Anatomy of a song: This Fire Burns

Just a heads up, I'm going to start this off with something that doesn't really pertain to what I want to talk about AND doesn't even really tie in at the end.  But since I can't think of a different way to start, you're stuck.  Sorry.  You get what you pay for.

Last year, I flirted with re-becoming a wrestling fan.  Like most things I attempt, I failed.  Miserably.  While I still follow it through internet updates, I haven't really watched it in a couple of months.  Mostly because it was hard to commit a three-hour chunk of time on Monday nights, partly because the storylines were really terrible.  But during that time, I was introduced to CM Punk, and my life is definitely better because of it.  This post isn't about that, though- it's about Punks' entrance at Money in the Bank 2011, which has quite possibly changed my life forever.

Pretty powerful statement, I realize- let me just say that it's more about his entrance song being the life changer with overall entrance functioning as more of a conduit.  There- now it doesn't sound so ridiculous.  Anyways, back to the entrance.  Punk comes out after this whole crazy summer storyline where he's going to leave the WWE and wants to take the championship with him.  Whatevs.  They made a really cool promo video for it, which caught me up to speed and sort of got me excited.  The Pay-per-view took place in Chicago, which is apparently CM Punks "hometown".  Aside: I'm a little skeptical about everything in wrestling- like, is it really his hometown?  Would anybody in the arena known it was his hometown unless the WWE announcers told us?  Maybe he's not really from Chicago.  Maybe he's just from Aurora. 

And wow, I'm really getting off track.  The point is that the atmosphere was wonderfully electric- one of the most electric I've ever seen.  Over 14,000 people in attendance, most of them chanting Punks name in anticipation of his entrance (BTW, the WWE has the science of the entrance down pat.  The repetition which rewards our expectations and heightens our excitement and connection to the wrestler- WWE may be many things, but brilliant is one of them)- and then I hear it, for the first time- the searing guitar intro, the 32nd notes, the dancing riff, the dramatic breath before the chorus...and months after the fact, I am transported ringside, rooting against the evil McMahon empire and pledging allegiance to the Straightedge Society. 

I pretty much went right out and downloaded the song immediately, and over the past few months it has really been an important coping mechanism for me.  My goal for this post (and hopefully in the future for different songs) is sort of break down the song and what I like about it.  While I'm no Simon Cowell, I do hope that my years of experience as a drummer combined with my one semester of Music in Society and all those times my dad played in bars on the weekend when I was a kid will help me to not make a complete a** of myself.  Really though, all musical knowledge contained in this post is compliments of my wife.  Who is awesome.

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage (with bonus Titantron)

Eh?  EH?  Effing awesome, right?

Clearly this song is all about the chorus.  Not that the verses/bridge are bad necessarily- indeed, they're adequate and there's definitely some nice things going on- the screaming intro (excellent drawing out of the "YEAH"), a nice chunky guitar riff/pounding drum combo, the varied screaming (moving very nicely from the bark to the guttural whine).  Lyrically though, it doesn't blow me away- destiny blah fulfilled blah in my hands whoopdy proving ground darn do.  In fact, if I didn't like the vocalist so much, I'd probably be tempted to just skip (or "fast forward" if you're using a 'tape' player) right to the chorus.

Because it's so freaking awesome. 

The verses are like stockings on Christmas morning, and the chorus is the biggest present under the tree.  I've had some really great stockings.  ITunes gift cards, candy, Burt's Bees- stockings are definitely an underrated part of Christmas and you totally want what's inside of them.  But you pretty much power through them because you're really just there for all that swag under the tree.  And that's what this chorus is, a big ol box of Official-Red-Ryder-Carbine-Action-Two-Hundred-Shot-Range-Model-Air-Rifle-Turbo-Man-Jelly-of-the-Month-club Christmas swag.

Still, you obviously can't open the biggest present first- otherwise Christmas would be a huge letdown.  So you get some other gifts to sort of build the anticipation.  Socks, underwear, notepads, a gun rack...

For the record, I've now given you a picture and video clip from Wayne's World.  You're welcome. 

Back to the point, the smaller gift from Killswitch Engage is that hauntingly beautiful arpeggiated chord right before the chorus, which as I alluded to before is this really dramatic moment- it's like you're hanging there right on the edge of a precipitous drop off and you have no idea what's going to happen- you just know it's going to rock your freaking socks off.

And then BAM- it totally does.

This is, hands down, one of my top five favorite choruses of all time.  Easily.  Mostly because of how the words, melody, and instrumentation all work together to create this very powerful musical moment that resonates deeply inside of me. One of the reasons that music is absolutely essential to the human experience is it allows us to experience things in much more tangible, powerful ways than mere words can.  For instance, here are the words to the chorus of "This Fire Burns":

Even through the darkest days

This fire burns always x2

On paper, in black and white, they're pretty meh, actually.  I can't really grab onto them- they aren't saying anything to me.  It's not a very interesting rhyme.  Yawn.  Next.  

