Over the summer I wrote several times (maybe not here but certainly on Facebook) about my frustrations and failings in life- specifically in the arena of employment Really, though, it was all-around a difficult summer. A difficult summer coming directly off the heels of a previous difficult summer, fraught with opportunity after opportunity falling through and... well, to say there wasn't a lot of hope would be like saying the Tigers kind of swept the Yankees to advance to the World Series (possibly a shameless ploy to justify labels to increase blog traffic).
So I feel like now, after a whirlwind month that has witnessed some changes and what I feel are significant steps forward, I owe it to those who stood beside me and held me up, hoped for me, prayed for me, encouraged me, and believed in me- I owe it to them to write about the good stuff, too.
One month and one day ago, I was sitting home sick and watching some television when I got a call to come in for an interview. One thing led to another, and one month and one day later I have a honest-to-goodness job in social work. Score! Oh yeah, and also after spending five months of living under someone elses roof, Sara and I signed a year lease for a mobile home (with 3 bedrooms to boot!). For the first time in years, life doesn't feel like a piece of Saran wrap stretched tight over my face.
It's been quite a journey over the past couple of years. Right after graduation, I took a job (ironically enough, at the same place that I work now although the experience is already 100% completely different) that drove me into the most pervasive and destructive pit of emotional despair that I have ever been in. I spent about three months hating life and feeling like I could never be whole again.
It's taken a few years, but things are heading in the right direction. I'm enjoying my job so far. It's been challenging- but it's a good challenging, the type of challenge that brings growth and development. As opposed to the challenging of the last few years, which was more about the challenge of trying to survive.
I'm not naive enough to think that my entry level social work position and trailer park living signify any sort of "arrival". But after a couple years of questioning whether I could fulfill the promise that my education seemed to tease and wondering if we'd spend forever cashing in bottles to prevent bounced checks and using loose change to buy a Hot-N-Ready for dinner, we've found stability. A little stability. But it's stability, and for us, a little stability feels like heaven.
Even if that heaven exists in a trailer park.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Sunday, October 14, 2012
No way Jose
Disclaimer- I'm a social worker, so I believe that each and every human being has inherent value. Also, in America I believe that everybody has the right to pursue whatever type of career they so choose and it isn't my place to tell someone what they should or shouldn't be doing.
But Jose Valverde can no longer be the closer for the Detroit Tigers.
I don't know if Valverde is a sleeper agent for the Yankees or what (and looking at his stats against the Bronx Bombers, I'd believe it), but he has certainly been awful for most of 2012. Yet the Tigers keep trotting him out game after game after game, to a chorus of groans and soul-crushing sadness.
Why?
Look, I love Jim Leyland as much as anyone. In this era of hyper-awareness and health consciousness, I think it's great that we have the Marlboro Man managing our $119 million baseball team. But I also think that Jim might be too close to the situation to realize what Tiger fans realized pretty early on- Jose Valverde is not a good closer.
I'm not even sure if he's a good pitcher at this point- maybe he could be, if he could pitch in low pressure, non-save situ....(thinks back to every time Valverde pitched in a non-save situation) ah forget it. Valverde is an awful pitcher.
Too bad that we have him signed to a long term deal and we have to being repair...wait a minute, what's that you say? Valverde is a free agent and even though he's making $9 million this year to sabotage our playoff chances, we are not under contractual obligation to him next year?
This is amazing!!!
Do you realize what this means??? Jose doesn't have to play. This isn't little league, Jim. Cut him, waive him, revoke his scholarship- whatever you have to do, just keep him off the field. Sure, it might throw off his mojo or whatever, but he's a free agent. Why should we care about his possibly shattered confidence? Lord willing he'll be doing this for someone else next year. I say sit him on the bench and pitch the guys who can, you know, get the other team out. Shoot, I'd rather have pre-hipster-glasses Rick Vaughn or Whitt Bass at this point.
To Leyland's credit, he seemed to indicate that there is at least a chance that Valverde won't be closing the rest of the playoffs (and if divine justice is a 'thing', never ever again while donning the olde English D). I certainly wouldn't let him. At this point, I wouldn't even trust Valverde ordering for me at McDonalds during lunch hour.
