Well, here it is- the last blog post of the year. On the last night of the year. And you know what? I have nothing to say. Well, not entirely true- I actually have something to say. I just don't have time to say it. Because between the cleaning today, and the spending of time with old friends, and helping move a piano, and spending time making puzzles with my children, and getting ready to have friends over, and playing Mad-libs with my friends on Facebook- I haven't had time to sit down and write down my thoughts about this past year.
And you know what? Maybe that's a good thing. After all, sitting here in a (marginally) clean house, with friends and family- life can't get much better, can it?
Here's hoping that 2011 brings more cleaning, friends, and fun, for all of us. Be safe everyone- and have a happy New Year!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Blow it up and start over: a draft recap gone awry.
After a week of crying myself to sleep, drinking myself into a stupor, and peeing my pants, I have started to come to grips with the fact that the NORTH Michigan Snow Flurries did not make the playoffs- and while I continue to rail against the schedule, the durability of my players, the conclusions of horoscopes, and the results of the lottery, the truth is that I may (possibly) have to accept a little (more) blame about the 4-9 record our team put up. This tale, then, is a tale about the drafting exploits of one man- and how much they sucked.
A comment about my preseason thoughts- my season thoughts- and my moving-forward thoughts. Also- did you see how I showed you how they would be distinguished- without actually telling you? Clever, huh?
Keepers-
RB Michael Turner-He got hurt last season, but there aren't many teams nowadays that have a bell-cow back- and Turner is one of those guys. After a slow start, Turner really picked up and had a very strong season for me. I'm not sure if he'll be a keeper for me again- but if I don't keep him, I'll definitely have to think about drafting him in the first round if I want him again. Grade: B+
QB Tony Romo-The Lord giveth...and, the Lord taketh away. Romo was having a really good season for me when he broke his collarbone in week 7 versus the Giants. I had some decent QB play the rest of the way- but not nearly at the level Romo was performing at. Definitely thinking about him as a keeper- but it'll depend on how he progresses in his recovery. Grade: Incomplete (A- for the games he completed)
Draft-
1- RB Ryan Grant- Green Bay looks like they might have the best offense in the history of ever. While that certainly did not end up being the case (and it is here that I shall choose to gloat about the Lions 7-3 win over the Packers yesterday), it is also not the fault of Ryan Grant. And yet, it is probably his fault- because he didn't even make it out of the first game unscathed. Obviously you count on injuries throughout a football season- but this injury was simply devastating, and we never really recovered. I'd consider him with a mid-round pick- but no higher. Grade: Incomplete (Incomplete for the games he completed- because there was none).
2- WR Steve Smith (NYG)- I can't really afford to whiff with my #2 pick for 2 years in a row. I don't think I would classify this a whiff- but it wasn't an extra base hit either. Another case of the injury bug struck Smith at the midway point of the season- but even when he played, he was a 50/50 proposition (half of his games he didn't reach double digit points). Looking back, I realize that this was a reach. At least I had the best Steve Smith in the league though. That counts for something- right? I'd draft him again- he's an Eli Manning 3rd down favorite- but not before the 4th round. Grade: Incomplete (B- for the games he completed)
3- TE Jermichael Finley- This guy was banged up at times last year. When he was healthy? He was unstoppable. This guy was banged up at times this year. When he was healthy? He was unstoppable. The problem is- he spent every week after week 5 being banged up on Injured Reserve. Another guy I drafted too high- I'd draft him again, but with his injury history, it won't be nearly this high. Grade: Incomplete (A for the games he completed)
4- WR Michael Crabtree- I think that this guy is going to be a stud. I think this guy was a stub. Not quite a dud- he did have 5 double-digit point games, after all- but definitely not stud material. I don't want to give up completely on this guy- but man, I just don't know if the QB situation in San Francisco is going to help him reach the elite level anytime soon. Grade: C
5- WR Dwayne Bowe- If Bowe comes out and lays a goose-egg...then I will come back and edit this post. For the early part of the season, it looked like I was going to have to come back and eat some crow. 3 of his first 4 games were sub-5 pointers. And even the last 2 weeks have been stinkers. In between though? A magical run of 5 20-point outings in 7 games (including a pair of 30+ pointers) that really carried my team. Thanks for the memories Dwayne. A real candidate for a keeper position- but the last two weeks have me a little cautious. Grade: A-
6- RB Ronnie Brown- Possibly a reach...maybe too high to draft a running back that has an injury history. No, September Jason- definitely a reach. We just completed week 14, and Mr. Brown has racked up all of 2 double digit point games (high of 15). Unfortunately, I hadn't planned on Brown to play as big of a role as he did, due to injuries. Ronnie Brown will not be back with the Snow Flurries next season. Grade: D
7- Ravens Defense- Do they still have Ed Reed? If so, then they'll be awesome in the fantasy format. They did have Ed Reed, and they were a really good real defense- but unfortunately, they didn't force many turnovers or score many TDs, so for fantasy points, they were a much worse undertaking than the Arizona Cardinals D. No idea- because when you draft a defense, you're drafting an entire unit- there is so much that can change between now and then. Grade: D+
8- WR Mohammed Massaquoi- I have my starting WRs, so anything this guy gives me is gravy. Geez- he didn't even give me gravy. Not even the cheap powder stuff so that I could make my own gravy. Thanks for playing Mo- but no mo Mo. Grade: D-
9- QB Chad Henne- I'm not going to need Henne to be the second coming of Dan Marino...I just need him to not be the second coming of Ryan Leaf. Well, if this was a scale, Chad was closer to Leaf-territory than he was Marino. He did, however, have a solid outing or 2 for me, and I was later able to parlay him into Jay Cutler. Whatever that means. I'd take a flyer on him in later rounds- maybe. Grade: D+
10-RB Darren McFadden- I felt like I could take some flyers on guys that could potentially have some serious impact...or at the very least, put up acceptable stats for bad teams. Probably one of the best draft picks I've ever made- yes, even better than grabbing Bowe in Round 5. He simply exploded in 2010, setting himself up as an elite back who can affect games both on the ground and through the air. So obviously, I traded him away late in the season. For Steve Johnson. Ugh. I'm seriously hoping that the guy I traded him to doesn't decide to keep him- because I am definitely scoring him next year. Of course- he was hurt again this year for a spell- so maybe that's a red flag. Grade: A.
11-TE Dustin Keller- Whatever- I drafted him. And then I traded him. And I might draft him again. Or not. Grade: C-
12-Bears Defense- Hey, 2 games against the Lions should make this defense worth it, right? If I would have played this D more than I did, I might have won a couple more games (and thus made the playoffs). As it was, they were a very good unit for me. And that's taking into account that 2 of their lowest scoring games were against the Lions. See Ravens comment above. Grade: A
13-WR TJ Houshimanzada Meanwhile, a 13th round pick for a back-up WR is not much to spend on a guy that could end up starting and being a #2 receiver. Unfortunately, I didn't really keep him long enough to figure this out, because injuries and ineffectiveness started to wreak havoc on my season, and I absolutely needed to have someone to produce right away. Sorry TJ. Maybe next time. No seriously- maybe next time. You'll have a full offseason to hang with your Ravens buds, and I have no doubt that you're still a great receiver. Grade: Incomplete
14-K Lawrence Tynes- I just had to make sure that his name wasn't Nick Folk, and that he was in no way, shape, or form associated with or existed in a former life as Nick Folk. And he wasn't Nick Folk. What a great pick. I don't really put much thought into my kickers- as long as they aren't Nick Folk. Grade: B-
15-WR Donnie Avery- . Just perfect for my drafting philosophy. Ah yes. My drafting philosophy. While my 'drafting philosophy' scored me Darren McFadden, it also exposed the fact that I did not do any preparation at all heading into the season. Zero. I read no magazines or articles, watched no talking head commentary, scanned none of the injury reports. Looking back, I wonder- is this what the Matt Millen era was really like? I'll make you a deal, Donnie- you don't suffer a season-ending injury in the pre-season, and I will definitely consider drafting you. Grade: F- (Yeah, I know- incomplete- but I have to give myself an F- for drafting a guy that was already out for the year).
