Happy Thanksgiving! There is so much to be thankful for...
Snow on the ground
My beautiful Children
My beautiful Wife
God's provision
Indoor plumbing...
The list could go on. Just remember to be thankful that Detroit is 75% not-sucky in sports as you watch the Lions trudge on towards their inversely perfect season.
God bless, until next time or sooner
Jason
PS Don't forget to read my post about drums that I did yesterday. Ebert and Roper called it 'good', and the Rolling Stone magazine didn't have anything to say about it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing or a good thing...it just is.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Hymns and hers
Okay, so this is a little off script, but lets go with it, shall we? I was going to do my next post about some thoughts I've been having about God and humanity...and I will do them still. But first, I need to remind myself why I believe in God. Sometimes it's difficult to see Him in the everyday, mundane changing-diapers-doing-dishes-schoolwork-sleep routine that is life. But this story speaks to me of a loving God who is very involved in details.
Tragically, the autopsy revealed that the music would not have died had Don McLean not dragged it on for so long. A steady diet of whiskey and rye by the 'good ol' boys' didn't help matters.
Can't see the line, can you Russ?
The best band you've never heard of. If you have heard of us, I guarantee we're ranked no lower than 234th.
Now, some might read this story, and chalk it up to coincidence. Some might be able to provide psychoanalysis, and others might do some other third thing. But as for me, I think that the real Big Papi has His prints all over this.
This is a story of my musical journey...or a song about my musical journey, if you should so choose...except in song form, it will probably end up being as long as 'American Pie'.
Tragically, the autopsy revealed that the music would not have died had Don McLean not dragged it on for so long. A steady diet of whiskey and rye by the 'good ol' boys' didn't help matters.
Let's start back a little ways...when I was growing up, my dad played many weekends in local establishments, so I've always had some exposure to music. As a kid, I wanted to be a musician as well...I think it's natural for kids to want to be like their parents. In fact, I remember making up a song once, and then hearing that song on the radio later! I think I may have heard the song earlier, and then subconsciously credited myself as the author...or else this band sent people to spy on me and steal my awesome work. Unfortunately, we can never know for sure.
My dad is an amazing musician...one of those guys that can play guitar, bass, drums, harmonica, and free cell (not all at the same time, although that would be amazing also). I felt I could never measure up. I resisted any of his efforts to teach me, and I found myself embarrassed by my fledling efforts to even try. So basically, I just kinda let that die in me. I was in school band, and that was fun, but even then, I never really immersed myself in it. I was content just to get by. After high school, I kissed music goodbye, and set out on my voyage to...
Well, I didn't really have much of a plan. I just knew that it was not going to be a musical one. I guess I can't even say that...music was so far off the radar that it didn't even register as an option to not be an option. A couple years into college, though, I came into awareness of God, and my place within the cosmos. So now it's a clean, blank slate. The summer of 1999 (maybe a little before that, I don't do well with dates-that's what she said OOOOOHHHHHHH) I was placed into a relationship with music. The drummer at our church was leaving in the fall to go to college in Texas, and since we had been in band together in high school, I became the default option.
Now understand, I had never really played on a drum kit before. I had tried, sure, but I had never really done much with it. The most I could really do was play the intro to the song 'Wherever I may roam' by Metallica, and that was by myself with no one around. Needless to say, I struggled mightily in the beginning...I couldn't even keep a beat! I remember getting frustrated at the first practice, because I just couldn't keep up.
I'm not going to lie and say that the next day I woke up endowed with magical powers. I'm not even going to say that I had nothing to do with it. I'm sure that any dilligence (which is not as much as I'd like it to be, ashamedly) has played a role. But you're missing the point if that's what you're thinking about. This is the birth of vision, of passion, of something that I suddenly found enjoyable to do, something that had been previously dead to me.
For the sake of not killing the music or drying up the levy, I'll cut a few years out. Just know that I started to feel like God had music for me in the future. When I married Sara, this vision was solidified. Sara is AMAZING...she has a voice like an angel (with the wings to boot), and can play piano and violin. So we've really felt for a while like God has wanted us to do music.
Ahead another couple years. At Water's Edge church, I was really taken through a series of levels in my journey as a worshipping musician. I'm not going to go through these in depth like I'd wanted to, but I'll summarize them. But do know this, that at the beginning of each school year, for the past two years, I've been placed on a worship team other than what I'd wanted, and in turn I've been blessed with growth beyond my own imaginings. First, I learned that you can worship in musical technical excellence. I learned this from Rob, who teaches music at NMU and is the embodyment of musical knowledge. From Brent, I learned to start to be able to cut loose, and rock out, applying musical dynamics to the tune of the Spirit. I never really got to do that at my old church, we always played more reserved. And that brings us to now.
Charlie, who is an awesome man and one of the leaders at our church, came to our worship practice one night, and basically told us to push ourselves as musicians, to try things we've never tried before, and to not be afraid to fail. Now, what I just wrote is a paraphrase, but I can't even begin to summarize the impact that his words had for me. All my life, I'd been operating under this idea that in order to play for the Lord, that we needed to hold back...I've even been told this at one point. I always felt upset by this...I felt like I wasn't really able to worship, because I had to focus on sounding not fancy or not loud.
Then Charlie comes in, and says basically, 'be awesome for God'...and since then, it's been amazing! I've been trying new things, the worship band I'm in has been doing that as well, and together, we are starting to take our music to new levels. This has been way cool, and it's hard to imagine that at one time, I didn't even want to play drums!
There is an 'also going on' also going on, though. More background- I love rock music, have since high school, and ever since I've started to play drums, I wanted to be in a rock band. Several years ago, I had a couple garage band ventures with buddys that never got out of the garage (although one group was immortalized via Crappy Garage Recording, earning the timeless compliment from my dad 'Not all your songs sound the same').
So I had pretty much given that up, I wasn't even thinking about it at all. Then, lo and behold, earlier this semester I get the opportunity to play Beets songs in the NMU homecoming parade with some dudes from church. We rock, and take first place in our division. One of the most fun experiences of my musical life. Still, an afternoon of fun, and file it away...
Can't see the line, can you Russ?
Late October, the apartment complex I'm in does this little impromptu type music thing, Lincoln Rocks. So Matt, a friend from church and leader of the Beets, asks me to fill in on drums for this thing...again, music is on life support, so I'm cutting this story short. Long story short, I'm in this rock band that's awesome, we're making songs, and we're going to be recording those songs in December!
Now, I'm not saying that we're famous, or even going to be famous. We haven't made it, we've only played one gig. For all I know we might not go anywhere or do anything. But it's a rock band, and I'm playing in it. I'm happy. And this semester, Sara and I were just hoping to survive her return to school. Pursuing music was the furthest thing from our minds. In the midst of it all, God has been stirring our musical gifts and passions. Maybe it's because Sara is in the music program, and all this is subconscious desires and abilities brought to the surface by the change in our lives and routine. Maybe...
But to me, there are just too many variables for this to be coincidental, or subconscious. This is God, and God is moving in us. I'm not sure where He's taking us, but it's gonna be awesome!
So I wouldn't be grassroots if I didn't plug the band in a music blog. This is us, Baby Cannon. You can check us out at: www.myspace.com/babycannonplaid.
The best band you've never heard of. If you have heard of us, I guarantee we're ranked no lower than 234th.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Checkin' inn
Hey fans, readers, haters...
This is just a brief 'checking in' type of thing. For some reason, I have this 'idea' that I'm supposed to be blogging quite often. Maybe it's because I often think, or because of societal expectations forced upon me as a blogger...maybe I'm bored, I don't know.
I do have much to say, for sure. And I will try to delve into the depths of the awesome thoughts that I have next week.
But first I have to get this frickin' book review of 'Medicine and the Market' done. If I ever meet the authors, I am going to kidnap them and make them listen to tapes of me practicing the dictionary. Seriously, this book is dead to me right now.
I'm gonna stop there (because otherwise this will become the typical length of a Jason blog, which kind of defeats the purpose of doing a 'check-in' post). God is good, even though I suck. I love you all, thank you for reading. We'll talk more next week...
Please accept these virtual fake flowers as a token of my apologies for not blessing you with amazing awesomely deep thoughts or competely absurd yet funny lists of stuff.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Top Ten Coolest Presidents Names Ever So Far!
