For those of you who haven't heard, Sara and I are in the process of trying to get a house. Now, I have to be up front- this post is mostly about God, miracles, and divine intervention. But don't fret, because this whole house thing is going to require divine intervention in the form of a miracle from God. See, we're pretty poor. Strike that- poverty sounds like a good place for us to be. We have food stamps, rental assistance, and Medicaid. And we want to buy a house.
No, we have not gone insane- at least, we don't think so. There is a government program for low-income people who want to buy a house. Now is the time to try- there is a huge tax credit for first time home buyers, low interest rates, declining prices. Of course, people might think that Michigan is not exactly the state to be buying a home in. But I'm a Michigan man, born and raised. And I've come to love the Upper Peninsula.
We've been in our apartment here on campus for over 2 years, and it has served us well. But imagine living in a cubicle with 2 children and you might start to appreciate the reason why we are perpetually stir crazy. So Sara started checking out the housing market to see what was out there. We found some that were nice, nothing really jumped out at us though.
Well then we sat down and typed out a list. We made a list of things we NEEDED, and a list of things that would be nice to have. The very night we made the list, we found a house that shot straight to the top of our heart charts. I won't go into much detail on it now, but suffice it to say that it pretty much nailed every need and want that would qualify as a deal breaker.
Realizing that I tend to write lengthy blog posts and probably lose at least 45-55% of readers before the end, I'll cut to the chase- we weren't sure if we'd be able to swing it, Sara gave the issue over to God, and He said 'I will make it happen'.
Awesome! Of course, the above statement left out a lot of details, which kind of left us a little unsure of the path things would take. Details, details, details...
(sidebar thought) Now some people might think that this is ridiculous. People who don't believe in God buy houses too- so what does this even matter? I think about this with other things too- like music. There are awesome musicians who believe in Jesus...there are awesome musicians who don't. Rain falls on everybody. I don't know what it all means. Maybe it just means God loves everybody.
When we think of miracles, we usually think of stuff that is so amazing, so incredible, that there is no other means of accomplishing it than by divine intervention. For example, an amputee having their missing limb grow back out. Sight restored to the blind. The Lions making the Super Bowl. And those are all miracles, to be sure.
But how about 'real-life' miracles? How about the person who just feels like they had to call you and see how you were doing, on your worst day? How about safe travel? What about having children who are born healthy?
Arrgghh! This post is going to have to be another two parter. Son of a!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Draft thoughts
In addition to being my birthday today, it is also the first day of the NFL draft. Nobody will be blogging about my birthday, although it was tremendous. Everyone and their brother is blogging about the NFL draft. Since I fall into both categories (I am part of everyone, and I am also a brother), I will blog about the NFL draft- specifically about the picks my team, the Detroit Lions, made.
Quick aside- does anyone else miss the days of surprises? As in, when you would watch the draft and not know who was going to be taken first? Or major awards (like the MVP or even the Heisman) would be given away on a certain day, instead of like weeks before that? Seriously, the speed at which the hype machine drives our sports culture is sickening to me. I am tired of hearing about how great so-and-so is, or how this guy is the favorite for the Heisman because he racked up record numbers against a FCS school in August.
You want to know why I don't like Lebron James? Or Tiger Woods? Or Michael Jordan? It's because they are all that we hear/heard about in their respective sports! I'm tired of hearing about how great these guys are- blech! Let's move on!
Actually, this ties in very nicely to the draft. The draft is the perfect demonstration of the mismanagement of hype versus substance, because people start talking about this thing right after the college season is done, and who is the likely top pick, and who is too fat, too slow, too tight-hipped, too many slow-twitch muscle fibers, and anointing Hall of Famers during Pro-day workouts instead of on the field- it's enough to make your head spin and then vomit.
Take the top of the 2006 draft. Everybody was drinking the Reggie Bush kool-aid, and thought that the Houston Texans needed to take Reggie Bush or else they would be making the biggest mistake since the Portland Trailblazers passed on Michael Jordan and drafted Sam Bowie.
The Texans defied conventional logic, and selected Mario Williams, a defensive end from North Carolina State. You couldn't find anyone who defended the pick. Everybody was grilling the Texans for making the stupidest decision in the history of stupid decisions, and everyone was so sure that it was going to come back and bite them square in the ass.
The verdict?
Well, to be fair, three years is not really a fair amount of time to determine whether or not a draft choice is successful or not. However, it is a heck of a lot more fair than trying to determine that same choice on the day that you made it. Our sports culture wants results, wants those results now, and doesn't really care how we get them. I mean, people grade the draft picks for crying out loud. Would you want to work at a job that administered performance reviews on the day you got hired? Didn't think so.
So how does Super Mario compare to Reggie Bush? Well, Bush had arguably a better rookie season- he helped lead the Saints to the NFC championship game, accumulating over 1,500 all-purpose yards and scoring 9 total touchdowns (although I don't believe he scored any touchdowns until week 10- I could be wrong though). Williams managed a meager 4.5 sacks. Slam dunk, right?
Well, I would say a resounding no! Let me just throw some numbers out there- the last two seasons, Williams has totaled 26 sacks and six forced fumbles. He has appeared in the last two Pro Bowls. He was part of a Texans team that went from 6-10 his rookie season to 8-8 the last couple (including 2007, when all the other teams in their division had at least ten wins and made the playoffs). Bush? He has had flashed of brilliance (3 punt return touchdowns last year for example), but has not come close to duplicating those rookie numbers. Teamwise, the Saints went from 10-6 to 7-9 to 8-8.
Now the thing to keep in mind is that people thought Bush was going to be the next Michael Jordan...and he hasn't been terrible. But his numbers? Not worthy of a number 2 pick- the guy has never averaged over 4 yards per carry! This is why I hate hype.
So with that extremely long/yet not really random and actually totally tied-in aside, here are my thoughts on the Detroit Lions draft- at least the first two rounds.
1st round, 1st pick- Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia.
I'm not completely sold on this guy- plus, he's going to get thrown to the wolves, because the same offensive line that could not protect the quarterback and open holes for the running game that we had last year is basically in tact for 2009. Throwing a rookie QB in that situation is a good way to ruin their confidence and their careers, a la David Carr in Houston. Also, what about Drew Stanton? Did he even get a shot? Why didn't he play last year, when it was obvious that we were terrible? That would have been a perfect opportunity to find out whether or not he was any good. By drafting Stafford, we basically threw away a second round pick from a couple years ago (not that all those first round picks on wide receivers weren't thrown away) without even giving him a chance to show his stuff.
To me, Stafford is a sexy choice for the fans. Think about it- we're coming off of an 0-16 year, Detroit's economy is in the shitter, and fans aren't going to line up to buy tickets if we draft a tackle or a linebacker- even if those are areas that we seriously need to address. In my opinion, all this Stafford pick does is buy the Lions a couple seasons of grace from the fans while selling enough tickets to keep the team financially feasible.
1st round, 20th pick- Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
I have mixed feelings about this pick. There is part of me that thinks that a TE is even more of a wasted pick than the QB at number one. A TE? Really? What, there weren't any good punters available? I mean, of all the needs that we have, was TE really one of them? No, seriously, I'm asking- I have no idea if we needed a TE or not.