I'm sure Jose Valverde is an interesting human being who could be a lot of fun to be around. As a closer though, he has less worth than the box that Hiro-San is bringing down the aisle. It's one thing to give up a bunch of 9th inning runs in Yankee stadium in April. It's quite another to do it in game 1 of the ALCS.
Mike Ilitch is paying 21,686,545 Hot and Ready pizzas to bring a World Series back to Detroit and right now, the biggest thing standing between that us and that title is Jose Rafael Valverde. Jim Leyland, please, for the love of all things good, do the right thing- Bench Valverde. Drop Valverde from the postseason roster. Forget that Valverde exists. Profit.
But Jose Valverde can no longer be the closer for the Detroit Tigers.
I don't know if Valverde is a sleeper agent for the Yankees or what (and looking at his stats against the Bronx Bombers, I'd believe it), but he has certainly been awful for most of 2012. Yet the Tigers keep trotting him out game after game after game, to a chorus of groans and soul-crushing sadness.
Why?
Look, I love Jim Leyland as much as anyone. In this era of hyper-awareness and health consciousness, I think it's great that we have the Marlboro Man managing our $119 million baseball team. But I also think that Jim might be too close to the situation to realize what Tiger fans realized pretty early on- Jose Valverde is not a good closer.
I'm not even sure if he's a good pitcher at this point- maybe he could be, if he could pitch in low pressure, non-save situ....(thinks back to every time Valverde pitched in a non-save situation) ah forget it. Valverde is an awful pitcher.
Too bad that we have him signed to a long term deal and we have to being repair...wait a minute, what's that you say? Valverde is a free agent and even though he's making $9 million this year to sabotage our playoff chances, we are not under contractual obligation to him next year?
This is amazing!!!
Do you realize what this means??? Jose doesn't have to play. This isn't little league, Jim. Cut him, waive him, revoke his scholarship- whatever you have to do, just keep him off the field. Sure, it might throw off his mojo or whatever, but he's a free agent. Why should we care about his possibly shattered confidence? Lord willing he'll be doing this for someone else next year. I say sit him on the bench and pitch the guys who can, you know, get the other team out. Shoot, I'd rather have pre-hipster-glasses Rick Vaughn or Whitt Bass at this point.
I'm sure Jose Valverde is an interesting human being who could be a lot of fun to be around. As a closer though, he has less worth than the box that Hiro-San is bringing down the aisle. It's one thing to give up a bunch of 9th inning runs in Yankee stadium in April. It's quite another to do it in game 1 of the ALCS.
Mike Ilitch is paying 21,686,545 Hot and Ready pizzas to bring a World Series back to Detroit and right now, the biggest thing standing between that us and that title is Jose Rafael Valverde. Jim Leyland, please, for the love of all things good, do the right thing- Bench Valverde. Drop Valverde from the postseason roster. Forget that Valverde exists. Profit.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
The Good Samaritan TM
Let's just come right out and say it- I'm cynical. Sure, I have moments of hope and moments of naivety, but there is also a part of me that simply refuses to believe the best in people or situations.
This morning, I was watching the Today Show (I'm actually a little bit embarrassed about this...perhaps even more so than the time where I admitted I watched Gossip Girl) and Matt Lauer and generic female co-host started talking about all the negative news and how sometimes we're in need of a reminder that there are some good people on the Earth. Of course, these people spent the summer hosting concerts by Justin Beiber and his ilk, so maybe they aren't the best judges of how desperate the human condition really is. But whatever- we'll humor them. Humanity is screwed up and hopeless and is anyone good and blah blah blah.
Enter Leo Guarente (complete with video camera).
I won't get into the story too much- you can read about it here or here. Suffice it to say that he found about $114,000 in savings bonds in a hope chest that some lady threw out and rather than keep them (which he was in his legal right to do), he returned them to her.
How special. What a good Samaritan. Humanity=inherently awesome.
Of course, they sort of glossed over the fact that this Leo guy is angling for his own reality show in the same vein as 'American Pickers' (people that make lots of money picking through trash) and has apparently been hauling around a camera and filming his crew in action in order to piece together a pilot called 'Trash to Cash'. Or something. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see where I might be going with this.