Well, here it is. The moment that I've been waiting for you to be waiting for. I should be working on homework right now, but let's all speak honestly with each other and just admit that homework sucks. Ranking presidents by coolness of names, while frivilous and meaningless, is WAY more fun. As such, here we go:
Look at the bright side, Tanya- you went from being a terrible figure skater who nobody knew to a terrible person that was famous!
'Guys, I'm not so sure this is such a good idea...'
The Top Ten
10)Richard Milhous Nixon - 'He's a Mil-hous'...sing it to the Commodore's 'Brick House'- Guaranteed you won't be able to a)shake that song for the rest of the night b)not substitute Milhous in for brick house. Yeah, it's THAT catchy.
9)Franklin D. Roosevelt- Dynasy. Dominant. Delano. Nobody really knows what the D stands for, which only adds to the mystery of the enduring president. I mean, this guy was president for 12 freakin' years! That's amazing! The uncertainty surrounding his middle initial was enough for him to even overcome a sucky first name, which is no small feat.
8)Warren Gamaliel Harding- Became slightly famous for hiring a newspaper lad to whack Thomas R. Kerrigan across the knee. Also, Gamaliel is very close to Gallileo and Gamma...in fact, it is as though Gallileo and Gamma were forcibly merged into one in a freak reactor malfunction of some type.
Look at the bright side, Tanya- you went from being a terrible figure skater who nobody knew to a terrible person that was famous!
7)Barack Obama- The only problem I have with Barack Obama is that if you play one of those 'How many words can you spell from Such and Such a word' games with 'Barack Obama is not Osama Bin Laden', one of the names you can spell is Osama Bin Laden, and that is just way too close of a tie for me. Liberals will be quick to point out that you can do the same with 'George Bush bends over to wade in the mucky lake a'. All I can say is that they have a good point.
6)Ulysses Simpson Grant- Grant was a rock star war general turned president. While he sucked as a president (at least according to wikipedia-actually, I just made that up, I didn't check wikipedia, but it's funny to cite wikipedia as a 'source'), he makes for interesting fodder in the six degrees game- Simpson, Homer, Iliad, Ulysses...Okay, so the four degrees game, but still he rocks it out.
'Guys, I'm not so sure this is such a good idea...'
5)Martin Van Buren- There is one thing that I have learned growing up- never mess with people that have 'Van' or 'Von' as a middle name (or an appendage of the last name, either way it's dangerous). Jean-Claude Van Damme, Van Halen, Vincent Van Gogh, Victor Von Doom, Ludwig Van Beethoven, Dick Van Dyke, Rip Van Winkle, Vin Diesel, ____ Van Morrison...those people all walk around sweating drops of awesome and cannot be killed by ordinary means.
4)James Knox Polk- I can just imagine the cabinet meetings, some smart mouth intern...poke- poke- poke (giggle giggle)
3)Abraham Lincoln- The only president to be named after a a county, city, a car, my street, a toy, an electric company, a nonsecretarian university, a yet-to-be released Stephen Spielberg movie, a cathedral, a financial firm, and finally, a patriarch. This guy knew how to party!
2)John Fitzgerald Kennedy- Besides being the most handsome president (although Obama does have the firepower to compete with the big dogs here, we haven't had a very good group of handsome commanders-in-chief), Kennedy cemented his name as the #2 coolest with just three letters- JFK. I mean, WHOA! That's liquid sweetness, right there- to be known world-wide, not by your first or last names, or even a nickname, but by three letters...Unfortunately JFK was just not able to get over the hump and take over the top spot.
So with that, the number one, coolest named president is.....
Drum roll...
1) Dave- Ahh, some of you must not know your American history very well. Dave was president in 1993- well, BILL was president in 1993, until he had a stroke, and Dave (the look-alike) had to take over. Something very similar happened in Vantage Point, except they sent the look-alike in first, and the look-alike got gunned down by an automated sniper rifle. Otherwise, they're very similar plot lines and true storyness.
So you may say, this was a 'movie', and therefore not 'real'. Well, friends, given the proven track record that Hollywood has with being honest, and never lying/stretching details, I would ask that you merely check your selfish and vain ambition at the door, and humbly ask for Dave's apology. For Dave is very real- otherwise, would they have made such a movie? I don't think so.
What JFK is to letters, Dave is to monosyllabic names. Listen to it roll of your tongue...D A V E
It is powerful yet tender, brave yet afraid, hot yet cold, milk and water, cats and dogs. Dave bridges gaps, reconciles, gives hope, ends wars, gives you what you want for Christmas. There is no name on this list that can compete with Dave. Those that would try will only end up being crushed by the ruthless awesomeness that IS Dave.
Well, there you have it. As usual, not all of you will agree with my list, and as usual, you are wrong. I hope you've enjoyed reading...Next time I might talk about something deep...or else I will rank my favorite Ben and Jerry's flavors (I just love to rank things, by the way). Thanks for reading, toodles!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Let's ask the important questions- Which president has the coolest name?
Well, election season is over (Thank God). Congratulations to Barack Obama, Better-luck-next times to Sarah Palin and my 3rd Party candidates. This whole election was a real eye-opener for me. Like, I really started thinking on some deep, deep issues. The economy, the environment, world relations- but the most deepest of all was which president has the coolest name.Obviously Barack Obama has the most different name of all the presidents. But is it the coolest? That is what I will be scientifically discerning in this post.
Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall- or I will zap you with lightning from my ninja hands. Also, I'd like a number 6 with coke.
Lyndon Baines Johnson- Lyndon is a girls name. Next.
A certain Texas Ranger named...oh, I don't know...WALKER...
It's a sweater!
The Boring- These names are a dime a dozen. Yawn. Next please, comments here will be kept to a minimum, so as to not attract any more attention then humanly necessary. Seriously, I don't want you to fall asleep before you get to the good stuff.
John Adams
John Quincy Adams- Throwing an extraneous 'Quincy' in there doesn't hide that fact that we've already seen this name before.
Thomas Jefferson
John Quincy Adams- Throwing an extraneous 'Quincy' in there doesn't hide that fact that we've already seen this name before.
Thomas Jefferson
James Monroe
James Madison
James Buchanan
Harry S Truman
Andrew Jackson
Andrew Johnson
Benjamin Harrison
William McKinley
William Howard Taft
William McKinley
William Howard Taft
William Jefferson Clinton
George Washington- George, I cannot tell a lie. You set the tone for centuries of boring names. You might be on the quarter (my favorite piece of money, by the way), but that does not change the fact that I use your name to fall asleep at night. Okay, so I did just tell a lie. But you chopped down your dad's cherry tree. Don't judge me.
The Sucky- These names might be a breath of fresh air on this list if they didn't conjur up images of pocket protecters, Star Trek fans, and high-water pants.
Ronald Wilson Reagan- Maybe if he was Ronald Raiden, he could have overcome sharing a name with a clown. But he's not. So he didn't.
Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall- or I will zap you with lightning from my ninja hands. Also, I'd like a number 6 with coke.
Herbert Clark Hoover- It's fitting that Hoover is also a vacuum cleaner line, because the name Herbert just sucks.
Chester Alan Arthur- It is pretty bad when you have three names and they are all lame.
Woodrow Wilson- Woodrow? Woodrow? Why not, 'Treerow'? Or, 'Forestrow'? Or, 'Hedgerow'? Even 'Deathrow'. Any of these would have been better than Woodrow.
Calvin Coolidge
Calvin Coolidge
Theodore Roosevelt- Sure, you can call him 'Teddy' like you know him, but the fact remains that his mother cursed him to eternal dorkness by naming him 'Theodore'.
Hi, my name is Theodore...more like TheoDORK!
Franklin Pierce- Ah, Franklin. It's as if the names Frank and Lynn got married, and then spent the rest of their lives being annoying.
Dwight David Eisenhower- Dwight loses points for having a nickname (Ike) that has nothing to do with his real name. 2 things here- 1) If your name is only 1 syllable, you should not have a nickname. "Hi my name is Dwight, but you can call me Ike for short". Doesn't work. 2) There needs to be some relationship between your real name and your nickname. Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, those work fine. There is no 'Ike' in 'Dwight'. Really, come on now!Lyndon Baines Johnson- Lyndon is a girls name. Next.
The Potential- These guys were THIS close to making it to the top ten, before tripping at the finish line- or the Finnish line, whichever came first.
James Abram Garfield- As much as I love a big, fat, orange lasagna-loving cat, I can't move ol' Jimbo into the top 10 because 'James' is the absolute most common president name. Now if his name would have been 'Jon'...well, that would have been amazing.
