Congratulations! It's a....blank....slate.

Interesting reading for a Tuesday morning...

First of all, let me just say that you need to read the article before you get on to my blog. Really, most of my hyperlinks are passable (even if they are amazing), but the article is absolutely essential to just knowing what the heck I'm even talking about.

Read it yet? Ugh. Seriously guys, I'm not playing around. Go read it, then come back.

Okay. So now that we're all on the same page, I can commence with my well-thought out, not-shotgunned, and brilliantly executed commentary.

I grew up loving Mitch Albom's writing. As a sports freak who diligently read Dad's copies of the Detroit Free Press to follow the local teams, I had several opportunities to read his work, and I loved it. He was an award winning writer for a Detroit newspaper. That was awesome. It was like being friends with the popular kid in school, except you weren't really friends, you just knew about him and what he did and he didn't know you from Adam. Which, come to think about it, is exactly how my relationships with popular people were.

Why do I give that background info? No reason. Just making small talk. Geez, does everything have to have a reason?

Back to the article that I posted and had you read and then chastised you for not reading- I think Mr. Albom brings up some good points. I believe that parents do serve a very vital part of the early years of their children and their understanding and navigation of the world. I'm not going to sit here and tell the world that I have solved the nature/nurture debate. But having two young children, I do believe that we play a significant role in our children's development- especially in their understanding of gender roles.

I know, I know, gender roles are changing. But there are still some old stand-bys. Woman have kids. Men blow stuff up. Most of the rest is auxiliary. Maybe not most of the rest. My point is that even in the midst of gender upheaval, there are some universal truths. Don't be swayed by isolated cases- there are just some things that our genders are predisposed to.

Whether you feel it is right or wrong, teaching gender roles to our children helps to teach them the boundaries they will need to navigate the very complex and unstable world that they will live in. The human experience is this exponentially unique journey for each and every single person. With an infinite number of chronically shifting facets, gender roles at least give us a foundation upon which we can explore not only the external world- but eventually our internal one as well.

I mean, why are they even worried about pre-school age kids having gender identity crises anyways? Kids aren't able to think abstractly like we are. That means that the notion of gender identity apart from their "private parts" is most likely not a concept that they can grasp. I can understand some ambiguity if the child is born with both male and female anatomy. Again though, that's one of those 'exception vs. rule' things. By and large, most kids either have the peg or the hole. Sorry folks- I should have warned you that we're in the grown up zone now. We will be talking about adult things in an adult way.

All that said, I do feel like much of his argument is setting up a straw man. Albom goes off on tangents about letting a child "decide to change its own diaper....[or] decide when to do a feeding...". Now it is true that I haven't read the story or article that he refers to. I don't know, maybe they are these super "progressive" parents that allow their children to make all the choices which would make Albom's hypothetical situations more applicable. But I'm operating on the assumption that he is using these examples in the context of gender roles. And so he is way out in left field somewhere. But that's okay class- I got this. I got this.

Also, I have to admit that in some ways, it is admirable that the parents have such a view on the defining of our identity based largely on our gender. So much of who we are is decided by external forces around us- forces that we are usually ignorant of. It seems that these people are trying to allow their children to grow up without external pressures or ideas- or at least to keep those things to a minimum. I like the idea of children growing up with their own paint brushes and their own ideas to paint on their own canvas. It's naive, yes, but it's the type of idealism that I can almost sorta stand behind.

It is so easy to fall into the gender role trap. Not only are there the preconceived notions that we have about how to teach the role of man or woman to our children, but there are also societal expectations and cultural phenomenon (such as clothes, toys, television, etc.) that tend to herd us in one direction or another. It's no accident that my daughter loves pink and My Little Ponies. And my son plays with cars and pretends to be a sumo wrestler. Because that's what little girls and little boys do.

Then we hit adolescence and young adulthood and we realize that we really don't know who we are. So much of what we have clung to in the past is either vanished or drastically changed, and we find ourselves strewn on the rock of identity. Middle school is hell, because it's hundreds of hormonally driven youngsters all trying to forge these new identities at the same time. There are bound to be casualties. There is bound to be collateral damage. Maybe this couple from Toronto is trying to help their children get a head start, to go through these painful times while under the protective umbrella of their parents. So they'll be the Zen kids in sixth grade that tell the other kids when to wax on and when to wax off.

Of course, those parents are wrong. The father said that he feels it is "obnoxious" that parents make "so many choices for their children". But that is part of the parent role, isn't it? Children don't have all the information. Not right away, at least- it isn't til they hit 7 or 8 where they really have a complete understanding of how the world works. I mean, if we just allowed our children to make their their own choices, we might as well just let them be feral children. Right? Isn't part of our job to be "obnoxious"?

Children do not grow up in a vacuum. Every society has a structure. Within that structure, we all have roles. We don't know those roles when we arrive on the scene- we have to be taught. Teaching implies that there is one party knows and the other party doesn't. Parents have a responsibility in our society to help their children to learn the ropes. Sometimes that means we let them make terrible decisions and help them pick up the pieces. Sometimes that means we put our foot down and make decisions for them. And sometimes that means we put our foot down and make terrible decisions for them and then let them figure out how to pick up the pieces.

Making a choice for our children now doesn't mean that choice is written in stone. You can steer them in a direction and allow them to take the wheels from there. We make choices for our children- but we acknowledge our own shortcomings, and we give them the freedom to explore- but it is within a foundation built on structured roles and expectations. So parents, don't be afraid to parent. Your child might not thank you for it now, or later. But it's the right thing to do. On that, I agree with Mr. Albom wholeheartedly.