16-RB Jason Snelling- I figured I'd protect my investment a little bit. And my investment protection just sat there on the bench- looking all investment protecty, except for the 2 games where he blatantly outscored Turner and reminded me that he existed. You'd look really nice on my transaction register next year, Jason- as a 16th round pick to protect my investment. Grade: D
Overall, I had a pretty rough draft. I picked many guys rounds ahead of their value. I know that this stuff is all hind sight- but still, I think that my lesson is learned. I know it's ridiculous to buy tons of Fantasy Football magazines and try to memorize offensive coordinators tendencies in the red zone for home games indoors, but a little bit of prevention surely has to be worth it's weight in cure.
A comment about my preseason thoughts- my season thoughts- and my moving-forward thoughts. Also- did you see how I showed you how they would be distinguished- without actually telling you? Clever, huh?
Keepers-
RB Michael Turner-He got hurt last season, but there aren't many teams nowadays that have a bell-cow back- and Turner is one of those guys. After a slow start, Turner really picked up and had a very strong season for me. I'm not sure if he'll be a keeper for me again- but if I don't keep him, I'll definitely have to think about drafting him in the first round if I want him again. Grade: B+
QB Tony Romo-The Lord giveth...and, the Lord taketh away. Romo was having a really good season for me when he broke his collarbone in week 7 versus the Giants. I had some decent QB play the rest of the way- but not nearly at the level Romo was performing at. Definitely thinking about him as a keeper- but it'll depend on how he progresses in his recovery. Grade: Incomplete (A- for the games he completed)
Draft-
1- RB Ryan Grant- Green Bay looks like they might have the best offense in the history of ever. While that certainly did not end up being the case (and it is here that I shall choose to gloat about the Lions 7-3 win over the Packers yesterday), it is also not the fault of Ryan Grant. And yet, it is probably his fault- because he didn't even make it out of the first game unscathed. Obviously you count on injuries throughout a football season- but this injury was simply devastating, and we never really recovered. I'd consider him with a mid-round pick- but no higher. Grade: Incomplete (Incomplete for the games he completed- because there was none).
2- WR Steve Smith (NYG)- I can't really afford to whiff with my #2 pick for 2 years in a row. I don't think I would classify this a whiff- but it wasn't an extra base hit either. Another case of the injury bug struck Smith at the midway point of the season- but even when he played, he was a 50/50 proposition (half of his games he didn't reach double digit points). Looking back, I realize that this was a reach. At least I had the best Steve Smith in the league though. That counts for something- right? I'd draft him again- he's an Eli Manning 3rd down favorite- but not before the 4th round. Grade: Incomplete (B- for the games he completed)
3- TE Jermichael Finley- This guy was banged up at times last year. When he was healthy? He was unstoppable. This guy was banged up at times this year. When he was healthy? He was unstoppable. The problem is- he spent every week after week 5 being banged up on Injured Reserve. Another guy I drafted too high- I'd draft him again, but with his injury history, it won't be nearly this high. Grade: Incomplete (A for the games he completed)
4- WR Michael Crabtree- I think that this guy is going to be a stud. I think this guy was a stub. Not quite a dud- he did have 5 double-digit point games, after all- but definitely not stud material. I don't want to give up completely on this guy- but man, I just don't know if the QB situation in San Francisco is going to help him reach the elite level anytime soon. Grade: C
5- WR Dwayne Bowe- If Bowe comes out and lays a goose-egg...then I will come back and edit this post. For the early part of the season, it looked like I was going to have to come back and eat some crow. 3 of his first 4 games were sub-5 pointers. And even the last 2 weeks have been stinkers. In between though? A magical run of 5 20-point outings in 7 games (including a pair of 30+ pointers) that really carried my team. Thanks for the memories Dwayne. A real candidate for a keeper position- but the last two weeks have me a little cautious. Grade: A-
6- RB Ronnie Brown- Possibly a reach...maybe too high to draft a running back that has an injury history. No, September Jason- definitely a reach. We just completed week 14, and Mr. Brown has racked up all of 2 double digit point games (high of 15). Unfortunately, I hadn't planned on Brown to play as big of a role as he did, due to injuries. Ronnie Brown will not be back with the Snow Flurries next season. Grade: D
7- Ravens Defense- Do they still have Ed Reed? If so, then they'll be awesome in the fantasy format. They did have Ed Reed, and they were a really good real defense- but unfortunately, they didn't force many turnovers or score many TDs, so for fantasy points, they were a much worse undertaking than the Arizona Cardinals D. No idea- because when you draft a defense, you're drafting an entire unit- there is so much that can change between now and then. Grade: D+
8- WR Mohammed Massaquoi- I have my starting WRs, so anything this guy gives me is gravy. Geez- he didn't even give me gravy. Not even the cheap powder stuff so that I could make my own gravy. Thanks for playing Mo- but no mo Mo. Grade: D-
9- QB Chad Henne- I'm not going to need Henne to be the second coming of Dan Marino...I just need him to not be the second coming of Ryan Leaf. Well, if this was a scale, Chad was closer to Leaf-territory than he was Marino. He did, however, have a solid outing or 2 for me, and I was later able to parlay him into Jay Cutler. Whatever that means. I'd take a flyer on him in later rounds- maybe. Grade: D+
10-RB Darren McFadden- I felt like I could take some flyers on guys that could potentially have some serious impact...or at the very least, put up acceptable stats for bad teams. Probably one of the best draft picks I've ever made- yes, even better than grabbing Bowe in Round 5. He simply exploded in 2010, setting himself up as an elite back who can affect games both on the ground and through the air. So obviously, I traded him away late in the season. For Steve Johnson. Ugh. I'm seriously hoping that the guy I traded him to doesn't decide to keep him- because I am definitely scoring him next year. Of course- he was hurt again this year for a spell- so maybe that's a red flag. Grade: A.
11-TE Dustin Keller- Whatever- I drafted him. And then I traded him. And I might draft him again. Or not. Grade: C-
12-Bears Defense- Hey, 2 games against the Lions should make this defense worth it, right? If I would have played this D more than I did, I might have won a couple more games (and thus made the playoffs). As it was, they were a very good unit for me. And that's taking into account that 2 of their lowest scoring games were against the Lions. See Ravens comment above. Grade: A
13-WR TJ Houshimanzada Meanwhile, a 13th round pick for a back-up WR is not much to spend on a guy that could end up starting and being a #2 receiver. Unfortunately, I didn't really keep him long enough to figure this out, because injuries and ineffectiveness started to wreak havoc on my season, and I absolutely needed to have someone to produce right away. Sorry TJ. Maybe next time. No seriously- maybe next time. You'll have a full offseason to hang with your Ravens buds, and I have no doubt that you're still a great receiver. Grade: Incomplete
14-K Lawrence Tynes- I just had to make sure that his name wasn't Nick Folk, and that he was in no way, shape, or form associated with or existed in a former life as Nick Folk. And he wasn't Nick Folk. What a great pick. I don't really put much thought into my kickers- as long as they aren't Nick Folk. Grade: B-
15-WR Donnie Avery- . Just perfect for my drafting philosophy. Ah yes. My drafting philosophy. While my 'drafting philosophy' scored me Darren McFadden, it also exposed the fact that I did not do any preparation at all heading into the season. Zero. I read no magazines or articles, watched no talking head commentary, scanned none of the injury reports. Looking back, I wonder- is this what the Matt Millen era was really like? I'll make you a deal, Donnie- you don't suffer a season-ending injury in the pre-season, and I will definitely consider drafting you. Grade: F- (Yeah, I know- incomplete- but I have to give myself an F- for drafting a guy that was already out for the year).