George Herbert Walker Bush- 4 names might seem to be a bit excessive, and 2 of those names (George/Herbert) are boring/sucky. So what gives Bush #1 the edge here? Look for yourself:
A certain Texas Ranger named...oh, I don't know...WALKER...Chuck Norris fact: In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
George W. Bush- George. Seen it. Bush. Been there. So what gives? Well, I'll tell ya- it's the W. W as a middle nomiker is a powerful, powerful thing. It makes ordinary men great, and great men more great. Think about this- Michael W. Smith, John W. Booth, Walt W. Disney, Michael W. Jordan, Wayne W. Gretzky, Joe W. Montana, WMD...the list goes on and on.
The next four are combined, like the powers of Captain Planet (I don't count 'heart' as a power...that's almost as lame as Captain Planets mullet).
William Henry Harrison
John Tyler
John Tyler
Zachary Taylor
Millard Fillmore- You might be thinking, 'William? John? MILLARD? What is going on here? Or you might be thinking, 'I'm bored. I wonder if Alf is on...' Well, either way, let me explain- these four were chosen because of the dynasty that they represent- the Whig dynasty. From 1841 to 1853, the Whig party was a political powerhouse, winning 3 out of 4 elections (Harrison died in office). Then, just as mysteriously as it appeared, the Whig party disappeared, like dandelion seeds into the wind. It is currently residing in Mexico, and is known as 'El guapo'.
Millard Fillmore- You might be thinking, 'William? John? MILLARD? What is going on here? Or you might be thinking, 'I'm bored. I wonder if Alf is on...' Well, either way, let me explain- these four were chosen because of the dynasty that they represent- the Whig dynasty. From 1841 to 1853, the Whig party was a political powerhouse, winning 3 out of 4 elections (Harrison died in office). Then, just as mysteriously as it appeared, the Whig party disappeared, like dandelion seeds into the wind. It is currently residing in Mexico, and is known as 'El guapo'.
It's a sweater!
Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr - Despite having a stupid first name, and sharing a middle name with a reindeer, Ford makes the list for one reason- he played football at U of M. Hail to the victors, baby!
James Earl Carter- This is the classic case of abusing a nickname. Jimmy would have earned higher points if he would have just stuck to James, and changed his last name to 'Jones'. Also , if he could speak in a beautiful bass voice and be Darth Vader.
Grover Cleveland- This guys was so FREAKING close to making it to the top ten- Grover is an amazing name, and in fact might be the most amazing first name in all of presidenthood. But I cannot in good consciousness give my blessing to anyone who associates with Cleveland and their vile existance.
Rutherford Birchard Hayes- Let this one sink in a little. Birchard. Birchard. Birchard. While Ruthorford held him out of the top ten like a millstone around your neck in a swimming pool, Birchard is the name that keeps on giving and giving. Birchard. Birchard. Birchard.
Wow, I'm going hog wild on this one! It's been tons of fun, fo' shizzle! Tune in next time, as I unveil THE TOP TEN COOLEST PRESIDENTS NAMES OF ALL TIME UP UNTIL NOW!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Congrats Obama...NOW GET TO WORK!
Well, since everyone and their brother is probably weighing in on the presidential election, I must follow the lemmings in order to maintain cultural relevence.
First of all, congratulations are in order for Barack Obama. I was surprised that he beat out Hillary Clinton, who has basically been the Democrats 'quarterback of the future' ever since ol' Bill left office. His is a historic victory, the first guy with a Muslim sounding name to be elected president (note-I'm not getting into this whole 'Obama is a secret Muslim thing- I'm just pointing out his name isn't Jim or George or something like that). He is also the first African American to be elected to the presidency. Congrats Obama.
Of course, now the onus is on him. He has a chance to do great things for this country. Or he can be the answer to a trivia question. Democrats control the triple crown- senate, house, president. So there is this understanding that he now has to put up. His whole campaign was around 'change', and while I've said before that I don't doubt that our country needs change, it'll be interesting to see what happens. Barack Obama is going to be trying to implement lots of changes while cutting taxes...eventually the math isn't going to add up. Either he will have to keep taxes the same/raise taxes, or else he will not be able to accomplish everything he promised.
I would just say two things- first of all, I think a certain degree of patience should be afforded to him. After all, our entire world (not just the USA for all the Bush-haters) is in a mess. It would be ignorant for anybody to think that Barack Obama can just come in guns blazing and fix everything. Give him some time/patience.
On the other side, he needs to show something. He needs to produce results. Barack Obama, in my opinion, rode into the white house on the coat tails of the national disapproval of George W. Bush. So he needs to show that he can do better than what he put down. Logistics shouldn't be a problem- as I said, Dems got the trifecta. But the QUALITY of those policies is what is going to matter.
I would really like to see Obama move on from this whole 'Bush bash' mentality. You used it to your advantage, you won the white house- now it's YOUR job. Don't blame bush for what is sure to be a rough period of on-the-job training. You wanted to be a trailblazer, you wanted to make change- well guess what- it's not easy. Barack Obama can take a page from Hank Aaron, who handled the home run record chase with class, grace, and dignity. While there is a lot of difference obviously between baseball and the presidency, there are still similar principles that can be applied here.
Again, congratulations to Barack Obama. I'll be praying for wisdom for you, because you will need it.
First of all, congratulations are in order for Barack Obama. I was surprised that he beat out Hillary Clinton, who has basically been the Democrats 'quarterback of the future' ever since ol' Bill left office. His is a historic victory, the first guy with a Muslim sounding name to be elected president (note-I'm not getting into this whole 'Obama is a secret Muslim thing- I'm just pointing out his name isn't Jim or George or something like that). He is also the first African American to be elected to the presidency. Congrats Obama.
Of course, now the onus is on him. He has a chance to do great things for this country. Or he can be the answer to a trivia question. Democrats control the triple crown- senate, house, president. So there is this understanding that he now has to put up. His whole campaign was around 'change', and while I've said before that I don't doubt that our country needs change, it'll be interesting to see what happens. Barack Obama is going to be trying to implement lots of changes while cutting taxes...eventually the math isn't going to add up. Either he will have to keep taxes the same/raise taxes, or else he will not be able to accomplish everything he promised.
I would just say two things- first of all, I think a certain degree of patience should be afforded to him. After all, our entire world (not just the USA for all the Bush-haters) is in a mess. It would be ignorant for anybody to think that Barack Obama can just come in guns blazing and fix everything. Give him some time/patience.
On the other side, he needs to show something. He needs to produce results. Barack Obama, in my opinion, rode into the white house on the coat tails of the national disapproval of George W. Bush. So he needs to show that he can do better than what he put down. Logistics shouldn't be a problem- as I said, Dems got the trifecta. But the QUALITY of those policies is what is going to matter.
I would really like to see Obama move on from this whole 'Bush bash' mentality. You used it to your advantage, you won the white house- now it's YOUR job. Don't blame bush for what is sure to be a rough period of on-the-job training. You wanted to be a trailblazer, you wanted to make change- well guess what- it's not easy. Barack Obama can take a page from Hank Aaron, who handled the home run record chase with class, grace, and dignity. While there is a lot of difference obviously between baseball and the presidency, there are still similar principles that can be applied here.
Again, congratulations to Barack Obama. I'll be praying for wisdom for you, because you will need it.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Hammer of Thor, Chariot of Goats
Go forth...um...mighty...goats?
Okay, so I play this table top miniatures game called 'Heroclix'. It's a superhero game, and I'm a big dork. So anyways, it's been around for about 6 years, and I played it when it first came out. I gave it up at one point because it had become too big a part of my life, and I was spending way too much money on it.
Fast forward to 2008. We're visiting my parents, my brother has me play a game of Heroclix with him, and I whup him. Bad. Well, maybe not a 'bad' whupping, but I beat him. So I get the itch to play again. And I figure, 'I'm older, I'm more mature. This spending thing won't get me again'.
Honestly, I am doing better than before, but I'm still the same old impulsive, wreckless, possession-lusting Jason. I don't even want to know how much money I've spent on this stupid game that I DON'T EVEN GET TO PLAY! I mean, have you ever tried having young kids and a tabletop game with miniature pieces? It doesn't work!
So what is the point of this post, you might ask. You might also ask for my phone number, and if you are a creditor, I am inclined to say 'no thank you'. Well, the point is I am FREAKIN' EXCITED about the next expansion set, Hammer of Thor. Yes, I realize that up until now, this post did not show any signs of that, but you know what? YOU CAN'T FIT ME IN A BOX! OR A CAKE! OR A MINI COOPER!