New (old?) blogs preview (postview? I'm so confused)

Almost two weeks ago, I wrote about my plans for my blog. If you didn't read it, let me recap: I realized that I was trying to spread myself too thin, and that my lack of focus was hurting my ability to really take this blog anywhere. The end. I realize that I hyperlinked to that blog and that you could read for yourself what I said, but I like to think of myself as a nice guy, so I decided to give you the synopsis. But since I'm also a narcissist, I decided to hyperlink it as well. Gets my page view count up.

Of course, plans change. After I wrote that blog, I had a friend recommend tumblr to me as an excellent writing community and means to procure a new audience and helpful critical feedback. I decided to give it a go, and what was once one blog has now been reborn as a three headed monster. I realize that it seems silly. And it is. So then, let's review my blog roster!

If you're reading this, you're at my home base blog. It has been, and will be, the blog of choice for anyone who is concerned with keeping up a trendy image. That might be a lie. The restructuring will give this blog more of a social science/humanities focus. Anything from overpopulation to religion to sociology to gender roles- you name it. Actually, don't name it. I have a limited arsenal and a diminishing vocabulary. Allow me to dictate this blog on my terms.

This is my old new blog that is on tumblr. It's called 'Backwards Pants'. It's been in existence for about five days. Backwards Pants exists primarily to expand my audience/readership base. Everything (at least, that's the plan right now) I post on here will be posted on there. However, I will have some new stuff on tumbr as well, including my long-awaited return to the poetry sector. Tumblr will serve as my potpourri outlet- if I get the urge to write about Megamind, I'll do it there. Should I garner up the courage to revisit my Super Bowl MVP reassessment, those football players will be wearing Backwards Pants.

This is my new new blog (and the reason why I'm making a second housekeeping post in a weeks time). It's pure unadulterated silliness, and is based on my long-standing love of sketch comedy. The basic premise is that Darth Vader has been stationed on Earth, in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. He lives in a fictional residence- 411 Sojourn Boulevard. To save on expenses and household maintenance, he decides to take on a couple of roommates. His roommates? Dr. Manhattan from the Watchmen and Ezio Auditore from the Assassins Creed.

To me, the idea of these three drastically different (and completely made-up) universes coming together and interacting in a fourth completely different (but actual) universe- is hilarious and should be tons of fun to try and spin. I think it will stretch me as a writer as well- trying to write character-specific parts and using things like dialogue are not a normal part of my repertoire. To speak plainly- I am stoked out of my mind about this project.

I'm still doing 'research' for this blog, and plot lines are still being hatched. By 'research', I mean reading comics and playing video games. So even if the blog fails- it's definitely winning. I'm hoping to have a post up in a few days. No promises about frequency thereafter- I want to make sure that I have a good hold on the individual characters before I plunge in, and I don't want to sacrifice my award-winning philanthropist insights.

Okay, I'm done with my glorified office memos for awhile. I will soon resume my regularly scheduled dissemination of unique insights, humor, and factoids that will illuminate your brains and make you live happily ever after.

We want our change like a tax refund- high profit, low effort

I imagine that the thought process of myself is like a railway system. Each thought is like a train depot, and each train is the neuron that connects the thoughts. The passengers are the links between my thoughts. Instead of a system of train tracks, there is a series of magic portals. A train will be at one depot and then all of a sudden *POOF* it's at another one, and then *POOF* it's somewhere else now with a series of new thoughts that are all somehow linked together. You think I'm brilliant now? Wait til I get going! (I've used that hyperlink idea before, but it's so funny that it deserves a sequel)

My best bud Charlie (I'm totally playing up the level of our friendship in hopes that he'll notice me) and I were talking about the child abuse statistics of Marquette County this morning, and how he's going to present that as a challenge to the pastors and people at tonight's FireUp: Encounter service. Having worked with abused and neglected kids for over four years, I know first hand a taste of the dire need that population has. The church has surely made an impact- but things are getting worse, not better, and so Charlie feels the need to shake the tree a little bit.

When I got home, I started thinking about the concept of child abuse/neglect as a solvable problem and wondered if it is. I mean, it's such a multi-faceted issue. You have to take into account macro-level factors like unemployment rates and cost of living. Then you factor in the mezzo-level stuff- open or isolated community, direct support network, family relationships. Finally, it comes down to each individual person and their issues- mental health, physical, emotional, spiritual. Oh, and don't forget the unique challenges that come from not only raising a child- but raising that specific child.

So right now, I can't think of a solution that could completely eliminate child abuse and neglect. We can fight it, combat it, knock it down a little bit. But it's a systemic issue that isn't going to change right this second.

Then I started thinking about the concept of change in general. And how it is too big. Too wide. Too broad. Too quick.

One of my favorite anecdotal stories is the one where the guy throws the starfish back into the ocean. I hyperlinked it so that you didn't have to suffer through my inevitable slaughtering of the story. Just know that it's a huge keystone in my own personal philosophy of life.

Then I started thinking about Jesus and His life on Earth. And I realized something else- that not even the life of Jesus changed the whole world. Let that idea sink in a little bit: Not even the life of Jesus changed the whole world.

Now I don't mean that in a blasphemous way at all- obviously Jesus' time on Earth has had an enormous impact. But did the whole world get saved when He was kicking it in Jerusalem? Did all the Christian churches that have ever existed suddenly spring up as He walked around in Nazareth? No. And I'm pretty sure that Jesus would agree with me.

