

Earlier this afternoon I was playing NCAA Football 11 while I try to get Shane to JUST FREAKING FALL ASLEEP ALREADY OH MY GOSH!!!!  Seriously he was not feeling well so I was doing whatever I could to get him to get bored and fall asleep.  Like a good dad should, right?  Anyways, what could be more boring than watching your dad relive his imaginary glory years than by quarterbacking a pretend school on a 27 inch television?

And ordinarily, you'd be right.

So I turned it on, started playing innocen...OH COME ON REF- THAT HOLD HAD NO RELEVANCE TO THE PLAY- GAH ALL THE COMPUTER DOES IS FRICKING CHEAT!!!!!  And that's when I started to realize what this whole Penn State fiasco means for football.

I don't mean that statement in a manner that belittles the sufferings of sexual abuse victims.  I spent about four years at a non-profit agency working with kids who had been abused and neglected.  So I have a slight idea, a limited understanding of what sexual abuse means to those kids.  It's probably the ugliest thing that can happen in our society nowadays.  So in the grand scheme, it really doesn't matter what it means to football.

But looking at college football as a separate entity...OH MY GOODNESS- how does this happen?  I know that sports are not immune to this sort of vile crime, and that I'm prone to thinking through my idiot lens.  But college football people don't do this.  College football people take steroids, and pay athletes under the table, and practice more than they're supposed to, and sell their swag for tattoos, and help their athletes stay eligible by cheating in the classroom.  College football people don't sexually abuse children.  They don't ruin innocence.  Yes, yes, I'm generalizing and type casting- but that's the college football image that has been cultivated in my mind over years and years of exposure.  Sure, we break the rules...but nobody really gets hurt.  They can't say that anymore.


The fact that it's Penn State just adds to the layer of shock.  Maybe it's just all the articles I've read in the past couple of days from Penn State alums talking about how great Penn State is/was...but this is probably the last institution I ever would have thought I'd hear that this sort of thing had happened at.  Maybe it's the boring uniforms or the lack of offseason shenanigans or the Coke-bottle glasses-wearing coach- the truth is I just never really thought about Penn State at all, which in our culture of Falling-Star worship is pretty much the highest praise I can give to an institution.  They excelled on the football field, but they kept their profile out of the tabloids.  You can't say that anymore.
And it took an afternoon playing a football video game for me to really get ahold of the concept that the Penn State scandal is not just about the loss of innocence for those 8 victims- it's about the loss of innocence for an entire sport.  Sexual abuse is no longer just something that that faceless villains to do innocent kids in nameless towns all over the world.  It's something that can happen anywhere.  Anywhere.  Even in college football, a place that I always thought was safe from that sort of thing.

Of course, having worked with a subset of the population that it has happened to, I knew this.  It's probably my biggest fear as a parent is that somewhere in the system, someone that we trust our children's lives with will brutally and shamefully violate that trust and leave our children with the most horrible and painful scars imaginable.  But I suppress it, largely because if you have that level of distrust of every person working in the system all the time- you turn into a paranoid schizophrenic. 

Still though...the lesson now is that as a parent, there is a need for some hypervigilance.  Those we used to write blank trust checks for are now the ones that we will take the closest look at.  By all accounts, Jerry Sandusky was a saint.  Now it appears he was merely a wolf dressed as a sheep.  And his alleged actions (and the actions of those like him) have made wearing wool the latest fashion faux pas. 

Today, I officially laid to rest college football's aura of innocence.  I don't grieve for the sport- rather, I grieve for those who have been hurt because of my (and those like me) obsession with it.  The culture of invincibility that we have worshipped at for countless Saturdays has been exposed as just another big business venture willing to do whatever to whoever in the name of self-interest.  That said, I will try to keep perspective in the weeks and months ahead and not just assume the worst of every coach, coordinator, and player I see. 

I just won't think they're Mr. Rogers, either. 

PIC- http://www.nickjr.com/flex_article/assets/wallpaper/dora-school-wallpaper/dora-school-wallpaper-standard.jpg

Okay Michigan...any more bright ideas?