16-RB Jason Snelling- I figured I'd protect my investment a little bit. And my investment protection just sat there on the bench- looking all investment protecty, except for the 2 games where he blatantly outscored Turner and reminded me that he existed. You'd look really nice on my transaction register next year, Jason- as a 16th round pick to protect my investment. Grade: D
Overall, I had a pretty rough draft. I picked many guys rounds ahead of their value. I know that this stuff is all hind sight- but still, I think that my lesson is learned. I know it's ridiculous to buy tons of Fantasy Football magazines and try to memorize offensive coordinators tendencies in the red zone for home games indoors, but a little bit of prevention surely has to be worth it's weight in cure.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Snow Flurries Season 2: 2nd half synopsis
Sometimes, when I do these game summaries, I go back through, looking for anything that might give me an edge for the next game, or the next season. Analyzing tendencies, scouring weather reports, reading briefings. Then I remember- it's all fake. And there is no method to any of this madness.
With that said, here is how the 2nd half of my season played out.
Week 8- My first of two shots at a .500 record, and a (seemingly) favorable matchup against the Parx Rangers (my dad's team)...and I fire blanks, losing 117-96.
What went right- Recent acquiree Cardinals D fills in admirably for da' Bears by scoring 28 points. Janikowski has 15 points. I also get solid efforts from McFadden (14) and Fitzpatrick (16).
What went wrong- Apparently it was the Snow Flurries bye week, as many of my top guys (Turner, Bears D, Boldin, Smith) do not play against anyone other than themselves. Michael Crabtree scores 11 points- but he does so on the waiver wire, because I cut him to pick up Mike Williams (2 points). I feel like the ghost of Matt Millen still haunts me. Also, the one game of the season that Matthew Stafford starts and finishes- yup, it's against me. 32 points. It didn't help that Larry Fitzgerald had his highest scoring performance at 19 points.
Bonehead move- Because of all the byes, it's really tough to say because no roster combo would have netted me any more points. Sure, dropping Crabtree was a hindsight stupid, but it was his first game with Troy Smith at QB. How was I to know Troy Smith wasn't going to royally suck?
Week 9- A rematch against my brothers' Team Doomsday, with 3rd place (and a playoff spot) on the line, and my team comes through for me. HUGE. Snow Flurries win easily (sort of) 123-99.
What went right- When it's your fantasy day, it's your fantasy day. 7 of my 9 players go for double digits, and I even left points on the bench at 3 positions. My brother leaves Phillip Rivers (33 points) on the bench for Big Ben (11 points), and his K Bironas has a bye week.
What went wrong- It didn't cost me this week- but Brown outscored McFadden 15-8, and da' Bears had a 41-24 margin over the Cards' D. Like I said, it didn't cost me- but it could have.
Bonehead move- There are no bonehead moves in victory. I have to tell myself this. Because my self esteem is really low, and if I don't speak positive things to myself, I'll just fall apart.
Week 10- Chance number 2 at .500, and I fail. Utterly and completely fail. This is probably the most painful loss of my fantasy career, on many levels. Suffice it to say that my 112-110 loss to Team Fergy is still resonating deep in my happy place even today.
What went right- My team worked their asses off. Coming back from a 30+ point deficit, they scored a total that (even with my foul-ups) would have beat most other teams in the league. Dwayne Bowe is the latest child of fortune, as the Broncos jump all over the Chiefs and force them to throw the ball all the time (Bowe ends up with 31 points for me). In fact, I was leading Fergy 110-109 heading into the last game of the night- Patriots versus Steelers. More on this in a second.
What went wrong- Smith is out with an injured peck- jeez, I didn't realize that this was the La Leche league (um, just kidding Steve- hurry up and get better). I decide that the Cardinals D (18 points) playing against the Seahawks was a better choice than da Bears (35 points) against the Vikings. Now, this isn't as asinine of a move as it might seem. Matt Hasselbeck was not guaranteed to start versus the Cards, and Favre was coming off of a career high 446 yards passing. Of course- I forgot that Favre's arm fell has completely fallen off. Also, I left Todd Heap (11 points) on the bench in place of Aaron Hernandez (assuming he got lost on the way to Heinz field and just didn't show up to the game). Hernandez not only scores 0 points for the Patriots, he does so in such a fashion that the National Center for Missing Adults gets involved.
Bonehead move- Relying on human beings for this game. Why don't we do fantasy Madden? Seriously, nobody is more disappointing than human beings. You know how many different ways I could have won this game- or at least tied it- without humans making human mistakes? Josh Scobee (my fill-in kicker) misses 2 field goals. Chansi Stuckey fumbles in OT against the Jets (Fergy's D). The Chiefs miss on a pair of 2-point conversion passes to Bowe. Mike Williams misses a pass in the red zone. Jason Snelling scores 12 points against the Ravens, while his forward-up Turner racks up all of 3. And how about WHAT WAS BELICHEK THINKING!?!!? Seriously, just one week after scoring 2 TDs against the Browns, Hernandez is AWOL while fellow rookie TE Rob Gronkowski scores 3 TDs against the Steelers. 3 TDs!!! Couldn't at least one of those gone to Aaron Hernandez? Remember him- you threw a pair of scoring passes to him last week? That guy?
Week 11- This is the point where all the injuries and all the mistakes start to add up. We are a mentally weary bunch, falling apart at the wrong time. Playing my arch-nemesis War Machine and needing a win to keep my dim playoff prospects alive, the Snow Flurries instead find themselves on the short end of a 127-96 score.
What went right- I felt bad for the Dolphins. Having lost their top two QBs to injury on Sunday, having to play their 3rd string QB against the Bears on a short week (they played on Thursday), knowing how much injuries have ruined my own season- I almost left the Bears D on the bench. Almost. Then I snapped into cutthroat mode, started the Bears, and watched as they racked up 22 points in a shut-out effort. Bowe and Turner also went for 20+ each for my squad. Jeff also made a (hindsight) bad move by leaving Thomas Jones and his 19 points on the bench in exchange for the 5 points that Stephen Jackson put up.
What went wrong- My match-ups were horrible. McFadden vs. the Steelers? He was forecast for 17 points (which I knew was not going to happen)- but still, to have him only put up 2 was a huge letdown. And it wasn't like I could sit him for a more favorable match-up, because Ronnie Brown was going up against a Bears D that could afford to ignore the pass. Additionally, Aaron Rodgers racked up 39 points, which destroyed me.
Bonehead move- I played Crabtree (1 point) over Williams (11 points). The move wouldn't have won me the game- but it would have helped.
Week 12-Ah yes- the week of the trade deadline. Also known as mercenary time. In real sports, the contenders try to solidify their title hopes, the fringe playoff teams try to make that final playoff push, and the dregs try and get something to show for their talented free agents that plan on leaving during the off-season. You can probably guess which one of those categories I fall into. Needing to win both of my last 2 games and have Josh lose both of his last 2- I make a couple blockbuster deals to swing the pendulum. Unfortunately, we played against Team Disco, the highest scoring team in the league. Still, my boys gave it their all. Despite trailing by over 50 points at one time, the Snow Flurries battled bravely and fell by a (narrower than it appears) 153-128 score.
What went right- Dwayne Bowe came to play- 36 points for my main man. Turner had a nice 18 on the day as well. And, perhaps most importantly of all, Chris Johnson of Team Disco has a big goose egg. Yes, you read that right. Chris Johnson. 0 points. How can I lose?
