Baby I'm glad you're back

Last March I gave a beautiful, emotionally charged, and surprisingly insightful epitaph on my deceased relationship with basketball.  If you've frequented my blog, you know that any declarative statement of any type that I make is basically just a placeholder for the next time I change my mind.  I go back and forth more than Pong.  So you shouldn't be surprised when I say to you that I have fallen in love with basketball all over again.

I think a couple of things have fueled the rebirth of my basketball jones.  Reading Bill Simmons certainly played a big role.  He is undoubtedly my favorite sports writer, and the passion, wit, and intelligence with which he writes about basketball is super contagious.  In fact, I could probably point to the day I started reading his Book of Basketball as the day I began to come home to hoops (this is a hindsight call- at the time, I didn't realize it fully).  It was like 700 pages reminding me what I love about the game.

Actually, now that I think about it, Simmons is probably the whole reason that I came back to hoops.  It certainly wasn't the NBA itself.  Sure, last season was extremely compelling (with a sweet feeling at the end) but then they went into lockout mode and it looked like the season would be canceled (note: in sports labor disputes, I always root for seasons to be canceled- I just think it's good for perspective)...then the game came back and Simmons wrote a bajillion articles in a short period of time, and I was pretty much hooked.  So thanks, Bill.

Really though, I don't think it was too much of a stretch to get back into it- the love was not buried in an unmarked grave, and so rekindling it from its hibernation was surprisingly simple.  Indeed, as I wrote in my basketball eulogy-
Basketball has this beautiful cadence about it. The bouncing of the ball against the hard wood floor. The squeak of the tennis shoes. The swish of the net. And the eloquence of the motion- a crossover dribble, a behind the back pass, three pointers from the corner, a sweet pick-and-roll.

I think more than any other sport, basketball is woven into my DNA, and as much as I may try to, I'll never be completely rid of my need for it.  It's like my own Ring of Power.  Purchasing NBA 2k11 (probably the most realistic sports simulation EVER) pretty much sealed the deal- between Grantland.com and my PS3, I'll be able to maintain my basketball crush indefinitely.


Last nights Boston-Miami showdown also reinforced basketball as my sport du jour.  And as unlikely as this may seem, LeBron James was the main protagonist.  Not in a 'hahaha FAIL' way either- but by putting on a masterpiece of a performance in last nights Game 6 win against the Boston Celtics.  I've never been a LeBron fan- in fact, I previously wrote this about the social enigma:
He's not the first (or only) athlete to think and act like he's bigger than the game...but gosh darn it does he annoy me. The whole macho-angry-scowl thing, the talcum powder toss, the Decision, the complaining during his rookie year when he wasn't named to the all-star team- it's ridiculous.


I suppose I'll always be a "hater", but I can also see that James is far and away the best player of this generation.  Still, even with all of his accomplishments and accolades and statistical feats, I had never ever EVER seen anything from him (or any other player for that matter) like I witnessed last night.  Mind=blown.

The stat line is certainly impressive- 45 points on 19-26 shooting (2-4 from beyond the arc), 15 rebounds, 5 assists, played the first 45 minutes straight- and the historical context makes it even more so- elimination game, on the road, against his previous personal dementor, the Celtics...but did you see it?  LeBron was locked in like I've never seen him locked in before.  The macho-act was gone, replaced by a stone-cold stoicism more often seen in the greatest killer the world has ever known.

Although with those wrist blades, I'll bet it's really hard to catch a bounce pass

And without having to actively repress the gag impulses from James' tough guy act, I was able to appreciate his full arsenal of offensive prowess.  Dunks, lay-ups, catch-and-shoot jumpers, leaners, fade-aways, circus shots.  Every trick in the bag was money last night.  Every basketball player has those days when they're feeling it- where everything you throw up just seems to go in- it's just that most of us have those days in front of the white brick walls of our local community center gymnasium and not thousands of fans at TD Garden with the fate of our season in the balance.  James just kept hitting shot after off-balanced shot, while the Celtics were helplessly throwing up their hands and arms in order to squelch the fire.  On a pair of possessions in the second quarter, James drew shooting fouls on jump shots because the Celtics were literally throwing themselves at him in order to slow him down.  Again, it was breathtaking to behold.

