Hammer of Thor, Chariot of Goats

Go forth...um...mighty...goats?

Okay, so I play this table top miniatures game called 'Heroclix'. It's a superhero game, and I'm a big dork. So anyways, it's been around for about 6 years, and I played it when it first came out. I gave it up at one point because it had become too big a part of my life, and I was spending way too much money on it.

Fast forward to 2008. We're visiting my parents, my brother has me play a game of Heroclix with him, and I whup him. Bad. Well, maybe not a 'bad' whupping, but I beat him. So I get the itch to play again. And I figure, 'I'm older, I'm more mature. This spending thing won't get me again'.

Honestly, I am doing better than before, but I'm still the same old impulsive, wreckless, possession-lusting Jason. I don't even want to know how much money I've spent on this stupid game that I DON'T EVEN GET TO PLAY! I mean, have you ever tried having young kids and a tabletop game with miniature pieces? It doesn't work!

So what is the point of this post, you might ask. You might also ask for my phone number, and if you are a creditor, I am inclined to say 'no thank you'. Well, the point is I am FREAKIN' EXCITED about the next expansion set, Hammer of Thor. Yes, I realize that up until now, this post did not show any signs of that, but you know what? YOU CAN'T FIT ME IN A BOX! OR A CAKE! OR A MINI COOPER!

When I first got back into Heroclix, I was a 'DC' guy- DC being DC comics. I like Batman, I like Superman, I love the Green Lantern Corps, and more of the DC universe is a mystery to me. I mean, Marvel is cool (Spider-man, Iron Man, Hulk, X-Men, etc.), but I like the unknown, the unexplored, and DC has more of that to me. Maybe it's because they're comics suck, I don't know. As I've said, I'm not much of a comics reader. But I'm a DC guy.

Last summer, Marvel Heroclix comes out with an expansion called 'Secret Invasion', tied into the same-named comic miniseries in which an alien race (Skrulls) have infiltrated the hero teams, and are planning to take over the world- and no one knows who the Skrulls are (since they are shapeshifters). So the 'Buy it by the Brick' figure (10 boosters is a 'brick') was the Illuminati Super Skrull, who has the powers of Professor Xavier, Iron Man, Black Bolt, Namor, and Mr. Fantastic. Well, this intrigues me, so I buy the comics. I get hooked, 'blam!', order a brick, and to make a long story short, the pendulum swings back a little bit towards Marvel. It doesn't help DC that their own latest expansion set, 'Arkham Asylum', has NO Green Lanterns (although there are a handful of Sinestro Corps members) and a brick figure (Joker) that didn't really excite me.

Marvel? Their next brick figure, for Hammer of Thor (March 2009) is the above pictured Thor, rocking the Goat-drawn carriage. OMG, I am SO out of my mind looking forward to this set. I don't even know all the characters, but I'm ordering a case (a case is 2 bricks, so 20 boosters) so I can get 2 of those things.

So again, what is the point of this post/blog entry? It might seem to be a tad incoherent, rambly, and not well put together. Kind of like me in some aspects. I just wanted to let you all know that I am really excited about this figure, and I can't wait until March of next year!

3rd Party Candidates in a nutshell...or at a glance, if you have a peanut allergy

A couple weeks ago, I posted on 3rd Party candidates as agents of change. I must have sparked some sort of revolution, judging by the hundreds of e-mails I've received from loyal readers, asking where exactly these candidates stand on the important issues.
I really miss cheesy ads and alien invasion...

Okay, so those e-mails were sent to me by myself, from made up fake e-mail addresses. Don't try to confuse me with 'details' or 'facts'. I'm thinking about adopting relativism as my new manta.* Seriously though, relativism doesn't make sense to me. I mean, sure, I can see why people would WANT to adhere to it- basically zero accountability deification. But when you say 'there is NO such thing as absolute truth', isn't that making an absolute statement, thus nullifying itself? It sure sounds better than 'there may or may not be absolute truth'. Or 'aliens are invading, would you please pass the turkey?'.

So back to the purpose of the post. I'm going to weigh in on some issues of the 3rd Party candidates that are on the ballot in Michigan. According to CNN.com, the top 3 issues for voters are the economy, healthcare, and terrorism. Since this is my blog, we'll go by my top 3 are economy, foreign policy, environment

First off, we have Cynthia McKinney of the Green party. Hers was the most difficult website to navigate in terms of finding issues. I had to glean a lot of this stuff from the Green Party Platform/Manifesto. I also found out that the Green Party supports the legalization of marijuana. And Rosanne Barr supports the Green Party.

Economy-
Cynthia McKinney would close tax loopholes and repeal the Bush tax cuts for the top 1% of income earners. She would fairly tax corporations and deny federal subsidies to those who relocate jobs.McKinney would fight for an the opportunity for every family to have gainful employment at a ‘living wage. She would also set a goal of carbon neutrality within the next 20 years, which would benefit our country both in more jobs and a better environment. She would seek a repeal of trade laws such as NAFTA and CAFTA, and labor laws like Taft-Hartley. McKinney would advocate for equal pay for equal work.
Environment-
It’s the green party, duh? Anti-carbon, pro-renewable resources. And legal hemp. Don't forget legal hemp.
Foreign policy-
Basically, the Green Party platform says, 'We want military recruiters out of our schools, an end to funding for war, products for war, preparation for war, intelligence for war and funds used to to maintain or expand U.S. military presence at home or abroad. We need an end to all wars and occupations by U.S. forces'.

Next up, we have one of the Baldwin brothers, Chuck Baldwin, of the Constitution party. Well, I'm not sure if he's REALLY one of the Baldwin brothers, although he could be. Baldwin could be his maiden name too, for all I know.

Energy-
Chuck had nothing to say about energy, which leads me to believe that he lives in a log cabin in the mountains. Why did I come to that conclusion? It's simple, really. I found the answer on http://www.chuckbaldwinlivesinalogcabininthemountains.com/

If the above were an actual website, than this picture would have come from that website. Just imagine that Chuck and the constituents of the Constitution party are marching on your house to beat you up because you didn't vote for him.
Economy-
In order to keep jobs in this country, Chuck Baldwin favor a tariff based revenue system, A tariff on foreign imports, based on the difference between the foreign item's cost of production abroad and the cost of production of a similar item produced in the United States, to protect American jobs and, at the same time, raise revenue for our national government.
Foreign policy-
Chuck is a very pro-military man, but in an UnderArmor sort of way. You know, 'WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE', not 'click clack'. Chuck would begin the process of safely extracting our troops from Iraq. and stop playing policeman of the world. Baldwin believes that the primary obligation of the federal government to provide for the common defense of the United States of America. Chuck still supports a very strong military, although not for the purposes of invasion, but of protection of America.

Hello, Bob Barr of the Libertarian party. Imagine if our president was a bar. Now name that bar, 'Bob'. That's the kind of excitement America needs!

Energy -
Bob Barr feels 'the free market should be the foundation of America’s energy policy. The federal government should eliminate restrictions that inhibit energy production, as well as all special privileges for the production of politically-favored fuels, such as ethanol. Congress should allow the exploration and production of America’s abundant domestic resources, including oil in the Outer Continental Shelf and Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and alternative sources such as shale oil'.
Economy-
Bob thinks govt. needs to spend less, and stick to fundamental economical areas of govt. in the constitution, which are protect property rights, adjudicate disputes, and provide a legal framework in which voluntary trade is protected. He thinks that doing this will allow American’s to keep more of their own money. 'Every area of federal spending can and should be cut. Entitlements must be reformed and welfare should be cut, including called corporate welfare. Military outlays should be reduced and pork barrel spending eliminated'.
Foreign policy
Bob thinks that America should not be the world’s policeman. 'Our military should provide a strong national defense, not to engage in nation building or to launch foreign crusades. Bringing the soldiers home would better protect America while saving lives and money. American foreign policy should emphasize swift, decisive and winning action against those who vowed would harm us. This means defense, not foreign intervention. We should encourage private involvement around the world primarily through free trade'.