First off, congrats to Jim Harbaugh for landing the San Francisco 49ers gig. I have fond memories of his miracle playoff run in 1995, and I guess since then I've always liked to see him succeed. He strikes me as a classy guy, and from what I've read, he's a heck of a coach. I mean, to bring Stanford to the heights that he did this past season is very impressive.

That said, I don't think he's going to do very well in the NFL. It's a rough transition for most college coaches to the NFL- and I honestly don't see it going much differently in this case. The 49ers have some talent- but they have serious QB questions in a league that demands good QB play. Plus, how quickly will 49er fans turn on him if they get off to a slow start next year and Stanford starts off well (of course, we're assuming that there will be a next season).

But that's not really what I wanted to address. The fact is, I apparently have developed the gift of prophecy- and if you don't believe me, check this out. And no- it doesn't really matter that everyone else was saying the same thing- because I was bold enough to say it (and no, you cannot leave and go do a Google search...you just have to take my word for it, I'm a bona fide clairvoyant).

Unfortunately, at this point, the whole search-for-a-coach situation is really feeling like a Chinese fire drill. I like the fact that U- M AD Dave Brandon took his time- but unfortunately it seems like the cons might end up outweighing the pros. Rich Rod got a month+ to prepare for a bowl game with no vote of confidence for his job, high school recruits got to listen to other coaches play up the lack of stability at Michigan, and any desire that Jim Harbaugh had for the Michigan job left the building.

So now what? Michigan is really starting to look like that dude at the bar that wants to take a girl home and get lucky, only it's close to closing time and the pickings are slim. You could have asked that hot chick (Harbaugh in this case) way earlier in the night, but you wanted to wait it out a little bit with the girl you came with (Rich Rod), but you had too much to drink and kicked her to the curb. So you are basically looking at taking the ugly girl home tonight buddy.

Seriously, I feel like they're grasping at straws and just throwing out names. If there was any inkling back in December that they were going to fire Rodriguez- they probably should have done it, because right now I feel like the odds are increasing that they will be forced to make a seriously panic-driven decision as they continue to get turned down by all the coaching prospects. Bo Pelini? Said no. Pat Fitzgerald? Thanks but no thanks. Jon Gruden? Wait...Jon Gruden? That would be like failing to find a suitable one-night stand mate and just going back to your pad and playing X-box with your roomies.

Of course, Michigan does have a plan- Les Miles. I know, I know- it's not much of a plan. I suppose it's a good sign that he has agreed to meet with Michigan. Maybe he just likes to reject people face to face, I don't know. Maybe it coincides with his need to hunker down for the winter.

But if I was Miles- why would I leave a lucrative coaching gig in the SEC (where I get paid $2.8 million, BTWs) with a team that was 12-2 in the best conference in the land for a team that has 2 losing records in the last 3 years, the worst defense ever, and a team built for a completely different play style? I suppose there is the whole "Michigan-man" thing- but that wasn't enough to entice Harbaugh, and it wasn't enough to sway Miles last time around.

As a seer of the future, I'm not trying to use my new found powers to spread doom and gloom- but I also don't like the direction that this is all headed. At this pace, the Wolverines are in line to get rejected by Kevin O'Shea, Ed Gennero, and Coach Klein. Eric Taylor, though, is practically begging for the job- and by 'begging for the job', I mean he is yelling at his players and looking very confused.

At least we're not the Dolphins- how about that whole soap opera? Searching for a coach while you already have a coach- that sounds like something that even Ohio State wouldn't do.

Eulogy to the Victors, valiant

This post is awesome! I understand this man's reasons for turning his back on his birthright! I'm not sure why I'm screaming!

Holidays are a time for many things, and one of the main thing is self-reflection. It is a time when we tend to look in the mirror and really give ourselves the once over. And I don't think we usually like what we find, hence New Years Resolutions. Comparing ourselves to the ideals of the Christmas season (Love, Sacrifice, Hope, Retail) we often find our own qualities lacking. We decide then that changes need to be made. We make room for the new by sweeping out the old.

It is then with a heavy heart with which I deliver this news- I am no longer going to be a University of Michigan fan.