But when you hear them through Howard Jones dancing around the very edge of his vocal range (it feels like it, anyways), along side the clean guitar picking over top of the dirty slough, to the chromatic movement of a melody tensely building a mood of despair and angst while the driving drums, words, and melody resolution promote a sense of hope...you can't help but be taken to a place where you feel like you can take on whatever challenges and hard times that come your way.  It's the Growing Pains theme song on steroids.

Life has been hard for awhile.  I know that in context of the whole of humanity I have it pretty darn good- but just because you can be thankful doesn't mean you can smile, and my life has had more despair and hopelessness than I ever thought it would.  This chorus is like a proudly-waved middle finger to the things that would keep us held down, a poignant reminder that we are here now, and that while life is rough and none of us make it out alive, we each have it inside of us to move forward, to live, to survive, to say that no matter what happens, I will wake up this morning, hold tightly to those I hold most dear, and put on my a**-kicking boots and get ready to do this thing we call existing.

If you didn't get the chills while reading what I just wrote, please go back and read it again while you're blasting the chorus to "This Fire Burns". 

That's it for this edition of Anatomy Of A Song.  Tune in some future time where I'll likely discuss some other song and how it has impacted me...or something. 

PIC- http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/22616252.jpg

From the archives: Maybe YOU'LL think next time before you write a song about destruction of property

Note: I realize this song has been out for over five years, but I heard it on the radio this morning and realized I had never shared my thoughts about it with the world.  So, um, here they are.  In make-believe form.

To: Carrie Underwood
RE: Before He Cheats

Dear Carrie,

Recently the production team at Arista Nashville flagged one of your songs ( 'Before he cheats' ) and brought it to my attention.  As your legal advisor, I have to tell you that I have reviewed the song and my legal advice for you is: DO NOT RELEASE IT.

I acknowledge that this may not be easy for you to hear.  Let me just say that I can understand the pain of being in a relationship where one person is unfaithful.  I've watched a lot of soap operas.  TONS.  But this isn't about me.  It's about you and your broken heart.  It's about empty promises and shattered trust, and your feelings of helplessness and lack of recourse.

But more than that, it's about WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?????  ARE YOU INSANE???  Maybe he'll think next time he cheats?  How about 'Maybe I'll think next time I decide to engage in blatantly criminal actions'.  Because right now, the only person who needs a preventative prompt for their behavior is you. 

You see, Carrie, (and this is sort of huge)...we still don't know for sure that he cheated! All we have as evidence is your declaration of jilted feelings! Is there more to the story here? Did he come home late from work one night? Did you see a mysterious number on the caller ID? Did he buy you $4 diamond million ring out of the blue?  What are we going on here?  Where's your smoking gun?

It seems that your whole premise is based on some loose theories and conjectures.  Let me tell you what we know for sure: He's "probably" slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp (nothing wrong with being a bleached blond tramp, by the way), she's "probably" getting frisky,  RIGHT NOW he's "probably" buying her some fruity little drink.  Have you ever seen Law and Order?  None of this is admissible as evidence.  As my good friend Yoda would say, "A case have not, you do".

I'm not trying to say he didn't cheat.  You don't strike me as the type of lady who would lie to millions of country music fans.  It's just...well, this really feels like a preemptive blow.  Like you're a freaking sociopath or something.  Honestly, from all that you've given us to go on, I imagine this guy is probably just too good to be true and you've been hurt before and so rather than wait around to get hurt again, you push him away...by jacking up his SUV and then cashing in your 'jilted lover' story to make a quick buck. 

Carrie, you're obviously very beautiful and very talented- but if I have to explain to you why you don't accuse someone of doing something they haven't done, vandalize the crap out of their car, and then sing about it on the radio...well, we might be looking at the end of your music career.  Or music immortality, I still haven't figured out how you can tell the difference. 

Maybe in the future you should try open and honest communication (or communication of any kind).  Maybe try journaling or find some professional help.  Because it seems like this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding.  I'll bet if he came home late, it's because he had to, you know, work late.  And the mysterious number was likely just a creditor calling because he just wrecked his credit by buying you a $4 million diamond ring.   

Regardless, it shouldn't take him too long to figure out who did this- you did carve your name into the seat and then write a song about it.  Unless he is a moron, in which case I can refer you to a dating adviser.  

In the future, I think you should try to write more songs about Jesus and His driving skills.  THAT song gave me warm fuzzies.  And hey kid, try to lighten up.  At least your ex wasn't some overrated playoff choking quarterback or something. 