Notice I just flat out quoted Bob several times, instead of paraphrasing. I couldn't do his words justice. Plus, I'm sick of typing.

We've all heard of Ralph Nader, THE Independent candidate. He has the most in-depth website, and lots of similarities to Green party ideology (he ran as a Green Party candidate in '96 and '00, according to Wikipedia). Not sure where he stands on the marijuana issue, or the Rosanne Barr issue. Wait a minute...Rosanne BARR, Bob BARR...hmmmm...this is why I distrust the political process, and think that tyrannical dictatorship might be the way to go.

Economy
Nader believes that equitable trade, improving the infustructure, creating a new renewable energy efficiency policy, fully funding education and redirecting large bureaucratic and fraudulent health expenditures toward preventive health care will create millions of new jobs.
Nader would rework the federal budget to spend more money on things like infrastructure, public works, schools, libraries, sustainable energy and pollution controls, and less money on the military. Some ways he would cut military spending would be reduce strategic nuclear arsenal to 1,000 warheads, close unnecessary military bases, overhaul the Pentagon's financial management operations, and reinvest in diplomacy. Other policies include Progressive Taxation, Equal Pay for Women, Child-Care, Living Wages for All Workers, Restore the Social Safety Net
Foreign policy- Nader had nothing to say about Russia, which leads me to believe that he does not like hockey. Maybe he should run for office in Canada- obviously they don't like hockey, since all of their teams end up moving here anyways.
Nader would reverse the current policy in the Middle East. Nader proposes a rapid withdrawal of troops from Iraq- a target of withdrawing troops in six months.
Energy-
Ralphie urges a new clean energy policy that no longer subsidizes entrenched oil, nuclear, electric and coal mining interests — an energy policy that is efficient, sustainable and environmentally friendly. 'We need to invest in a diversified energy policy including renewable energy like wind and other forms of solar power, more efficient automobiles, homes and businesses one that breaks our addiction to fossil fuels. A new clean energy paradigm means more jobs, more efficiency, greater security, environmental protection and increased health'.

Here are the candidates websites:
McKinney- http://votetruth08.com/
Baldwin- http://www.baldwin08.com/
Barr- http://www.bobbarr2008.com/
Nader- http://www.votenader.org/

All quotes were taken directly from the candidates websites, unless I got them from somewhere else.


Thank you for bearing with me. Whoever you vote for, know why you are voting for them.


*Some of you might have said, 'he means mantra'. You were wrong.

Busy weekend, busy life.

Hello all,
Well, this is sort of a first in my blogging history- a banner day of sorts. I'm not contemplating deep issues or anything like that, nor am I doing anything 'silly' or 'pop-culturish'. I'm just giving a brief update on how things are going.

My mom, dad, and youngest sister came up for a visit this weekend. It was an awesome time, and as always, it went too fast. We just kinda hung out, played with the kids. My dad got to see me drum at church. We watched a Batman movie. We shopped at Target, and I got a flu vaccination.

I got to watch Sara perform an aria at NMU on Saturday. It was her first time singing in a couple years, and she NAILED it...it was such a moment of pride, knowing that the hot soprano hitting all the notes and warming the souls of the crowd was MY wife...I'm so blessed, fo shizzle!

Right now, I'm blogging, but I'm also working on a small presentation for my Social Welfare Policy class, talking about the issues that are important to me in the upcoming presidential election, and where the 3rd party candidates that are on the ballot in Michigan stand on those issues. I'll try to get something on here early next week, so you have some time to chew on it before the election.

I got my Common/Uncommon/Rare set of Arkham Assylum Heroclix figures. I'm pretty impressed my many of the sculpts. One of them, 'Thinker', looks like he stepped right out of the Matrix...I mean, the actual Matrix, you know, the computer part. It looks very tight! I'm bummed, because I probably won't get to play for the rest of the semester, but it's all good. I'm going to catch up on Christmas break.

This Friday (Halloween), my apartment complex is having a small 'Music festival'. It's not like Ozfest or Cornerstone...it's not even like a Hiawatha or Bliss. It's just some people at NMU sharing their talents/love of music. I am going to play drums with some buddies, and I'm going to play some guitar- like a solo act. I'm a little nervous, but it'll be good to stretch myself. I plan on doing a couple worship songs, some originals, and maybe even a Christmas song or two (yes, it is getting to be that time of year again).

Classes are going okay, I'm not doing as well grade-wise as I'd like- I got a 79 on my Marriage and Family midterm, and I think I probably scored similarly on a recent Social Welfare Policy exam. But this semester has been one of tremendous personal, emotional, and spiritual growth. It's almost like Oprah came to our house and gave a pep-talk. Or Ty Pennington gave us an Extreme Home Makeover. Or Batman came and...well, I'm not really sure what he said, but hey, it got results.

I can't really think of anything else right now. I do have to actually get some work done on my project, and get some reading done. So I'm going to end this milestone event not. Just remember, God is good, He loves you, if you are reading my blog then you are awesome, and stay tuned for more silliness, seriousness, and everything in between. Blessings as you grow with me!

Top Ten Superhero Movies

Congratulations on making it this far. It's like making it to the Final Four of Survivor. Or to Bryant Park on Project Runway. Or to the actual Final Four. Either way, the fact that you stuck with me this far shows that you have intestinal fortitude. It also shows that you have actual intestines, because othewise the homeostasis of your body would be completely off kilter, and you might saunter off into a coma, or worse- a como. A como is just like a coma, except worse.

As promised, I present to you (try to hear this being said with a big, booming voice and lots of sparkles) Jasons Top Ten Superhero Movies!

10) Batman forever- Okay, if we're going to be adults here, this was a terrible movie. Batman (a different Batman, to boot) had nipples, Tommy Lee Jones was a silly Two-Face (especially in contrast with Aaron Eckharts sinisterly chilling rendition), and lots of bright neon lights. It made the first two Batman movies seem like they were filmed in black and white. Why is this film in my top ten? One word: Jim Carrey. Much like Tom Brady and a very solid team concept/brilliant salary-cap management/solid defensive schemes singlehandedly willed the Patriots to three Super Bowl titles, Jim Carrey's performance as the Riddler managed to upset the balance of power and make a bad movie into a winner. Or at least, a 'Hey, I'm proud of you guys for overcoming a 21-0 deficit AGAIN and losing only by 7. To the Houston Texans' movie.

9)Dark Knight - Before anybody backs me over with a bus, or threatens to slash my face, or slams my face into a pencil, or straps me to a barrel of gasoline and blows me up, allow me to explain why this top-whatever grossing film is bumping uglies at the bottom with Batman Forever. Well, I can explain. See, I'm not a fan of gore/horror. And while this was no 'Saw' or 'Hostel' or 'Looney Tunes', it was definitely a dark and disturbing movie. I'm sure when I watch it again, I'll like it a lot more. Lots has been said about the amazing job Heath Ledger did as the Joker, but Aaron Eckhart deserves kudos too for a great Two Face. This movie also had one of the top Movie Scenes To Be Satired On You-tube. Go to You-tube, and search for Batman Interrogation Scene. Trust me.