I mean, I don't want to completely discount what he did. I know for myself, if I found $114,000 that I had legal claim to, there's not very many things on Earth that could convince me to not cash it right the heck in. Unless someone offered me $115,000 for it. So kudos.
But why film it? Why have the cameras there? I mean, isn't the inherent goodness (or evilness) of humanity most accurately measured by what we do/don't do when no one is watching? Anyone can be good when there's something in it for them.
Look, this guy did a great thing- with the cameras rolling. I don't want to put words into his mouth/brain...but come on. This dude is obviously a businessman. He owns a junk depot. He is trying to get reality show started. Smart man. So it's not out of the question that he would look at opportunity cost of this $114,000. And in my opinion, he made the right career move by giving back the money. He has tons of publicity because of this. An appearance on the Today Show. Tons of Internet buzz. Wouldn't be surprised if his show gets a look because of this. That's got to be worth at least $114,000, right? If not more, I'm thinking. So he gets to look like a hero while he's laughing all the way to the bank.
Humanity=doomed.
Mr. Guarente (if that is your real name wink wink) did a good deed. I'm not denying that fact. I'm just not willing to make him the poster child for philanthropy.
This morning, I was watching the Today Show (I'm actually a little bit embarrassed about this...perhaps even more so than the time where I admitted I watched Gossip Girl) and Matt Lauer and generic female co-host started talking about all the negative news and how sometimes we're in need of a reminder that there are some good people on the Earth. Of course, these people spent the summer hosting concerts by Justin Beiber and his ilk, so maybe they aren't the best judges of how desperate the human condition really is. But whatever- we'll humor them. Humanity is screwed up and hopeless and is anyone good and blah blah blah.
Enter Leo Guarente (complete with video camera).
I won't get into the story too much- you can read about it here or here. Suffice it to say that he found about $114,000 in savings bonds in a hope chest that some lady threw out and rather than keep them (which he was in his legal right to do), he returned them to her.
How special. What a good Samaritan. Humanity=inherently awesome.
Of course, they sort of glossed over the fact that this Leo guy is angling for his own reality show in the same vein as 'American Pickers' (people that make lots of money picking through trash) and has apparently been hauling around a camera and filming his crew in action in order to piece together a pilot called 'Trash to Cash'. Or something. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see where I might be going with this.
I mean, I don't want to completely discount what he did. I know for myself, if I found $114,000 that I had legal claim to, there's not very many things on Earth that could convince me to not cash it right the heck in. Unless someone offered me $115,000 for it. So kudos.
But why film it? Why have the cameras there? I mean, isn't the inherent goodness (or evilness) of humanity most accurately measured by what we do/don't do when no one is watching? Anyone can be good when there's something in it for them.
Look, this guy did a great thing- with the cameras rolling. I don't want to put words into his mouth/brain...but come on. This dude is obviously a businessman. He owns a junk depot. He is trying to get reality show started. Smart man. So it's not out of the question that he would look at opportunity cost of this $114,000. And in my opinion, he made the right career move by giving back the money. He has tons of publicity because of this. An appearance on the Today Show. Tons of Internet buzz. Wouldn't be surprised if his show gets a look because of this. That's got to be worth at least $114,000, right? If not more, I'm thinking. So he gets to look like a hero while he's laughing all the way to the bank.
Humanity=doomed.
Mr. Guarente (if that is your real name wink wink) did a good deed. I'm not denying that fact. I'm just not willing to make him the poster child for philanthropy.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Being a parent is hard
No sugar-coating here, I'm just going to come out and say it: parenting is hard. Freaking hard.
This is nothing new, in my life or yours. It's something that all of us parents have experienced- those moments when only the deep, deep love we have for our children gets us through (and sometimes even with that it's only barely). Tonight is one of those nights.
Brief (hopefully) backstory- we've been living out in Skandia with my in-laws since May. Truly, we're beyond thankful for their generosity and compassion, because without it I don't even want to think about what life would be like. They've certainly helped us find some stability in the midst of another one of our transitions.