When I first got back into Heroclix, I was a 'DC' guy- DC being DC comics. I like Batman, I like Superman, I love the Green Lantern Corps, and more of the DC universe is a mystery to me. I mean, Marvel is cool (Spider-man, Iron Man, Hulk, X-Men, etc.), but I like the unknown, the unexplored, and DC has more of that to me. Maybe it's because they're comics suck, I don't know. As I've said, I'm not much of a comics reader. But I'm a DC guy.
Last summer, Marvel Heroclix comes out with an expansion called 'Secret Invasion', tied into the same-named comic miniseries in which an alien race (Skrulls) have infiltrated the hero teams, and are planning to take over the world- and no one knows who the Skrulls are (since they are shapeshifters). So the 'Buy it by the Brick' figure (10 boosters is a 'brick') was the Illuminati Super Skrull, who has the powers of Professor Xavier, Iron Man, Black Bolt, Namor, and Mr. Fantastic. Well, this intrigues me, so I buy the comics. I get hooked, 'blam!', order a brick, and to make a long story short, the pendulum swings back a little bit towards Marvel. It doesn't help DC that their own latest expansion set, 'Arkham Asylum', has NO Green Lanterns (although there are a handful of Sinestro Corps members) and a brick figure (Joker) that didn't really excite me.
Marvel? Their next brick figure, for Hammer of Thor (March 2009) is the above pictured Thor, rocking the Goat-drawn carriage. OMG, I am SO out of my mind looking forward to this set. I don't even know all the characters, but I'm ordering a case (a case is 2 bricks, so 20 boosters) so I can get 2 of those things.
So again, what is the point of this post/blog entry? It might seem to be a tad incoherent, rambly, and not well put together. Kind of like me in some aspects. I just wanted to let you all know that I am really excited about this figure, and I can't wait until March of next year!
3rd Party Candidates in a nutshell...or at a glance, if you have a peanut allergy
A couple weeks ago, I posted on 3rd Party candidates as agents of change. I must have sparked some sort of revolution, judging by the hundreds of e-mails I've received from loyal readers, asking where exactly these candidates stand on the important issues.
I really miss cheesy ads and alien invasion...
Okay, so those e-mails were sent to me by myself, from made up fake e-mail addresses. Don't try to confuse me with 'details' or 'facts'. I'm thinking about adopting relativism as my new manta.* Seriously though, relativism doesn't make sense to me. I mean, sure, I can see why people would WANT to adhere to it- basically zero accountability deification. But when you say 'there is NO such thing as absolute truth', isn't that making an absolute statement, thus nullifying itself? It sure sounds better than 'there may or may not be absolute truth'. Or 'aliens are invading, would you please pass the turkey?'.
So back to the purpose of the post. I'm going to weigh in on some issues of the 3rd Party candidates that are on the ballot in Michigan. According to CNN.com, the top 3 issues for voters are the economy, healthcare, and terrorism. Since this is my blog, we'll go by my top 3 are economy, foreign policy, environment
First off, we have Cynthia McKinney of the Green party. Hers was the most difficult website to navigate in terms of finding issues. I had to glean a lot of this stuff from the Green Party Platform/Manifesto. I also found out that the Green Party supports the legalization of marijuana. And Rosanne Barr supports the Green Party.
Economy-
Cynthia McKinney would close tax loopholes and repeal the Bush tax cuts for the top 1% of income earners. She would fairly tax corporations and deny federal subsidies to those who relocate jobs.McKinney would fight for an the opportunity for every family to have gainful employment at a ‘living wage. She would also set a goal of carbon neutrality within the next 20 years, which would benefit our country both in more jobs and a better environment. She would seek a repeal of trade laws such as NAFTA and CAFTA, and labor laws like Taft-Hartley. McKinney would advocate for equal pay for equal work.
Environment-
It’s the green party, duh? Anti-carbon, pro-renewable resources. And legal hemp. Don't forget legal hemp.
Foreign policy-
Basically, the Green Party platform says, 'We want military recruiters out of our schools, an end to funding for war, products for war, preparation for war, intelligence for war and funds used to to maintain or expand U.S. military presence at home or abroad. We need an end to all wars and occupations by U.S. forces'.
Next up, we have one of the Baldwin brothers, Chuck Baldwin, of the Constitution party. Well, I'm not sure if he's REALLY one of the Baldwin brothers, although he could be. Baldwin could be his maiden name too, for all I know.
Energy-
Chuck had nothing to say about energy, which leads me to believe that he lives in a log cabin in the mountains. Why did I come to that conclusion? It's simple, really. I found the answer on http://www.chuckbaldwinlivesinalogcabininthemountains.com/
If the above were an actual website, than this picture would have come from that website. Just imagine that Chuck and the constituents of the Constitution party are marching on your house to beat you up because you didn't vote for him.
Economy-
In order to keep jobs in this country, Chuck Baldwin favor a tariff based revenue system, A tariff on foreign imports, based on the difference between the foreign item's cost of production abroad and the cost of production of a similar item produced in the United States, to protect American jobs and, at the same time, raise revenue for our national government.
Foreign policy-
Chuck is a very pro-military man, but in an UnderArmor sort of way. You know, 'WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE', not 'click clack'. Chuck would begin the process of safely extracting our troops from Iraq. and stop playing policeman of the world. Baldwin believes that the primary obligation of the federal government to provide for the common defense of the United States of America. Chuck still supports a very strong military, although not for the purposes of invasion, but of protection of America.
Hello, Bob Barr of the Libertarian party. Imagine if our president was a bar. Now name that bar, 'Bob'. That's the kind of excitement America needs!
Energy -
Bob Barr feels 'the free market should be the foundation of America’s energy policy. The federal government should eliminate restrictions that inhibit energy production, as well as all special privileges for the production of politically-favored fuels, such as ethanol. Congress should allow the exploration and production of America’s abundant domestic resources, including oil in the Outer Continental Shelf and Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and alternative sources such as shale oil'.
Economy-
Bob thinks govt. needs to spend less, and stick to fundamental economical areas of govt. in the constitution, which are protect property rights, adjudicate disputes, and provide a legal framework in which voluntary trade is protected. He thinks that doing this will allow American’s to keep more of their own money. 'Every area of federal spending can and should be cut. Entitlements must be reformed and welfare should be cut, including called corporate welfare. Military outlays should be reduced and pork barrel spending eliminated'.
Foreign policy
Bob thinks that America should not be the world’s policeman. 'Our military should provide a strong national defense, not to engage in nation building or to launch foreign crusades. Bringing the soldiers home would better protect America while saving lives and money. American foreign policy should emphasize swift, decisive and winning action against those who vowed would harm us. This means defense, not foreign intervention. We should encourage private involvement around the world primarily through free trade'.
Notice I just flat out quoted Bob several times, instead of paraphrasing. I couldn't do his words justice. Plus, I'm sick of typing.
We've all heard of Ralph Nader, THE Independent candidate. He has the most in-depth website, and lots of similarities to Green party ideology (he ran as a Green Party candidate in '96 and '00, according to Wikipedia). Not sure where he stands on the marijuana issue, or the Rosanne Barr issue. Wait a minute...Rosanne BARR, Bob BARR...hmmmm...this is why I distrust the political process, and think that tyrannical dictatorship might be the way to go.
Economy
Nader believes that equitable trade, improving the infustructure, creating a new renewable energy efficiency policy, fully funding education and redirecting large bureaucratic and fraudulent health expenditures toward preventive health care will create millions of new jobs.
Nader would rework the federal budget to spend more money on things like infrastructure, public works, schools, libraries, sustainable energy and pollution controls, and less money on the military. Some ways he would cut military spending would be reduce strategic nuclear arsenal to 1,000 warheads, close unnecessary military bases, overhaul the Pentagon's financial management operations, and reinvest in diplomacy. Other policies include Progressive Taxation, Equal Pay for Women, Child-Care, Living Wages for All Workers, Restore the Social Safety Net
Foreign policy- Nader had nothing to say about Russia, which leads me to believe that he does not like hockey. Maybe he should run for office in Canada- obviously they don't like hockey, since all of their teams end up moving here anyways.
Nader would reverse the current policy in the Middle East. Nader proposes a rapid withdrawal of troops from Iraq- a target of withdrawing troops in six months.
