This one actually comes from the vault- a blog that I fully intended to write, many months ago, that just kept getting pushed to the side for other, more lucrative ones (that, and I'm pretty lazy). But as our friends at Disney have proved time and time again, it is totally okay to brag about a secret "vault" and drag really old stuff out of it, and then pretend it's like this really big deal and charge people lots of money for it.
Anyways, this blog dates back to when I was working in one of the group homes, which is headed up by a couple that is LDS. For those of you who don't know, LDS is acronym for Latter Day Saint, or Mormon, as they are more often called.
One of the greatest things that I have taken away from the social work program at NMU is that I have a much greater appreciation for the diversity of humanity. I'm able to talk to people of different religions, political persuasions, and affectional orientations without automatically putting up the defense wall that usually went up before. I'm much more in tune with what we have in common than what separates us.
So the family would have local missionaries come over to their home for meals. I never asked, but I assume that this is sort of the way it works- the church body working together to provide some basic meals/socialization/ministry opportunities for their missionaries. It was pretty cool- they usually came over and kicked it with us on Friday nights, and then we'd see them Saturday mornings playing basketball at the church.
It was a pretty interesting experience, overall- getting to interact with these missionaries in a normal-type setting (as normal as a group home can get, I'd wager). Of course, they were always dressed up- but they never really "came on" to us as far as "religion" goes- they'd answer questions, but for the most part they were very chill.
Now, as I type this, I'm very aware of potential reactions that might be starting to rise to the surface. I believe this is so because I used to be in this manner. Religion is such a touchy subject. It's tough to approach in a manner that is mutually respectful- because people are so convinced of the truth and reality of their own beliefs, they can't see past those beliefs in their assessment of other human beings.
It's a lot like our taste receptors on our tongues. Our bodies respond to the tastes of certain foods- sometimes apathetically, sometimes passionately. And when someone does not share the same taste as we do- we can't handle it. We can't process it. Our minds are unable to wrap around the thought that this very concoction that is so so pleasing to our taste buds can be greeted with apathy or disgust by another person.
I feel that we respond to our beliefs in the same way- not just religion...I'm talking politics, child-rearing, sports teams- the things we hold to tightly, we are sometimes faultily loyal to. Michigan/Michigan State play this weekend. If you're a "football" fan, you're going to watch and view this game much differently than a U-M fan will- even though you're watching the same game. Your ability to be objective has been compromised by your emotional attachment and investment.
So I am very aware that my writing about a topic concerning religions, specifically my interaction with another religion, is potentially a hot-button issue. However, I think that there is a deep truth in what I am trying to convey that compels me to move past that.
So here is the story. If you are at all familiar with my ability to tell stories, you know that this is not going to be a story in the usual sense of the word; rather, there will be some words formulated into sentences, which hopefully come together to arrive at some sort of a conclusion.
One Saturday, a lunch was being prepared. The wife in the group home dyad was being assisted by one of the missionaries, and I was sort of hanging out between the kitchen and dining room. Somehow we started talking about God- I probably asked them some question about being a missionary or something. I really should have wrote this down- Disney doesn't have to remake 'Beauty and the Beast' because they just keep it in their vault. Obviously I suck at vaulting.
So the wife (we'll call her "Sandy") asks me about the possibility of Sara and I having missionaries over to our house. In the spiritual realm, this is akin to being a married man at a bar who gets hit on by the hot blond at the end of the table.
Hence the title of my blog.
It was a very surreal moment for me. I didn't faint, but that doesn't mean that my head wasn't spinning- and swimming- and all sorts of other things that heads do. I mean, this was a pretty violent intersection between the belief system that I had known and the belief system that I was coming in to. This sort of conflict between the idea of having these people come over and listening to what they had to say out of respect for their humanity and their beliefs versus the idea that they are deceived sinners heading to hell and my obligation to speak the "truth" to them.
One thing that I really got an appreciation for during my time in this home was the humanity of the LDS missionaries. Yes, they are always way overdressed. They couldn't watch movies. There were all sorts of things that they could and couldn't do. In a way, I thought it was very silly- such a futile exercise in "religious" activity. In another way, I admired their tenacity- their willingness to sacrifice parts of themselves, and their identity, for the good of others- and whether you believe that LDS (or any religion) is right or wrong, the fact is that they did this thing, and gave up all sorts of comforts and luxuries that I would legitimately have a difficult time giving up.
We never did invite any of the missionaries over, for a few reasons. Chief among them was that we were busy- it seems like we're always so busy, but this happened in the last semester of my undergrad career, so we were balls to the wall. The other reason is that I didn't want to "lead them on". That is, I love the idea of listening to other people's beliefs and thoughts on things- but not in that context. It's way different than having a casual conversation about religion.
The End (What, I told you I was a crappy story teller)
Well, I promised a deep truth, and while its tone has ran through this post, it has also been treading just beneath the surface. So I'll reach into the water and grab it before it slithers away, and then bring it up to the sunlight, its scales glistening in the sunlight. I learned this from a very wise woman, and have spent the past couple years imperfectly walking it out. The key (in my opinion) to any human interaction is to be humble enough to know you can learn something from somebody else, even if they are different from you in every way. You can't approach someone of a different religion/political stance/third thing in an arrogant fashion, or you will quickly lose the respect of your audience.
There is something to be said for being able to listen to another person's story, to their thoughts and their worldview- to have human interactions without an agenda, but just sharing a part of yourself with someone else, and them sharing a part of themselves with you- and maybe both of you go your separate ways and reject those parts. That's fine. But it's way better to get hit on by a missionary and go your separate ways than it is to kick that missionary in the balls and then have to run away from the cops (obviously I'm speaking metaphorically).
No comments:
Post a Comment