What went wrong-How can I lose? Well I am about to tell you. Rent-a-cop Big Ben, projected for 26, needed all of regulation and most of an OT period even have 10 (the other QBs on my roster each had twice that at the halftime mark of their respective games). Steve Johnson, whom I traded for Darren McFadden, had 6 and dropped a pass in the endzone that would have won the game for the Bills. Of course, McFadden had 6 too- so this week the trade was a wash. Oh, and how about Brady and Peyton Hillis each putting up 38 and Nate Kaeding having a 20 spot for Team Disco.
Bonehead move- You know what? I didn't make any bonehead moves. I'm tired of taking responsibility for these slackers. I put my faith in some of you guys- and you let me down. You let me down hard. So I made all the right moves. I was genius. Sheer brilliance. And really, it wasn't even my guys, either- because we had the 2nd most points in the league this week- meaning that if we would have played anyone else- ANYONE ELSE- we would have won. FRICK!
Week 13- Nothing to play for. No hope for a playoff birth. The end of an era. Season finale. The Snow Flurries have given everything for me this season- and it pains my heart that their perseverance will not be rewarded with a playoff birth. Instead, we'll be sitting home watching the playoffs. And we'll all have a nasty pukey taste in our mouths, thanks to the 85-67 stinker against El Diablo.
What went right- Well...Boldin came out of his coma to score 18 points. And Turner had a nice 14 point outing. And I guess da Bears D came up solid with 16 points against the Lions.
What went wrong- Last week, Dwayne Bowe came to play. This week, Dwayne Bowe came to get shut down. 0 points. Can't have your top guy score 0 points...unless someone else steps up. And that's just it- nobody else really stood up. Sam Bradford, starting as a Snow Flurry for the first time, played like a rookie (5 points) while seasoned vets Cutler and Big Ben each had 14. Steve Johnson followed up his 6 point effort by halving it (meanwhile McFadden had 16 points for someone else...man, those points would have looked nice on my roster).
Bonehead move- It should be probably be noted that Hernandez had 11 points in Waiver-land, while Heap hurt on 1st play of game and Gronkowski was not a factor. Leave it to Bill Belichek to kick me in the nads one last time whilst I lay writhing in agony on the floor.
Season over. Playoffs- not accomplished. It was quite a ride- and now it's over.
Next week (or maybe even this week if I feel motivated) I'll grade my draft effort. Then I'll look at the grades I gave my draft before the season started. Then I'll laugh at myself. And then? I'll start getting ready for next season. The NORTH Michigan Snow Flurries are going to be back with a vengence.
With that said, here is how the 2nd half of my season played out.
Week 8- My first of two shots at a .500 record, and a (seemingly) favorable matchup against the Parx Rangers (my dad's team)...and I fire blanks, losing 117-96.
What went right- Recent acquiree Cardinals D fills in admirably for da' Bears by scoring 28 points. Janikowski has 15 points. I also get solid efforts from McFadden (14) and Fitzpatrick (16).
What went wrong- Apparently it was the Snow Flurries bye week, as many of my top guys (Turner, Bears D, Boldin, Smith) do not play against anyone other than themselves. Michael Crabtree scores 11 points- but he does so on the waiver wire, because I cut him to pick up Mike Williams (2 points). I feel like the ghost of Matt Millen still haunts me. Also, the one game of the season that Matthew Stafford starts and finishes- yup, it's against me. 32 points. It didn't help that Larry Fitzgerald had his highest scoring performance at 19 points.
Bonehead move- Because of all the byes, it's really tough to say because no roster combo would have netted me any more points. Sure, dropping Crabtree was a hindsight stupid, but it was his first game with Troy Smith at QB. How was I to know Troy Smith wasn't going to royally suck?
Week 9- A rematch against my brothers' Team Doomsday, with 3rd place (and a playoff spot) on the line, and my team comes through for me. HUGE. Snow Flurries win easily (sort of) 123-99.
What went right- When it's your fantasy day, it's your fantasy day. 7 of my 9 players go for double digits, and I even left points on the bench at 3 positions. My brother leaves Phillip Rivers (33 points) on the bench for Big Ben (11 points), and his K Bironas has a bye week.
What went wrong- It didn't cost me this week- but Brown outscored McFadden 15-8, and da' Bears had a 41-24 margin over the Cards' D. Like I said, it didn't cost me- but it could have.
Bonehead move- There are no bonehead moves in victory. I have to tell myself this. Because my self esteem is really low, and if I don't speak positive things to myself, I'll just fall apart.
Week 10- Chance number 2 at .500, and I fail. Utterly and completely fail. This is probably the most painful loss of my fantasy career, on many levels. Suffice it to say that my 112-110 loss to Team Fergy is still resonating deep in my happy place even today.
What went right- My team worked their asses off. Coming back from a 30+ point deficit, they scored a total that (even with my foul-ups) would have beat most other teams in the league. Dwayne Bowe is the latest child of fortune, as the Broncos jump all over the Chiefs and force them to throw the ball all the time (Bowe ends up with 31 points for me). In fact, I was leading Fergy 110-109 heading into the last game of the night- Patriots versus Steelers. More on this in a second.
What went wrong- Smith is out with an injured peck- jeez, I didn't realize that this was the La Leche league (um, just kidding Steve- hurry up and get better). I decide that the Cardinals D (18 points) playing against the Seahawks was a better choice than da Bears (35 points) against the Vikings. Now, this isn't as asinine of a move as it might seem. Matt Hasselbeck was not guaranteed to start versus the Cards, and Favre was coming off of a career high 446 yards passing. Of course- I forgot that Favre's arm fell has completely fallen off. Also, I left Todd Heap (11 points) on the bench in place of Aaron Hernandez (assuming he got lost on the way to Heinz field and just didn't show up to the game). Hernandez not only scores 0 points for the Patriots, he does so in such a fashion that the National Center for Missing Adults gets involved.
Bonehead move- Relying on human beings for this game. Why don't we do fantasy Madden? Seriously, nobody is more disappointing than human beings. You know how many different ways I could have won this game- or at least tied it- without humans making human mistakes? Josh Scobee (my fill-in kicker) misses 2 field goals. Chansi Stuckey fumbles in OT against the Jets (Fergy's D). The Chiefs miss on a pair of 2-point conversion passes to Bowe. Mike Williams misses a pass in the red zone. Jason Snelling scores 12 points against the Ravens, while his forward-up Turner racks up all of 3. And how about WHAT WAS BELICHEK THINKING!?!!? Seriously, just one week after scoring 2 TDs against the Browns, Hernandez is AWOL while fellow rookie TE Rob Gronkowski scores 3 TDs against the Steelers. 3 TDs!!! Couldn't at least one of those gone to Aaron Hernandez? Remember him- you threw a pair of scoring passes to him last week? That guy?
Week 11- This is the point where all the injuries and all the mistakes start to add up. We are a mentally weary bunch, falling apart at the wrong time. Playing my arch-nemesis War Machine and needing a win to keep my dim playoff prospects alive, the Snow Flurries instead find themselves on the short end of a 127-96 score.
What went right- I felt bad for the Dolphins. Having lost their top two QBs to injury on Sunday, having to play their 3rd string QB against the Bears on a short week (they played on Thursday), knowing how much injuries have ruined my own season- I almost left the Bears D on the bench. Almost. Then I snapped into cutthroat mode, started the Bears, and watched as they racked up 22 points in a shut-out effort. Bowe and Turner also went for 20+ each for my squad. Jeff also made a (hindsight) bad move by leaving Thomas Jones and his 19 points on the bench in exchange for the 5 points that Stephen Jackson put up.
What went wrong- My match-ups were horrible. McFadden vs. the Steelers? He was forecast for 17 points (which I knew was not going to happen)- but still, to have him only put up 2 was a huge letdown. And it wasn't like I could sit him for a more favorable match-up, because Ronnie Brown was going up against a Bears D that could afford to ignore the pass. Additionally, Aaron Rodgers racked up 39 points, which destroyed me.