8)Spider-man 2 - While this movie suffers from some of the same crap that Spider-man 1 does (which I am not going to talk about now, read it later and then apply it retroactively to here. Saves me time and makes more work for you), it also has many of the strengths of the first Spider-man (which I will list, because after all, I'm all about positivity. Think of this as my maintaining feng shui of my bloggage). Great casting, great chemistry, great special effects, great villain, great internal toil and struggle. What it has that Spidey 3 doesn't is cohesion and a fluid pace. Oh, and it also has Alfred Molina, who was in one of the most underrated funny movies of all time, The Man Who Knew Too Little


6/7) Tie between Batman Begins and Batman- I couldn't bring myself to seperate these two Batman franchise pilots. While they are two completely different movies, they also both reek of the same awesomeness. Batman B.C. (Before Christian) had Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Bassinger when she had some amount of self respect, and Jack Palance. It was the movie that brought Batman into the darkness...I mean, before, he was going around in the shadows wearing gray and blue? With yellow accents? Are you kidding me? He might as well have announce his presence through a megaphone and wear flashing lights. Tim Burton made Batman one with the night, which forever made Batman cool. While some would debate Nicholson's rendition of the Joker (even I was so moved by Ledger's Joker that I went to the rooftops and told the world I was in love and didn't care who knew it), he did his interpretation well. He was very much funny and maniacal, all at the same time. Classic music, and the best part of all- in Axis chemicals, in the beginning fight scene, the gun shots sound like the gun shots did on 60's television shows. Not like the smooth 'silencer' sounds of today.

Here, I am going to pause briefly to ponder the merits of our multiversal Bruce Waynes. I don't consider Val Kilmer or George Clooney to have actually played the role. I think those were mutations, and history will undoubtedly prove me right. Michael Keaton beats C.Bale in terms of Batmanness. He was cool, collected, and had just enough of a gruff voice to scare you, but not enough to make you say 'I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. You mind, um, saying that one more time?'. Seriously, check out that video on YouTube. Christian Bale, however, pulls off Bruce Wayne much better. Probably because he is, in all honesty, a much sexier man than Michael Keaton. Keaton was in Mr. Mom, for crying out loud! Christian Bale has never been in a role where he stepped beneath his God-given right as a man to not have to cook, clean, or use a vaccum cleaner. Plus, Bale bought a hotel when they told him to leave. Of course, Michael Keaton had a great 30 second stint as the arrogant Bruce Wayne, but Bale spent much of the first movie living it up as a billionaire playboy. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

What Batman Begins lacks in nostalgia, it makes up by just being a better movie. Well paced, good insight into HOW Batman became the Batman. Cool special effects. Liam Neeson and Cillain Murphy played complex villain roles rather well. This movie showed how flippin' scary Batman would be to the average overworked/underpaid henchman. This movie shows also that perhaps Batman doesn't have actual enemies, just people that can't understand him when he talks. Maybe we aren't seeing conflicts as much as we are witnessing misunderstandings. I mean, I would probably shoot at Batman if he tried to carry on a conversation with me. And I would hopefully hit him in the throat and dislodge whatever it was that was clogging his trachea.

5)Spider-man 1 - Some people probably would have ranked this higher...maybe even #1. Some people also eat onion rings. So I try not to go by the opinions of some people. My wife calls this list 'subjective'. It's not subjective- it's 'obsubjective'- basically combining the best of objectivity and subjectivity. Spider-man will score very highly in terms of casting, for sure. Music, love it. Special effects, great. Story, fantastic. So what gives? Well, here's the deal. Spider-man movies move VERY slowly in terms of action. Now, I know that part of the appeal of Spidey is that he's an 'ordinary guy' (yeah, like we all have been bitten by radioactive spiders and possess above-average intelligence or a combination of the two), so the story is important. But to me, Spidey falls a little bit into the classic 'tweener' category. Like, 'I'm not a drama, but I'm not an action- I'm impressionistic!', or something like that. Here's the deal, and if you're reading this, then you probably know me. I was misdiagnosed as 'normal'. However, I have ADD. I can't back this claim up 'scientifically' or 'medically'. I'm just guessing. But that's neither here nor there. The point is that, if I'm watching Spider-man after having seen it already, my mind is wandering far, far away, because there isn't enough action in it for me. If I wanted a story, I'd learn to read and then I'd read 'Pride and Prejudice' while sitting on the couch in my bathrobe, eating ice cream and crying my eyes out.

4) Iron Man - If there was anyone who was made to play the drunken, arrogant, womanizing Tony Stark, it was Robert Downey Jr. It was like God made Robert Downey Jr. to be a drunken, arrogant womanizer so he could breathe the breathe of life into this movie. Mr. Downey Jr., living the dream. This movie was balls to the wall action, but paced well, AMAZING effects, good dialogue...the only thing that kept it from being ranked higher is the whole 6 minutes of Iron Monger- seriously, can we get some sweet supervillains to get some real screen time?

3) Mystery Men - I'm willing to bet that a few of you might not have heard of this movie. I know I hadn't until I heard about it from some friends. I have to tell the truth- this movie changed my life. I realized, on that day, that I too have a superpower. I, like the Spleen, have the gift of gas. Not the gift of gaB. The gift of gaS. It's like the gift of gab, except you fart from your butt instead of your mouth. But I am getting WAY off topic. Mystery Men is not like the other movies on this list- it is straight comedy, yo. And it's B-movie quality in some respects. But it makes my top three because it is SO funny. I'll tell you who the heroes are and their powers, and then I'm going to compel you to go watch it so you know just how funny it is. Okay, there is: Shoveler- God-given gift to shovel well. Blue Radja- Throws silverware (but not knives, he's not Stab-man). Mr. Furious- Um, he actually has NO powers. Invisible Boy- Can become invisible when no one is looking at him. The Bowler- Throws a bowling ball that has her dead father's skull set into it (it's actually a lot funnier than I'm making it sound). The Spleen- Flatulance. The Sphinx- Terribly mysterious. There are tons of funny quotes, randomness, and one-liners . Seriously, check this movie out. After all, 'what the fork?'.

2)X-Men 1- To me, this movie will forever have a place in my heart as the movie that made comic movies chic. It was the ground breaker. Sure, there were comic movies before X-men, many of them. But they weren't like X-men. See, Batman and Superman transcend comics. They are cultural icons. Everyone knows Batman and Superman, they're the Worlds Finest, man! The X-men were more of a niche in terms of popularity, more associated with comics than with pop culture. X-men changed that, it brought comic books into the broader scope of 'cool'. It showed that comic book panels could be translated to the big screen, and it could look GOOD (other than the fight scene on top of the Statue of Liberty, which is terribly CGIobvious). This movie was great, and would have been the best, if not for...


1)X-men 2 - My brother blatantly disagrees with this choice. He thinks that there is only 10 minutes of great footage, that this movie bored him. Here's the thing- I'm calling shenanigans. There is so much more to X2 than just 10 minutes of awesome. Think about all of the trilogies that you've seen- Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, X-men, Spider-man, just to name a few. Okay, now tell me that X2 isn't the BEST 2nd Movie In A Trilogy that has been made. That alone is consideration for the top slot. But how about these apples: Lady Deathstrike, Magneto gets out of plastic prison, Cyclops new visor, the Airplane/Storm scene, Pyro going ape on the cops, the freaky 'is that a boy or a girl' kid in Professor Xaviers mind (okay, that's not a plus for the movie, I'll give you that)...but what takes the cake, what really put this movie over the edge and into the hallowed halls of Blog Immortality is the opening scene with Nightcrawler. If you can name one piece of cinematic history that tops this in terms of awesomonomy, I will call you a liar and give you a junkshot. There is none...BAMF BAMF BAMF- this scene single handedly convinced me that the number one power I would want to have as a mutant is the ability to teleport (along with telepathy, telekinisis, accelerated healing factor, the ability to control ice, the ability to control fire, the ability to control the weather, the ability to shoot lasers out of my eyes, and the ability to throw a deck of cards and have them explode. Oh, and to turn my body into organic steel). Plus, that whole Brotherhood/X-men camping trip where Wolverine puts the moves on Jean Grey, and then Mystique puts the moves on Wolverine as Jean Grey/Storm/Rogue/General Striker. Good thing that Wolverine stabbed her in the first movie, otherwise he'd probably have gone off and married her, and then spent the rest of his life wondering why there were two Jean Greys, and why his smelled like blue paint and latex.