And there were some big shots, too.  When I started watching the game, Boston was down 22-12, and that's pretty much where they stayed until the end- always hanging around that 8-12 point deficit, always threatening to make a move but never quite getting there- because of LeBron James.  Whenever Boston started to put a couple buckets and stops together, James would come down and make some dagger shot Miami would go on another mini-run.  It was unreal. 

I will never be a Heat fan because of this (I'm confident that unless you're a Miami homer, you won't be either after you watch the video) but I am a fan of beauty, and the way LeBron James played last night was so logically beautiful, so unemotionally brilliant, that I not only have to tip my hat to him, but I have to say I really enjoyed watching him play.  Rather, I got to see LeBron the basketball player play last night, and that is so much more awesome than watching LeBron the showman or LeBron the global icon.

I still don't think I'll ever "root" for LeBron, but I have gained a new appreciation for him as a competitor and someone who takes his craft (and not just himself) seriously.  Congratulations LeBron- you've earned all the praise that comes your way for that performance.

But enough about my anti-crush.  Let's talk Rajon Rondo.  Last night was my first time seeing him play and I have to say I was quite impressed by him as well.  Since I've only missed the bandwagon by about five years, I won't be covering anything that hasn't been covered before- but still, the dude is one heck of a floor general.  He plays hard and seems to have total command of what's going on in the game at both ends of the floor.  If James hadn't been in Seek-and-destroy mode, Rondo would have been the most phenomenal dude on the court.

He's an amazing passer- both in his understanding of angles and his execution of simple plays.  Yes, he had 7 turnovers last night, but he made at least that many plays that made me say "wow"- either for their degree of difficulty or the ease of their simplicity.  I loved how, after the Heat made a free throw (or any stoppage of play, really), he'd let the ball slowly roll up the court before touching it, giving the Celtics a fuller 24 second clock for their halfcourt offense as well as extending the game.  I've always wondered why most teams wait until the end of close games before implementing such a strategy.  After witnessing Rondo pull it off a handful of times, I'm convinced it's one of the smartest things you could ever do.

I think what impressed most about Rondo was his ability to convert a dribble immediately into a pass.  Many basketball players can do this, but Rondo did this so seamlessly that it seemed like he must have the ball on a string. 

And besides, he possibly has the coolest athlete name ever.  Rajon has a very majestic-yet-silky texture that just sort of massages your tongue as it rolls over it, and his last name is even cooler:

Welcome back, basketball- I sure have missed you.

PICS- Ezio- http://www.cosplayisland.co.uk/files/costumes/1671/54204/Ezio-Auditore-de-Firenze--Assassins-Creed-2-psd27127.png
Rambo- http://moviecarpet.com/iwave/images/14/o-rambo-5-will-be-his-last-stand-all-unforgiven-style.jpg

Still alive, mostly

Hello world,

I don't really have anything to say right now.  It's just that time of year, when I go for a long spell without any communication and then all of a sudden *POOF* into existence again to give you your quarterly fix of Jason Parks.

I realize I'm way behind on things- my Fantasy Football wrap up still is waiting in the wings.  Unfortunately I have no real time table for them- creatively I'm running on the fumes of 2010 here, so I can't promise when I might be so inspired as to deliver my usual Grade-A-wesomeness in literary form. 

Life has been ridiculously busy.  I'm basically working 7 days a week- which for you math majors out there means that yes, I am working every single day.  I have periodic days off at the school (thanks God for those snow days a few weeks ago), but I'll have a consistently full schedule until the summer.  While that will be good for our bank account, it won't be as good for my blog account.  Of course, that's what the world cares about.  Right?

Honestly, today is the first time I've thought about my blog in a couple weeks.  So I suppose that me writing this is perhaps a step in a positive direction towards reconnecting with myself in the arena of words.  Or maybe I just had a spark of inspiration that will just as quickly fizzle into nothingness.  Stay tuned!

Lately I've been watching professional wrestling, which is good for the soul.  It makes me feel like a man to watch muscled dudes confront other muscled dudes and wear tiny clothing and jump around and beat each other up.  I'm pretty sure my testosterone levels have gone through the roof.  One really cool thing that's come out of my newest craze is the wrestling video game I bought has enabled me to connect with my kids.

Yes, you read that correctly.  A wrestling video game has deepened the parent-child bond in the Parks household.