But there is part of me that thinks that the Lions were trying to send me a birthday present. The TE position basically happened when the football position a mommy WR and a daddy OL got together and had babies. So it's like the Lions were like, 'Jason we hear your cries for help, and we are acknowledging them. See, our TE is half offensive lineman. But we also realize that you have a sense of humor. So he is half wide receiver as well'. I'm a little disconcerted that I hold that much sway in the Lions draft war room- but I appreciate the gesture!
2nd round, 1st pick (33rd overall)- Louis Delmas, S, Western Michigan
What The F-bomb? Seriously? With James the Animal and Rey the Hair still available, we choose a safety? From the MAC? I take it all the elite towel boys were already drafted? This is the point where I officially gave up on the Detroit Lions season and the Schwartz regime. Hopefully day two is more productive.
Hey. Hey you! Draft my son from The Ohio State University, or I will shove my spiked shoulder pad through your face! Or, I will lick your face to death with my large tongue!
I officially declare man-love on Rey Malnutrition..Malcontent...Maladapted....what's his last name again?
Pics
Rey- http://blogs.ajc.com/atlanta-falcons-blog/files/2009/03/rey-maualuga.jpg
Legion of Doom- http://z.hubpages.com/u/324578_f260.jpg
Quick aside- does anyone else miss the days of surprises? As in, when you would watch the draft and not know who was going to be taken first? Or major awards (like the MVP or even the Heisman) would be given away on a certain day, instead of like weeks before that? Seriously, the speed at which the hype machine drives our sports culture is sickening to me. I am tired of hearing about how great so-and-so is, or how this guy is the favorite for the Heisman because he racked up record numbers against a FCS school in August.
You want to know why I don't like Lebron James? Or Tiger Woods? Or Michael Jordan? It's because they are all that we hear/heard about in their respective sports! I'm tired of hearing about how great these guys are- blech! Let's move on!
Actually, this ties in very nicely to the draft. The draft is the perfect demonstration of the mismanagement of hype versus substance, because people start talking about this thing right after the college season is done, and who is the likely top pick, and who is too fat, too slow, too tight-hipped, too many slow-twitch muscle fibers, and anointing Hall of Famers during Pro-day workouts instead of on the field- it's enough to make your head spin and then vomit.
Take the top of the 2006 draft. Everybody was drinking the Reggie Bush kool-aid, and thought that the Houston Texans needed to take Reggie Bush or else they would be making the biggest mistake since the Portland Trailblazers passed on Michael Jordan and drafted Sam Bowie.
The Texans defied conventional logic, and selected Mario Williams, a defensive end from North Carolina State. You couldn't find anyone who defended the pick. Everybody was grilling the Texans for making the stupidest decision in the history of stupid decisions, and everyone was so sure that it was going to come back and bite them square in the ass.
The verdict?
Well, to be fair, three years is not really a fair amount of time to determine whether or not a draft choice is successful or not. However, it is a heck of a lot more fair than trying to determine that same choice on the day that you made it. Our sports culture wants results, wants those results now, and doesn't really care how we get them. I mean, people grade the draft picks for crying out loud. Would you want to work at a job that administered performance reviews on the day you got hired? Didn't think so.
So how does Super Mario compare to Reggie Bush? Well, Bush had arguably a better rookie season- he helped lead the Saints to the NFC championship game, accumulating over 1,500 all-purpose yards and scoring 9 total touchdowns (although I don't believe he scored any touchdowns until week 10- I could be wrong though). Williams managed a meager 4.5 sacks. Slam dunk, right?
Well, I would say a resounding no! Let me just throw some numbers out there- the last two seasons, Williams has totaled 26 sacks and six forced fumbles. He has appeared in the last two Pro Bowls. He was part of a Texans team that went from 6-10 his rookie season to 8-8 the last couple (including 2007, when all the other teams in their division had at least ten wins and made the playoffs). Bush? He has had flashed of brilliance (3 punt return touchdowns last year for example), but has not come close to duplicating those rookie numbers. Teamwise, the Saints went from 10-6 to 7-9 to 8-8.
Now the thing to keep in mind is that people thought Bush was going to be the next Michael Jordan...and he hasn't been terrible. But his numbers? Not worthy of a number 2 pick- the guy has never averaged over 4 yards per carry! This is why I hate hype.
So with that extremely long/yet not really random and actually totally tied-in aside, here are my thoughts on the Detroit Lions draft- at least the first two rounds.
1st round, 1st pick- Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia.
I'm not completely sold on this guy- plus, he's going to get thrown to the wolves, because the same offensive line that could not protect the quarterback and open holes for the running game that we had last year is basically in tact for 2009. Throwing a rookie QB in that situation is a good way to ruin their confidence and their careers, a la David Carr in Houston. Also, what about Drew Stanton? Did he even get a shot? Why didn't he play last year, when it was obvious that we were terrible? That would have been a perfect opportunity to find out whether or not he was any good. By drafting Stafford, we basically threw away a second round pick from a couple years ago (not that all those first round picks on wide receivers weren't thrown away) without even giving him a chance to show his stuff.
To me, Stafford is a sexy choice for the fans. Think about it- we're coming off of an 0-16 year, Detroit's economy is in the shitter, and fans aren't going to line up to buy tickets if we draft a tackle or a linebacker- even if those are areas that we seriously need to address. In my opinion, all this Stafford pick does is buy the Lions a couple seasons of grace from the fans while selling enough tickets to keep the team financially feasible.
1st round, 20th pick- Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
I have mixed feelings about this pick. There is part of me that thinks that a TE is even more of a wasted pick than the QB at number one. A TE? Really? What, there weren't any good punters available? I mean, of all the needs that we have, was TE really one of them? No, seriously, I'm asking- I have no idea if we needed a TE or not.
But there is part of me that thinks that the Lions were trying to send me a birthday present. The TE position basically happened when the football position a mommy WR and a daddy OL got together and had babies. So it's like the Lions were like, 'Jason we hear your cries for help, and we are acknowledging them. See, our TE is half offensive lineman. But we also realize that you have a sense of humor. So he is half wide receiver as well'. I'm a little disconcerted that I hold that much sway in the Lions draft war room- but I appreciate the gesture!
2nd round, 1st pick (33rd overall)- Louis Delmas, S, Western Michigan
What The F-bomb? Seriously? With James the Animal and Rey the Hair still available, we choose a safety? From the MAC? I take it all the elite towel boys were already drafted? This is the point where I officially gave up on the Detroit Lions season and the Schwartz regime. Hopefully day two is more productive.
Hey. Hey you! Draft my son from The Ohio State University, or I will shove my spiked shoulder pad through your face! Or, I will lick your face to death with my large tongue!
I officially declare man-love on Rey Malnutrition..Malcontent...Maladapted....what's his last name again?
Pics
Rey- http://blogs.ajc.com/atlanta-falcons-blog/files/2009/03/rey-maualuga.jpg
Legion of Doom- http://z.hubpages.com/u/324578_f260.jpg
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Clone War
First of all, I have to have to HAVE TO start this post off by saying that I am not responsible for the sudden surge in Star Wars character related pages on Facebook. I am definitely not responsible for the second Dann Vayder page, but unfortunately that has become the assumption. That is what this post is all about. You might think I'm a spin doctor, or maybe just trying to damage control. I prefer to think of it as a public service announcement.