After all, didn't He leave it to His disciples to go out into all the world and preach the Gospel? Isn't that the reason the Holy Spirit came to Earth- to assist with the change process? Jesus gave sermons to multitudes and masses- but the most significant changes came in his interaction with individuals. If memory serves, most of the miracles Jesus performed were of a one-on-one variety. True, many times those miracles were an instantaneous change of their own right- instantly healed, instantly well, instantly delivered- but even those miracles served the worldwide societal change of turning the hearts of nations back to the Father in a gradual, life by life fashion.

And it makes sense, really. Think about the idea of massive change, or widespread change- it can be clumsy, unwieldy, and even be met with resistance. We want change- but when it comes, we often fight it. So change has to be a slow process. It's like building up an immunity to a poison...say, Iocaine Powder (second Princess Bride reference- I am literally on a roll right now). You don't just ingest a bunch of it at once- you take it in, bit by bit, until your body forgets that the odorless/tasteless/instantly dissolving in liquid substance that you just flavored your coffee with is actually among the most deadliest poisons known to man.

But we don't always want to wait for things to change. Especially right now, we live in a world where people want change so badly that they are literally trading their lives for it. And I don't mean to belittle the enormity of their sacrifice, nor say that it is a vain effort. Sometimes those things need to happen for change to happen.

But I look at our country, and how the government works to enact policies that define so much of the way that our lives progress. A new party comes into power, makes its policies, and basically waits for them to fail. Because we want that change you promised, we want it now- and obviously your policy isn't working, so it needs to go and you need to go as well.

That's why I wouldn't be surprised in the least if Barack Obama is a one-term president. I'm not trying to debate whether or not he should be- but I can definitely see it. He campaigned on the back of one idea- change. He promised change. Widespread change. Sweeping change.

And many people fell for it. What were they thinking? Did they think that Obama would be able to magically make all sorts of changes happen right away? And did they think that those changes that he did make would just all of a sudden happen? Again, I'm not speaking to his qualities as a Commander-in-Chief, but I'm speaking more to the expectations I feel that people had about his presidency before it even started (which in all fairness were largely fueled by the campaign promises that he made).

We can't sit around and wait for government programs and policies to be the change that we want to be in the world. That's like sitting around and watching the glaciers slowly move across the continent, except that sometimes a glacier will be suddenly *POOFED* away and replaced by a newer, shinier glacier that is surely just waiting its turn in the teleportation line.

I know that there are services and programs that do good things. I don't want to take away from them and their efforts. Again, as with my thoughts on organized religion, there are good things being done by places like a Teaching Family Homes or a Department of Human Services. There are worthy causes promoting societal change that are worthy to be invested in. But we have to be people willing to enact change in our own personal realm of influence. We have to understand that change is a process. And we have to be willing to have the patience to see that change through until the end.

Passion play

My cousin is pretty phenomenal. He's the other half of the famous Scottish Cousins that terrorized Alma and several Parks family Christmases. He went to the Ohio State University because U-M screwed him over (that might not be true). He's a NASA man. He competitively swing dances. He rocks a fedora. Every day, he takes a picture of whatever he's doing at 7:59 p.m.- just so you know what he's doing every day at 7:59. Geez, I feel like I'm writing a spot for the Most Interesting Man man. But that's just who he is. He's like Miles Davis.

So why did I write this paragraph of gushing praise? It's to let you know two things.

1) The following piece (in italics) was written by him as a Facebook note.

2) It would have been an amazing piece had anyone else written it. The fact that he wrote it means that it is amazing multiplied by all that stuff I said about him. To say that it had a Deep Impact on me would be to say that Ryan Reynolds is 'cute'.

Anyways, I'll stop talking (for now). Here is what he wrote.

This week there has been a big flap about the second coming of Jesus thanks to Harold Camping and his followers. Anyone who reads the overt literal text of the new testament can see that the bible is clear that no one knows when Christ will return. So in view of this, I've done my share of making fun of them. But in the middle of all of that, something has bothered me.

I never hoped that they were right.

Today, May 22, is the day after the end of the world. And for the people who sincerely believed that yesterday was supposed to be different, it's got to be unsettling. "Obviously I was wrong, but how much have I been wrong about?" The fact that the sun came up today finding everyone still on earth would shake my faith if I were in their shoes.

The thing is I believe the bible does say that Christ will come again... sometime. But, if Christ never came, I doubt that it would shake my faith. Which makes me ask, do I really believe it?

In the same way that the followers of Harold Camping are asking themselves how much they were wrong about, I find myself asking how much I actually believe. What are the parts of my worldview that, if I were wrong about, would shake my life to the core?

Honestly, I'm not sure if there's anything. And as someone who claims to follow Jesus, that troubles me. It troubles me that I have not arranged my life around the things I claim to believe. It troubles me that I have not pushed all my chips to the center of the table. I have diversified my portfolio of belief, between Christianity and deism. And in doing so, I can't help but think that the impact of my life is less than it could be.

People of passion make a difference. And say what you will about Harold Camping, for the last month or so, his passion has made a difference in his world.

People of passion make a difference. People with passion for the right things make the right difference.

Lord, give me a passion for the right things.

After reading that, I realized that I haven't really ever been a person of passion either. Not just with this Jesus thing- I mean with everything. Sure, I've had passions, but there are no passion fission chain reactions in my internal fuel rod core.

Before I get too rock-n-roll, let's look at what Mr. Dictionary has to say about passion. I'm only listing what I feel to be the relevant-to-blog definitions.