There you have it. If you have long suffered in your waiting, I hope your pain was relieved. If I caused you pain by having read this, you cannot sue me, because I have nothing of value, except this lamp...

Campus Legend

First of all, I just want to apologize for being frickin' busy. I've just been way too frickin' busy to update my frickin' blog. However, I have NOT been too busy to include the word 'frickin' in my introductory paragraph. At the rate I am going, I will seriously contend for the World Record for Amount Of Times Using 'Frickin' In A Frickin Blog.

I have found time to play a little NCAA Football 2008 in my spare time (I'm always a year behind on the sports games, because it doesn't make sense to me to spend $50-$60 on a game that I know is going to be obsolete in a year...I just wait and buy last years when the new one comes out and save a fortune. Also buy used, because most of the time you can get a used game that works just like new for much cheaper. In this paragraph, I am going for Longest Sentence Contained Within Parentheses).

While I'm thinking about it, I LOVE the smell of Playdough, and if it tasted anything at all like it smells, I would eat it. Most Random Aside?

Anyways, here's what I usually do on these sports games. I get super stoked, create me and a bunch of my friends, spread them around on a few different teams (because if they are all on the same team, you have to decide which friend has to play defense or kicker, and I find this impacts my real life relationship with that person). I start a dynasty, and often don't make it to a second season- because I have to play so many games for so many different teams, it's hard to stay enthusiastic when you've played 60 games and you aren't even bowl eligible yet. So I scrap the dynasty, and usually start over, which wastes tons of hours of my life, even more of a waste than video games already are.

Well, I recently started a 'Campus Legend'. At first, I was apprehensive, because it goes against so much of what I love about college football games. You have zero coach responsibility. That means no redshirting, no picking the sched, no recruiting...and as I have found out, no controlling defense or other ball carriers! I can't tell you how many times I've had to watch my fullback plow straight into the line and then turn all the way around to try and find a hole, only to get dumped in the backfield for a 5 yard loss. Whatever happened to forward progress, anyways?
You also can't really call plays. Oh sure, you can audible. But there are only so many plays to pick from with an audible. I am convinced that the biggest challenge of 'Campus Legend' is not overcoming defenses designed to stop you, but to overcome the incompetence of the computer coach. I think his name is John Cooper.

In '08, your campus legend actually starts during the high school playoffs of your senior year. While there wasn't a lot of customizablility, I tell you it was very cool to lead my team to the state title over other made up teams. Maybe someday they'll have a high school football video game. I would SO buy that!

Anyhow, I ended up being a 5 star prospect and having my pick of the litter. But everyone wanted me to be like 3rd or 4th string. Don't you know who I am? I'm Jason Parks!! I led Bullock Creek to the State Title!! I'm a 5-star prospect!! Plus, as far as you are concerned, I am the deity of this little video game world, because I am in control of the all-powerful reset button!! So I ended up going to Duke...not a program steeped in tradition, but they did offer me a starting spot, and they are in the ACC, which is a far cry from Arkansas State or North Texas, a couple other schools that offered me a starting spot. Hey, I'm not doing this for charity, people. I got dreams!

I'm not going to bore you with a lot of details (too late, right?), but I have turned a 5-7 team my freshman year into an 11-1 team playing in the Fiesta Bowl. I won the Heisman as a sophomore, I own every school record in rushing (I'm SO an option QB...conventional offenses bore me), and my campus legend meter is full. Basically I'm the king of the Dukies (read that out loud for full effect).

My point in all this? I'm having way more fun doing this legend mode. Sure, it stinks to not be able to control anyone other than myself...my defense is completely at the mercy of the simulation generator, and if I get hurt, then I can't play PERIOD. And I wish I could call my own plays. But I've already played 2 seasons in the amount of time it would take to play a half season of a regular dynasty, even controlling just one team. I don't have to worry about getting anyone else their stats, I just gotta gets mines. I'm the BMOC. Everywhere I walk, cyberspace girls fawn over me (which actually isn't as cool as it sounds).

So what is the point of this, you say? Well, there is no point. I just didn't have time to finish my superhero post, and I wanted you all to know that I am working on it. In fact, think of this section as the rider on a bill.

Jason Parks sat on a fence, Jason Parks had a great fall...

I'm going to try and break down what I feel like God is doing in me at this current place of time.

I guess a brief synopsis would say something about 'where the subjective meets the objective', or 'removing the head from the equation', or 'seek and destroy'. It's been quite a week, let me tell you!

I guess it's been something that has probably been birthing for a while, but pieces really started to come together earlier this week. I posted on a thread on Facebook, 'Proof that God exists'- this really intellectual thread, with each side trying to provide logic or reason or empirical or scientific evidence for the existence/non-existence of God. So I was like 'I just don't think that God is going to be 'solved' or 'proven' either way with an intellectual argument, because there is lots of logical arguments for AND against God. We won't find evidence either way, because God is a matter of faith. The best argument for God is the personal experiences of those who have encountered the mysteriousness that is the supernatural'.

Okay, hold your applause/tomatoes. I'm not finished. One of the guys pro-God was like, 'personal experience is subjective'. And that's true, but it's not the whole picture. So I was like, 'If lots of people are experiencing the same feelings/experiences, or miracles, then what does that mean? What about homosexual denominations? From what we understand about the Bible, it condemns homosexuality, but yet there are denominations that are experiencing the same feelings/experiences as mainline ones.What does it all mean? Now, I am all about Christ as absolute Truth, it's my personal apologetics statement- if Christ is telling the Truth, then that seals the deal...but then that comes down to faith as well, because we can't 'prove' that the Bible is or isn't the word of God. Atheists (and others whom we dispute with) have a good point against us when we use the Bible as proof that the Bible is the Word of God- because you have to have the faith to take it as an authoritative document in the first place....What does this all mean? Well, for starters, we should pray. Because if we're doomed to be forever locked in this game of intellectual tug-of-war, then the only thing that will turn the tide in our favor is the intervening actions of an omnipresent God'.

This may be hard to believe, but I actually took content out of both of those posts. Anyhow, it was actually quite an illuminatory thing for me as I wrote that. I mean, I think I've known that stuff for a while, but to actually retreive it from the deep recesses of my mind, it was like 'Dude. Sweet!'. My biggest struggle in my walk with the Lord has been the reconciliation between the head and the heart, the so-called '18-inch journey'. It's like God is really trying to remove the 'head' aspect for me, because true faith lies in the heart and is not subject to the rationalizing of our minds.

The other cool thing was the (again) previously-withdrawn belief in the need for the power of God to manifest. A friend from downstate, 'Glen' (his name may or may not have been changed to protect his innocence and confidentiality) has been saying for years that Jesus is going to be showing up in grocery stores, on the streets, in power, ya know? We're well past the point of being able to convince people through our words of the merits of Jesus. It just isn't going to work, the world is too 'smart' for that. Intellectually, Jesus just isn't going to cut it. People have better things to do than 'church'.

By my count, there are 3,117 different religions out there (although I didn't actually count, I totally just made that number up), and many of them have similar aspects. If we want Jesus to stand out, then we need to be allowing Him to work through us in POWER. Because if we really believe in this God and what He says, then we have access to an amazing list of attributes- the ability to give sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf, walking to the crippled, LIFE to the DEAD...and supposedly demons will be afraid of us. And this is way cooler than 'church'.