Think of my first post was kind of like the prequel Star Wars trilogy that came out earlier this decade- it was definitely flashier, it had better special effects, but it is not nearly as cool or as nostalgic as the original and definitely left holes in the continuity of the story. Now I'm going to tell you the real story.
Here's what happened. Monday started out as a normal day. Well, sort of. I got up at 5 and went running with a friend. After this happened, and a trip to Babycakes, I went over to watch my grandmother-in-law. I checked my Facebook. WTFbomb? New Dann Vayder? Same spelling, same name on photo album- I didn't think much of it that he requested to be my friend...and my Dann Vayder's friend. So I accepted the requests. I wanted to see what it was all about.
I start checking out his profile. This impostor was claiming to be the true Dann Vayder! He is requesting all my friends, he has the same photo album name, spelled exactly the same- who does this guy think he is? Doesn't he know that I was already pretending to be the one and only Dann Vayder?
The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Now, you might think that this is stupid- if you didn't think the idea of a Dann Vayder Facebook page was stupid in the first place, you are probably finding it stupid that a 30-year old man is getting upset about this. But if you can just appreciate the passion that I have for my adaptation of somebody else's creation- that is a good thing, right?
Besides, the other Dann was making verbal assaults on me! He threatened to kill me! Well, in a manner of speaking. At first I tried to play it off as a doppelganger, but I couldn't leave it there when he continually called me out. Not only that, but it was like he was abusing my creation- I made Dann Vayder to be an object of silliness. The thought of Darth Vader being a normal person, working his job like a 9-5 and then coming home and having other interests- that was funny to me. The new Dann Vayder was all like, pissed at everyone and everything. I felt like the kingdom that I had worked so hard to build was being torn down in ignorance.
So I enlisted the help of my friend Batt Moyd (name changed as best I could), who became bounty hunter Jango Fett. Together we labored most of Monday trying to fight an epic battle with this impostor Dann Vayder. Unbeknownst to me, another friend decided to don the alias of Fredd Palpytine. I cannot tell you the rollercoaster of emotions that I went through on Monday! I spent most of the day upset because someone tried to steal my stolen shtick. Then I came home and spent most of the evening laughing my ass off because other people jumped on the bandwagon with me- unless you are a nerd, you really have no idea how exhilarating it is to have two friends maintain Star Wars character Facebook pages to suppliment yours. I wouldn't put it on par with Fatherhood...but it's closer than you'd think.
Monday night, around 11:00 p.m., Batt and I took a road trip to Wal-mart because Batt had a brilliant idea. See, around that time, we had done enough detective work to narrow down the suspects to a select one- our neighbor Man DcGlone (again, I am really running out of fake names). Batt thought it would be funny to buy a bunch of Jango Fett figures, then tell Man that I was going to send Jango after him and leave Jango Fett action figures on his porch. Some people might call that stalking. I prefer to think of it as 'communication'.
So we went to Wal-mart, and of course, they had no Jango Fett action figures at all. The closest thing we came across was a four pack of Star Wars bounty hunters- Boba Fett and three guys that I've never heard of and am pretty sure were made up just to be able to have a four pack of bounty hunters. So we bought that, and put the Boba Fett on his porch. Jango Fett told Dann Vayder that he was going to send his son after him. Our Facebook battle ended after midnight.
The next day was completely agonizing, because there was no word at all from the other Dann Vayder. None. Zero. Zilch. Can you imagine how frustrated I was? I mean, I spent most of my Monday stewing about this fraud, and waging war against his insolence, and then on Tuesday, he doesn't even show up? Arrrgghhh!
In addition, Tuesday was frustrating because we tried to create a Wikipedia page for Dann Vayder. We were going to use this as proof to the fake Dann Vayder that I was the true Dann Vayder, and that he needed to step down immediately and submit himself to the will of the Force. But alas, the Wikipedia page was soon deleted; apparently, Dann Vayder did not register as a 'notable person'. You know what? Nobody uses Wikipedia anyways, so there.
And now it's Thursday...Dann Vayder has resurfaced, but less loudly than before. What is he thinking? What is his plan? I fear we may never know. Sadly, this situation could have been prevented had the other Dann Vayder not been such a meany face. I mean, how many other variations of Vader are there? He could have been the actual Darth Vader...
_03.jpg)
He could have been Chad Vader, supermarket day-shift manager....
Shoot, he could even have been Dark Helmet....
All I know is that this war has the potential to ravage galaxies, destroy families, and change the face of Facebook as we know it. Remember this day, historians. For there will come a time when you look back at this blog post as a marker for the day that your entire world was turned upside down- the day that Dann Vayder waged war against himself.
Pics:
Darth Vader- http://dosan.skku.ac.kr/~sjkim/icons/Hobby/Figure/DarthVader(Medicom)_03.jpg
Chad Vader- http://www.cinemovida.net/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/chad_vader.7294805_std.jpg
Dark Helmet- http://msp108.photobucket.com/albums/n8/jmgooser33/Dark_Helmet.jpg
Think of my first post was kind of like the prequel Star Wars trilogy that came out earlier this decade- it was definitely flashier, it had better special effects, but it is not nearly as cool or as nostalgic as the original and definitely left holes in the continuity of the story. Now I'm going to tell you the real story.
Here's what happened. Monday started out as a normal day. Well, sort of. I got up at 5 and went running with a friend. After this happened, and a trip to Babycakes, I went over to watch my grandmother-in-law. I checked my Facebook. WTFbomb? New Dann Vayder? Same spelling, same name on photo album- I didn't think much of it that he requested to be my friend...and my Dann Vayder's friend. So I accepted the requests. I wanted to see what it was all about.
I start checking out his profile. This impostor was claiming to be the true Dann Vayder! He is requesting all my friends, he has the same photo album name, spelled exactly the same- who does this guy think he is? Doesn't he know that I was already pretending to be the one and only Dann Vayder?
The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Now, you might think that this is stupid- if you didn't think the idea of a Dann Vayder Facebook page was stupid in the first place, you are probably finding it stupid that a 30-year old man is getting upset about this. But if you can just appreciate the passion that I have for my adaptation of somebody else's creation- that is a good thing, right?
Besides, the other Dann was making verbal assaults on me! He threatened to kill me! Well, in a manner of speaking. At first I tried to play it off as a doppelganger, but I couldn't leave it there when he continually called me out. Not only that, but it was like he was abusing my creation- I made Dann Vayder to be an object of silliness. The thought of Darth Vader being a normal person, working his job like a 9-5 and then coming home and having other interests- that was funny to me. The new Dann Vayder was all like, pissed at everyone and everything. I felt like the kingdom that I had worked so hard to build was being torn down in ignorance.