Energy-
Ralphie urges a new clean energy policy that no longer subsidizes entrenched oil, nuclear, electric and coal mining interests — an energy policy that is efficient, sustainable and environmentally friendly. 'We need to invest in a diversified energy policy including renewable energy like wind and other forms of solar power, more efficient automobiles, homes and businesses one that breaks our addiction to fossil fuels. A new clean energy paradigm means more jobs, more efficiency, greater security, environmental protection and increased health'.
Here are the candidates websites:
McKinney- http://votetruth08.com/
Baldwin- http://www.baldwin08.com/
Barr- http://www.bobbarr2008.com/
Nader- http://www.votenader.org/
All quotes were taken directly from the candidates websites, unless I got them from somewhere else.
Thank you for bearing with me. Whoever you vote for, know why you are voting for them.
*Some of you might have said, 'he means mantra'. You were wrong.
I really miss cheesy ads and alien invasion...
Okay, so those e-mails were sent to me by myself, from made up fake e-mail addresses. Don't try to confuse me with 'details' or 'facts'. I'm thinking about adopting relativism as my new manta.* Seriously though, relativism doesn't make sense to me. I mean, sure, I can see why people would WANT to adhere to it- basically zero accountability deification. But when you say 'there is NO such thing as absolute truth', isn't that making an absolute statement, thus nullifying itself? It sure sounds better than 'there may or may not be absolute truth'. Or 'aliens are invading, would you please pass the turkey?'.
So back to the purpose of the post. I'm going to weigh in on some issues of the 3rd Party candidates that are on the ballot in Michigan. According to CNN.com, the top 3 issues for voters are the economy, healthcare, and terrorism. Since this is my blog, we'll go by my top 3 are economy, foreign policy, environment
First off, we have Cynthia McKinney of the Green party. Hers was the most difficult website to navigate in terms of finding issues. I had to glean a lot of this stuff from the Green Party Platform/Manifesto. I also found out that the Green Party supports the legalization of marijuana. And Rosanne Barr supports the Green Party.
Economy-
Cynthia McKinney would close tax loopholes and repeal the Bush tax cuts for the top 1% of income earners. She would fairly tax corporations and deny federal subsidies to those who relocate jobs.McKinney would fight for an the opportunity for every family to have gainful employment at a ‘living wage. She would also set a goal of carbon neutrality within the next 20 years, which would benefit our country both in more jobs and a better environment. She would seek a repeal of trade laws such as NAFTA and CAFTA, and labor laws like Taft-Hartley. McKinney would advocate for equal pay for equal work.
Environment-
It’s the green party, duh? Anti-carbon, pro-renewable resources. And legal hemp. Don't forget legal hemp.
Foreign policy-
Basically, the Green Party platform says, 'We want military recruiters out of our schools, an end to funding for war, products for war, preparation for war, intelligence for war and funds used to to maintain or expand U.S. military presence at home or abroad. We need an end to all wars and occupations by U.S. forces'.
Next up, we have one of the Baldwin brothers, Chuck Baldwin, of the Constitution party. Well, I'm not sure if he's REALLY one of the Baldwin brothers, although he could be. Baldwin could be his maiden name too, for all I know.
Energy-
Chuck had nothing to say about energy, which leads me to believe that he lives in a log cabin in the mountains. Why did I come to that conclusion? It's simple, really. I found the answer on http://www.chuckbaldwinlivesinalogcabininthemountains.com/
If the above were an actual website, than this picture would have come from that website. Just imagine that Chuck and the constituents of the Constitution party are marching on your house to beat you up because you didn't vote for him.
Economy-
In order to keep jobs in this country, Chuck Baldwin favor a tariff based revenue system, A tariff on foreign imports, based on the difference between the foreign item's cost of production abroad and the cost of production of a similar item produced in the United States, to protect American jobs and, at the same time, raise revenue for our national government.
Foreign policy-
Chuck is a very pro-military man, but in an UnderArmor sort of way. You know, 'WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE', not 'click clack'. Chuck would begin the process of safely extracting our troops from Iraq. and stop playing policeman of the world. Baldwin believes that the primary obligation of the federal government to provide for the common defense of the United States of America. Chuck still supports a very strong military, although not for the purposes of invasion, but of protection of America.
Hello, Bob Barr of the Libertarian party. Imagine if our president was a bar. Now name that bar, 'Bob'. That's the kind of excitement America needs!
Energy -
Bob Barr feels 'the free market should be the foundation of America’s energy policy. The federal government should eliminate restrictions that inhibit energy production, as well as all special privileges for the production of politically-favored fuels, such as ethanol. Congress should allow the exploration and production of America’s abundant domestic resources, including oil in the Outer Continental Shelf and Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and alternative sources such as shale oil'.
Economy-
Bob thinks govt. needs to spend less, and stick to fundamental economical areas of govt. in the constitution, which are protect property rights, adjudicate disputes, and provide a legal framework in which voluntary trade is protected. He thinks that doing this will allow American’s to keep more of their own money. 'Every area of federal spending can and should be cut. Entitlements must be reformed and welfare should be cut, including called corporate welfare. Military outlays should be reduced and pork barrel spending eliminated'.
Foreign policy
Bob thinks that America should not be the world’s policeman. 'Our military should provide a strong national defense, not to engage in nation building or to launch foreign crusades. Bringing the soldiers home would better protect America while saving lives and money. American foreign policy should emphasize swift, decisive and winning action against those who vowed would harm us. This means defense, not foreign intervention. We should encourage private involvement around the world primarily through free trade'.
Notice I just flat out quoted Bob several times, instead of paraphrasing. I couldn't do his words justice. Plus, I'm sick of typing.
We've all heard of Ralph Nader, THE Independent candidate. He has the most in-depth website, and lots of similarities to Green party ideology (he ran as a Green Party candidate in '96 and '00, according to Wikipedia). Not sure where he stands on the marijuana issue, or the Rosanne Barr issue. Wait a minute...Rosanne BARR, Bob BARR...hmmmm...this is why I distrust the political process, and think that tyrannical dictatorship might be the way to go.
Economy
Nader believes that equitable trade, improving the infustructure, creating a new renewable energy efficiency policy, fully funding education and redirecting large bureaucratic and fraudulent health expenditures toward preventive health care will create millions of new jobs.
Nader would rework the federal budget to spend more money on things like infrastructure, public works, schools, libraries, sustainable energy and pollution controls, and less money on the military. Some ways he would cut military spending would be reduce strategic nuclear arsenal to 1,000 warheads, close unnecessary military bases, overhaul the Pentagon's financial management operations, and reinvest in diplomacy. Other policies include Progressive Taxation, Equal Pay for Women, Child-Care, Living Wages for All Workers, Restore the Social Safety Net
Foreign policy- Nader had nothing to say about Russia, which leads me to believe that he does not like hockey. Maybe he should run for office in Canada- obviously they don't like hockey, since all of their teams end up moving here anyways.
Nader would reverse the current policy in the Middle East. Nader proposes a rapid withdrawal of troops from Iraq- a target of withdrawing troops in six months.
Energy-
Ralphie urges a new clean energy policy that no longer subsidizes entrenched oil, nuclear, electric and coal mining interests — an energy policy that is efficient, sustainable and environmentally friendly. 'We need to invest in a diversified energy policy including renewable energy like wind and other forms of solar power, more efficient automobiles, homes and businesses one that breaks our addiction to fossil fuels. A new clean energy paradigm means more jobs, more efficiency, greater security, environmental protection and increased health'.
Here are the candidates websites:
McKinney- http://votetruth08.com/
Baldwin- http://www.baldwin08.com/
Barr- http://www.bobbarr2008.com/
Nader- http://www.votenader.org/
All quotes were taken directly from the candidates websites, unless I got them from somewhere else.
Thank you for bearing with me. Whoever you vote for, know why you are voting for them.
*Some of you might have said, 'he means mantra'. You were wrong.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Busy weekend, busy life.
Hello all,
Well, this is sort of a first in my blogging history- a banner day of sorts. I'm not contemplating deep issues or anything like that, nor am I doing anything 'silly' or 'pop-culturish'. I'm just giving a brief update on how things are going.
My mom, dad, and youngest sister came up for a visit this weekend. It was an awesome time, and as always, it went too fast. We just kinda hung out, played with the kids. My dad got to see me drum at church. We watched a Batman movie. We shopped at Target, and I got a flu vaccination.
I got to watch Sara perform an aria at NMU on Saturday. It was her first time singing in a couple years, and she NAILED it...it was such a moment of pride, knowing that the hot soprano hitting all the notes and warming the souls of the crowd was MY wife...I'm so blessed, fo shizzle!