Because I totally could have got behind that misdemeanor.

Reluctantly preparing for your legal defense,

Name Withheld



Pic- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Romo

A time to join, a time to step away

Yes, the rumors are true. Wait, what's that? There's no rumors? Oh. Well then. That was awkward.

I guess I should just jump right in, then. Next month, I'll be stepping down from the worship team. (waits to finish until the probe droids return with care-o-meter readings)
Nobody cares. Okay, we're clear to proceed!

In the grand scheme of things, this is not all that relevant. The only reason I'm devoting a blog post to it is because not all that long ago, I wrote must-read prose about musical excellence in worship, and the lack of exclusivity between those two ideas.

Funny enough, it was soon after that where I realized that I wasn't living up to my end of the bargain. Sure, I played well enough. My technique was decent, and I was focusing on the Lord. But I realized that I wasn't really pursuing excellence. I never practiced outside of our worship band practices. I just came, put on my "I've played drums for like ten years, so I'll rest on those laurels", and went to town. And it seemed to be going fine. Felt good. Had fun. Lots of positive feedback.

A couple weeks ago, though, I just hit a wall. I played both services during the weekend and I might as well have been scraping gum off of chairs or uprooting dandelions. There was nothing. No connection. No feeling. And for a guy who tends to feed off of the emotional charge of the music, this was a big deal. It was like learning to walk while being blind at the same time.

I played a few more times after that, and it was the same thing. Playing music had become, for the first time in years, a chore. It wasn't coming easy. It was painful.

So I decided to quit the worship band.

Actually, it wasn't quite that simple. There were talks with Sara. Prayers. Contemplation. Maybe a ritualistic animal sacrifice or two. Actually, no animals were harmed in the making of this decision.

In the end, there were a few factors that played into my choice to step away from the (drum) throne.

1. A personal reason that I will not reveal. So don't ask.
2. The aforementioned inability (and really, lack of desire) to pursue my craft in a manner that I felt was befitting of a musician for the King of Heaven.
3. A new job that will have me working weekends.

Actually, that last reason happened after I had made the decision, and really just serves to give me a layman's justification for my action. Since making the decision solid and contacting the leader of the worship program at my church, I have felt at peace with my decision.

Will I miss it? I'm sure I will. I've played for over ten years, and have had lots of amazing experiences and great times. I've met wonderful people and shared much joy with them. In the end, I think that's the part I'll miss the most. The connection between fellow musicians, worshipers, and human beings. In the end though, the thought of missing something is not enough of a compelling reason for me to keep doing something that I feel I need to step away from.

Will I go back? I don't want to say never. I do enjoy playing drums, especially in the worship setting. But right now, I feel like my passions are different. My desires are changing. My focus, shifting. I'm walking into a new season of life, and as often is the case when there changes, there are things that stay on and things that fall off. Right now, music is not making the trip with me.

Pic- http://www.lofnz.com/care-bears/images/carebears-grumpys.jpeg

Hymns and hers

Okay, so this is a little off script, but lets go with it, shall we? I was going to do my next post about some thoughts I've been having about God and humanity...and I will do them still. But first, I need to remind myself why I believe in God. Sometimes it's difficult to see Him in the everyday, mundane changing-diapers-doing-dishes-schoolwork-sleep routine that is life. But this story speaks to me of a loving God who is very involved in details.

Now, some might read this story, and chalk it up to coincidence. Some might be able to provide psychoanalysis, and others might do some other third thing. But as for me, I think that the real Big Papi has His prints all over this.

This is a story of my musical journey...or a song about my musical journey, if you should so choose...except in song form, it will probably end up being as long as 'American Pie'.

Tragically, the autopsy revealed that the music would not have died had Don McLean not dragged it on for so long. A steady diet of whiskey and rye by the 'good ol' boys' didn't help matters.

Let's start back a little ways...when I was growing up, my dad played many weekends in local establishments, so I've always had some exposure to music. As a kid, I wanted to be a musician as well...I think it's natural for kids to want to be like their parents. In fact, I remember making up a song once, and then hearing that song on the radio later! I think I may have heard the song earlier, and then subconsciously credited myself as the author...or else this band sent people to spy on me and steal my awesome work. Unfortunately, we can never know for sure.

My dad is an amazing musician...one of those guys that can play guitar, bass, drums, harmonica, and free cell (not all at the same time, although that would be amazing also). I felt I could never measure up. I resisted any of his efforts to teach me, and I found myself embarrassed by my fledling efforts to even try. So basically, I just kinda let that die in me. I was in school band, and that was fun, but even then, I never really immersed myself in it. I was content just to get by. After high school, I kissed music goodbye, and set out on my voyage to...