So I enlisted the help of my friend Batt Moyd (name changed as best I could), who became bounty hunter Jango Fett. Together we labored most of Monday trying to fight an epic battle with this impostor Dann Vayder. Unbeknownst to me, another friend decided to don the alias of Fredd Palpytine. I cannot tell you the rollercoaster of emotions that I went through on Monday! I spent most of the day upset because someone tried to steal my stolen shtick. Then I came home and spent most of the evening laughing my ass off because other people jumped on the bandwagon with me- unless you are a nerd, you really have no idea how exhilarating it is to have two friends maintain Star Wars character Facebook pages to suppliment yours. I wouldn't put it on par with Fatherhood...but it's closer than you'd think.
Monday night, around 11:00 p.m., Batt and I took a road trip to Wal-mart because Batt had a brilliant idea. See, around that time, we had done enough detective work to narrow down the suspects to a select one- our neighbor Man DcGlone (again, I am really running out of fake names). Batt thought it would be funny to buy a bunch of Jango Fett figures, then tell Man that I was going to send Jango after him and leave Jango Fett action figures on his porch. Some people might call that stalking. I prefer to think of it as 'communication'.
So we went to Wal-mart, and of course, they had no Jango Fett action figures at all. The closest thing we came across was a four pack of Star Wars bounty hunters- Boba Fett and three guys that I've never heard of and am pretty sure were made up just to be able to have a four pack of bounty hunters. So we bought that, and put the Boba Fett on his porch. Jango Fett told Dann Vayder that he was going to send his son after him. Our Facebook battle ended after midnight.
The next day was completely agonizing, because there was no word at all from the other Dann Vayder. None. Zero. Zilch. Can you imagine how frustrated I was? I mean, I spent most of my Monday stewing about this fraud, and waging war against his insolence, and then on Tuesday, he doesn't even show up? Arrrgghhh!
In addition, Tuesday was frustrating because we tried to create a Wikipedia page for Dann Vayder. We were going to use this as proof to the fake Dann Vayder that I was the true Dann Vayder, and that he needed to step down immediately and submit himself to the will of the Force. But alas, the Wikipedia page was soon deleted; apparently, Dann Vayder did not register as a 'notable person'. You know what? Nobody uses Wikipedia anyways, so there.
And now it's Thursday...Dann Vayder has resurfaced, but less loudly than before. What is he thinking? What is his plan? I fear we may never know. Sadly, this situation could have been prevented had the other Dann Vayder not been such a meany face. I mean, how many other variations of Vader are there? He could have been the actual Darth Vader...
_03.jpg)
He could have been Chad Vader, supermarket day-shift manager....
Shoot, he could even have been Dark Helmet....
All I know is that this war has the potential to ravage galaxies, destroy families, and change the face of Facebook as we know it. Remember this day, historians. For there will come a time when you look back at this blog post as a marker for the day that your entire world was turned upside down- the day that Dann Vayder waged war against himself.
Pics:
Darth Vader- http://dosan.skku.ac.kr/~sjkim/icons/Hobby/Figure/DarthVader(Medicom)_03.jpg
Chad Vader- http://www.cinemovida.net/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/chad_vader.7294805_std.jpg
Dark Helmet- http://msp108.photobucket.com/albums/n8/jmgooser33/Dark_Helmet.jpg
A computer zombie virus plague
Have you ever woke up one day and gone about your business as normal only to find out that everyone had become infected with a zombie virus and was trying to kill/eat you?
If you answered yes to this question, then you might not want to stand this close to your best friend, your step-father, mother, or roommate. In fact, the only person you can really trust is your ex-girlfriend.
And now, in honor of the economic crisis, a word from a non-sponsor-
For sale: authentic Amazonian speedo. Penis gourd not included.
If you answered yes to this question, then you might not want to stand this close to your best friend, your step-father, mother, or roommate. In fact, the only person you can really trust is your ex-girlfriend.
Well that is what Monday was for me. Allow me to explain.
For those of you who don't know, I maintain a social networking site for Darth Vader's alter ego, Dan. The actual spelling I use is 'Dann Vayder', so as not to appear too suspicious. The Dann Vayder character actually originated back when 'Star Wars: Episode III' came out in theaters, and Hasbro came out with the Darth Vader Voice-changer Helmet
Every little kid dreams of having one of the trinity of awesome star wars helmets- Darth Vader, Stormtrooper, Boba Fett. For most of my life I had just assumed that such a desire was out of my league- I didn't have enough money, and I wasn't nerdy enough to devote myself to such an ideal. Then came the Voice-changer helmet.
Every little kid dreams of having one of the trinity of awesome star wars helmets- Darth Vader, Stormtrooper, Boba Fett. For most of my life I had just assumed that such a desire was out of my league- I didn't have enough money, and I wasn't nerdy enough to devote myself to such an ideal. Then came the Voice-changer helmet.
For the first time, the awesomeness was made available at the mass-market level. Purists called it a disgrace, and went on a wide-scale smear campaign. Or not. Either way, I was going to get one of those helmets. And I did. So this part of the story is pretty boring. Sorry I don't have a better story of hunter-quarry...I just ordered it off of Amazon.com
And now, in honor of the economic crisis, a word from a non-sponsor-
Today's blog has been brought to you by Amazon.com. Amazon.com. You can buy stuff from us, and we will send you the stuff you buy.
For sale: authentic Amazonian speedo. Penis gourd not included.
So I decided that it would be hilarious to take pictures of Darth Vader doing everyday, normal types of things. I didn't have a whole costume, but I still went ahead with my plan. It lead to us taking a bunch of pictures. We laughed, because we are stupid, and then we put the pictures and the helmet away.
Fast forward to 2008. I dig up the pictures while looking for some other thing. The memories flood back, the passion- everything that made me want to do completely ridiculous things to make myself laugh. I had some friends scan the pictures onto the computer for me (before that, they were in snail-pic format), and they thought the pics were the funniest things.
Around that same time, I got Facebook. I put the pics onto Facebook. I got more people telling me that the Dann Vayder thing was really funny. I laughed. I dug the helmet out of seclusion, and started taking more pictures.
Fast forward to 2009. Whoops, slow down- you almost went to 2012
It is starting to seem that the Mayan civilization will still be dead in 2012. The accuracy of their calander is just amazing. Who could have predicted that? Really?
So I decide to create a social networking page for Dann Vayder. And I did actually do that. Again, I'm sorry there isn't more of the story here.
You will have to tune in next time for when I actually tell you the actual story that I wanted to tell you that I couldn't because I spent so much time setting up the back story. But then, if you've followed this blog for any period of time, you probably expected me to not actually get to the point of why I was writing in the first place.
It is starting to seem that the Mayan civilization will still be dead in 2012. The accuracy of their calander is just amazing. Who could have predicted that? Really?
So I decide to create a social networking page for Dann Vayder. And I did actually do that. Again, I'm sorry there isn't more of the story here.
You will have to tune in next time for when I actually tell you the actual story that I wanted to tell you that I couldn't because I spent so much time setting up the back story. But then, if you've followed this blog for any period of time, you probably expected me to not actually get to the point of why I was writing in the first place.
Pics:
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Bobcats in silk
Okay, so remember my post about Simon Says, and the mysterious powers of sociological forces? Well, they're back. Again.