See, I downloaded some previously created wrestlers that you might have heard of- Incredible Hulk.  Thor.  Spider-man.  Superman.  Captain America.  Batman.  No, they aren't wrestlers in the traditional sense.  But someone made them for a wrestling game, and I downloaded them, and now I have tons of fun watching Royal Rumbles involving the Avengers.  How cool is that!  Plus, I give them all custom theme songs that my kids are growing attached to.  Do you know how deeply it warms my heart to have my children request that we listen to 'Walk' by Pantera in the car before school?

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU KNOW (sorry.  Channeling my inner The Rock there). 

Anyways, that's what I've been up to.  Work and wrestling.  As time frees up, interests will vary and I'll begin writing again in earnest.  I anxiously await your waiting with bated breath.

Love you all!

Penn State and video games

This is going to sound extremely trivial, so you're going to have to bear (bare?  Gosh, I can never get this right!) with me for a bit- NCAA Football 11 for the PS3 drove home the magnitude of the Penn State sexual abuse/cover up scandal.

I don't mean this to belittle the severity of what happened or the pain of those whose lives have forever been shattered.  I just merely wish to point out that in the complexity of the human brain, we can still find surprises in the every day, mundane things.  In this instance, I spent several hours this past week reading articles about Jerry Sandusky and Penn State University and it took EA Sports and a year-old PS3 title for me to really process this historically awful event. 

Let me break it down.

Earlier this afternoon I was playing NCAA Football 11 while I try to get Shane to JUST FREAKING FALL ASLEEP ALREADY OH MY GOSH!!!!  Seriously he was not feeling well so I was doing whatever I could to get him to get bored and fall asleep.  Like a good dad should, right?  Anyways, what could be more boring than watching your dad relive his imaginary glory years than by quarterbacking a pretend school on a 27 inch television?

And ordinarily, you'd be right.

So I turned it on, started playing innocen...OH COME ON REF- THAT HOLD HAD NO RELEVANCE TO THE PLAY- GAH ALL THE COMPUTER DOES IS FRICKING CHEAT!!!!!  And that's when I started to realize what this whole Penn State fiasco means for football.

I don't mean that statement in a manner that belittles the sufferings of sexual abuse victims.  I spent about four years at a non-profit agency working with kids who had been abused and neglected.  So I have a slight idea, a limited understanding of what sexual abuse means to those kids.  It's probably the ugliest thing that can happen in our society nowadays.  So in the grand scheme, it really doesn't matter what it means to football.

But looking at college football as a separate entity...OH MY GOODNESS- how does this happen?  I know that sports are not immune to this sort of vile crime, and that I'm prone to thinking through my idiot lens.  But college football people don't do this.  College football people take steroids, and pay athletes under the table, and practice more than they're supposed to, and sell their swag for tattoos, and help their athletes stay eligible by cheating in the classroom.  College football people don't sexually abuse children.  They don't ruin innocence.  Yes, yes, I'm generalizing and type casting- but that's the college football image that has been cultivated in my mind over years and years of exposure.  Sure, we break the rules...but nobody really gets hurt.  They can't say that anymore.


The fact that it's Penn State just adds to the layer of shock.  Maybe it's just all the articles I've read in the past couple of days from Penn State alums talking about how great Penn State is/was...but this is probably the last institution I ever would have thought I'd hear that this sort of thing had happened at.  Maybe it's the boring uniforms or the lack of offseason shenanigans or the Coke-bottle glasses-wearing coach- the truth is I just never really thought about Penn State at all, which in our culture of Falling-Star worship is pretty much the highest praise I can give to an institution.  They excelled on the football field, but they kept their profile out of the tabloids.  You can't say that anymore.
And it took an afternoon playing a football video game for me to really get ahold of the concept that the Penn State scandal is not just about the loss of innocence for those 8 victims- it's about the loss of innocence for an entire sport.  Sexual abuse is no longer just something that that faceless villains to do innocent kids in nameless towns all over the world.  It's something that can happen anywhere.  Anywhere.  Even in college football, a place that I always thought was safe from that sort of thing.