Now, I thought I had this it all figured out, 'bam', on the right road. Then last night happened, we had a guest speaker from New Zealand through California. And he was basically speaking about the exact same stuff that I just said! You know, like God wants the 'kingdom to be released through us', and that revival will come 'from us'- because Christ is inside of us. And you know what happened? I completely dropped the ball. At the end of the service, he was like 'who wants revival'. People basically bumrushed the front of the church- I mean you could feel it in the atmosphere, the 'God electricity'. Of course, I didn't, for a couple reasons- 1) I'm not the type of guy to just do something because everyone else does. Now, I'm not trying to say that others did that. I'm just saying that at that time, I was aware that I was not feeling pulled to the front, so I didn't go to the front. But the OTHER reason was 2) I'm still struggling with this whole 'leave everything' concept. I mean, I'm getting closer than ever before, but I'm honestly still struggling inside with the thought of being completely abandoned to God- it's scary, ya know? And because of that, I probably allowed myself to stay back, because of a fear of what revival coming out of me would look like, what that would mean for me.

To keep this post short (too late, right?), I won't go through the entire sequence of events- just know that I did feel God, and then it stopped, and I am now trying to figure out what the hell is going on. A friend of mine had a quote on another friend's Facebook page (and I know they are both my friends, because they confirmed it by adding me as friends on Facebook) that 'if it didn't wreck you, you didn't encounter God'. And you know what? I'm pretty wrecked right now. So I must have encountered God. But now what?

Well, I'll tell you what. Matthew 7:7-8, Hebrews 11:1. Look them up, I've already taken up lots of cyberspace and time. I'm going to keep pressing in. I'm going to keep living outside the box. I'm going to keep fighting against my 'socialization' and the expectations placed upon me by 'society'. And I'm going to trust in this wrecking God that He is going to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Top Five Accents

Okay, I just got back from church, and the guest speaker had a sweet New Zealand accent. My wife and I were talking about how cool it sounded, and it got me thinking about my favorite accents. Accents are cool, and also they are subjective, since repeated exposure to them tends to make them more 'normal' and less 'accentish'. But truthfully, Lower Michigan is the standard 'sound', and all the rest are the accents.

Without further adue, my top five accents:

5) Yooper- O yah, you betchah! Ever since moving up to the UP, I've loved this accent. It's amazing in it's synchopation, and it makes you feel like sitting up in a treestand and shooting at wild animals.

4) Austrailia/New Zealand- G'day, mate, let's throw another shrimp on the barbie! I might catch flak for combining these two, but I can AND just did, so booyah!

3) Russian- This is probably birthed from the mysterious 'motherland' that I knew very little 'ov' as a child, while the cold war wound down. Such a harsh sounding language, but it makes villains sound even villainier, which of course every villain needs, except John Travolta in The Punisher. No amount of Russian accent could have redeemed his evil hand jive.

2) Irish- This really could have been ranked 1-A. I love all of the accents from the British Isles, but Irish is one that really makes my heart smile. When I try to do a fake Irish accent, it usually morphs into a bastardized version of Irish/British/Scotland...a sort of Irishishlandish accent.

1) Scottish- My love of the Scotish accent was birthed in Alma, Michigan- Scotland, USA. There, me and my cousin Chris broke into these pseudo-British accents and proceeded to start making fun of the 'stupid Scots', and pledging allegiance to the queen. Except that we were using Scottish accents and making complete fools of ourselves. And thus were the Scottish cousins born.

I realize that this might be a boring blog post, so to spice it up, try reading each different section in it's appropriate accent.

Top Ten Superhero Movies: The movies that didn't actually make the Top Ten

Alright, installment number one of my compelling saga about Superhero movies...unless you consider my other entry as the first entry, which would make this one the second. But I think of that as more of a 'prologue' or 'preface' or 'acknowledgment' or 'introduction' or a combination of all four of those things- the 'profaceledgetion'.

So I'm gonna do it 'Top 10 Countdown' style, so that the suspense will keep building and building, and you will all be on the edges of your seats, and about ready to burst when I reveal my number one. And you will all sing songs about how glorious of a Top Ten-erer that I am. Also, I'd like a pony.

So to start with, I'm gonna first list the movies that didn't make the cut, and a (hopefully but not likely since it's me and I'm extremely long-winded) brief synopsis of why the movie didn't make the cut. Like in Project Runway, I wished each failing movie 'Auf wiedersehen' like Heidi Klum, and kissed them twice, once on each cheek, except for Batman & Robin, which I did NOT kiss, and in fact slapped across the face with an open hand.

First, the Terrible-As-All-Get-Out movies:

Superman Returns- Okay, I was absolutely stoked about a new Superman when I heard about it. Superman is so iconic, and the thought of watching him fly around and destroy evil with new CGI technology really made me excited. And there was that awesome airplane scene, which by itself might be almost enough to make this movie an owner. But here is the thing- the movie was just a nicely packaged rehash of the original 'Superman' movie- but without Christopher Reeves as Superman. Same plot...no thank you.

Batman & Robin- Um, wow, just terrible. George Clooney was made for ER. Alicia Silverstone was made for clueless. In fact, the redeeming trait of this movie is the brief cameo of Michael Reid MacKay (the guy who got turned into Bane), who played Jason 143 in X-Men 2, and who was blessed by God with an extremely ugly and creepy face. It was terribly sad to see Joel Schumacher ruin the proud Batman franchise 1.0, although Tim Burton started the downhill descent with a God-awful Batman Returns.

Batman, seriously. How are you going to strike fear in your enemies when all they can think about is the nipples?

Batman returns- God-awful. Christopher Walken, who is in my top five list of 'Fathers that I would not want to date their daughters (along with Hulk Hogan) looked so creepy that he was silly- you know how if you sit in front of a fire for too long, it starts to feel cold? That's what happened with Christopher Walken. Danny DeVito was not a very good Penguin (that, and the Penguin has never been a fav villain of mine...think about a fat bird that wabbles and can't fly. Where is the danger in that?). Some think that Michelle Pfieffer is sexy, but I'm not buying...so she had no redeeming qualities to me as Catwoman (although Halle Berry, who is sexy, didn't exactly fit my view of Catwoman. Maybe they should have taken someone from the show 'Cats'.

Now THAT is a Catwoman

Fantastic Four 1 and 2- Here's my two main beefs with the FF franchise- 1) No way if the Invisible Woman of comicdom was Jessica Albaesque does she choose Reed Richards over Victor Von Doom, especially if Mr. Fantastic has the same handsome deficit to Doctor Doom that he did in the movies. 2)How does Doctor Doom, an evil genius on par with Mr. Fantastic, lose to the FF TWICE while basically being an all-powerful being- especially when he was in possession of the Power Cosmic in the second movie. NO WAY! These movies did have some redeeming qualities- Ioan Gruffud, Chris Evans, and Michael Chiklis were very well cast as members of the Fantastic Four, so they got 75% of the casting right. And the special effects of the Silver Surfer were amazing! Oh, I just remembered beef #3- the botching of Galactus. Yeah, that would have been a huge undertaking, but I would have rather they just skipped a Galactus cameo and then did him awesomely in Fantastic Four 3 than doing a sucky 10 second stint. This to me rivaled the exclusion of Shelob from 'The Two Towers' in terms of Things That I Expected That Didn't Happen In A Movie That Made Me Mad And Almost Inspired To Write My Congressperson.

Ghost Rider- Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider. Seriously, you try to put the softest actor in Hollywood as an avenging spirit? That, and Mephisto/Blackheart in human form wasn't really doing it for me. If I'm watching a comic book movie, I expect to see characters like they would be in the comics. Ghost Rider, you disappointed me one too many times.

I'm not really seeing it either.