Passion (taken from dictionary.com)
–noun
1.any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
6.a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.
8.an outburst of strong emotion or feeling.

So I can breathe easy. I've had moments of passion before. Felt a powerful feeling? Check. Extravagant fondness? I can think of a few. Outburst of strong emotion? Uh huh. But what about being a person of passion- a person not merely experiencing passion, but living their life in a passionate fashion?

Passionate - adjective 1. having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling; fervid

Houston, we have a problem.

I've always been like an outsider looking in. My emotional spectrum doesn't have very many colors, and the ones it has aren't well developed. I'm an objective observer in a subjective life. I exist primarily in my mind. Life happens all around me, and I watch. I soak it all in, playing out the scenarios in my brain, trying to unravel the mysteries without so much as a peep or a facial twitch.

When I first got 'saved', it was largely because of fear- my scattered base of biblical knowledge started to bubble up when I was in my first collegiate tour of duty. I was afraid of the end of the world. I was having thoughts of Jesus coming back and me being left there as my mom and sister were whisked away. At night, I began to pray 'Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep' because I was afraid of what might happen to my soul if I were to suddenly pass away. Eventually, through a series of what I still believe to be divinely orchestrated events, I found a church, and I found Jesus. I did the whole sinners prayer thing, and I was off and running- and my fear of God was fed continuously by things like Y2K, the Left Behind books, and 9/11. And when I say 'fear of God', I don't mean the 'reverent awe that is the gateway to wisdom' fear. I mean the 'Crap, I better toe the line so I don't get zapped' fear.

Even in those days, I was not a passionate person. I was never "on-fire" for God- at least not in a way that I envision people being on-fire. Several times I have heard the verse from Revelations admonishing believers to "return to your first love" and it might as well have been delivered in a foreign language. I do believe that I have loved God with all of the ability to do so that I could muster. But I've never had true passion or zeal for the Lord- because I've never had an inner well to draw these things from.

The Facebook note really brought all of these issues to a head, and I realized that I had become perched on a precipice of sorts. A professing Christian man who has been hedging his bets with a faith that in reality has sort of danced between deism and pragmatic agnosticism. A thirst for knowledge, a desire to challenge the conventions of our society (including the religious systems)- and a deeply held belief that Jesus is who I have been told He is.

See even though I question things about the Bible- and sometimes feel like just disregarding it altogether- I cannot shake the fact that for all my faults and flaws and mistakes and half-faiths and doubts and questions, I have had meetings with spiritual forces greater than my own understanding in the name of Jesus. I met and eventually married an amazing woman in the name of Jesus. I started playing drums in the name of Jesus. So to me, there simply has to be something to this Jesus.

I suppose the preceding paragraphs could be seen as an exposure of a fraud. After all, I've been a youth leader. I've worked at a Christian bookstore and a Christian school. I've played worship music for over ten years. All without having a life that was defined by a passionate pursuit of the One to whom I said I was living for.

I disagree though. I feel that I've loved God and lived a Christian life to the best of my abilities for these past 12 years. But I know now that this is not enough. The note my cousin posted on Facebook resonated very deeply with me. I realized that I have managed for these 32 years of life to be a shallow surface person. That doesn't just go for God- that's friends, family, and even my wife. I constantly keep things in the kiddie pool because not only am I unsure of what lies in the depths of myself, but I'm not sure how to get there. A friend spoke a word over me a few years ago, telling me that I was like an 'iceberg of greatness'. I've been lying in wait for most of my life, slightly visible from the surface. But now the great ship Titanic has come (in this analogy, my cousins writing) and struck in a place that no one could have possibly imagined if they were merely glancing at the oceans top.

So what now? A clean slate- a God-sanctioned do-over. In a place of brokenness Sara and I came together last night to pray about all this. As I prayed I felt this sense of heavy, overwhelming peace just flood my being. At the same time, I felt a sort of weightlessness. It was amazing! Afterward I started to try and think of any sort of physiological causes- and I stopped. I realized that whether it was the physically manifest presence of the Lord or some sort of neurological response was irrelevant. The fact is that I prayed and felt the most intense, yet softest, peace I have ever felt. And it happened during a prayer. To this Jesus. I don't need a reason. I don't need a reason.

So this is me starting to go all in. This is me pushing my chips gently to the center of the table. This is me building my faith not upon fear of the end, but upon tangible peace that engulfs me. This is me- becoming a person of passion.

It's the end of the world as they knew it

Well, May 21st has come and gone. No earthquakes, a small volcano in Iceland, a 6.1 earthquake in New Zealand, beautiful weather in Marquette (and some sunburn on the arms)- and no Rapture. No judgment day. Life as we know it for now goes on- at least for most of us.

Right now, I'm feeling simultaneously sorry for and pissed off at the people that bought into this whole 'May 21st Judgment Day Rapture Apocalypse' crap. I imagine that most of them were probably well meaning people trying to live lives pleasing to the Lord. They probably caught wind of Señor Camping's teachings, saw him throw some sweet Bible verses together with some phat numerology, figured that this guy knew what he was talking about, and decided to go all out and follow the May 21st movement.

But the reckless abandon that these people exhibited in their pursuit of this thing is a little disconcerting. After having failed on a previous end of the world prediction...why would they believe this guy? He's been wrong before! Fool me once, shame on Harold Camping, fool me twice? Fancy numbers and exact dates and self confidence- that don't impress me much. Look, there's two things you need to know about numbers:

1) Numbers never lie

2) Numbers can always be made to lie

What I mean is that numbers by themselves are as objective of a data source as we can hope to find on this planet. People experience most things in different ways, but if I have three apples, it doesn't matter whether you like them or not. I have three apples (boo-yah). But numbers can also be manipulated. Any good statistician can take survey/poll results and spin them to make you think exactly what they want you to think. And if you allow symbolic numbers to enter into the equation? Then you're basically cutting out the middleman and humming the Pied Piper's tune to yourself.