Right now, I'm blogging, but I'm also working on a small presentation for my Social Welfare Policy class, talking about the issues that are important to me in the upcoming presidential election, and where the 3rd party candidates that are on the ballot in Michigan stand on those issues. I'll try to get something on here early next week, so you have some time to chew on it before the election.
I got my Common/Uncommon/Rare set of Arkham Assylum Heroclix figures. I'm pretty impressed my many of the sculpts. One of them, 'Thinker', looks like he stepped right out of the Matrix...I mean, the actual Matrix, you know, the computer part. It looks very tight! I'm bummed, because I probably won't get to play for the rest of the semester, but it's all good. I'm going to catch up on Christmas break.
This Friday (Halloween), my apartment complex is having a small 'Music festival'. It's not like Ozfest or Cornerstone...it's not even like a Hiawatha or Bliss. It's just some people at NMU sharing their talents/love of music. I am going to play drums with some buddies, and I'm going to play some guitar- like a solo act. I'm a little nervous, but it'll be good to stretch myself. I plan on doing a couple worship songs, some originals, and maybe even a Christmas song or two (yes, it is getting to be that time of year again).
Classes are going okay, I'm not doing as well grade-wise as I'd like- I got a 79 on my Marriage and Family midterm, and I think I probably scored similarly on a recent Social Welfare Policy exam. But this semester has been one of tremendous personal, emotional, and spiritual growth. It's almost like Oprah came to our house and gave a pep-talk. Or Ty Pennington gave us an Extreme Home Makeover. Or Batman came and...well, I'm not really sure what he said, but hey, it got results.
I can't really think of anything else right now. I do have to actually get some work done on my project, and get some reading done. So I'm going to end this milestone event not. Just remember, God is good, He loves you, if you are reading my blog then you are awesome, and stay tuned for more silliness, seriousness, and everything in between. Blessings as you grow with me!
Well, this is sort of a first in my blogging history- a banner day of sorts. I'm not contemplating deep issues or anything like that, nor am I doing anything 'silly' or 'pop-culturish'. I'm just giving a brief update on how things are going.
My mom, dad, and youngest sister came up for a visit this weekend. It was an awesome time, and as always, it went too fast. We just kinda hung out, played with the kids. My dad got to see me drum at church. We watched a Batman movie. We shopped at Target, and I got a flu vaccination.
I got to watch Sara perform an aria at NMU on Saturday. It was her first time singing in a couple years, and she NAILED it...it was such a moment of pride, knowing that the hot soprano hitting all the notes and warming the souls of the crowd was MY wife...I'm so blessed, fo shizzle!
Right now, I'm blogging, but I'm also working on a small presentation for my Social Welfare Policy class, talking about the issues that are important to me in the upcoming presidential election, and where the 3rd party candidates that are on the ballot in Michigan stand on those issues. I'll try to get something on here early next week, so you have some time to chew on it before the election.
I got my Common/Uncommon/Rare set of Arkham Assylum Heroclix figures. I'm pretty impressed my many of the sculpts. One of them, 'Thinker', looks like he stepped right out of the Matrix...I mean, the actual Matrix, you know, the computer part. It looks very tight! I'm bummed, because I probably won't get to play for the rest of the semester, but it's all good. I'm going to catch up on Christmas break.
This Friday (Halloween), my apartment complex is having a small 'Music festival'. It's not like Ozfest or Cornerstone...it's not even like a Hiawatha or Bliss. It's just some people at NMU sharing their talents/love of music. I am going to play drums with some buddies, and I'm going to play some guitar- like a solo act. I'm a little nervous, but it'll be good to stretch myself. I plan on doing a couple worship songs, some originals, and maybe even a Christmas song or two (yes, it is getting to be that time of year again).
Classes are going okay, I'm not doing as well grade-wise as I'd like- I got a 79 on my Marriage and Family midterm, and I think I probably scored similarly on a recent Social Welfare Policy exam. But this semester has been one of tremendous personal, emotional, and spiritual growth. It's almost like Oprah came to our house and gave a pep-talk. Or Ty Pennington gave us an Extreme Home Makeover. Or Batman came and...well, I'm not really sure what he said, but hey, it got results.
I can't really think of anything else right now. I do have to actually get some work done on my project, and get some reading done. So I'm going to end this milestone event not. Just remember, God is good, He loves you, if you are reading my blog then you are awesome, and stay tuned for more silliness, seriousness, and everything in between. Blessings as you grow with me!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Top Ten Superhero Movies
Congratulations on making it this far. It's like making it to the Final Four of Survivor. Or to Bryant Park on Project Runway. Or to the actual Final Four. Either way, the fact that you stuck with me this far shows that you have intestinal fortitude. It also shows that you have actual intestines, because othewise the homeostasis of your body would be completely off kilter, and you might saunter off into a coma, or worse- a como. A como is just like a coma, except worse.
As promised, I present to you (try to hear this being said with a big, booming voice and lots of sparkles) Jasons Top Ten Superhero Movies!
10) Batman forever- Okay, if we're going to be adults here, this was a terrible movie. Batman (a different Batman, to boot) had nipples, Tommy Lee Jones was a silly Two-Face (especially in contrast with Aaron Eckharts sinisterly chilling rendition), and lots of bright neon lights. It made the first two Batman movies seem like they were filmed in black and white. Why is this film in my top ten? One word: Jim Carrey. Much like Tom Brady and a very solid team concept/brilliant salary-cap management/solid defensive schemes singlehandedly willed the Patriots to three Super Bowl titles, Jim Carrey's performance as the Riddler managed to upset the balance of power and make a bad movie into a winner. Or at least, a 'Hey, I'm proud of you guys for overcoming a 21-0 deficit AGAIN and losing only by 7. To the Houston Texans' movie.
9)Dark Knight - Before anybody backs me over with a bus, or threatens to slash my face, or slams my face into a pencil, or straps me to a barrel of gasoline and blows me up, allow me to explain why this top-whatever grossing film is bumping uglies at the bottom with Batman Forever. Well, I can explain. See, I'm not a fan of gore/horror. And while this was no 'Saw' or 'Hostel' or 'Looney Tunes', it was definitely a dark and disturbing movie. I'm sure when I watch it again, I'll like it a lot more. Lots has been said about the amazing job Heath Ledger did as the Joker, but Aaron Eckhart deserves kudos too for a great Two Face. This movie also had one of the top Movie Scenes To Be Satired On You-tube. Go to You-tube, and search for Batman Interrogation Scene. Trust me.
8)Spider-man 2 - While this movie suffers from some of the same crap that Spider-man 1 does (which I am not going to talk about now, read it later and then apply it retroactively to here. Saves me time and makes more work for you), it also has many of the strengths of the first Spider-man (which I will list, because after all, I'm all about positivity. Think of this as my maintaining feng shui of my bloggage). Great casting, great chemistry, great special effects, great villain, great internal toil and struggle. What it has that Spidey 3 doesn't is cohesion and a fluid pace. Oh, and it also has Alfred Molina, who was in one of the most underrated funny movies of all time, The Man Who Knew Too Little
6/7) Tie between Batman Begins and Batman- I couldn't bring myself to seperate these two Batman franchise pilots. While they are two completely different movies, they also both reek of the same awesomeness. Batman B.C. (Before Christian) had Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Bassinger when she had some amount of self respect, and Jack Palance. It was the movie that brought Batman into the darkness...I mean, before, he was going around in the shadows wearing gray and blue? With yellow accents? Are you kidding me? He might as well have announce his presence through a megaphone and wear flashing lights. Tim Burton made Batman one with the night, which forever made Batman cool. While some would debate Nicholson's rendition of the Joker (even I was so moved by Ledger's Joker that I went to the rooftops and told the world I was in love and didn't care who knew it), he did his interpretation well. He was very much funny and maniacal, all at the same time. Classic music, and the best part of all- in Axis chemicals, in the beginning fight scene, the gun shots sound like the gun shots did on 60's television shows. Not like the smooth 'silencer' sounds of today.