Of course, having worked with a subset of the population that it has happened to, I knew this.  It's probably my biggest fear as a parent is that somewhere in the system, someone that we trust our children's lives with will brutally and shamefully violate that trust and leave our children with the most horrible and painful scars imaginable.  But I suppress it, largely because if you have that level of distrust of every person working in the system all the time- you turn into a paranoid schizophrenic. 

Still though...the lesson now is that as a parent, there is a need for some hypervigilance.  Those we used to write blank trust checks for are now the ones that we will take the closest look at.  By all accounts, Jerry Sandusky was a saint.  Now it appears he was merely a wolf dressed as a sheep.  And his alleged actions (and the actions of those like him) have made wearing wool the latest fashion faux pas. 

Today, I officially laid to rest college football's aura of innocence.  I don't grieve for the sport- rather, I grieve for those who have been hurt because of my (and those like me) obsession with it.  The culture of invincibility that we have worshipped at for countless Saturdays has been exposed as just another big business venture willing to do whatever to whoever in the name of self-interest.  That said, I will try to keep perspective in the weeks and months ahead and not just assume the worst of every coach, coordinator, and player I see. 

I just won't think they're Mr. Rogers, either. 

PIC- http://www.nickjr.com/flex_article/assets/wallpaper/dora-school-wallpaper/dora-school-wallpaper-standard.jpg

The problem with polls

You want to know how cool I am?  I'm about to singlehandedly lead the Air Force Falcons to an NCAA Football Bowl Subdivision championship.

On the PS3.  Boo-yah!

Before you drag the mouse up to that little X next to the tab you're reading this on, I ask you to just hang with me for a second.  There's actual substance to this post, and I will get to it fairly quickly.  But in order to get to the meat, you first have to chow down the airy, spun sugar/like substance that is the backdrop of my story.

I'm playing a dynasty on NCAA Football 11 as the Air Force Falcons.  I've always had this mythical interest in the football programs of the service academies.  I think this is because there is nothing quite as manly as the idea of playing football at a military institution combined with that fact that military institutions generally make use of the Option offense (my absolute favorite football offensive system).

Anyways, so I'm playing as Air Force.  Obviously I needed to be on the team- that's the whole reason why dorks like me play sports games.  Right?  So I created myself as a dynamic, dual-threat quarterback (a lot like real life, without the 'dynamic' or the 'dual-threat'.  Or even the 'quarterback') and started plowing through Conference USA (I know Air Force is currently in the Mountain West- but I just had to find a league that played a conference championship game so I could have that extra game's worth of stats) like I was a warm knife and the Tulsas and Houstons were melted butter.

My latest season started off with a 21 point win over a #6 Florida Gators squad- on the road.  I shouldn't brag, but I was impressed.  After all, Lee Corso and Kirk Herbstreit had both predicted Florida to win.  Boy I showed them.  I played on Varsity level and everything!

The very next week, I skyrocketed up to #19 in the polls.  Where was I the week before- I don't know.  Limbo, oblivion, Dante's inferno- it really doesn't matter.  The fact is that now I'm #19.  Scratch that- #15 after I creamed Army last week by 20 (who is the civy now, huh?).

I'm really close to actual real-life application, so if you've made it this far, you are about to be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams (which probably says more about the state of your dreams than it does about my writing).  I was looking at the rest of my schedule, and I realized that at the rate I'm going, I will probably be playing for a National Championship at season's end.  I'm in the top 15 in week 3- I'm basically already sitting at the cool table!  Most of my games will be conference games (in a weak conference), with a trip to Mississippi State (hardly a Florida-level challenge) and a conference championship game that will give me an extra week to move up in the polls.  BCS, here we come!

And so naturally I then started thinking about the problem with polls- because this is how my mind works.  I don't question it anymore, I just roll with it.  Mostly I was thinking about college football polls (which I've talked about in the past), but it's no stretch to apply that to other polls as well.  Particularly since we're currently in the middle of a GOP Presidential candidate orgy. 

The use of polls to determine the national championship is, I believe, an inherently flawed strategy. I feel like it gives artificial favor to the teams that are ranked in the preseason polls as well as teams from BCS conferences.  This is because, unless you have a colossal faceplant to start the season, or multiple losses throughout the season, the chances are pretty good that you are going to be in a strong position to remain ranked in the top 25 throughout the season.  And if you are in a BCS conference, you have a greater chance of being ranked in the first place (and less of a chance of falling out of the top 25 should you lose a game).