Daredevil- Ben Affleck made a wonderful Matt Murdock. But as Daredevil? How about no? Plus, Kingpin was NOT black in the comics...I realize that might not be a politically correct thing to say, but it's also not comic accurate, and in this case, comic accuracy trumps civil rights. And Jennifer Garner a good Elektra did not make. How she scored a solo movie out of this terribly portrayed movie has to go down as one of the biggest coups of movie history.

Hulk- Let's just say this about Hulk. Hulk released in 2003, and they completely severed ties with it in the movie that released in 2008. I mean, it's one thing if like, say with Batman, they're like 'okay, we've let this thing run it's course, 4 movies is plenty'- and then waited like 15 years to redo it. But this is just ONE movie and only 5 years later- the fact that Hollywood did not thing it would be worth their wasteful spending to do a sequel speaks volumes about 'Hulk Smash'. More like, 'Hulk Suck'.

Judge Dredd- Here's the difference between high school sophomore Jason and Jason now. Back then, high school sophomore Jason thought that Sylvester Stallone was a great actor. He thought Rob Schneider was funny. He thought that Judge Dredd was an awesome movie. Whereas Jason now realizes that high school sophomore was an uncultured idiot and wishes he could go back in time and beat that Jason up.

These ones JUST missed the cut:

Punisher (with Thomas Jane, not Dolph Lundgren)- Disclaimer- I saw it on FX, so I saw the edited version. If I would have seen that guy get his piercings ripped out, this would not have been as high on my list. I liked Thomas Jane as the Punisher, and that part of me that cries out for justice was tickled pink at seeing the Punisher cut down the swarms of bad guys on his mission of revenge. 'Via con dios, Go with God'. The Punisher says, 'God's gonna sit this one out', very funny line.

Why it missed the cut: I'm not a big fan of violent films. That and John Travolta. I mean, seriously? You expect me to watch this and not think he's going to break out into Saturday Night Fever or the hand jive every time he's trying to be 'evil'? Maybe he does the evil hand jive, which looks a lot like the hand jive, but without that stupid Grease song.

Spider-man 3- Spider-man movies rate very highly on my list in terms of casting- greatness fo' shizzle. I love Venom, the Sandman special effects were off the hook, I loved the music (especially the film score when the Sandman first becomes the Sandman), and seeing Tobey MacGuire play a 'bad' Peter Parker was funny stuff. Oh, and the scene in the cathedral was one of the best in the entire Spider-man trilogy. It started off with Eddie Brock praying for God to humiliate Spider-man (which was really funny) and ended exactly the way I always pictured the symbiote binding to Eddie Brock. So what gives?

Why it missed the cut: Obviously they didn't learn anything from Batman & Robin. You really can't do any more than 2 villains in a movie and expect coherent plot development. They just tried to fit WAY too much into that movie. And let's be honest- they totally butchered Venom. I mean, I was stoked to find out that he was going to be in the movie, and in tears of disappointment at how they slaughtered it. He should have been WAY larger than Spider-man, he should have talked monsterish, he should have been the bad guy for the whole movie, he SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED- I stayed through the credits at the end, expecting symbiote residue to crawl across the cement. That's 5:17 of my life that I can't get back. The mishandling of Venom alone almost made this movie fall off the map, and only the redeeming qualities listed above allowed this movie to save face in the 'just made the cut list', saving it from being lumped in with really sucky movies like the Hulk and Batman & Robin.

X-men 3- Congrats, Brian Singer. You left X-Men for Superman- and in the process ruined not one movie, but 2 movies!

Why it missed the cut: Look, X-Men 3 was executed techincally well as a movie, but it totally lacked the magic of the first two. If you watch them back to back to back, you'd think that someone tried to slip Judge Dredd in there at the end. I mean, seriously, this movie did not fit with the first two. Plus, I have a significant list of complaints against X-3. 1)They mishandled the Phoenix. 2)They mishandled Juggernaut. 3) They killed Cyclops. 4) They killed Professor X. 5)Mystique looked different. 6)No Nightcrawler. Wow, why did this movie just miss the cut? Maybe I'm not qualified to rate movies. Maybe you're not qualified to read my blog. Let's just agree to disagree...

Well, that's it for the failures. Tune in next time when I actually GET to the top movies...you'll love it, unless you hate it.

Superhero movies are awesome, I am awesome, therefore I am a superhero movie

Who is that masked man?

As much as I would love to tell you that I have been receiving a lot of external pressure and fan mail to work on a blog of my thoughts about superhero movies, that would be a blatant lie. I would never blatantly lie to you, because that would hinder my aspirations of political advancement. That's neither here nor there.

Here's an oddity about me. I LOVE comic characters- I play a superhero game called Heroclix, I love playing video games like Marvel Ultimate Alliance and X-Men Legends, I love the movies and the TV shows- but I don't read the comics. I've started a little bit more, Marvel did a big crossover event this summer called 'Secret Invasion' that got my interest piqued, but I'm not a comic reader by any stretch. But I love the characters...so much so that I don't consider superhero movies that aren't based on comics to be frauds. Sky high? Fraud. My Super Ex-Girlfriend? Nope. The Incredibles? Um....well, Pixar transcends comics, so they're legit.

While I don't have a history with comics, I do have a history with the characters, through
various mediums. So I do have ideas in my head about the characters, how they'd look, how they'd act, how they'd smell. So this is the criteria that I use to judge my superhero movies (except the smell, all DVD's have that delicious 'New DVD' smell when you open them, so they all pass!).

I'm realizing that there is probably going to be a LOT of things I want to say about a LOT of different movies...so for now, I'm going to break down what I'll be writing about. First, a list of the movies I will include in my completely objective, obviously empirical 'study'.
Superman Returns
All 6 of the Batman movies (4 from the 1st franchise, and the 2 new ones)
Fantastic Four 1 and 2
Ghost Rider
Daredevil
Hulk
Iron Man
Judge Dredd
Mystery Men
Punisher (with Thomas Jane, not Dolph Lundgren)
Spider-man (1-3)
X-Men (1-3)

That's a lot of movies, and not even all the comic movies that have been released! I didn't include ones that I haven't seen, so I won't be talking about Catwoman or Elektra at all (this might mean that more people read my post, so I'm excited about that). I also didn't include the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, since A) I haven't seen those movies in a while and B)they would have totally wrecked the curve, as they were the best movies in history.

In terms of what I'll be laying out in terms of completely well-thought out and in no way arbirtrary critiques, I'll be rating films based on:
Casting (as I said, I'm really into the characters, so casting can make or break a film for me)
How much I liked the movie
Trilogy/Multiple titles in franchise

I'm really looking forward to sharing my thoughts on superhero movies, I think you'll find them interesting, and I'm also looking forward to hearing your thoughts about my thoughts, so I can then tell you what I think about your thinking about my thinking. Phew, got all that? See ya on the flip side

Oops

Um, I'm still working on my superhero movie post (actually, that's a blatant lie, I haven't even started it yet, I'm just trying to cover my butt since in my last post I said I was going to be writing about that in my NEXT post), I just wanted to clarify something.

Last night, it was brought to my attention by my lovely wife that the link on my facebook page to this site was being blocked as a 'malicious' site. Now, I'm not a malicious sort of guy in the least, and I certainly didn't have anything that I felt could be construed as 'malicious'. I went to bed in tears.

Okay, that is a blatant lie as well.

Now that I have blatantly lied to you twice in two paragraphs, I am officially ready for a life of politics. I digress. But that's not what this post is about. I just wanted to let you all know that I figured out why my blog was considered 'malicious'. At the bottom of each post, you'll see the 'labels' for the posts. One of them has 'Juno'. The post in question had 'Michigan', 'football', and a word that starts with 's' and rhymes with duck. Or truck. Or luck.