That's what Camping did. Basically he took some Bible stuff, mixed with his own Colonel Sanders concoction and POOF- instant Judgment day! Just add naivety, 'dumb' sheep mentality, and sincere hearts and you have a movement that got way more followers and press than it really should have. Most people knew this was ridiculous. Even most Christians were able to point to Matthew 24:36 and say 'Hey, I don't think this is correct'.

And now it's May 22nd, and those people are being forced to answer the question that merely two days ago seemed so preposterous to them that most of them wouldn't even dare to venture there with their thoughts.

So how do they bounce back? I mean, getting laughed at and scorned and mocked is probably the least of the worries. After all, that's part of the Christian tradition- you join up and just brace yourself for the persecution. So if anything, that would seem to be a minor thing. Shoot, this could be a way to seriously amp up those persecution points. Maybe I should have jumped on the bandwagon... Although it could be argued that they don't really get persecution points because they did this to themselves. If a damsel knocks on the ogre's door and jumps into his arms, can she really claim to be distressed?

But seriously- I read about a guy who spent $140,000 on advertising for this thing out of his own savings. A family stopped saving for their kids college because they figured 'what's the point?'. Another young family quit their jobs, spent their savings, and budgeted all their money up until May 21st. It'd all be fricking hilarious- if it wasn't people's lives (especially children) at stake.

That's just it though. This thing did have serious ramifications on those lives. People will wake up on May 22 with no means of financially supporting themselves. Their children will want food that just isn't there. Seeds of doubt will no doubt begin to creep into the minds of some, while others will forever shut that door in their minds because of this experience. Yes, there's the whole free will/personal choice angle- people are responsible for what they do with their own lives. Unfortunately, a religious system that can foster a culture of dependence does deserve at least a little bit of the blame. If our churches taught us to look at things critically- maybe someone like Camping fades quickly from the spotlight. Maybe Jim Jones doesn't coin the phrase "drink the kool-aid".

We all like to think that we are somehow immune to being deceived- that we have to be in the know because of x or y, and there is really no way that Satan is slipping one past our goalie. But do you really think that the Squad 5-21 woke up one morning and thought 'Hey, you know what? I really feel like being deceived this morning. I think I'm gonna turn on the radio and give up everything to follow the first crackpot I find'. Sure, there is wisdom in the Bible. Yes, there are pastors and speakers that can share messages that impact our lives. But at some level, we have to be able to think for ourselves. Maybe God doesn't want you to quit your job and move to another state- maybe you just feel homesick. It's highly possible that you weren't called to Ezio that abortion doctor- does it really make sense to kill in the name of pro-life? It could be that some wires got crossed and you were supposed to give that $140,000 to a more worthy cause- like me.

I hope the best for the May 21ers- especially the ones with young children. But I also hope that their tales will remain as cautionary reminders that if we merely listen to persuasive peddlers that we could very well end up on the other side of judgment day.

Nomad noses

This goes out to Phil. You know who you are.

Surprise! America is in the news (once again) for intruding on the business of other nations- this time for (once again) trying to play the part of Middle East peace keeper. Admittedly, I will be spewing more rhetoric than research here, but sometimes you just need to speak from the heart. Or the gut. Or whatever body part that these things come from (evidence is probably inconclusive. I vote gut).

I didn't look up specifics, but every president I can remember has tried to earn his stripes in the Middle East Peace arena. It must be some hidden part of the Oath of Office- I, state your name, do solemnly swear to try and make the nations of the Middle East kiss and make up. That's the only possible reason that I can think of (other than the hope of future deals on gasoline) to consistently trying to get involved in an arena that we really don't belong in.

It's completely ridiculous. It's beyond absurd. Who do we think we are, anyways? Who appointed us to be the Green Lantern Corps of Earth? I think someone may have spiked our Manifest Destiny because now we're all stumbling around with beer goggles trying to challenge any country that gets in our path.

So what's the big deal? Why shouldn't we try and fix the problems of the world- we're America, dammit!!!

There's a significant ideological gap that we stubbornly seem to think is either inconsequential or is going to go away. It would almost be like having the mediator of the NFL lockout be a woman who hates football (stereotype, I know, I know) and big business. No matter how good or noble her intentions may be, she's probably not going to be able look at both sides of the issue. She doesn't side with the football players because football kidnaps her husband every weekend. And she doesn't side with the owners, because they're billionaires. What does this leave us with? NO FOOTBALL.

It's tough to take yourself out of the equation. When those presidents go over there and do their little song and dance- well, aside from not being able to truly understand what the issues/ramifications of whatever proposal they conjured up are, the question is if they can truly put aside the needs and wants of their own nation in this? Is it possible to put together an objective peace plan for another country? Surely our own interests muddy things up just a little bit. There's just no way that in our global society a country can selflessly help two other countries work out a peace agreement without taking itself into consideration.

Plus, we aren't exactly Thelma and Louise with the Middle East. They don't trust us. They don't like us (putting it nicely). They burn our flags in the streets. If they held an American Idol in the Middle East, except the singers symbolized countries that you liked, America would be systematically destroyed. Simon would issue his most scathing rebuke ever, Randy would say something about our yo dog- even Paula wouldn't be able to find something nice to say about us. We definitely wouldn't get to Hollywood and Ryan Seacrest would punch us in the nose, kick us in the gut, and then point a loaded weapon right at our face. I really hope that the producers on FOX aren't reading this- I'd hate to give them any ideas.