Let me set up the story a little bit. Homer and Marge (a name-change to protect innocence) are a couple that go to our church. They are awesome. Every time Homer sees me, he says 'rummatumtum' and tells me how much he enjoys my drum-playing. These people have a heart for young married couples- in fact they host a bible study at their house geared towards young married and to-be married pairs.
This isn't what they really look like, but if you picture them in your head, then it helps maintain the illusion.
In fact, our entire church body is awesome. It is primarily college-age peeps, with some awesome elders to boot. I'm not going to say too much about them though, as this is not the purpose of the blog. Suffice it to say that they are awesome as well.
So Homer and Marge are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this year. For those of you who are not familiar with that concept, it's like celebrating any anniversary, except on a more grand scale, because it's 50 freaking years! I'm going to be turning 30 later on this week (at this point you are probably thinking that I'm writing this whole blog as a plug for my upcoming 30th birthday. You may be right), and to think that they were married for 20 years PRIOR to my birth is just like 'whoa'.
So they had a celebration at the church this past Saturday, and we initially weren't going to go- our lives are crazy busy, and I didn't really even find out about it until a couple days beforehand. But Sara bumped into some friends at the store on Saturday morning who said that we should go, there'd be free food and the Simpsons (name change again) really wanted the previously mentioned young marrieds to come and partake- and really, with the way most marriages unfold in our society, it isn't a bad idea really to celebrate two people who have remained faithfully in love for 50 years.
So around 12:30 p.m. on Saturday, we decided that we were going to go. I'll be honest- the big appeal to me was free food, although I do love Homer and Marge. So we throw stuff together to get ready, not even really thinking about the event, just the food...I had a black 'Ohio' sweatshirt that was in a Goodwill bag in the car (probably been there for three months), and I pulled it out and put it on. It didn't look too wrinkled, and I only have one other hoodie that I wanted to save for later in the week.
It hits me when we walk into the church and I see everybody else dressed up! What was I thinking?, I think to myself- obviously they are celebrating their anniversary, I remember that I was told they were renewing their vows, why wouldn't they have a formal shindig?
At this point I was a mental wreck. All I could imagine was every single person in the place looking at me in disgust, thinking evil thoughts about me, gossiping about me at their tables. I saw the marriage of Homer and Marge crumbling because of my wrinkled Ohio Bobcats sweatshirt and jeans. Well, I wasn't that self-conscious- but still, I was completely useless as a social being. All I could think about was how I was completely underdressed, and how nice everyone else looked. It didn't matter that there were other people there as underdressed as I was (including some prime timers), or that there is no reason for me to believe that I would have been judged by any person in that room (other than those that don't know me...but that's on them, right?). I created a little world where I was the center of attention and that attention was completely and 100% negative.
(Oh, I forgot to mention that the only open table was at the front of the church- so we had to walk by all the other tables to get to our table. This is probably played into the fact that I was so paranoid.)
Well, about an hour and a half worth of sulking and pouting later, I finally started to loosen up and enjoy myself (this was about the time that people were starting to eat, so they were able in my mind to focus on their food instead of my attire). I ended up having a good time. And nobody made any comments in church today about my fashion faux pas...
Even this might have been more acceptable than wearing an Ohio Bobcats hooded sweatshirt that had been tucked inside of a garbage bag for the past three months. Of course, that's just the power of big hair and zebra stripes.
Let me set up the story a little bit. Homer and Marge (a name-change to protect innocence) are a couple that go to our church. They are awesome. Every time Homer sees me, he says 'rummatumtum' and tells me how much he enjoys my drum-playing. These people have a heart for young married couples- in fact they host a bible study at their house geared towards young married and to-be married pairs.
This isn't what they really look like, but if you picture them in your head, then it helps maintain the illusion.
In fact, our entire church body is awesome. It is primarily college-age peeps, with some awesome elders to boot. I'm not going to say too much about them though, as this is not the purpose of the blog. Suffice it to say that they are awesome as well.
So Homer and Marge are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this year. For those of you who are not familiar with that concept, it's like celebrating any anniversary, except on a more grand scale, because it's 50 freaking years! I'm going to be turning 30 later on this week (at this point you are probably thinking that I'm writing this whole blog as a plug for my upcoming 30th birthday. You may be right), and to think that they were married for 20 years PRIOR to my birth is just like 'whoa'.
So they had a celebration at the church this past Saturday, and we initially weren't going to go- our lives are crazy busy, and I didn't really even find out about it until a couple days beforehand. But Sara bumped into some friends at the store on Saturday morning who said that we should go, there'd be free food and the Simpsons (name change again) really wanted the previously mentioned young marrieds to come and partake- and really, with the way most marriages unfold in our society, it isn't a bad idea really to celebrate two people who have remained faithfully in love for 50 years.
So around 12:30 p.m. on Saturday, we decided that we were going to go. I'll be honest- the big appeal to me was free food, although I do love Homer and Marge. So we throw stuff together to get ready, not even really thinking about the event, just the food...I had a black 'Ohio' sweatshirt that was in a Goodwill bag in the car (probably been there for three months), and I pulled it out and put it on. It didn't look too wrinkled, and I only have one other hoodie that I wanted to save for later in the week.
It hits me when we walk into the church and I see everybody else dressed up! What was I thinking?, I think to myself- obviously they are celebrating their anniversary, I remember that I was told they were renewing their vows, why wouldn't they have a formal shindig?
At this point I was a mental wreck. All I could imagine was every single person in the place looking at me in disgust, thinking evil thoughts about me, gossiping about me at their tables. I saw the marriage of Homer and Marge crumbling because of my wrinkled Ohio Bobcats sweatshirt and jeans. Well, I wasn't that self-conscious- but still, I was completely useless as a social being. All I could think about was how I was completely underdressed, and how nice everyone else looked. It didn't matter that there were other people there as underdressed as I was (including some prime timers), or that there is no reason for me to believe that I would have been judged by any person in that room (other than those that don't know me...but that's on them, right?). I created a little world where I was the center of attention and that attention was completely and 100% negative.
(Oh, I forgot to mention that the only open table was at the front of the church- so we had to walk by all the other tables to get to our table. This is probably played into the fact that I was so paranoid.)
Well, about an hour and a half worth of sulking and pouting later, I finally started to loosen up and enjoy myself (this was about the time that people were starting to eat, so they were able in my mind to focus on their food instead of my attire). I ended up having a good time. And nobody made any comments in church today about my fashion faux pas...
Even this might have been more acceptable than wearing an Ohio Bobcats hooded sweatshirt that had been tucked inside of a garbage bag for the past three months. Of course, that's just the power of big hair and zebra stripes.
The whole moral of the story is this underlying power that is at work in our daily lives. We are social animals, and so much of what we do, say, and think is programmed by forces that are outside of our control and understanding. On that day, the unspoken cultural expectation of what to wear on certain events was more powerful than my relationships with people. I did overcome- but not before I had squandered a chunk of time merely because of clothes that I was wearing! How ridiculous, right? And yet, how often we allow those types of things to carry significance in our lives. We've all done it. We've all been there.
Let's break this bondage then. Let's shake free from the forms of social control that hold us captive, even in the areas of mundane details. Let's live our lives the way God intended. Walk with me...the only way we can change the world is if we will change ourselves.