Now, take a pause to let that sink in. Those of you who really know me know how much I love Michigan football...I love it so much that I get downright angry when they lose. Scratch that- I get downright angry when they throw an incomplete pass! I get very passionate about their successes and failures, and the 1997 National Championship is one of my most cherished football memories, right up there with Charles Woodson and his Heisman and Desmond Howard and his Heisman and Brandent Englemon and his Honorable Mention All-Conference season.


Unfortunately, there have been many more disappointments than appointments...er, um, victories. Two of the most vivid involve the hated Spartans of Michigan. One of them is from 1990, when the then #1 Wolverines lost 28-27 because Desmond Howard was raped in front of over 100,000 people and a two point conversion attempt failed. The second is from 1999, when the Spartan clock operator accidentally thought that 1 second was more like 30 seconds, giving the Spartans time for one last play, which they parlayed into the game winning touchdown. I was so mad that I didn't speak to anyone for the next couple hours. I just sat in the living room, brooding. I also have bitter memories of bowl losses to Washington, Tennessee, Oregon, Texas, and a couple to USC.

Well, in the past couple of months, I've started to reflect. And I've started to think. By the way, the thinking thing has gone on much longer than the past couple of months, smart alecs. There is actually evidence of me thinking as early as 2004 A.D., so hahaha the joke is on you. Anyways, I realized that my intense passion had impacted me to the point where I don't even watch the games anymore because I hate what it does to my mood when they lose. Scratch that, when they blow ONE SINGLE SERIES- I basically explode.

Maybe my expectations are too high- I mean, it's impossible for any team to go undefeated and unscored while scoring on every single one of their possessions...I haven't even managed to pull that off on Xbox, which actually isn't very realistic. But I blame the hype machine for fostering an atmosphere that gives birth to unrealistic expectations.

The fact that Michigan had a losing season and broke a 30+ year bowl game streak is only one thread in a tapestry that has slowly unwoven itself over the past several years and is now a pile of old maize and blue string lying at my feet. The first frays really started in the mid 90's, and our string of four loss seasons. Sure, we were owning the Buckeyes during that time. But why should one victory, even over a hated rival, douse the sting of mediocrity? The 1997 championship provided temporary reprieve, but we followed up that season by losing our first two games of 1998 to Notre Dame and the Donovan McNabb-led Syracuse Stupid Mascot Names. Ugh. More pain.

Watching the Michigan towel boy get leveled in 'Waterboy' and the subsequent LMAO chipped a little more away from the aura of invincibility. A few years ago, I actually stooped to buying a hated Spartan shirt at Steve and Barry's (I still own the shirt, it actually looks fabulous on me). These are things that die-hard fans don't do, and here I was, doing them. But the thing is, I didn't feel dirty. At all. I felt...kinda good.

Once my unfailing devotion to the Wolverines came into question, the curtain fell rather quickly. It was not unaided, however. Tom Brady played a big role in this process. As a Wolverine, I adored Brady, and would have gladdly drank the sweat from his game socks. As a New England Patriot? I would gladly dump gallons of sock-sweat on his pretty-boy face. How could I so callously hate own of the Family? I didn't realize it at the time, but my foundation as a Wolverine had crumbled, to the point where my loyalty to Michigan could be stripped away by something as simple as utter hatred of anything to do with the New England Patriots. Of coures, it doesn't help that over the past few seasons, the Big Ten has been unable to compete on the national scene. Michigan and others have had some scattered success in bowl games and high-profile non-conference games, but there has been this sense that everyone else was taking their games to the next level, while the Big Ten was content to live with this notion of 'Three yards and a cloud of dust'. When we play schools like USC and Texas, it's amazing at how much faster they are than we are. And yeah, we beat Florida last year in the bowl game. Why? Because it was Lloyd's fairwell party. If Lloyd would have been back this past year, I'm pretty confident that Florida would have Tebowed us into submission.

Here's two more reasons. Appalachian State. Toledo. Who? These are two of the teams that have come from completely off the radar to deliver humiliating home losses to the Big House. I mean, do Florida and Texas and Oklahoma lose to 1-AA teams at home? Granted those schools schedule the scum of 1-AA, but they just don't lose those types of games. Not like we have the past two seasons.