Well, I didn't really have much of a plan. I just knew that it was not going to be a musical one. I guess I can't even say that...music was so far off the radar that it didn't even register as an option to not be an option. A couple years into college, though, I came into awareness of God, and my place within the cosmos. So now it's a clean, blank slate. The summer of 1999 (maybe a little before that, I don't do well with dates-that's what she said OOOOOHHHHHHH) I was placed into a relationship with music. The drummer at our church was leaving in the fall to go to college in Texas, and since we had been in band together in high school, I became the default option.

Now understand, I had never really played on a drum kit before. I had tried, sure, but I had never really done much with it. The most I could really do was play the intro to the song 'Wherever I may roam' by Metallica, and that was by myself with no one around. Needless to say, I struggled mightily in the beginning...I couldn't even keep a beat! I remember getting frustrated at the first practice, because I just couldn't keep up.

I'm not going to lie and say that the next day I woke up endowed with magical powers. I'm not even going to say that I had nothing to do with it. I'm sure that any dilligence (which is not as much as I'd like it to be, ashamedly) has played a role. But you're missing the point if that's what you're thinking about. This is the birth of vision, of passion, of something that I suddenly found enjoyable to do, something that had been previously dead to me.

For the sake of not killing the music or drying up the levy, I'll cut a few years out. Just know that I started to feel like God had music for me in the future. When I married Sara, this vision was solidified. Sara is AMAZING...she has a voice like an angel (with the wings to boot), and can play piano and violin. So we've really felt for a while like God has wanted us to do music.

Ahead another couple years. At Water's Edge church, I was really taken through a series of levels in my journey as a worshipping musician. I'm not going to go through these in depth like I'd wanted to, but I'll summarize them. But do know this, that at the beginning of each school year, for the past two years, I've been placed on a worship team other than what I'd wanted, and in turn I've been blessed with growth beyond my own imaginings. First, I learned that you can worship in musical technical excellence. I learned this from Rob, who teaches music at NMU and is the embodyment of musical knowledge. From Brent, I learned to start to be able to cut loose, and rock out, applying musical dynamics to the tune of the Spirit. I never really got to do that at my old church, we always played more reserved. And that brings us to now.

Charlie, who is an awesome man and one of the leaders at our church, came to our worship practice one night, and basically told us to push ourselves as musicians, to try things we've never tried before, and to not be afraid to fail. Now, what I just wrote is a paraphrase, but I can't even begin to summarize the impact that his words had for me. All my life, I'd been operating under this idea that in order to play for the Lord, that we needed to hold back...I've even been told this at one point. I always felt upset by this...I felt like I wasn't really able to worship, because I had to focus on sounding not fancy or not loud.

Then Charlie comes in, and says basically, 'be awesome for God'...and since then, it's been amazing! I've been trying new things, the worship band I'm in has been doing that as well, and together, we are starting to take our music to new levels. This has been way cool, and it's hard to imagine that at one time, I didn't even want to play drums!

There is an 'also going on' also going on, though. More background- I love rock music, have since high school, and ever since I've started to play drums, I wanted to be in a rock band. Several years ago, I had a couple garage band ventures with buddys that never got out of the garage (although one group was immortalized via Crappy Garage Recording, earning the timeless compliment from my dad 'Not all your songs sound the same').

So I had pretty much given that up, I wasn't even thinking about it at all. Then, lo and behold, earlier this semester I get the opportunity to play Beets songs in the NMU homecoming parade with some dudes from church. We rock, and take first place in our division. One of the most fun experiences of my musical life. Still, an afternoon of fun, and file it away...

Can't see the line, can you Russ?

Late October, the apartment complex I'm in does this little impromptu type music thing, Lincoln Rocks. So Matt, a friend from church and leader of the Beets, asks me to fill in on drums for this thing...again, music is on life support, so I'm cutting this story short. Long story short, I'm in this rock band that's awesome, we're making songs, and we're going to be recording those songs in December!

Now, I'm not saying that we're famous, or even going to be famous. We haven't made it, we've only played one gig. For all I know we might not go anywhere or do anything. But it's a rock band, and I'm playing in it. I'm happy. And this semester, Sara and I were just hoping to survive her return to school. Pursuing music was the furthest thing from our minds. In the midst of it all, God has been stirring our musical gifts and passions. Maybe it's because Sara is in the music program, and all this is subconscious desires and abilities brought to the surface by the change in our lives and routine. Maybe...

But to me, there are just too many variables for this to be coincidental, or subconscious. This is God, and God is moving in us. I'm not sure where He's taking us, but it's gonna be awesome!

So I wouldn't be grassroots if I didn't plug the band in a music blog. This is us, Baby Cannon. You can check us out at: www.myspace.com/babycannonplaid.

The best band you've never heard of. If you have heard of us, I guarantee we're ranked no lower than 234th.