This is no mere academic issue, either.  Being ranked brings prestige with it.  You get nice little write-ups in the beginning of college football preview mags.  Your scores come first on ESPN's homepage.  The byproduct of the increased attention gets you more love and attention from the top recruits, which means you're more likely to continue to have good football teams in the future, which means you'll be ranked in the top 25, which means that....you see where this leads, don't you?  A self-sustaining cycle of artificially enhanced dominance.  And what does that dominance get you?

MONEY.  The better your team, the more money that gets brought into the school.  So obviously there is a great deal of interest in maintaining the status quo, which is that certain programs are granted the advantage of being ranked before actually playing a single game.  This serves usually to keep the money inside the big BCS conference super-circle while leaving the teams like TCU and Boise State on the outside looking in.

Let me show you a little bit how the BCS schools get favored in this system.  First of all, a majority of preseason ranked schools come from the six BCS conferences (Big 10+2, Pac-whateveritisnow, Big not-really-12, used-to-be-Big East, ACC, $EC).  A fairly large proportion of BCS conference teams schedule very winnable games in the early season.  Sure, there's always early-season high-profile showdowns, such as Oregon versus LSU, but most of the time they schedule cream-puffs.  The kind that E. Gordon Gee eats for breakfast. 

So by the time the average conference season starts, a team that started the season ranked highly is already going to have 3-4 wins under their belt, and if they're in a BCS conference, they're going to be playing against other ranked teams whose rankings are most likely reinforced by a series of wins against inferior competition (not always, but more often than not).  So then a ranked team beats another ranked team which enhances its artificially bestowed status (or a non-ranked conference team boosts their status because they beat a ranked team)- even though we don't actually know whether or not the ranked team is actually any good yet.  Does this make sense?  Am I taking crazy pills?

Sure, there are guidelines to help make sure that the voters are remaining as objective as possible.  But come on.  There is a subjective human element here that makes this whole thing stink.  Ask 1994 Penn State about their level of confidence in voter judgment. 
I read an article done by a guy that seems to know more about statistics than I do, and he came to the conclusion that preseason polls do matter (although not as much as we might think).  Using a complex formula, he deteremined the difference typically comes down to around 1 poll spot.  Even though most of the time 1 poll spot is inconsequential, it can also be absolutely devestating.  1 poll spot seperates #3 from #2, and only #2 gets to play against #1 for crystal football. 

Note- this is not the BCS trophy.  It's a warning to those that think SafeSearch is truly safe.  Or search.



T IS FOR TROPHY, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.  NOM NOM NOM NOM

Ask 2004 Auburn about how they feel about 1 poll spot. 
Sometimes teams win and lose ground in the polls, for sure- sometimes you just don't win that impressively or someone else leapfrogs you because they ran up the score notched a huge win.  But these are the exception and not the rule.  Most of the time you move up (or at least hold steady) if you win. 

So how does tie into politics?  Simple- polls influence the headlines, which in turn influences how most people perceive or feel about candidates (or at least the perception of how people perceive or feel about candidates.  Man my head is spinning!).  And the candidates respond accordingly.  Don't believe me?  Look at the action, and how much of it is dictated by polls.  It's like candidates are not even addressing ideas anymore- they're defending their rank.  They're on constant campaign mode, always trying to make their case to be #1.

The obvious problem with this is that our focus as voters can become about things like debate performance instead of policy content.  We start to pay less attention to what Herman Cain's "9-9-9" plan consists of and more time about how he sells/defends his image.  And then we have the audacity to get upset when we find out that the people in office are not as compentant as we thought they were based on the performances that we asked for.

So what's the moral of this story?  Obviously I'm telling you to do everything you can to artificially enhance yourself.  Whether that means that you schedule easy wins for your football team, become a charismatic public speaker, or make your speed rating a '95' (even though in reality it's more like '65')- just do what you have to do.  Because in today's society, it's where you start that determines where you finish.

PICS- Golf trophy- http://www.blackshoediaries.com/2010/4/11/1415660/jumble-in-the-rumble
Chris Leak- http://s3.amazonaws.com/collegeotr/images/blogs/9aa2c206e2ff225abedfaf9f6f414b2f.jpg