Bonehead move- I played Crabtree (1 point) over Williams (11 points). The move wouldn't have won me the game- but it would have helped.
Week 12-Ah yes- the week of the trade deadline. Also known as mercenary time. In real sports, the contenders try to solidify their title hopes, the fringe playoff teams try to make that final playoff push, and the dregs try and get something to show for their talented free agents that plan on leaving during the off-season. You can probably guess which one of those categories I fall into. Needing to win both of my last 2 games and have Josh lose both of his last 2- I make a couple blockbuster deals to swing the pendulum. Unfortunately, we played against Team Disco, the highest scoring team in the league. Still, my boys gave it their all. Despite trailing by over 50 points at one time, the Snow Flurries battled bravely and fell by a (narrower than it appears) 153-128 score.
What went right- Dwayne Bowe came to play- 36 points for my main man. Turner had a nice 18 on the day as well. And, perhaps most importantly of all, Chris Johnson of Team Disco has a big goose egg. Yes, you read that right. Chris Johnson. 0 points. How can I lose?
What went wrong-How can I lose? Well I am about to tell you. Rent-a-cop Big Ben, projected for 26, needed all of regulation and most of an OT period even have 10 (the other QBs on my roster each had twice that at the halftime mark of their respective games). Steve Johnson, whom I traded for Darren McFadden, had 6 and dropped a pass in the endzone that would have won the game for the Bills. Of course, McFadden had 6 too- so this week the trade was a wash. Oh, and how about Brady and Peyton Hillis each putting up 38 and Nate Kaeding having a 20 spot for Team Disco.
Bonehead move- You know what? I didn't make any bonehead moves. I'm tired of taking responsibility for these slackers. I put my faith in some of you guys- and you let me down. You let me down hard. So I made all the right moves. I was genius. Sheer brilliance. And really, it wasn't even my guys, either- because we had the 2nd most points in the league this week- meaning that if we would have played anyone else- ANYONE ELSE- we would have won. FRICK!
Week 13- Nothing to play for. No hope for a playoff birth. The end of an era. Season finale. The Snow Flurries have given everything for me this season- and it pains my heart that their perseverance will not be rewarded with a playoff birth. Instead, we'll be sitting home watching the playoffs. And we'll all have a nasty pukey taste in our mouths, thanks to the 85-67 stinker against El Diablo.
What went right- Well...Boldin came out of his coma to score 18 points. And Turner had a nice 14 point outing. And I guess da Bears D came up solid with 16 points against the Lions.
What went wrong- Last week, Dwayne Bowe came to play. This week, Dwayne Bowe came to get shut down. 0 points. Can't have your top guy score 0 points...unless someone else steps up. And that's just it- nobody else really stood up. Sam Bradford, starting as a Snow Flurry for the first time, played like a rookie (5 points) while seasoned vets Cutler and Big Ben each had 14. Steve Johnson followed up his 6 point effort by halving it (meanwhile McFadden had 16 points for someone else...man, those points would have looked nice on my roster).
Bonehead move- It should be probably be noted that Hernandez had 11 points in Waiver-land, while Heap hurt on 1st play of game and Gronkowski was not a factor. Leave it to Bill Belichek to kick me in the nads one last time whilst I lay writhing in agony on the floor.
Season over. Playoffs- not accomplished. It was quite a ride- and now it's over.
Next week (or maybe even this week if I feel motivated) I'll grade my draft effort. Then I'll look at the grades I gave my draft before the season started. Then I'll laugh at myself. And then? I'll start getting ready for next season. The NORTH Michigan Snow Flurries are going to be back with a vengence.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Captain Abuse
So if you're even a little bit aware of Facebook, you know that there is this new "thing" going around where you change your profile picture to "campaign against child abuse" (as one status I read worded it).
A couple things. First of all- I did it. Call me a 'lemming', but I read the cause, knew it was something I wanted to participate in, and hunted down a Captain Planet photo.
Secondly, I'm very aware that child abuse will not cease because I did this. And I would hope that everybody who took a few seconds to find a new profile pic realizes this as well. Unless we dip into the magic profile pic pool, then we're more than likely not doing anything more than decorating our Facebook profile with a virtual bumper sticker.
So why do we do this stuff, then? Why do we post the "97% of you won't repost this" statuses? Why do we change our profile pictures , or post provocative "I like it in _____" statuses, or fill out 'Top 25 Random Things About Me' notes? I think it's because we miss being a part of people's lives- and letting people into our own.
Genuine human connection is virtually gone. I know that I have a difficult time functioning in the face to face world some times- there's always this awkward tension as we constantly bump into people who are trying so hard to put their best mistake-free social face on- just like us. But the virtual world? Sign me up, man! I can cut and paste, I can erase, I can change my face. And if I don't feel like participating? I tune it out, I shut it down. I don't respond. The consequences of my silence are usually much less severe than in reality, and I have much more manipulative power over my social persona.
So these Facebook memes, as they're apparently called (I know, right? Who would have thought me, behind the times?), serve a pretty important function- they allow us to feel connected with people. They make us feel like we belong, like we a part of something that is more than just our own existence.
Is this pathetic- or is it the new reality? Things have been changing so rapidly over the past 20-30 years, and the snowball is an avalanche, at this point- I'm not so sure it can be easily stopped (if at all).
But some of it is that we (and I staple myself to this bad boy, lemmetellya!) get so drawn into our patterns, and our routines, and our own private virtual realities, that we are just content to live there- venturing out into the real world only in small increments, at our own convenience.
Unfortunately, not everyone lives at that level of luxury. Not everybody can afford to just switch it on and off. And this whole Facebook child abuse awareness thing has got me thinking on that. I changed my profile picture to 'campaign against child abuse', as I said earlier. But is that really what I'm doing? Is Captain Planet really going to save all the babies?
Now, I don't want to go the polar extreme and say that I'm wasting time. It's not a waste of time. First of all, like I said, it's a human connection, which is usually a good thing. I see all the pictures of my friends changed into cartoon characters, and it's pretty cool. In a weird, and probably Hallmark-movie cheesy sort of way, it feels like 'they're with me on this- they got my back'. Second of all, there could be people that legitimately don't know much about child abuse, or don't think about it because it hasn't impacted them. So there is an opportunity for raising that level of social awareness.
However, as I have thought about it and talked it through with a giant dinosaur (trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds), I realize that it simply cannot end here. I can't just put my smiley pretty face back up on Monday and just go about my business. Because then, it really becomes a question of why did I participate? Did I participate because I thought it would be 'cool'? Well no, I really want to make a difference. Did I change my profile picture because other people did? Um, no...while I'm not immune to following the crowd, I generally do a decent job of thinking for myself. So why?
Well, obviously it's because as a father of two young children, I realize their precious innocence, and how important and formative these years are and how big a part love and affection play in their development. Having worked with abused and neglected children for almost five years, I know the short and long term effects that abuse can have- destroying all the potential of a young life before it even gets started.
So that is why I have to keep taking this forward. Because there are people out there that don't have the ability to just flow in and out of reality. Many people are stuck where they are- and sometimes that involves cigarette burns and beatings. We live in such a crazy, messed up world, and I know I can't save it- but that doesn't mean I can't make it better for someone else.
It's tough sometimes because there simply isn't enough time/energy/resources to get involved with every single cause that I want to. But this is one of them. This is one of them that I want desperately to succeed. Like the starfish washed up on the shore, I know that we can't save them all- but man, to even make the difference in the lives of a few- even one- how wonderful that would be!
A couple things. First of all- I did it. Call me a 'lemming', but I read the cause, knew it was something I wanted to participate in, and hunted down a Captain Planet photo.