But the final straw has been the current Buckeye domination of the Winged Helmets. I know that these things are cyclical, and that in the 90's, we had OSU's number. But when Terrell Pryor turns down a chance to be The Man from day one at Michigan running an offense that was designed by God for his talents to attend the bitter rival...well, that's not cyclical. That's something deeper and more mysterious.

And let's just say that we have another unbeaten season that culminates with a National Championship. What then? What is the point? There is no lasting fruit bore, no spoils to enjoy. The thought always goes to the next season. There is no enjoyment. Next season looms, with its challenges, stresses, and inevitable defeat waiting, lurking. Ugh.

I enjoy watching football, I do. And I find that the most enjoyment that I have is not when I watch Michigan win. No, its when I watch a well played game. It's when I see amazingly awesome big plays. It's when I see hard hits. I like watching upsets, hail marys, goal line stands. These things can happen during any game, at any time, and even more so when I am free of my partisan responsibilities.

Now that I am shedding my emotional millstone, I will be free to enjoy football at any and all times. Sure, when I see Michigan play there will be those feelings of longing. Kinda like when you see an ex girlfriend- you remember the good times, and hope she's doing well, but you can't go back with her because she broke your heart and stole all your records. I'm sure some of you will read this and think I'm overreacting, or that I'm a quitter. 'Wait out the storm', you say, while others might call me a fair weather fan. But you know what? I don't care. Because I'm free. I'm free and I love it.


I'll see ya at the Humanitarian Bowl. Or the Tangerine Bowl. Or the Toilet Bowl. And you'll see me, watching football, having fun, and walking away from it all, smiling.


'Jason, again, I think that you had an excellent post. And even though my first season sucked majorly, and my second season could be just as bad, I can hold a press conference with a smile on my face knowing that I have played a part in pushing away a very loyal fanbase'.


Rich photo #1- blog.nj.com/rutgers_football/2008/06/Rich%20Rodriguez%20Rutgers%20Michigan%20WVU.JPG
Rich photo #2- thewareaglereader.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/rr.jpg

Sending out an S.O.S. for U-M football

Okay, I have to put in a disclaimer that I didn't watch the Michigan game today. I haven't watched much Michigan football over the course of my lifetime. That's because I am a DIEHARD Michigan fan...at least I consider myself one. 'How can you be a DIEHARD fan if you don't even watch their games', you might be thinking, especially after I put the question in the blog. Well, the reason I don't watch is because I'm SO passionate about the Wolverines, that I get very angry when watching them if things go bad- like throw stuff angry. Now, I'm not talking 'give up a touchdown' to lose the lead bad. I'm talking simple stuff, like overthrowing a wide-open receiver in a meaningless game against a MAC school.

At least, the games against the MAC USED to be meaningless. Now, understand, I'm not trying to knock the MAC. I cut my college teeth at CMU, and am very proud of the progress that the MAC has made against big college programs. And if Toledo had beat any other major conference team on the road (like they did in 2000 when they beat Penn State), I would have been whooping it up for the underdog. But see, here's the thing- this wasn't just any other major conference team- this was the MICHIGAN WOLVERINES!!! And this wasn't just any other stadium- this was the BIG HOUSE!!! How do we let, in back to back years, little football peons come into OUR house and walk out as victors? Sure, we have a new coach and a completely new system (which I am actually excited about), and Toledo is historically a solid mid-major program. But I am hurting at the realization that we are not going to have a winning record this year, we are not going to a bowl game, and barring a miracle, we are not going to beat Ohio State. That last one irks me most of all- maybe it's just payback for the Cooper years- because I hate Ohio State- even my Scottish cousin, Chris, who is more like a second brother, couldn't remove the stain of my hate when he chose to attend there. Then Terrelle Pryor rubs it in my face by choosing the Buckeyes over us...okay, I'm getting off on a tangent. My point is that this college football season is already a lost cause for me- and we aren't even halfway done. At least there is the Lions...um...crap. The whole football season is shot.

Go Red Wings!

Photo taken from ESPN.com