Pics
http://pics.hoobly.com/full/X6JRWVHE5DNGAYNKAY.jpg http://www.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/culture/2005/07/28/LadyBunnyGloves333x500.jpg
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A letter to God
Last night, my wonderful wife let me hang out with my buddy Matt. Matt is in Baby Cannon with me. Matt is like me in many ways. Matt is awesome.
So anyways, we went out to dinner at Quiznos. It was my first time eating at Quiznos, and let me just say that it was phenomenal. While we were eating, we were talking about the band. And I don't remember what exactly the situation was, but Matt was very adamant about something that we were talking about, and he made a comment (joking of course) that the only way that this would not happen is if God Himself delivered a hand written letter to Matt via the angel Gabriel...and even then, I jested, it would not be a slam dunk.
So then we started detailing our letter in response to God on this issue. Now, a little explanation here- I am a huge fan of situational humor- to me, I appreciate the context of situations and manipulating those contexts into absurdities. Obviously the whole situation of exchanging letters with God is silly, especially when our letter is the following:
Dear God,
First of all, thank You for Your interest in Baby Cannon- we couldn't do it without Your support! We received your letter recently detailing Your disapproval of our (whatever the situation was that we were joking about, I really don't remember). Rest assured, we discussed Your thoughts in great detail and You bring up some valid issues; however unfortunately at this time we have decided to decline your request. We hope that this does not affect our relationship, and we look forward to working with You in future dealings.
Sincerely,
Jason D. Parks
This wasn't the exact thing that was said, but this was the gist of it. You might think this is funny, you might think it is stupid, you might think it is blasphemous. I don't know- I just know that it was funny to us last night because it is such an absurd situation, and we were really rolling with all the rigmarole and jargon that goes into those formal letters.
So then I got to thinking, isn't that kind of what I do anyways sometimes? Like, I feel like I'm supposed to do something, but I don't do it- whether I don't want to or whatever...the point is that I don't do it. It may not have a fancy letter attached, but it's the same concept.
And then it got me thinking about the whole issue of sacrifice. I'm taking a mythology class this semester, and one thing that I think any belief system has in common is a system of sacrifice to its gods. And think about it- what is the point of following a deity that does not demand sacrifice.? How powerful is that deity, really? If God does not demand something from me, then I'm not sure I want to be a part of that interaction.
It's kind of the same principle of sacrifice in other areas of life- if you want to be really good at something, you sacrifice for it. Athletes spend hours a day working out, honing their bodies, eating healthy- and I could go on with various occupations and activities. The idea is still the same though- that to acheive at a high level, you need to sacrifice. That is why I wouldn't want to serve a God that did not demand sacrifice or hold me accountable- because that is a God that has low standards. If you have power and low standards, you are probably a villain. Or the agent for Terrell Owens (sorry, it's my obligatory T.O. joke).
So this blog kinda jumped all over the place- which is how my mind works sometimes. You'll learn to cope. It's been a while since I've done a silly post, hasn't it? Part of that is because lately I have been channeling my silly energy on Facebook, maintaining a Darth Vader Facebook page and making up mock stupid Facebook quizzes. I'll try to reserve some energy here soon and do a ridiculous post about something ridiculous so you can all laugh and tell me that I am amazing.
Until then, I am sorry God that I suck at obedience.
So anyways, we went out to dinner at Quiznos. It was my first time eating at Quiznos, and let me just say that it was phenomenal. While we were eating, we were talking about the band. And I don't remember what exactly the situation was, but Matt was very adamant about something that we were talking about, and he made a comment (joking of course) that the only way that this would not happen is if God Himself delivered a hand written letter to Matt via the angel Gabriel...and even then, I jested, it would not be a slam dunk.
So then we started detailing our letter in response to God on this issue. Now, a little explanation here- I am a huge fan of situational humor- to me, I appreciate the context of situations and manipulating those contexts into absurdities. Obviously the whole situation of exchanging letters with God is silly, especially when our letter is the following:
Dear God,
First of all, thank You for Your interest in Baby Cannon- we couldn't do it without Your support! We received your letter recently detailing Your disapproval of our (whatever the situation was that we were joking about, I really don't remember). Rest assured, we discussed Your thoughts in great detail and You bring up some valid issues; however unfortunately at this time we have decided to decline your request. We hope that this does not affect our relationship, and we look forward to working with You in future dealings.
Sincerely,
Jason D. Parks
This wasn't the exact thing that was said, but this was the gist of it. You might think this is funny, you might think it is stupid, you might think it is blasphemous. I don't know- I just know that it was funny to us last night because it is such an absurd situation, and we were really rolling with all the rigmarole and jargon that goes into those formal letters.
So then I got to thinking, isn't that kind of what I do anyways sometimes? Like, I feel like I'm supposed to do something, but I don't do it- whether I don't want to or whatever...the point is that I don't do it. It may not have a fancy letter attached, but it's the same concept.
And then it got me thinking about the whole issue of sacrifice. I'm taking a mythology class this semester, and one thing that I think any belief system has in common is a system of sacrifice to its gods. And think about it- what is the point of following a deity that does not demand sacrifice.? How powerful is that deity, really? If God does not demand something from me, then I'm not sure I want to be a part of that interaction.
It's kind of the same principle of sacrifice in other areas of life- if you want to be really good at something, you sacrifice for it. Athletes spend hours a day working out, honing their bodies, eating healthy- and I could go on with various occupations and activities. The idea is still the same though- that to acheive at a high level, you need to sacrifice. That is why I wouldn't want to serve a God that did not demand sacrifice or hold me accountable- because that is a God that has low standards. If you have power and low standards, you are probably a villain. Or the agent for Terrell Owens (sorry, it's my obligatory T.O. joke).
So this blog kinda jumped all over the place- which is how my mind works sometimes. You'll learn to cope. It's been a while since I've done a silly post, hasn't it? Part of that is because lately I have been channeling my silly energy on Facebook, maintaining a Darth Vader Facebook page and making up mock stupid Facebook quizzes. I'll try to reserve some energy here soon and do a ridiculous post about something ridiculous so you can all laugh and tell me that I am amazing.
Until then, I am sorry God that I suck at obedience.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Now what?
Okay, so I have to admit and come clean...I've been wrestling with very weighty issues this semester. I've been struggling with the concept of God. I've flirted with intellectualism. So many things bother me about life, about faith, about humanity- and everywhere I turn, I find no answers, only more questions.
A Christian philosopher who struggles with his faith said something to the effect of 'it is better to be Socrates with doubts than to be a pig in bliss'. I'm not so sure about that. The more I learn, the more I live, the more I contemplate on everything, I find myself wanting to know less and less. There is such joy in simplicity! But I'm finding that knowledge cannot be undone. And so I'm left delving deeper and deeper into a postmodern world is set up to fail- at least in terms of hope, that is. Let me talk about that.
See, there are many, many different ways to approach humanity, and the way we think about life. Most of us might be fluent in one, or even two at the most. I'm not really fluent in any, but as a social worker, I have an understanding of many different avenues- we call it an eclectic knowledge base. Using systems theory, we look at our clients and how the various systems of their lives work together. It's pretty amazing!