Secondly, I'm very aware that child abuse will not cease because I did this. And I would hope that everybody who took a few seconds to find a new profile pic realizes this as well. Unless we dip into the magic profile pic pool, then we're more than likely not doing anything more than decorating our Facebook profile with a virtual bumper sticker.
So why do we do this stuff, then? Why do we post the "97% of you won't repost this" statuses? Why do we change our profile pictures , or post provocative "I like it in _____" statuses, or fill out 'Top 25 Random Things About Me' notes? I think it's because we miss being a part of people's lives- and letting people into our own.
Genuine human connection is virtually gone. I know that I have a difficult time functioning in the face to face world some times- there's always this awkward tension as we constantly bump into people who are trying so hard to put their best mistake-free social face on- just like us. But the virtual world? Sign me up, man! I can cut and paste, I can erase, I can change my face. And if I don't feel like participating? I tune it out, I shut it down. I don't respond. The consequences of my silence are usually much less severe than in reality, and I have much more manipulative power over my social persona.
So these Facebook memes, as they're apparently called (I know, right? Who would have thought me, behind the times?), serve a pretty important function- they allow us to feel connected with people. They make us feel like we belong, like we a part of something that is more than just our own existence.
Is this pathetic- or is it the new reality? Things have been changing so rapidly over the past 20-30 years, and the snowball is an avalanche, at this point- I'm not so sure it can be easily stopped (if at all).
But some of it is that we (and I staple myself to this bad boy, lemmetellya!) get so drawn into our patterns, and our routines, and our own private virtual realities, that we are just content to live there- venturing out into the real world only in small increments, at our own convenience.
Unfortunately, not everyone lives at that level of luxury. Not everybody can afford to just switch it on and off. And this whole Facebook child abuse awareness thing has got me thinking on that. I changed my profile picture to 'campaign against child abuse', as I said earlier. But is that really what I'm doing? Is Captain Planet really going to save all the babies?
Now, I don't want to go the polar extreme and say that I'm wasting time. It's not a waste of time. First of all, like I said, it's a human connection, which is usually a good thing. I see all the pictures of my friends changed into cartoon characters, and it's pretty cool. In a weird, and probably Hallmark-movie cheesy sort of way, it feels like 'they're with me on this- they got my back'. Second of all, there could be people that legitimately don't know much about child abuse, or don't think about it because it hasn't impacted them. So there is an opportunity for raising that level of social awareness.
However, as I have thought about it and talked it through with a giant dinosaur (trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds), I realize that it simply cannot end here. I can't just put my smiley pretty face back up on Monday and just go about my business. Because then, it really becomes a question of why did I participate? Did I participate because I thought it would be 'cool'? Well no, I really want to make a difference. Did I change my profile picture because other people did? Um, no...while I'm not immune to following the crowd, I generally do a decent job of thinking for myself. So why?
Well, obviously it's because as a father of two young children, I realize their precious innocence, and how important and formative these years are and how big a part love and affection play in their development. Having worked with abused and neglected children for almost five years, I know the short and long term effects that abuse can have- destroying all the potential of a young life before it even gets started.
So that is why I have to keep taking this forward. Because there are people out there that don't have the ability to just flow in and out of reality. Many people are stuck where they are- and sometimes that involves cigarette burns and beatings. We live in such a crazy, messed up world, and I know I can't save it- but that doesn't mean I can't make it better for someone else.
It's tough sometimes because there simply isn't enough time/energy/resources to get involved with every single cause that I want to. But this is one of them. This is one of them that I want desperately to succeed. Like the starfish washed up on the shore, I know that we can't save them all- but man, to even make the difference in the lives of a few- even one- how wonderful that would be!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Snow Flurries transaction report- or in other words, why things fell apart when they did
I know, I know- there is still a week left of the season, 3 weeks of post season. But as I have already bared my soul for all to see, the NORTH Michigan Snow Flurries are done. The only thing we have left to play for is pride...and screw that, I say. We've been playing for pride. Now the only thing left to play for is to not have the #1 overall pick because in a serpentine draft system, the top pick is almost more of a curse than a blessing, because then you have to basically wait 2 whole rounds before you can pick again. Plus, who wants to tell their friends that they were the worst fantasy football player in their league last year. Actually, who talks about fantasy football to their friends?
Where did it all go wrong? Some might say injuries- and while there is some truth to that, the other truth is that there are always great waiver-wire finds throughout the season. Kyle Orton, Peyton Hillis, and Michael Vick are just a few of the names that ended up being available via waiver wire. This is one of the components of being a champion- you have to know when a free-floating football player is getting ready to explode, while knowing which player on your roster is ready to be cut loose. It's a dog-eat-dog food world out there.
Was I able to find any of them- or anyone worth while? Only this exclusive inside-my-mind feature will be able to answer that question. The inside-my-mind commentary will be in italics. In case you couldn't figure that out.
Sept. 4- Dropped Donnie Avery- Possibly a prophetic draft pick, because I found out after I drafted him that he was out for the year. Maybe next season I should at least do a little bit of prep work...
Sept. 6- Added Sam Bradford- Sam actually will be starting his first game for the Snow Flurries in Week 13- but he has looked very good on my bench this season, and is definitely in line for keeper status- after all, this guy has the look of a future superstar all over him, and a great keeper can go a long way in keeping an injury-filled season afloat (see- Manning, Peyton; Johnson, Chris;Brady, Tom, etc.).
Sept. 15- Dropped Ryan Grant, added Patriots defense-Once I realized that the longer I kept Grant around, the more likely it was that his teammates would realize that he was, in fact, alive, I had to drop him like a bad habit. I don't really have anything to say about the Patriots D.
Sept. 23- Traded Patriots D, Dustin Keller, T.J. Houshmanzadeh to dad for Anquan Boldin, Heath Miller, and Tim Hightower- Ah yes. The Patriots D. I was able to throw them in this trade for what ended up being Anquan Boldin. Unfortunately, Boldin was mentally unable to rebound from the time when I benched him and he scored 33 points, and wound up in a late-season free fall. This trade ended up basically doing nothing for anyone.
Sept. 29- Dropped Mohammed Massaquoi, added Jabar Gaffney- Another inconsequential move, other than to give me a guy that I would occasionally look at on the bench and wonder 'Why didn't I play that guy?'.
Oct.2- Dropped Miller, added Aaron Hernandez- Hernandez will always be synonymous in my mind with 'what might have been'. Do you know how frustrating it is to always read the football 'experts' talk about what a match-up nightmare that Hernandez is- and to so infrequently see that show up in his statistics? Does it matter to me that his abilities make things easier for the New England offense? This isn't fantasy compassion damnit, it's fantasy football!
Oct. 13- Added Tony Scheffler and Mike Hart, dropped Hightower- The Tim Hightower Experiment wasn't one of my finer moments. See ya! Hart- well, I was just hoping Hart could recapture some of the magic that made him one of the best high school running backs of all time. Or at least not suck very much. Scheffler was another one of my failed experiments to replace Jermichael Finley.
Oct. 16- Dropped Lawrence Tynes, added Sebastion Janikowski- Tynes was not 100% sure thing to kick for the Giants that week, so I figured 'what the hey' and picked up the Raiders K. What was initially meant to be a one week trial for Janikowski ended up in a full-ride scholarship. Hey, if colleges can pay their players under the table, surely a Fantasy Football team can offer to pay for a guy's education.
Oct. 20- Dropped Hart, added Chris Ivory- Going off of memory here- I believe that the only reason that Hart was even playing was that the guys ahead of him were hurt...and then he got hurt. And the guys ahead of him were getting better. Or something like that, who knows. Only, nostalgia is no reason to keep someone around in Fantasy Football. So sayonara Mike Hart. As for Chris Ivory? Injuries waylaid him too...just long enough for me to drop him, someone else to pick him up, and for him to score 15 points in back-to-back weeks late in the season, which of course for me would have been amazing.