Here, I am going to pause briefly to ponder the merits of our multiversal Bruce Waynes. I don't consider Val Kilmer or George Clooney to have actually played the role. I think those were mutations, and history will undoubtedly prove me right. Michael Keaton beats C.Bale in terms of Batmanness. He was cool, collected, and had just enough of a gruff voice to scare you, but not enough to make you say 'I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. You mind, um, saying that one more time?'. Seriously, check out that video on YouTube. Christian Bale, however, pulls off Bruce Wayne much better. Probably because he is, in all honesty, a much sexier man than Michael Keaton. Keaton was in Mr. Mom, for crying out loud! Christian Bale has never been in a role where he stepped beneath his God-given right as a man to not have to cook, clean, or use a vaccum cleaner. Plus, Bale bought a hotel when they told him to leave. Of course, Michael Keaton had a great 30 second stint as the arrogant Bruce Wayne, but Bale spent much of the first movie living it up as a billionaire playboy. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.
What Batman Begins lacks in nostalgia, it makes up by just being a better movie. Well paced, good insight into HOW Batman became the Batman. Cool special effects. Liam Neeson and Cillain Murphy played complex villain roles rather well. This movie showed how flippin' scary Batman would be to the average overworked/underpaid henchman. This movie shows also that perhaps Batman doesn't have actual enemies, just people that can't understand him when he talks. Maybe we aren't seeing conflicts as much as we are witnessing misunderstandings. I mean, I would probably shoot at Batman if he tried to carry on a conversation with me. And I would hopefully hit him in the throat and dislodge whatever it was that was clogging his trachea.
5)Spider-man 1 - Some people probably would have ranked this higher...maybe even #1. Some people also eat onion rings. So I try not to go by the opinions of some people. My wife calls this list 'subjective'. It's not subjective- it's 'obsubjective'- basically combining the best of objectivity and subjectivity. Spider-man will score very highly in terms of casting, for sure. Music, love it. Special effects, great. Story, fantastic. So what gives? Well, here's the deal. Spider-man movies move VERY slowly in terms of action. Now, I know that part of the appeal of Spidey is that he's an 'ordinary guy' (yeah, like we all have been bitten by radioactive spiders and possess above-average intelligence or a combination of the two), so the story is important. But to me, Spidey falls a little bit into the classic 'tweener' category. Like, 'I'm not a drama, but I'm not an action- I'm impressionistic!', or something like that. Here's the deal, and if you're reading this, then you probably know me. I was misdiagnosed as 'normal'. However, I have ADD. I can't back this claim up 'scientifically' or 'medically'. I'm just guessing. But that's neither here nor there. The point is that, if I'm watching Spider-man after having seen it already, my mind is wandering far, far away, because there isn't enough action in it for me. If I wanted a story, I'd learn to read and then I'd read 'Pride and Prejudice' while sitting on the couch in my bathrobe, eating ice cream and crying my eyes out.
4) Iron Man - If there was anyone who was made to play the drunken, arrogant, womanizing Tony Stark, it was Robert Downey Jr. It was like God made Robert Downey Jr. to be a drunken, arrogant womanizer so he could breathe the breathe of life into this movie. Mr. Downey Jr., living the dream. This movie was balls to the wall action, but paced well, AMAZING effects, good dialogue...the only thing that kept it from being ranked higher is the whole 6 minutes of Iron Monger- seriously, can we get some sweet supervillains to get some real screen time?
3) Mystery Men - I'm willing to bet that a few of you might not have heard of this movie. I know I hadn't until I heard about it from some friends. I have to tell the truth- this movie changed my life. I realized, on that day, that I too have a superpower. I, like the Spleen, have the gift of gas. Not the gift of gaB. The gift of gaS. It's like the gift of gab, except you fart from your butt instead of your mouth. But I am getting WAY off topic. Mystery Men is not like the other movies on this list- it is straight comedy, yo. And it's B-movie quality in some respects. But it makes my top three because it is SO funny. I'll tell you who the heroes are and their powers, and then I'm going to compel you to go watch it so you know just how funny it is. Okay, there is: Shoveler- God-given gift to shovel well. Blue Radja- Throws silverware (but not knives, he's not Stab-man). Mr. Furious- Um, he actually has NO powers. Invisible Boy- Can become invisible when no one is looking at him. The Bowler- Throws a bowling ball that has her dead father's skull set into it (it's actually a lot funnier than I'm making it sound). The Spleen- Flatulance. The Sphinx- Terribly mysterious. There are tons of funny quotes, randomness, and one-liners . Seriously, check this movie out. After all, 'what the fork?'.
2)X-Men 1- To me, this movie will forever have a place in my heart as the movie that made comic movies chic. It was the ground breaker. Sure, there were comic movies before X-men, many of them. But they weren't like X-men. See, Batman and Superman transcend comics. They are cultural icons. Everyone knows Batman and Superman, they're the Worlds Finest, man! The X-men were more of a niche in terms of popularity, more associated with comics than with pop culture. X-men changed that, it brought comic books into the broader scope of 'cool'. It showed that comic book panels could be translated to the big screen, and it could look GOOD (other than the fight scene on top of the Statue of Liberty, which is terribly CGIobvious). This movie was great, and would have been the best, if not for...
1)X-men 2 - My brother blatantly disagrees with this choice. He thinks that there is only 10 minutes of great footage, that this movie bored him. Here's the thing- I'm calling shenanigans. There is so much more to X2 than just 10 minutes of awesome. Think about all of the trilogies that you've seen- Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, X-men, Spider-man, just to name a few. Okay, now tell me that X2 isn't the BEST 2nd Movie In A Trilogy that has been made. That alone is consideration for the top slot. But how about these apples: Lady Deathstrike, Magneto gets out of plastic prison, Cyclops new visor, the Airplane/Storm scene, Pyro going ape on the cops, the freaky 'is that a boy or a girl' kid in Professor Xaviers mind (okay, that's not a plus for the movie, I'll give you that)...but what takes the cake, what really put this movie over the edge and into the hallowed halls of Blog Immortality is the opening scene with Nightcrawler. If you can name one piece of cinematic history that tops this in terms of awesomonomy, I will call you a liar and give you a junkshot. There is none...BAMF BAMF BAMF- this scene single handedly convinced me that the number one power I would want to have as a mutant is the ability to teleport (along with telepathy, telekinisis, accelerated healing factor, the ability to control ice, the ability to control fire, the ability to control the weather, the ability to shoot lasers out of my eyes, and the ability to throw a deck of cards and have them explode. Oh, and to turn my body into organic steel). Plus, that whole Brotherhood/X-men camping trip where Wolverine puts the moves on Jean Grey, and then Mystique puts the moves on Wolverine as Jean Grey/Storm/Rogue/General Striker. Good thing that Wolverine stabbed her in the first movie, otherwise he'd probably have gone off and married her, and then spent the rest of his life wondering why there were two Jean Greys, and why his smelled like blue paint and latex.
There you have it. If you have long suffered in your waiting, I hope your pain was relieved. If I caused you pain by having read this, you cannot sue me, because I have nothing of value, except this lamp...
As promised, I present to you (try to hear this being said with a big, booming voice and lots of sparkles) Jasons Top Ten Superhero Movies!
10) Batman forever- Okay, if we're going to be adults here, this was a terrible movie. Batman (a different Batman, to boot) had nipples, Tommy Lee Jones was a silly Two-Face (especially in contrast with Aaron Eckharts sinisterly chilling rendition), and lots of bright neon lights. It made the first two Batman movies seem like they were filmed in black and white. Why is this film in my top ten? One word: Jim Carrey. Much like Tom Brady and a very solid team concept/brilliant salary-cap management/solid defensive schemes singlehandedly willed the Patriots to three Super Bowl titles, Jim Carrey's performance as the Riddler managed to upset the balance of power and make a bad movie into a winner. Or at least, a 'Hey, I'm proud of you guys for overcoming a 21-0 deficit AGAIN and losing only by 7. To the Houston Texans' movie.
9)Dark Knight - Before anybody backs me over with a bus, or threatens to slash my face, or slams my face into a pencil, or straps me to a barrel of gasoline and blows me up, allow me to explain why this top-whatever grossing film is bumping uglies at the bottom with Batman Forever. Well, I can explain. See, I'm not a fan of gore/horror. And while this was no 'Saw' or 'Hostel' or 'Looney Tunes', it was definitely a dark and disturbing movie. I'm sure when I watch it again, I'll like it a lot more. Lots has been said about the amazing job Heath Ledger did as the Joker, but Aaron Eckhart deserves kudos too for a great Two Face. This movie also had one of the top Movie Scenes To Be Satired On You-tube. Go to You-tube, and search for Batman Interrogation Scene. Trust me.