Looking at the state of our country right now, I think that the last thing President Obama should be doing is fronting any sort of Middle East peace talks. We have more than enough problems on the home front to keep the Commander-in-Chief busy. But then again, maybe that's why our presidents try to do things like this. It's like the guy who works all the time because he doesn't want to go home and deal with all the drama. Or the woman who is quick to try and solve the problems of her friends so that she doesn't have to think about her lazy unfaithful husband. It's more work to solve our own problems, and it reflects more poorly on us when we fail. So we go off and try to be Mr. Fixit for someone else. It's much easier to live in Pretend Land than it is in Realityville.

There's a reason that grown-ups tell us to keep our noses out of other peoples business. Eventually, somebody will let a big fart and you will have a choice to make. Do you smell it, and thus claim dealership? Or do you suffer in silence? That was a terrible analogy, but you get my point. We should stick to smelling our own farts (which can, at times, be moderately pleasant). And as the United States of America, we should keep out of other countries' dirty laundry. Let Israel and Palestine figure it out on their own. And if things get too escalated- well, isn't that what the UN is for? (Actually, what is the UN for?)

(I'm supposed to say something about child leashes too. So there. I said it. Obligation- fulfilled. Or should I say...fulPhil'd).

Brain stew (also you can call this one The End of an Era?)

It's sort of funny (in a kick-myself-in-the-face sort of way) to think back at the beginning of the year and remember how I was going to try to blog every day. That went well- for about two weeks. But I still kept up with it- a little bit. Then it became about a once-per-week deal. Then it went...well, it went away. Gone. Le Poof. All of a sudden, I had nothing to say. No wise thoughts or wisecracks. I thought about ending the blog. Blowing it up. Starting over from scratch.

In the past couple weeks, I have been revitalized. You wouldn't know it from the lack of posts from yours truly (although lets be honest- yesterdays offering was all sorts of scintillating), but slowly my madness faded and was replaced with...(drama build, crescendo, italics/bold combo....aaaaaanndd...) Educated Focus.

See, I realized a couple things. First of all, I was trying for maximum output with minimum input. Lots of thoughts and ideas were going out- but not a whole lot was going in. I mean, I was reading things- trying to follow the news, checking out the Heroclix forums, reading Dr. Seuss books- but nothing was really happening to get my thinker thinking. It occurred to me that I was much like a bottle of Mountain Dew. On January 1st, 2011, I was a 20 oz. of blistering potential. But I kept being sipped and chugged and drank until eventually all that was left was some warm soda and backwash. And nobody likes that. Not even the parched desert. I knew then that I needed to become less like a bottle of Dew and more like a fountain drink- skimp the ice (or useless crap in this analogy), pour in the Dew (sometimes mixing it with fruit punch- this is the influx of new smarts) and be an endless supply of amazing knowledgeisms. Of course, you have to get up to get the refill (AKA take time to do reading/research) so there is some lag time between full glasses of liquid awesome- but when you get it back to the table, it takes your whole meal to another level.

Secondly, I decided that I needed to focus my focus. I love writing about many different things- but without a singularish purpose, it became increasingly difficult figure out what I wanted to write about. Sure, sometimes I would get nailed with a burst of inspiration (a caffeine high, if we're continuing the Mt. Dew analogy...on second thought, we should let it die) and posts would practically write themselves. Other times though- nothing. I would have five or six posts started about five or six different topics, but no real drive or gumption to finish them. The draft of two weeks ago about Super Bowl MVPs would lie unfinished because I was busy thinking about Street Fighter. My expose on Megamind remained dormant because Delaney got Tangled for her birthday. Basically I realized that I could not sustain a potpourri blog with an ADD attention span, young children, and largely varied interests. In a nutshell, I was at a crossroads (+2 life points for combining 2 cliche's into one sentence).

So what did I decide to do? By now you're hoping that I actually did decide something so that you don't have to read another one of these not-really-a-blog-blogs. Well rest assured friends, I have made my decision. And since I couldn't get ESPN on board to televise my own Decision, you get to read about it here first!

What I have decided to do is to turn this blog (youshouldknowjasonparks.blogspot.com, you know, the one you're reading) into one primarily focused on my quest to study and learn about humanity. You surely remember my ill-fated series, Textbook Tuesday, right? Well, I'm planning on turning this blog into an on-going version of that. I want to use this as a means of processing all of the things I learn and hopefully share some insight/knowledge/ideas with everyone. I'm not going to turn this into textbooktuesday.blogspot.com though, so don't worry about having to remember a new favorite URL. This blog title has always been a symbol to me about the intrinsic value in each one of us based on our uniqueness. Yes you should know Jason Parks- because I'm the only me. I have my own insights and life experiences and beliefs that can hopefully help you understand humanity a little bit better. But that same concept applies to everyone else as well. That'd be a lot of names to throw into the title though. So I, Jason Parks, selflessly have become an avatar for the whole of the human race. That is probably a disconcerting thought. You may want to turn away from your screen if you have a weak constitution.

But I can't just completely abandon my varied interests and inane silliness- after all, that's a big part of the Jason Parks experience, and I would be amiss if I deprived the world of my ticking clock. So what I have decided to do is create a second blog which I am particularly excited about and anxious to unveil to you. I don't want to give too much away- just know that it hopes to involve a little bit of quantum physics, Renaissance Italy, and Synth-crystals.