Oct. 27- Dropped Ravens D, added Cardinals D and Ryan Fitzpatrick- I remember, very clearly, in the draft room when I drafted the Ravens D, and everyone was like, 'good pick Parksy'...and only 2 months later, I can't get rid of them fast enough. What happened, Ray Lewis? Are you trying to tell me that it's more important for you to win real games by playing sound defense than it is for you to score me lots of fantasy points by gambling and possibly get out of position? What kind of sick, sick bastard are you? Well, just to spite you, I not only dropped you from my roster, but I picked up the very Harvard-educated QB that carved you up like a cooked bird- the immortal Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Oct. 30- Dropped Jermichael Finley, Michael Crabtree and Sam Bradford, added Josh Freeman and Mike Williams- I am not usually prone to making careless or impulsive decisions...oh wait. Yes I am. However, this case isn't all careless or 100% impulsive. Freeman ended up starting some games for me, as did Williams. And besides- I picked up Crabtree and Bradford later on in the season. Obviously they were still available not because they were not very good- but out of blind loyalty to my managerial awesomeness they rebuffed all other offers and just waited around for me to call them back.
Nov. 2- Traded Chad Henne and Ryan Fitzpatrick for Jay Cutler and Jon Kitna- This trade actually worked out well for me. No, really, it did. After Tony Romo got hurt, there was a virtual QB carousel that never seemed to stop. By trading Henne and Doogie Howser, I was able to narrow it down to Josh Freeman. And if Kutler ever decided to snap out of his funk? Then I got a top tier fantasy QB for pennies on the dollar.
Nov. 3- Dropped Ivory, Kitna, and Scheffler, added Marcel Reese, Todd Heap, and Bradford, (Sam- welcome back- we missed ya! What's that? No no no no- that's not Jay Cutler chilling on the bench. Why would I pick up another QB- you're my #2 guy!) Also, at this point my search for running backs has all of the glamor of spring break college students and one night stands. I decided that I'm done with that. From now on, I'm going to be a faithful 2 running back guy (Turner and McFadden)...and, just to be safe, I'll get their back-ups too (Snelling and Reese). I suppose this is akin to marrying a woman, and then taking her sister to be your concubine. Unfortunately, I screwed up my waiver priorities,not thinking about the fact that no one would be going after Reese. And so it is that I messed up a chance to pick up Dallas Clark 2.0 (Jacob Tamme) at TE.
Nov. 10- Dropped Reese, added Josh Scobee- With my kicker on a bye week, I figured I'd add a kicker to help fill in for those missing points. And Reese was on a bye week too, so I was 100% confident if I ever wanted to add him to my roster again, I'd know right where to find him.
Nov. 13- Added Jacoby Ford- Anytime you have a young player with a name that can be legitimately pronounced more than seven different ways- well, you have to give that guy a chance, right?
Nov. 16- Dropped Josh Scobee- Well, I would have lost by more than 2 if I didn't have him, so thanks Josh. Oh, and thanks for missing 2 field goals and costing me the game, you twit (interesting bit of trivia...Josh Scobee was my first ever fantasy football kicker).
Nov. 17- Dropped Ford, added Crabtree- Sorry Jacoby. I'm sorry.
Nov. 23- Traded Mike Williams and Josh Freeman for Big Ben, John Kuhn- Well, after last season's controversy and chaos, it was nice to report that I was the perpetrator of this years first big conspiracy theory. Never mind the fact that this desperation move to get into the playoffs was contingent on A) Me winning both of my last two games, B) Team Doomsday losing both of his last two games, and C) Big Ben racking up huge amounts of fantasy points. Of course, most of those things didn't happen. Which is why I'll be watching the playoffs at home. On my TV. Hey, maybe I can invite the Detroit Lions over!
Nov. 23- Dropped John Kuhn- Dear John- I regret to inform you that you have been waived from the NORTH Michigan Snow Flurries. It's nothing personal- in fact, it's not you...it's me. You're a great guy, a hard working player, and you've even scored some. It's just that...well, the last two Packers I had ended up on Injured Reserve, and I have commitment issues.
Nov. 23- Traded Darren McFadden for Steve Johnson and Reggie Bush- This same trade was initially proposed to me with Javhid Best included. I turned it down, and counter-proposed the 2-for-1 trade. Oh, Javhid Best. I proposed a hail-mary trade for him after he torched the Eagles in Week 2, and was quickly turned down. Who would have thought that later in the season, Best would not only be a trade throw-in, but that he would get trade thrown-out?
As far as the trade itself goes- it was really just a strategical risk for me. McFadden has been a stud this year- but he's started to slow down as of late. Johnson, meanwhile, carries the p-word that all WRs carry. No, not that one. Potential. Maybe this is all in my head, but RBs seem to be more stable in their points- fluctuating usually on their TDs week to week. WRs? Sometimes they might get you 5 or 6, but one week they might get you a couple TDs, and a couple hundred yards and have like 20-30 points. Did it work? You'll have to tune in for my 2nd half synopsis to find out!
Nov. 24- Added Browns D- At this point in the season, anytime you can find a defense on the waiver wire that is playing a historically bad offense, you have to take a chance.
Nov. 30- Dropped Steve Smith, Cardinals D, Browns D, and Hernandez, added Rob Gronkowski- In what historians will likely call The Day That the Snow Flurries Waved The White Flag, I decided to waive the injured Smith (a solid possession receiver who would be a valuable playoff asset...if I was going to make the playoffs), my reserve defenses, and a rookie TE who could have been my amazing waiver wire pick-up. Unfortunately, Bill Belichik decided that I should have picked up the TE that his team drafted higher, and decided to mess with my mind by making Hernandez an integral part of the game plan just long enough to hook me in, and then BAM- he pulls him from relevance with the mere wave of his hand. Sheer cruelty. from the hand of the master. You win Belichik. This time.
Well, that's all the time we have for that. I hope you enjoyed it- or at the very least, you still want to be my friend. Like I said, tune in next time. For stuff.
Where did it all go wrong? Some might say injuries- and while there is some truth to that, the other truth is that there are always great waiver-wire finds throughout the season. Kyle Orton, Peyton Hillis, and Michael Vick are just a few of the names that ended up being available via waiver wire. This is one of the components of being a champion- you have to know when a free-floating football player is getting ready to explode, while knowing which player on your roster is ready to be cut loose. It's a dog-eat-dog food world out there.
Was I able to find any of them- or anyone worth while? Only this exclusive inside-my-mind feature will be able to answer that question. The inside-my-mind commentary will be in italics. In case you couldn't figure that out.
Sept. 4- Dropped Donnie Avery- Possibly a prophetic draft pick, because I found out after I drafted him that he was out for the year. Maybe next season I should at least do a little bit of prep work...
Sept. 6- Added Sam Bradford- Sam actually will be starting his first game for the Snow Flurries in Week 13- but he has looked very good on my bench this season, and is definitely in line for keeper status- after all, this guy has the look of a future superstar all over him, and a great keeper can go a long way in keeping an injury-filled season afloat (see- Manning, Peyton; Johnson, Chris;Brady, Tom, etc.).
Sept. 15- Dropped Ryan Grant, added Patriots defense-Once I realized that the longer I kept Grant around, the more likely it was that his teammates would realize that he was, in fact, alive, I had to drop him like a bad habit. I don't really have anything to say about the Patriots D.
Sept. 23- Traded Patriots D, Dustin Keller, T.J. Houshmanzadeh to dad for Anquan Boldin, Heath Miller, and Tim Hightower- Ah yes. The Patriots D. I was able to throw them in this trade for what ended up being Anquan Boldin. Unfortunately, Boldin was mentally unable to rebound from the time when I benched him and he scored 33 points, and wound up in a late-season free fall. This trade ended up basically doing nothing for anyone.