But we also underestimated the strain of living roughly 500% farther from town than we were before. Adding about an hour of travel time onto each day on top of an extra 30-45 minutes of "get around" time in the mornings, and now having two children in elementary school to pack lunches for and check back-packs and....I know, I know. A lot of these are first world problems, and in the grand scheme I don't have anything to complain about yadayadaya.
That doesn't mean life isn't hard though. Tonight, life was hard.
More backstory- Sara was able to get a part-time job before the school year at the local WNMU station. Obviously a blessing, not going to dog it. It did, however, take away some of our flexibility, especially in the mornings (Sara has to be to work 30 minutes before I do) and on Monday nights, when she has her vocal ensemble (it's like, 1 credit, she needs it for the music program) and can't come home in between because we live in Skandia. If having an outstanding family support network is reason #1 we've been able to make it, flexibility is #1a. Another adjustment, another stressor.
So I've pretty much been running the show on Mondays- working a full day, coming home, getting the kids dinner, making sure their lunches get packed and get showered and dishes get done...basically I don't get much time to sit down and chill (obviously I have enough time to do this blog but I'm pretty much writing this on adrenaline so it's not really "chilling"). Again, I don't mean to complain- for some people this is the norm. It's just been a difficult adjustment for us- me especially, in this particular instance.
All of these things added together make Mondays very stressful and hectic on the best of days. Today was not the best of days.
Without getting into specifics, I'm just going to say that Delaney flipped out at Shane and I (for reasons still unknown), Shane had two pee accidents, including one right before bedtime, and...well, it's nights like tonight where I go into the living room, throw myself on the couch, and start sobbing because I just don't know if I'm going to be able to do it.
I don't have a tidy conclusion. Just the knowledge that I'll pick up the pieces, and do it all over again tomorrow. Thanks for reading, and I hope that you find whatever you need to make it through your hard times.
This is nothing new, in my life or yours. It's something that all of us parents have experienced- those moments when only the deep, deep love we have for our children gets us through (and sometimes even with that it's only barely). Tonight is one of those nights.
Brief (hopefully) backstory- we've been living out in Skandia with my in-laws since May. Truly, we're beyond thankful for their generosity and compassion, because without it I don't even want to think about what life would be like. They've certainly helped us find some stability in the midst of another one of our transitions.
But we also underestimated the strain of living roughly 500% farther from town than we were before. Adding about an hour of travel time onto each day on top of an extra 30-45 minutes of "get around" time in the mornings, and now having two children in elementary school to pack lunches for and check back-packs and....I know, I know. A lot of these are first world problems, and in the grand scheme I don't have anything to complain about yadayadaya.
That doesn't mean life isn't hard though. Tonight, life was hard.
More backstory- Sara was able to get a part-time job before the school year at the local WNMU station. Obviously a blessing, not going to dog it. It did, however, take away some of our flexibility, especially in the mornings (Sara has to be to work 30 minutes before I do) and on Monday nights, when she has her vocal ensemble (it's like, 1 credit, she needs it for the music program) and can't come home in between because we live in Skandia. If having an outstanding family support network is reason #1 we've been able to make it, flexibility is #1a. Another adjustment, another stressor.
So I've pretty much been running the show on Mondays- working a full day, coming home, getting the kids dinner, making sure their lunches get packed and get showered and dishes get done...basically I don't get much time to sit down and chill (obviously I have enough time to do this blog but I'm pretty much writing this on adrenaline so it's not really "chilling"). Again, I don't mean to complain- for some people this is the norm. It's just been a difficult adjustment for us- me especially, in this particular instance.
All of these things added together make Mondays very stressful and hectic on the best of days. Today was not the best of days.
Without getting into specifics, I'm just going to say that Delaney flipped out at Shane and I (for reasons still unknown), Shane had two pee accidents, including one right before bedtime, and...well, it's nights like tonight where I go into the living room, throw myself on the couch, and start sobbing because I just don't know if I'm going to be able to do it.
I don't have a tidy conclusion. Just the knowledge that I'll pick up the pieces, and do it all over again tomorrow. Thanks for reading, and I hope that you find whatever you need to make it through your hard times.
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