So if humanity was a 'client', then let's just think about some of our systems. Think about the forces that shape us into who we are- biological, psychological, sociological, religious, environmental, cultural, gender- these are just starting grounds. Think about the cosmos. Think about the way in which we define our world, and the forces that work to shape our perceptions of it. I mean, even something we take so for granted like color is just our brain interpreting the reflection of light off of the materials of this Earth.
I apologize if I am failing to paint an overwhelming picture. My goal here is to portray humanity as a concept that is truly unable to be completely understood by our feeble minds. I mean, we think we know. But we really don't know. There is no way where we can look at all of the above fields, and all the things that I left out, and tie them together and make sense of them in a way that enables us to completely know and understand everything about humanity. We just can't do it.
So it kind of irks me when I see atheists take the claim of 'freethinking'- like somehow rejecting Christianity is the only outcome of being a 'free-thinker'.
Understand my purpose here please- I'm not trying to suggest that they aren't free-thinkers- but what I'm coming to realize and understand is that we can never be in a position where we can understand another person completely. The best we can hope for is some level of empathy, and maybe some similar experiences, but to put ourselves completely in the shoes of another person? Nope, can't do it. Thanks for playing.
So where am I going with this? Well, I do have a point. And if you've hung with me for this long, then I commend you and shall reward you by getting to the point.
I was reading an article today, an atheistic article. It said that there cannot be an all-loving, all-knowing God in a world where such atrocities happen. It talked about the tsunami, and the thousands of people died. It mentioned a hypothetical scenario where an 8 year old girl is brutally raped and murdered. It talked about cancer. These are but a shadow of the horrible things that have happened in the existence of humanity.
So let's play that game. Let's go there. Let's say that this all-knowing and all-loving God does not exist because the above things do exist.
Now what?
What do you have? You take God out of the picture....and you know what? You are still going to have tsunamis. You are still going to have 8 year old girls who are brutally murdered and raped. There will still be cancer. So now what? What do you point the finger at now? Who is to blame? Humanity is messed up. And we live in a messed up world, where natural disasters and diseases plague us. We live in messed up bodies that break down and die.
And you want to remove hope from this situation?
Let's think of this- you want to trust that humanity is intrinsically good to the point where no religion is needed, and we will all work together and hold hands and sing songs? I don't see how we can be taught that humanity is the big winner in the 'survival of the fittest animal' contest and then think that everything is going to be hunky dory. Whether you believe that man is merely an evolved animal or a being with a fallen nature, I am not convinced that John Lennon really knew what he was imagining.
Now understand I do realize that there are terrible things that have been done in the name of God, and of 'religion'. And I'm still trying to sort out all of the systems in my head. But how dare we try to point the finger at those who recognize the hopeless situation they are born into and are trying to make sense of it. I mean, if you think that the elimination of God is going to usher us into utopia, then by all means you can think that. Do not presume that applies to everybody though. Don't pretend that you can look at me, and all of the events in my life that have conspired to make me the person that I am today, and tell me that you know all about me.
I still have questions, I still have doubts. Sometimes I don't know whether I am coming or going. I just want to be real with people. I want to care for people. I want to allow this compassion in my heart to come out, without agenda, without preconception. Life is precious. Let's not waste it being judgemental of other people.
A Christian philosopher who struggles with his faith said something to the effect of 'it is better to be Socrates with doubts than to be a pig in bliss'. I'm not so sure about that. The more I learn, the more I live, the more I contemplate on everything, I find myself wanting to know less and less. There is such joy in simplicity! But I'm finding that knowledge cannot be undone. And so I'm left delving deeper and deeper into a postmodern world is set up to fail- at least in terms of hope, that is. Let me talk about that.
See, there are many, many different ways to approach humanity, and the way we think about life. Most of us might be fluent in one, or even two at the most. I'm not really fluent in any, but as a social worker, I have an understanding of many different avenues- we call it an eclectic knowledge base. Using systems theory, we look at our clients and how the various systems of their lives work together. It's pretty amazing!
So if humanity was a 'client', then let's just think about some of our systems. Think about the forces that shape us into who we are- biological, psychological, sociological, religious, environmental, cultural, gender- these are just starting grounds. Think about the cosmos. Think about the way in which we define our world, and the forces that work to shape our perceptions of it. I mean, even something we take so for granted like color is just our brain interpreting the reflection of light off of the materials of this Earth.
I apologize if I am failing to paint an overwhelming picture. My goal here is to portray humanity as a concept that is truly unable to be completely understood by our feeble minds. I mean, we think we know. But we really don't know. There is no way where we can look at all of the above fields, and all the things that I left out, and tie them together and make sense of them in a way that enables us to completely know and understand everything about humanity. We just can't do it.
So it kind of irks me when I see atheists take the claim of 'freethinking'- like somehow rejecting Christianity is the only outcome of being a 'free-thinker'.
Understand my purpose here please- I'm not trying to suggest that they aren't free-thinkers- but what I'm coming to realize and understand is that we can never be in a position where we can understand another person completely. The best we can hope for is some level of empathy, and maybe some similar experiences, but to put ourselves completely in the shoes of another person? Nope, can't do it. Thanks for playing.
So where am I going with this? Well, I do have a point. And if you've hung with me for this long, then I commend you and shall reward you by getting to the point.
I was reading an article today, an atheistic article. It said that there cannot be an all-loving, all-knowing God in a world where such atrocities happen. It talked about the tsunami, and the thousands of people died. It mentioned a hypothetical scenario where an 8 year old girl is brutally raped and murdered. It talked about cancer. These are but a shadow of the horrible things that have happened in the existence of humanity.
So let's play that game. Let's go there. Let's say that this all-knowing and all-loving God does not exist because the above things do exist.
Now what?
What do you have? You take God out of the picture....and you know what? You are still going to have tsunamis. You are still going to have 8 year old girls who are brutally murdered and raped. There will still be cancer. So now what? What do you point the finger at now? Who is to blame? Humanity is messed up. And we live in a messed up world, where natural disasters and diseases plague us. We live in messed up bodies that break down and die.
And you want to remove hope from this situation?
Let's think of this- you want to trust that humanity is intrinsically good to the point where no religion is needed, and we will all work together and hold hands and sing songs? I don't see how we can be taught that humanity is the big winner in the 'survival of the fittest animal' contest and then think that everything is going to be hunky dory. Whether you believe that man is merely an evolved animal or a being with a fallen nature, I am not convinced that John Lennon really knew what he was imagining.
Now understand I do realize that there are terrible things that have been done in the name of God, and of 'religion'. And I'm still trying to sort out all of the systems in my head. But how dare we try to point the finger at those who recognize the hopeless situation they are born into and are trying to make sense of it. I mean, if you think that the elimination of God is going to usher us into utopia, then by all means you can think that. Do not presume that applies to everybody though. Don't pretend that you can look at me, and all of the events in my life that have conspired to make me the person that I am today, and tell me that you know all about me.