I can see why having that word as a label would send off red alarm lights to Facebook. I'm just sad that the word 'suck' has been so degenerated. It used to just mean that you didn't like something, or something like that ;) Anyhow, the reason I even put it as a label was I thought it would be funny. But obviously it was malicious. Lesson learned. Don't try to stick it to the man, because the man will step on you and eat your entrails with crackers and soup.

Tune in next time for 'Some Random Thoughts About Superhero Movies, Unless Something Else Catches My ADD Attention Span And I Write About That Instead'

You want change? Then change the whole freakin' thing

As some of you may be privy to, 2008 is a presidential election year. This is quite newsworthy, I just found out about it myself....

Hi, I'm a moron. I'm also totally kidding.

Anyhow, Barrack Obama is campaigning on this whole concept of change. The past 8 years have been the worst of our miserable lives, and we have the power to change that, if only we'll vote for Barrack Obama, then things will change (presumably for the better, right?), that's basically the mantra.

Well, here's the thing- I agree with Obama. We do need change. I'm just not sure if Obama is the guy to do it. This campaign is pretty much the tipping point for me in terms of the amount of crap-tolerance I have for political stuff. The last debate was retarded- it was like two male peacocks striving to show off who had the most ridiculous plume. Both candidates speak in generalities, which is going to be good enough to sway much of the masses either way, but doesn't really let us know what is going to happen when they are president.

This is the first election I've cared about things like economic issues, the environment, foreign policy. I used to just look and see if a candidate was pro-life and anti-gay marriage. If they were, then they were my guy (or gal). Now, that's changed. I don't begrudge people that vote for those two issues primarily- after all, we aren't going to find the 'perfect' candidate, so it really is all about finding out what's important to us. If those issues are your go-to guys, then by all means fire away. I'm just saying, that this election my priorities are different.

Having kids has been the most profound change I've ever gone through in terms of my awareness of self and others- yes, even more so than marriage. I mean, it's one thing to know that kids are helpless and completely dependent, it's another thing to be responsible for kids in small chunks of time, and it is a COMPLETELY different ballgame when they are YOUR kids, and you are TOTALLY and in EVERY way responsible for their wellbeing. So right now, I'm looking at these candidates and saying, 'which one is going to ensure the best future (to the best of their abilities within 4 or 8 years, anyways) for my kids'. I'm looking at things like the economy, the environment, foreign policy, health care (because I want to be around to enjoy my grandkids) harder than ever before.

What is my point in all this? Well, taking a more critical look at the political process makes me realize how completely ridiculous it all is. I mean, watching the debates was pretty eye opening (that, and I'm taking a social welfare policy class, so I have a more informed lens to look through) about how this whole thing works- McCain talking about how Obama voted on this energy bill, and Obama firing back that McCain voted against children's health insurance. Man, both of these guys must be hypocrites.

Except here is the thing, both of those statements were sound bites- little bits of quotable material that take the place of actual information. See, there is so much more to policy than can be summed up in a couple words. Those policies are too complex to make them 'either-or' propositions, but that's what the candidates try to do. The sad thing is, there are probably lots of people that vote based on these 'sound bites', and don't actually dig for the facts. So McCain voted against a children's health bill. Maybe it was a sucky bill, maybe it would have ended up in too much governmental intrusion, maybe it was written in latin, whatever- it's not so simple as saying, well McCain is a moron. But that's what people vote by, is the ticker news.

If we really want change, we have to start looking at other parties as viable alternatives. Democrats and Republicans have gotten complacent as the only 2 parties that seem to matter. Campaigns have degenerated into personal attacks, half truths, and mass confusion. And while people have probably been sick of this for much longer than I, we feel trapped, because if we don't vote, then we aren't letting our voice be heard, and we feel like we have to vote republican or democrat, because they have a monopoly on our attention for political parties.

Look, if you agree with McCain or Obama on your key issues, then vote for them, that's not my beef at all. And I can't tell you much about any 'third' parties, so am I a hypocrite? Absolutely I am. I'm just saying that we need to take more time and critically evaluate WHY we are voting the way we are voting. If that means we break from party lines, then so be it. If that means we vote for Ralph Nader, then do it. Voting for another rendition of the 'status quo', no matter how prettily packaged (and I gotta admit, the Obama 'O' does look pretty cool), is still the status quo.

America, it's time to rise up and make ourselves matter in this political process. We can make a change with our votes, if we know why we are voting for who we are voting for. Don't just vote for someone because you want change, know what kind of change you want, and who can make that happen. I'm not saying 'vote for McCain'. I'm not even saying 'vote for Nader', because like I said, I don't know much about those other parties. I'm saying, 'think about why you are voting for whoever you vote for'. Besides, the only thing that Obama is absolutely sure to change is...the answer to a trivia question

This message is not endorsed by any political candidate or party, although I would be more than happy to take money from their 'campaigns'.

Wow, I've been laying on the heavy. My next post will deal with something more lighthearted...superhero movies, anyone?

I have questions, questions that need answering

Okay everyone, come here, sit down real close...bring it closer...closer... TOO CLOSE, A LITTLE TOO CLOSE! I have to lay this down right now- we have to be honest, both with each other and with everybody. According to a recent Gallup Poll that I just totally made up, two thirds of US citizens cite honesty as the number one thing they look forward to in a relationship (to me, this joke is funny because I'm talking about honesty and using a deceivingly made up statistic to amplify my point. For further clarification please bang your head against a wall and reread the above). Seriously, though, one thing I despise about myself sometimes is how I'm not always 'out there', I'm not always 'real'.

It's a real easy trap to fall into. You know, the 'how are you doing, everythings fine despite the fact it's falling apart' trap- small talk, basically. I wish that I had the intestinal fortitude at all times to just be real, to bear myself for what I am at any given moment. While it's easier to be 'myself' on a faceless blog than it is as a named face, it's a step in the right direction.

I plan to say things that you might not expect me to say. I plan to reveal thoughts that you might not expect me to think. Does that mean I'm wrong? Does that mean you're wrong? I don't know. I just want to be me. You know what? I believe in absolute truth. You know what else? I don't always know how to apply that to a morally ambiguous world. You know what else else? I don't want to pretend I do.

For years, I have been frustrated by the stereotype that Christians were 'closed minded'. I'm equally frustrated that the Christian response has seemed to be 'well, we have the truth, so we don't need to open our minds'. My thought? If we believe Christ as truth (which I do), and that the Spirit will show us truth, then I don't think we have anything to fear by opening our minds. Now, does that mean that I think we need to try heroin at least once (or something like that, oddly heroin was the first thing that came to mind that was moderately "PC")? Um, no. What it means is that I think a healthy introspection of our beliefs. We need to engage in critical thinking, instead of just shutting down when something doesn't fit our definitions.

I'll give an example- Gay marriage. I don't think it should be illegal. Now, let me explain. I believe gay marriage is morally wrong. I'm against it, it's a sin, all that stuff. But should the government be deciding those kinds of things for us? That's where I've kind of took a step back and evaluated. In 2004, I was gung-ho against gay marriage in every regard. Now, I'm thinking that the government shouldn't really be deciding things like that in our personal life. And let's be honest. Our job as the church is to be the moral compass of society. The government sure isn't going to be, especially since there is this dead horse insistence on 'church vs. state', and if we're going to be a true democratic society, then I'm not sure we want government deciding areas of personal choice. What about if a governmental regime gets in power and rules that it's against the law to be a certain religion (Christianity for example)? A buddy on my worship team said it like this- there's only one Government that matters.

Honestly, this is a really hard thing for me to post, and it's really a little thing. But this represents the power of socialization, or man pleasing, however you want to word it. As I wrote this, I kept thinking of different people that might read this, and kept thinking, 'what will so-and-so think about this?'. That's crazy powerful, you know? But I want to show how POWERFUL this concept is, and how deeply entrenched in our being. We are taught, from very early on, that we need to do what we can to fit into society, and the deviance of others (and the consequences they face) reinforce this in us. As a result, when we get older, we are so trained to try and 'fit in' and care about what others think, that we become a slave to it.