Yes, you heard me correctly. I, the guy who has one blog that he can't keep up with, am going to add a second blog. But fear not- I am making no claims about post frequency. Not anymore. I plan only to post when I am inspired/smart enough to give you the very best. It may mean you get a bunch in a row- it may mean that I go awhile without posting. But in the end, I feel pretty good about the direction I want to take this blog, and I hope that each endeavor will find you with exactly what you might need at any given moment. And if not- let me know (in as nice and suck-uppish of a way as possible).

Youshouldknowjasonparks.blogspot.com is dead. Long live youshouldknowjasonparks.blogspot.com!

Pray against the music

Hello friends. It's been awhile, so let me give a brief refresher course on how I roll. I give you my own personal thoughts, opinions, insights, feelings, etc. I back up any claims I make with largely anecdotal evidence. You are then blown away by the persuasiveness of my arguments, the passion with which I write, and thus I break down the walls of your presupposition and convert you to whatever cause I might be championing in the moment. Everybody up to speed? Okay, good.

I've been processing the role of music in regards to our worship in the corporate setting- specifically, the fact that most of the worship bands I've been on spend pre-service prayer time basically praying against the music we are about to preform.

What I mean is, we pray things like "God, it doesn't matter if we play the wrong notes, we just want to worship you". Or, "Lord, the music doesn't matter, what matters is that our hearts are prostrate before you". Or, "Lord, please bless me with a brand new job and lots of money" Maybe not the last one. I've heard (and prayed) these same types of prayers hundreds of times over the past ten years. But when we do this- aren't we praying to separate the music from the worship? It's almost like we're trying to cast a demon out. We make the music a pariah- a necessary evil, something to be tolerated and not enjoyed or even embraced, in any way. I may or may not have stepped into the land of Hyperbole- but don't let my exaggeration keep you from chewing on a very interesting point.

I think a lot of it- for me, anyways, is this battle between pride and excellence. It's like you want to be very good at your instrument, putting in hours of practice time, playing along to songs, singing in the shower- while also being aware that God is not a big fan of pride. It is a fine line, for sure.

(Making assumptions) We want the music that we play to help people connect with God on a deeply emotional level. One of the ways that we know this happened is when people tell us we did a good job. I remember early on, when people would give me compliments on my drumming, I would feel uncomfortable. Not because I felt that I shouldn't be receiving compliments- but because I felt that I should. Heck yeah I did a good job- did you hear that sweet fill I did on Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble? You bet your a** that those mountains were shaking in their boots, baby! I tried the whole fake humility thing, but that's exactly what it was- fake. I believe that me and music being together is because of a stroke of divinity, so it's not like I was thinking I was this drumming big shot. But I also was the dude playing- angels weren't moving my arms, and I didn't have an out-of-body experience in the drum cage. Basically I had a season of tension between wanting to be a great drummer and not wanting anyone to affirm that.

A friend was able to help me out with this- she told me to picture the compliments like flowers. After accumulating a bouquet of 'flowers', I give those flowers to God. It's like when my kids give me a picture that they colored. I know they're showing me because they want me to be involved in what they're doing- they're proud of it, sure, but the only thing that matters to them in that moment is sharing their joy with me. Compliments on my drum work became the same thing. I gladly accepted all the praise and well-dones that were thrown at me, so that I could then share in those awesome moments with my Dad who made it all possible.

Anyhow, that's slightly off topic, but still relevant. It's relevant because I do not believe that musical excellence and spiritual attitude are mutually exclusive. I believe that we should try to make our songs sound as amazing as possible. Otherwise, why even practice? Why not just get up there on stage, with all of our spirituality, and just each worship in our own manner? Or why even have music at all?

I don't think that's the solution- because music is a very powerful medium, and definitely enhances the atmosphere. But I definitely don't want to hear a bunch of musicians going up there and doing their own thing (actually...that might be kind of interesting. Like watching a car accident, except nobody gets hurt or killed). I want cohesion. I want unity.

Our pastor talked today about faith without works being dead. I think the same thing applies to worship music- we can have a super-spiritual attitude about our worship music, and think all sorts of heavenly things about our worship music- but if we aren't applying those thoughts and attitudes to individual and group music greatness- then isn't our worship music dead? Maybe not dead- but slightly injured? Or not feeling well?

As Christian musicians, I believe that we've been given the incredible gift to use our musical talents to not only connect with God for ourselves, but to enable other people to reach deeper levels in their faith. I know that music is a tool and that it isn't the end product. But it's also not an outcast. We can prepare our hearts in such a manner that pursuit of musical excellence is not a hindrance to the Spirit- rather, that pursuit can enable the Spirit to move in even more power.

High fives are for the cool kids, kids are the cool kids

Since September, I've worked at an after-school program at a local, small (think less than 50 students TOTAL) Christian school. It's been a wonderful experience, especially coming off of my last job where I spent about three months in daily turmoil and agony (and while I'm obviously not one prone to exaggeration and hyperbole, I do feel the need to specify here that I am not exaggerating in this instance). I had almost forgot that it is possible to, in fact, actually like what you do.

