Concubines for a season

To set the record straight, I'm as monogamous as anyone-probably even more monogamous, actually.  I sure do believe in one love for a lifetime.  Richer/poorer, sickness/health, better/worse- the whole enchilada.  I'm there.  I live it.  It's called my life.  And I totally understand relationships are filled with ups and downs, and you're not always going to love the one you have.  Sometimes you have to trudge through the slop to get to the diamond.  My attitude is 'lets roll up our sleeves and get down to business'.

But admittedly, there are times I just want to get away, spread my wings and have some licentious fun.  You know, just to cut loose, flirt a little, laugh over drinks, and I want to have that with zero sense of responsibility and accountability.  If I can accomplish all that with a family member, it's even better.

Wait, where are you all going?  You thought I was talking about what?  Marriage?  Oh no no no no GOD no.  I am talking about something else entirely.  I mean, sure, it is something that shares some similarities to marriage.  It has just about as much complexity, emotion, and commitment as marriage, but it most definitely is not marriage.

What I'm talking about, of course, is Fantasy Football. 

Let me lay some groundwork here, since it's something I'm clearly excellent at.  For the past two seasons, my main (and only) squeeze has been Center League.  I joined because my dad was in it with some guys that he worked with and they had an opening.  Fun league, even though I suck at it and always want to pull my hair out.  In the 'Give/Take' equation, Center League definitely is on the Take side.

This year, for reasons, my dad is not in Center League.  I was bummed, but I was able to move on fairly quickly because my relationship with Center League transcends the people in it.  Bros before hos- and Fantasy before Family.  Or something like that.

Sunday night, I get a call from my dad about possibly joining a league that he put together just for fun with some peeps.  Very low-key- I mean, the name of the league is Just 4 Fun.  So it has to be low key, right?

Really, it sounds like the perfect league for me- like Match.com doing Fantasy Football leagues on the side.  Our draft is an automatic one, and it takes place at 5:00 a.m. tomorrow morning (to go back to the marital relationship comparison, it would be having an arranged marriage that you don't even have to show up for).  We aren't even drafting individual QBs, we take team QBs.  For example, instead of drafting Peyton Manning, I would draft the Indianapolis Colts QBs.  Actually, scratch that- I wouldn't do anything of the sort, that has already been arranged for me.  The team QB thing would be like going to your arranged  marriage and finding out you are also stuck with all of her sisters.  In that context, I hope I don't get saddled with the Colts QBs.

I know Reggie.  I know.  At least I don't have to see them get undressed.

In some ways, I feel real bad.  I haven't told Center League about this new league yet, largely because I'm afraid that things will get awkward between me and Center League.  But I'm not even sure what this other league is to me yet.  We haven't spent enough time together to really define our relationship.  Is it going to be a Fantasy Football league that could someday lead to a more committed relationship?  Or are we just going to be a one-season stand?  It's far too early to tell, and Center League isn't really someone that you can talk with about this sort of thing.  Or anything, really.

Truth be told, things have been kind of rough with me and Center League the last couple years.  I got bounced in the first round of the playoffs during our first year together-and last year I didn't even make the playoffs.  Guys, you know what I'm talking about.  Relationships can't last if there are long droughts between playoff berths.  I mean, sure, the regular season is fine and dandy- for awhile.  But a man has needs. 

What does this mean for you, my faithful reader?  I don't know yet.  I don't think I'm going to write about my other league, because then the Center League is sure to find out that I've been unfaithful, and I can kiss the playoffs goodbye for a long time.  But I don't want to make it a 'Wam-bam-thank you-Jock-Jams' either.  My new Fantasy Football league has feelings too- even if I'm just using them for selfish, personal gain.

Wait, what are we talking about again?


PIC: http://www.cbssports.com/mcc/blogs/entry/22475988/31607687