My reason for writing this is more of a 'disclaimer' of sorts. I play to bare my soul on these pages. I may not fit into an 'archtype' that I'm supposed to fit into. I might say something that I shouldn't say, or think something that I 'shouldn't' think. Just keep in mind, this is my quest for truth. I'm tired, I'm tired of being a social role. I'm tired of being a demographic. I'm sick of being so concerned about what others say or think. I'm Jason Parks, and this is who I am. Let's figure this thing out, together, like iron sharpening iron. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes you're wrong, but to really submit to God, we have to first be able to break from from slavery to society

Sending out an S.O.S. for U-M football

Okay, I have to put in a disclaimer that I didn't watch the Michigan game today. I haven't watched much Michigan football over the course of my lifetime. That's because I am a DIEHARD Michigan fan...at least I consider myself one. 'How can you be a DIEHARD fan if you don't even watch their games', you might be thinking, especially after I put the question in the blog. Well, the reason I don't watch is because I'm SO passionate about the Wolverines, that I get very angry when watching them if things go bad- like throw stuff angry. Now, I'm not talking 'give up a touchdown' to lose the lead bad. I'm talking simple stuff, like overthrowing a wide-open receiver in a meaningless game against a MAC school.

At least, the games against the MAC USED to be meaningless. Now, understand, I'm not trying to knock the MAC. I cut my college teeth at CMU, and am very proud of the progress that the MAC has made against big college programs. And if Toledo had beat any other major conference team on the road (like they did in 2000 when they beat Penn State), I would have been whooping it up for the underdog. But see, here's the thing- this wasn't just any other major conference team- this was the MICHIGAN WOLVERINES!!! And this wasn't just any other stadium- this was the BIG HOUSE!!! How do we let, in back to back years, little football peons come into OUR house and walk out as victors? Sure, we have a new coach and a completely new system (which I am actually excited about), and Toledo is historically a solid mid-major program. But I am hurting at the realization that we are not going to have a winning record this year, we are not going to a bowl game, and barring a miracle, we are not going to beat Ohio State. That last one irks me most of all- maybe it's just payback for the Cooper years- because I hate Ohio State- even my Scottish cousin, Chris, who is more like a second brother, couldn't remove the stain of my hate when he chose to attend there. Then Terrelle Pryor rubs it in my face by choosing the Buckeyes over us...okay, I'm getting off on a tangent. My point is that this college football season is already a lost cause for me- and we aren't even halfway done. At least there is the Lions...um...crap. The whole football season is shot.

Go Red Wings!

Photo taken from ESPN.com

Juno and a bad bumper sticker

Well, last night we watched the movie Juno, with the girl who played Shadowcat in X-men 3 (Ellen Page) and Michael Cera, who is a really funny straight man (not like heterosexual straight, but like straight as in, 'I'm really funny but I'm really serious' straight man). It also had Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman (really glad to see J-Bates reemerge from the '80's), and the guy who played J.Jonah Jameson in the Spider-man movies, J.K. Simmons(probably one of the best casting jobs EVER...I'll post on that sometime, Sara and I went through and systematically ranked several superheroes on several criteria) . It also had a small cameo by Rainn Wilson, who plays Awesome Dwight Schrute in The Office, my fav TV show EVER (beating out Prison Break and Alf).

I'm not going to do a synopsis- if you haven't seen it, then go rent it, it's really good! It has very good dialogue, which kinda reminded me of Gilmore Girls- very witty, well delivered. Ellen Page was SPOT ON with her character, and had several memorable quotes (which of course I don't remember- that's cause there was SO many!). It also tackled some really tough topics- teen pregnancy, abortion, divorce, discrimination- in a light hearted, juvenile manner, but not so light hearted that it didn't make you stop and think. And the juvenilinity (is that even a word?) was appropriate, since most of the movie revolved around a teenage concept of the world.

SPOILER ALERT- I was really glad that she did adoption versus abortion (I'll share more of my thoughts on this topic later down). When they were in the hospital bed, and both Juno and her boyfriend said that they didn't want to see the baby- I just couldn't comprehend that! Having two of my own, I was floored. But then, it was a completely different situation. Kudos to people that are strong enough to give up their babies for adoption- I thought about what it would be like if we were to give our two kids up for adoption (granted, we've had them in the home and become attached), and it was the most miserable gut wrenching thought I've ever had. Children are such an amazing, beautiful gift from God- it takes a lot of self-sacrifice to allow your child to go to a place where they'll have a better chance to make it. God bless you if you've ever given a child up for adoption.

Now, to tie this into the bumper sticker...I've seen this a couple times, a bumper sticker that says 'Say no to sex with pro-lifers'. What an ignorant thing to say, to me that summarizes the 'pro-choice' mantra. You know, I understand that sometimes a woman might get pregnant from being raped. That's tough, and I'm not going to presume to say that I know the 100% right thing to do in that situation. I'm not even going to give an opinion, because rape is such a traumatic experience, and I haven't gone through it, so I don't really KNOW about it, you dig? And maybe a doctor says, 'Your child will be born with a significant birth defect'. Because doctors have never been wrong, right? I have a friend who got told that same thing (I don't remember the specific defect), had an abortion recommended, and declined. Today? He has a very healthy 5 year old daughter who is SO beautiful. So suck it, doc! Seriously!

For most women, though, it seems like 'pro-choice' is a replacement for 'pro-ho'. They want to sleep with whoever, whenever, and not have it matter. Now, understand that I'm not saying it's okay for guys to do that and girls not. Guys who are permiscuous are just as bad. God made sex for marriage, one man, one woman, ya know? And yeah, we live in a crazy, mixed up culture, whatev. Obviously, God is able to redeem any situation, and sometimes divorce might be the best thing to do. But that's off topic.

My point is, 'Say no to sex with pro-lifers' is an ignorant statement that speaks volumes about the level of accountability and responsibility. You do the crime, you do the time. 'Woman's body, woman's choice'- well, what about that baby, who has no name, and apparantly, no choice. It is sad to live in a world that condones murder in the name of 'freedom'. It was awesome to see a Hollywood movie acknowledge the sancity of life, and show that yes, there are alternatives to abortion.

I'm Jason Parks, and I approve this message.

First Post

I've debated for a while setting up my own blog...after all, I think that I have a lot to say, and my big problem is that it takes me a while to say it. So, for example, someone could say something in class, and then like 30 minutes later, I come up with this amazing, awesome-laced response...except we've already moved on. Bummer, dude! And I don't want to bring it up, because then I'm like the guy that wears his varsity jacket 10 years after graduation- just can't let go of the past, ya loser! (Of course, I am the guy that wears his varsity jacket 10 years after graduation...so booyah!).

I feel like I have a lot to say. I'm smart, funny, and dog gone it you people will like what I have to say! And if you don't? Then let me know, and after a ridiculous amount of time I will get back to you with e-spit in your face and tears from my eyes.

I'll talk about a lot of different things. Spirituality, parenthood, music, sports, heroclix (a table-top miniatures game based around Superheroes...if you're interested in learning about it let me know), politics, movies, quotes, food, school, the culture, family, travel...you name it, and I'll talk about it as long as it was named on the list that I just gave.

I'm excited- this is a banner time in our history. This is a time when kingdoms will rise and fall, when heroes and warriors will go forth in battle and our lives will be forever altered. While I struggle sometimes to stay hidden from this unstoppable future, there are times when I too long to take up my Fathers sword and slay the dragon. I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you, and hearing your thoughts about my thoughts. And then maybe, we can grow together and learn to embrace our destiny. Enjoy!