8)Spider-man 2 - While this movie suffers from some of the same crap that Spider-man 1 does (which I am not going to talk about now, read it later and then apply it retroactively to here. Saves me time and makes more work for you), it also has many of the strengths of the first Spider-man (which I will list, because after all, I'm all about positivity. Think of this as my maintaining feng shui of my bloggage). Great casting, great chemistry, great special effects, great villain, great internal toil and struggle. What it has that Spidey 3 doesn't is cohesion and a fluid pace. Oh, and it also has Alfred Molina, who was in one of the most underrated funny movies of all time, The Man Who Knew Too Little
6/7) Tie between Batman Begins and Batman- I couldn't bring myself to seperate these two Batman franchise pilots. While they are two completely different movies, they also both reek of the same awesomeness. Batman B.C. (Before Christian) had Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Bassinger when she had some amount of self respect, and Jack Palance. It was the movie that brought Batman into the darkness...I mean, before, he was going around in the shadows wearing gray and blue? With yellow accents? Are you kidding me? He might as well have announce his presence through a megaphone and wear flashing lights. Tim Burton made Batman one with the night, which forever made Batman cool. While some would debate Nicholson's rendition of the Joker (even I was so moved by Ledger's Joker that I went to the rooftops and told the world I was in love and didn't care who knew it), he did his interpretation well. He was very much funny and maniacal, all at the same time. Classic music, and the best part of all- in Axis chemicals, in the beginning fight scene, the gun shots sound like the gun shots did on 60's television shows. Not like the smooth 'silencer' sounds of today.
Here, I am going to pause briefly to ponder the merits of our multiversal Bruce Waynes. I don't consider Val Kilmer or George Clooney to have actually played the role. I think those were mutations, and history will undoubtedly prove me right. Michael Keaton beats C.Bale in terms of Batmanness. He was cool, collected, and had just enough of a gruff voice to scare you, but not enough to make you say 'I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. You mind, um, saying that one more time?'. Seriously, check out that video on YouTube. Christian Bale, however, pulls off Bruce Wayne much better. Probably because he is, in all honesty, a much sexier man than Michael Keaton. Keaton was in Mr. Mom, for crying out loud! Christian Bale has never been in a role where he stepped beneath his God-given right as a man to not have to cook, clean, or use a vaccum cleaner. Plus, Bale bought a hotel when they told him to leave. Of course, Michael Keaton had a great 30 second stint as the arrogant Bruce Wayne, but Bale spent much of the first movie living it up as a billionaire playboy. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.
What Batman Begins lacks in nostalgia, it makes up by just being a better movie. Well paced, good insight into HOW Batman became the Batman. Cool special effects. Liam Neeson and Cillain Murphy played complex villain roles rather well. This movie showed how flippin' scary Batman would be to the average overworked/underpaid henchman. This movie shows also that perhaps Batman doesn't have actual enemies, just people that can't understand him when he talks. Maybe we aren't seeing conflicts as much as we are witnessing misunderstandings. I mean, I would probably shoot at Batman if he tried to carry on a conversation with me. And I would hopefully hit him in the throat and dislodge whatever it was that was clogging his trachea.
5)Spider-man 1 - Some people probably would have ranked this higher...maybe even #1. Some people also eat onion rings. So I try not to go by the opinions of some people. My wife calls this list 'subjective'. It's not subjective- it's 'obsubjective'- basically combining the best of objectivity and subjectivity. Spider-man will score very highly in terms of casting, for sure. Music, love it. Special effects, great. Story, fantastic. So what gives? Well, here's the deal. Spider-man movies move VERY slowly in terms of action. Now, I know that part of the appeal of Spidey is that he's an 'ordinary guy' (yeah, like we all have been bitten by radioactive spiders and possess above-average intelligence or a combination of the two), so the story is important. But to me, Spidey falls a little bit into the classic 'tweener' category. Like, 'I'm not a drama, but I'm not an action- I'm impressionistic!', or something like that. Here's the deal, and if you're reading this, then you probably know me. I was misdiagnosed as 'normal'. However, I have ADD. I can't back this claim up 'scientifically' or 'medically'. I'm just guessing. But that's neither here nor there. The point is that, if I'm watching Spider-man after having seen it already, my mind is wandering far, far away, because there isn't enough action in it for me. If I wanted a story, I'd learn to read and then I'd read 'Pride and Prejudice' while sitting on the couch in my bathrobe, eating ice cream and crying my eyes out.
4) Iron Man - If there was anyone who was made to play the drunken, arrogant, womanizing Tony Stark, it was Robert Downey Jr. It was like God made Robert Downey Jr. to be a drunken, arrogant womanizer so he could breathe the breathe of life into this movie. Mr. Downey Jr., living the dream. This movie was balls to the wall action, but paced well, AMAZING effects, good dialogue...the only thing that kept it from being ranked higher is the whole 6 minutes of Iron Monger- seriously, can we get some sweet supervillains to get some real screen time?
3) Mystery Men - I'm willing to bet that a few of you might not have heard of this movie. I know I hadn't until I heard about it from some friends. I have to tell the truth- this movie changed my life. I realized, on that day, that I too have a superpower. I, like the Spleen, have the gift of gas. Not the gift of gaB. The gift of gaS. It's like the gift of gab, except you fart from your butt instead of your mouth. But I am getting WAY off topic. Mystery Men is not like the other movies on this list- it is straight comedy, yo. And it's B-movie quality in some respects. But it makes my top three because it is SO funny. I'll tell you who the heroes are and their powers, and then I'm going to compel you to go watch it so you know just how funny it is. Okay, there is: Shoveler- God-given gift to shovel well. Blue Radja- Throws silverware (but not knives, he's not Stab-man). Mr. Furious- Um, he actually has NO powers. Invisible Boy- Can become invisible when no one is looking at him. The Bowler- Throws a bowling ball that has her dead father's skull set into it (it's actually a lot funnier than I'm making it sound). The Spleen- Flatulance. The Sphinx- Terribly mysterious. There are tons of funny quotes, randomness, and one-liners . Seriously, check this movie out. After all, 'what the fork?'.
2)X-Men 1- To me, this movie will forever have a place in my heart as the movie that made comic movies chic. It was the ground breaker. Sure, there were comic movies before X-men, many of them. But they weren't like X-men. See, Batman and Superman transcend comics. They are cultural icons. Everyone knows Batman and Superman, they're the Worlds Finest, man! The X-men were more of a niche in terms of popularity, more associated with comics than with pop culture. X-men changed that, it brought comic books into the broader scope of 'cool'. It showed that comic book panels could be translated to the big screen, and it could look GOOD (other than the fight scene on top of the Statue of Liberty, which is terribly CGIobvious). This movie was great, and would have been the best, if not for...
1)X-men 2 - My brother blatantly disagrees with this choice. He thinks that there is only 10 minutes of great footage, that this movie bored him. Here's the thing- I'm calling shenanigans. There is so much more to X2 than just 10 minutes of awesome. Think about all of the trilogies that you've seen- Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, X-men, Spider-man, just to name a few. Okay, now tell me that X2 isn't the BEST 2nd Movie In A Trilogy that has been made. That alone is consideration for the top slot. But how about these apples: Lady Deathstrike, Magneto gets out of plastic prison, Cyclops new visor, the Airplane/Storm scene, Pyro going ape on the cops, the freaky 'is that a boy or a girl' kid in Professor Xaviers mind (okay, that's not a plus for the movie, I'll give you that)...but what takes the cake, what really put this movie over the edge and into the hallowed halls of Blog Immortality is the opening scene with Nightcrawler. If you can name one piece of cinematic history that tops this in terms of awesomonomy, I will call you a liar and give you a junkshot. There is none...BAMF BAMF BAMF- this scene single handedly convinced me that the number one power I would want to have as a mutant is the ability to teleport (along with telepathy, telekinisis, accelerated healing factor, the ability to control ice, the ability to control fire, the ability to control the weather, the ability to shoot lasers out of my eyes, and the ability to throw a deck of cards and have them explode. Oh, and to turn my body into organic steel). Plus, that whole Brotherhood/X-men camping trip where Wolverine puts the moves on Jean Grey, and then Mystique puts the moves on Wolverine as Jean Grey/Storm/Rogue/General Striker. Good thing that Wolverine stabbed her in the first movie, otherwise he'd probably have gone off and married her, and then spent the rest of his life wondering why there were two Jean Greys, and why his smelled like blue paint and latex.
There you have it. If you have long suffered in your waiting, I hope your pain was relieved. If I caused you pain by having read this, you cannot sue me, because I have nothing of value, except this lamp...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)