I still have questions, I still have doubts. Sometimes I don't know whether I am coming or going. I just want to be real with people. I want to care for people. I want to allow this compassion in my heart to come out, without agenda, without preconception. Life is precious. Let's not waste it being judgemental of other people.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
It's April Fools Day, I am writing this on April Fools Day, but it has nothing to do with April Fools Day...
Ryan Moats at Louisiana Tech- if you thought he was anonymous now, imagine how anonymous he was playing football at Louisiana Tech. Did you even know there was a football team at Louisiana Tech? Did you even know there was a Louisiana Tech?
Have you heard about the Ryan Moats saga yet? If not, I highly recommend reading some articles on it- it's a great commentary about so many different aspects of our society, how race and power interact, how split second decisions can have lasting impacts on the rest of our lives...and how things are seldom as black and white as they seem.
I'm going off of memory, so I'm not going to get into a lot of details. It would be very easy to just look up the articles, and actually do some research for this post...but really you should just be happy that I'm writing something...it might not be the best, but it is not the worst. I should probably be doing something more productive like homework, or updating my 'Darth Vader' Facebook page.
So the gist of it is that Ryan Moats, who is a back-up NFL running back with the Houston Texans, ran a red-light on his way to the hospital and got pulled over. What happened next apparently transpired over 13 minutes, all of which was caught on a camera from the patrol car. In sum, things became very heated, the officer ended up pulling his gun on the Moats family, and Moats' mother-in-law ended up dying before they were able to get there.
I apologize for a very brief synopsis...I would encourage you to read the articles for yourself.
Public backlash against the officer was very quick and harsh- the Dallas police department was quick to condemn the actions of the officer, who ended up issuing a public apology and eventually resigning.
There is so much going on here, it's not even funny. Really, it makes me upset at the whole 'sound bite' philosophy of our culture. There is 13 minutes of footage...but I'm willing to bet that the 13 minutes has not been looked at in context- at least not by the masses. We get to make our judgements on the scraps that fall from the table of Behind The Scenes. And so this is how we draw our conclusions, in our Internet/Blog/Twitter culture, while the official word on the streets is the media spin on this sad ordeal
I'm not siding with the police officer per se...but it is not a slam dunk for Moats either. Imagine you are a police officer in Dallas, and it's dark out (I don't know what time it is, but the video footage that I saw took place in the dark), and a guy runs a red light...and then who knows what happened...all I know is that at some point, Moats made a flippant remark to the officer about not being able to find his registration, more words were exchanged, people left the vehicle... you might be a little on edge and possibly overreact. Otherwise, you might be a dead officer.
Really the only reason this is a story is because Moats' mother-in-law died and they were unable to see her because of this incident with the officer. Now, I'm not trying to demean in any way the fact that they were robbed of spending precious last moments with a very dear person to their lives. I am just pointing out that this is the independent variable that changes the whole situation and blurs the lines between who is right and who is wrong.
Is the officer evil? Not necessarily- and in fact, what I'm getting is that there are probably things he's doing that he should have been doing. Someone runs a red light and becomes belligerent when you pull them over. I can imagine they were in some ways at least a little hysterical. Then they leave the car. At some point, your fight-or-flight has to go off, and if you are an officer that does not choose 'fight' in that situation...well, you might not be qualified to serve and protect. And really, if you are an officer, I'm sure you've heard your share of sob stories that were really nothing but people trying to get out of a bad situation. It is almost as if a collective 'Boy who cried wolf' became entangled in this perfect storm that left one family devastated and an officer out of a job.
This situation is so intriguing to me because it isn't a simple case of black and white, right and wrong. You'd think it would be- because their mother-in-law was dying, for crying out loud! Is that officer not human? But if you take a step back, and look at the facts in an objective way...you start to see that this is not necessarily the actions of a racist, insensitive police officer on a power trip. Sure, at some point another officer was able to confirm that the Moats' story was true. I'm not sure what point that happened at. Adrenaline is a funny thing...I can imagine it was difficult to 'stand down' at that point. Does that make it right though?
One thing that I have reaffirmed for me in this story, and I hope you are all able to look at and take to heart is that we should not be so quick to judge the actions of others. There is so much going on that we will never know, that we cannot even hope to know. Two lives, officer Robert Powell and Ryan Moats, have been journeying independently from the time of their births up until this situation. They have had different upbringings, different beliefs, and different experiences. Each factor, each variable adds a new twist, a new wrinkle into the story. What we are left with is a mess that no person on Earth is qualified to untangle. We try, and we take comfort in the masses that are so quick to point the finger in the same direction that we are. Just be careful, because those fingers can so easily be swayed against you. And then you find yourself pulled over on the way to see a dying loved one, arguing with an unreasonable police officer. You find yourself put into a situation having to make a split second decision between empathy and survival. What will you do? How will they react? Who is right, and who is wrong?
I've been reading several comments on one of the ESPN articles from readers...it's sad that so many people are so certain of so many things...the real truth of this whole matter is that it was a very unfortunate event for all involved, and the aftermath has birthed the emergence of our age-old tendency as people to pass our judgements on our fellow man.
Post script- I've always been a little leery of preachers or speakers who claim that they did not know what they were going to say and then 'BAM' they received a divine message from a talking trash can that will self destruct in 10 seconds and so you better listen...
I think that Inspector Gadget is where my intense dislike of cats was birthed. And arm chairs. And metal arms with spiked bracelets.
I mean, they could very well be telling the truth...but it has always reeked of propaganda to me. Like, 'this message is obviously divinely inspired, therefore you should listen to it'.
So with that disclaimer...I had an epiphany after writing this. I wasn't visited by an angel. There were no trumpets blaring. It was just me and my thoughts. But oh what a thought!
Jesus came to fulfill the (spiritual*) law because THE LAW WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAW! Now, maybe some of you have already latched on to this. If so, congrats. You can probably stop reading now. But think about this...we all lament the fact that there is so much gray in the world. We try and apply our black and white moral code to situations that cannot possibly be weighed on the scales of human justice. And it isn't like having more information will make things easier...in fact, the more info we have sometimes the harder it is to make a judgement call.
I'm not advocating relativism, I'm not saying that God intened a blank slate for morality. What I'm saying is that we try to apply this code to our lives, to each other, to humanity. I don't think that's what it was for. Sure, it helps us to live right. But I believe that the law was created to show humanity that it could not, on its own merit, live up to the standards of holiness.
Too often we get caught up in using the law to judge others, and to exalt ourselves in our own eyes. The truth is we have all broken the law. Even by breaking the smallest part, we have broken the whole thing. We are not innocent in this. It makes me mad when people are like, 'Are Muslims going to hell? Are Buddhists going to hell? Are gays going to hell?'. We are all in the same boat, humanity is in the same boat. That's the point. That is what Jesus did. He fulfilled the law, he fulfilled the standard. By His sacrifice, we are now able to live up to what we could not do on our own.
Now I just have to figure out how the first part led to the second part...
*- When I say 'law', it's like in the Ten Commandments sense, although not explicitly just the Ten.
Pictures:
Ryan Moats- http://i.a.cnn.net/si/football/2005/draft/players/images/ryan_moats.jpg
Dr. Claw- http://cartoonoveranalyzations.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/drclaw.jpg
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