However, I have struggled at times to figure out my role in this organization. While I feel like I'm providing a very helpful service to the parents and the school (and the kids all really seem to like coming), admittedly there hasn't been as much of a traditional academic focus as I wanted. I've had the kids work on homework at times- but working primarily with 2nd-4th graders, there isn't a lot of homework to be done. And while there is a routine in the overall attendance of each kids (I have some every day, some bi-weekly, some on certain days), the discombobulation in their individual schedules means it is difficult to have any sort of rigidly structured program. Some kids, for instance, are only there for a half-hour before being picked up. Some kids are there for a couple hours. Sometimes I can set the clock by when they'll be picked up. Sometimes I have no clue. It doesn't make sense to me, therefore, to set an hour-by-hour schedule when there's no guarantee that every/anyone will actually get to participate in the standardized activities.

What the after school program has become is organized chaos. Not entirely true, actually- I don't want to give the impression that I'm this sort of lost puppy dog in the middle of a room full of flying toilet paper and screaming children (although, there have been days where it has felt like that). But it's been more of a place for kids to come after school and play and get some energy out. I try to give them a voice about what we're going to do on any given day, letting them decide as a group, and trying to make sure that everyone gets a chance to do something that they want to do.

I've gone back and forth over my rendition of the after school program time and time again, and I think that what it is, is for the best. I have primarily younger children for inconsistent periods of time- and they've been sitting in classrooms all day. They have lots of energy- what better way to get that energy out than by playing? And with my background in behavior modification, I am able to use the situations that they encounter to try and teach them social skills through their play.

So why do I bring all this up? What is the point of making this a blog post? Well, it's really about the role that I see myself growing into right now- a role that actually doesn't have anything to do with my title or my degree. It's the role of the High-Fiver.

Bullock Creekers from the mid-late nineties (and probably earlier/later, but I can only speak from my experience) will no doubt remember Mr. Ostyn. I'm not sure what official title that Mr. Ostyn had with the school, but it really doesn't matter. What I do remember is Mr. Ostyn, standing faithfully in the hall by the cafeteria, waiting for all the Lancer adolescents to pass by on their way to class and holding out his hand in hopes of giving each of them a sweet high five.

This is one of my fondest memories of high school. While I wasn't a social leper, I definitely wasn't a "popular" kid, and the high school years are such an important part of our search for ourselves and acceptance within our peer group. There's so much inter-group destruction for the purpose of self-edification- some of it blatant, most of it subtle, that it's a wonder that so many of us come out of it on the other side in tact. And I would posit that it's largely guys like Mr. Ostyn that help to navigate those choppy waters.

See, Mr. Ostyn was cool. He just had this sort of Yoda-like chillness, a functional sense of humor, and a black and gold Lancer windbreaker. It probably didn't hurt that his son had been a star athlete at the school a few years prior. But most importantly, he had his place by the cafeteria with his outstretched hand and a smile on his face. For the social turbulent high school years, how awesome was it to have an amazing guy like Mr. Ostyn, standing in the same spot like clockwork, always ready to give a high five (and for the dexterous among us, an additional five on the flip side). Maybe some people thought it was corny- but it made me feel like somebody. Like there was somebody that I could interact with and not have to worry about the pseudo-class system.

I don't remember much of my high school education. I remember most of my teachers. I definitely remember many painful, awkward moments and countless mistakes. I'm not saying that Mr. Ostyn made all the bad go away. And on the flip side, Mr. Ostyn wasn't the only positive memory from that time either.

But Mr. Ostyn played a very vital role for me. He made me feel unconditionally accepted. Like I was, in those few seconds, one of the popular kids. Isn't that what so many of us are looking for? We may look in different places or different ways- but we want to feel accepted and loved for who we are, regardless of what we wear or what we look like.

That's where I see my role developing. I'm definitely trying to develop as a professional- I'm not going to show up one day looking like a hippie and speaking surfer (not that Mr. Ostyn did that). But with my personality, I feel like I've been made to be a guy like Mr. Ostyn. I've always had this thing for the scholastic outcasts, the underdogs, the down-and-outers. Maybe I won't save the world by giving out high fives- but maybe I can make a difference in how a kid sees themselves because by playing games with them and throwing out an occasional sweet high five, I can help them to see the truth- that there is acceptance for them that transcends social role.

Please don't tell me what to remember

Like some people in the eastern time zone, I am watching right now pre-coverage of Barack Obamas mysterious ad-lib announcement "coming soon". Does anyone else miss the days when news happened- and wasn't leaked before it was supposed to be news? Seriously, I get tired of learning about things before I should learn about things. Maybe it's the part of me that likes to have things confirmed from legitimate sources.

By the time you read this, you will know that Osama bin Laden is dead. This is a historic moment- if you believe what the news people are telling you. Now, I'm not trying to minimize this event. I know we've spent ten years and countless dollars to find this guy, and I can't speak to how impactful this is to the people that lost loved ones on 9/11.

But it's also tiring watching CNN, waiting for the president to come on and give me this breaking news bulletin, and listening to Wolf Blitzer and some guy who I only know as John throw around all these superlatives about this event. And I don't get it- I just don't get it.

I know that bin Laden is the "face of international terrorism" (and if I didn't, I sure know it now, because they've only said it like 80 times). So this is probably a big deal. However, I also know that this prevailing hatred of America is not going to die with bin Laden. It's not going to go away. This is buried deep within a belief system, an ideology, and just because the figurehead of a terrorist organization is dead doesn't really mean much to me. This isn't going to stop terrorism- in fact, I imagine that it will probably have the opposite effect.

So I don't want to take away what this could mean to those who have waited these ten years to have some closure. I am just sitting here being tired of listening to these talking heads tell me what I should be believing or feeling about this momentous moment. We killed one guy- but unfortunately, we haven't killed the idea that he gave his life for. That's our real enemy.