Sept. 29- Dropped Mohammed Massaquoi, added Jabar Gaffney- Another inconsequential move, other than to give me a guy that I would occasionally look at on the bench and wonder 'Why didn't I play that guy?'.
Oct.2- Dropped Miller, added Aaron Hernandez- Hernandez will always be synonymous in my mind with 'what might have been'. Do you know how frustrating it is to always read the football 'experts' talk about what a match-up nightmare that Hernandez is- and to so infrequently see that show up in his statistics? Does it matter to me that his abilities make things easier for the New England offense? This isn't fantasy compassion damnit, it's fantasy football!
Oct. 13- Added Tony Scheffler and Mike Hart, dropped Hightower- The Tim Hightower Experiment wasn't one of my finer moments. See ya! Hart- well, I was just hoping Hart could recapture some of the magic that made him one of the best high school running backs of all time. Or at least not suck very much. Scheffler was another one of my failed experiments to replace Jermichael Finley.
Oct. 16- Dropped Lawrence Tynes, added Sebastion Janikowski- Tynes was not 100% sure thing to kick for the Giants that week, so I figured 'what the hey' and picked up the Raiders K. What was initially meant to be a one week trial for Janikowski ended up in a full-ride scholarship. Hey, if colleges can pay their players under the table, surely a Fantasy Football team can offer to pay for a guy's education.
Oct. 20- Dropped Hart, added Chris Ivory- Going off of memory here- I believe that the only reason that Hart was even playing was that the guys ahead of him were hurt...and then he got hurt. And the guys ahead of him were getting better. Or something like that, who knows. Only, nostalgia is no reason to keep someone around in Fantasy Football. So sayonara Mike Hart. As for Chris Ivory? Injuries waylaid him too...just long enough for me to drop him, someone else to pick him up, and for him to score 15 points in back-to-back weeks late in the season, which of course for me would have been amazing.
Oct. 27- Dropped Ravens D, added Cardinals D and Ryan Fitzpatrick- I remember, very clearly, in the draft room when I drafted the Ravens D, and everyone was like, 'good pick Parksy'...and only 2 months later, I can't get rid of them fast enough. What happened, Ray Lewis? Are you trying to tell me that it's more important for you to win real games by playing sound defense than it is for you to score me lots of fantasy points by gambling and possibly get out of position? What kind of sick, sick bastard are you? Well, just to spite you, I not only dropped you from my roster, but I picked up the very Harvard-educated QB that carved you up like a cooked bird- the immortal Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Oct. 30- Dropped Jermichael Finley, Michael Crabtree and Sam Bradford, added Josh Freeman and Mike Williams- I am not usually prone to making careless or impulsive decisions...oh wait. Yes I am. However, this case isn't all careless or 100% impulsive. Freeman ended up starting some games for me, as did Williams. And besides- I picked up Crabtree and Bradford later on in the season. Obviously they were still available not because they were not very good- but out of blind loyalty to my managerial awesomeness they rebuffed all other offers and just waited around for me to call them back.
Nov. 2- Traded Chad Henne and Ryan Fitzpatrick for Jay Cutler and Jon Kitna- This trade actually worked out well for me. No, really, it did. After Tony Romo got hurt, there was a virtual QB carousel that never seemed to stop. By trading Henne and Doogie Howser, I was able to narrow it down to Josh Freeman. And if Kutler ever decided to snap out of his funk? Then I got a top tier fantasy QB for pennies on the dollar.
Nov. 3- Dropped Ivory, Kitna, and Scheffler, added Marcel Reese, Todd Heap, and Bradford, (Sam- welcome back- we missed ya! What's that? No no no no- that's not Jay Cutler chilling on the bench. Why would I pick up another QB- you're my #2 guy!) Also, at this point my search for running backs has all of the glamor of spring break college students and one night stands. I decided that I'm done with that. From now on, I'm going to be a faithful 2 running back guy (Turner and McFadden)...and, just to be safe, I'll get their back-ups too (Snelling and Reese). I suppose this is akin to marrying a woman, and then taking her sister to be your concubine. Unfortunately, I screwed up my waiver priorities,not thinking about the fact that no one would be going after Reese. And so it is that I messed up a chance to pick up Dallas Clark 2.0 (Jacob Tamme) at TE.
Nov. 10- Dropped Reese, added Josh Scobee- With my kicker on a bye week, I figured I'd add a kicker to help fill in for those missing points. And Reese was on a bye week too, so I was 100% confident if I ever wanted to add him to my roster again, I'd know right where to find him.
Nov. 13- Added Jacoby Ford- Anytime you have a young player with a name that can be legitimately pronounced more than seven different ways- well, you have to give that guy a chance, right?
Nov. 16- Dropped Josh Scobee- Well, I would have lost by more than 2 if I didn't have him, so thanks Josh. Oh, and thanks for missing 2 field goals and costing me the game, you twit (interesting bit of trivia...Josh Scobee was my first ever fantasy football kicker).
Nov. 17- Dropped Ford, added Crabtree- Sorry Jacoby. I'm sorry.
Nov. 23- Traded Mike Williams and Josh Freeman for Big Ben, John Kuhn- Well, after last season's controversy and chaos, it was nice to report that I was the perpetrator of this years first big conspiracy theory. Never mind the fact that this desperation move to get into the playoffs was contingent on A) Me winning both of my last two games, B) Team Doomsday losing both of his last two games, and C) Big Ben racking up huge amounts of fantasy points. Of course, most of those things didn't happen. Which is why I'll be watching the playoffs at home. On my TV. Hey, maybe I can invite the Detroit Lions over!
Nov. 23- Dropped John Kuhn- Dear John- I regret to inform you that you have been waived from the NORTH Michigan Snow Flurries. It's nothing personal- in fact, it's not you...it's me. You're a great guy, a hard working player, and you've even scored some. It's just that...well, the last two Packers I had ended up on Injured Reserve, and I have commitment issues.
Nov. 23- Traded Darren McFadden for Steve Johnson and Reggie Bush- This same trade was initially proposed to me with Javhid Best included. I turned it down, and counter-proposed the 2-for-1 trade. Oh, Javhid Best. I proposed a hail-mary trade for him after he torched the Eagles in Week 2, and was quickly turned down. Who would have thought that later in the season, Best would not only be a trade throw-in, but that he would get trade thrown-out?
As far as the trade itself goes- it was really just a strategical risk for me. McFadden has been a stud this year- but he's started to slow down as of late. Johnson, meanwhile, carries the p-word that all WRs carry. No, not that one. Potential. Maybe this is all in my head, but RBs seem to be more stable in their points- fluctuating usually on their TDs week to week. WRs? Sometimes they might get you 5 or 6, but one week they might get you a couple TDs, and a couple hundred yards and have like 20-30 points. Did it work? You'll have to tune in for my 2nd half synopsis to find out!
Nov. 24- Added Browns D- At this point in the season, anytime you can find a defense on the waiver wire that is playing a historically bad offense, you have to take a chance.
Nov. 30- Dropped Steve Smith, Cardinals D, Browns D, and Hernandez, added Rob Gronkowski- In what historians will likely call The Day That the Snow Flurries Waved The White Flag, I decided to waive the injured Smith (a solid possession receiver who would be a valuable playoff asset...if I was going to make the playoffs), my reserve defenses, and a rookie TE who could have been my amazing waiver wire pick-up. Unfortunately, Bill Belichik decided that I should have picked up the TE that his team drafted higher, and decided to mess with my mind by making Hernandez an integral part of the game plan just long enough to hook me in, and then BAM- he pulls him from relevance with the mere wave of his hand. Sheer cruelty. from the hand of the master. You win Belichik. This time.
Well, that's all the time we have for that. I hope you enjoyed it- or at the very least, you still want to be my friend. Like I said, tune in next time. For stuff.
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