Has John Travolta ever fired a gun using a carrot? Can Scientologists even eat carrots?
Anyways, that's not really the point. In fact, that has nothing to do with the point. I merely took advantage of your captive audienceship to post a little rant about John Travolta. What I really wanted to mention was from that Mel Gibson trailer. There's this scene where Gibson has a flashback with his daughter, and he's shaving, and his daughter has shaving cream on her face. As a father, that scene just gets me every time. I wish that there was some way where we could go back and really re-live these awesome special moments that we have with our kids. I mean, we have our memories, and we have technology where we can record them on video and watch them- but we can never really have them again.
But that also isn't really the point of this blog either, although I'm getting closer to being on point. What I really wanted to focus in on the current "shaving cream" moment that I am sharing with Delaney. It involves copyright infringement and muliple personality disorder. It's awesome.
Disclaimer: I'm not a Robin Williams or Phil Vischer by any stretch- that is, I don't have insanely good talents of voice manipulation. That is, I don't do great impersonations. I dabble in messing with different accents and the like, and I am very interested in the qualities of verbal components like pitch, tone, cadence- basically, it's not what you say but how you say it. So while I might not be "good", I am qualified. Sort of.
Let me just get to the point- Currently I am responsible for, at any given time, 16 different personalities/voices. 16. Why do I do this? Because my daughter asks me to. Well, maybe asks isn't the right word. Expects is probably closer to the truth. Demands probably is the truth.
It started with this finger puppet Christmas book that we have. It's probably been a couple years or whatever, but anyways, there are five characters on this book- an elf, a Christmas tree, Santa Claus, a snowman, and a reindeer. So I would sing the song "We wish you a merry Christmas" to her using 5 different voices for each of the puppets. Elf is my impression of Bobby from Bobby's World, the Christmas tree is just a flat, monotone voice (I mean, if a tree could talk, how much inflection would it really have?), Santa Claus has the obligatory 'Ho ho ho', Snowman has a deep bass voice (not sure why), and for the reindeer I always put my hand over my mouth. Probably because I don't know how to speak deer.
It really started to pick up with Map. From Dora. You know..."I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'M THE MAP". I do a pretty good map. It's this sort of whiney, high pitched whine. And so Delaney wanted to be able to interact with Map. Obviously there is no Map. So it fell to me to "be" the Map.
Then...and I really am not sure how this happened, other than perhaps the fact that we got a Mario game for the Wii and my Mario pajama pants...but she wanted to be able to talk to Mario. And so, I had to delve into my pseudo-Italian accent. It's not very good, but since Mario only really says like 3 or 4 phrases in his games, there is a little wiggle room for artistic liberty.
But those two weren't enough. Soon she wanted to add Dora and Boots to the mix. Dora- well, I could probably do a much better Dora if I really really tried, but I pretty much just gave up right away and it's definitely my worst voice- just a lame kind of fake girl voice. Boots- well, if Dora is the worst, then Boots is like second worst, because I don't really do anything special for him. Probably why Boots and Dora don't get called on any more (that and we don't really watch Nickelodeon anymore- Disney rocks, but that's a blog for another time).
Then there was this mass infusion of new "talent". I'll try to remember this in order, but I think it was Manny and Mr. Lopart (from the show Handy Manny), Zabruder (who I made up as the brother of Zooter from Jungle Junction), zeFronk (a between-show character on Disney), Eeyore, Luigi, and Buck (from the latest Ice Age movie).
This whole thing has been one big exercise in both joy and frustration. I love the fact that she has this crazy active imagination. She always (and trust me when I say always) is wanting at least one or two of them to be actively involved in whatever we are doing. Often it's Mario or Elf, although she went through a Manny spell, and last night she was really digging on Buck. They've become a part of our daily lives. Here is a picture of everybody on the couch:
Plus, it's my shaving cream thing. I just know that this is something I'm going to look back on years down the road and it will bring tears to my eyes. This is our thing- sure, Sara has had a couple voices (Zooter and an obviously fake Mario), but this is what Delaney and I do. We connect through all of these really poorly done vocal caricatures.
However, if you've ever had a young child, you know how they are with things they enjoy- they literally cannot get enough. Which is why sometimes I get frustrated- and then I get frustrated at myself for being frustrated. Because she's always asking for "Mario to talk to Manny" or "Elf to sing this" or what have you...and I have to be honest that I get worn out from it sometimes. Often, actually. So I'll make something up- they're washing their hair, or they're out of the country, or sleeping.
Of course, Delaney is not stupid, and she has me call them on the phone.
But I hate that I get frustrated, because I know that she's not going to be this age forever. This is what really sucks as far as being a parent- you have to have this balance between getting through each day, surviving, and at the same time taking in as much of each day as you can. I can't believe that Delaney is going to be 4 already in May. 4!!!! I take some solace in the fact that Shane is not yet 3- but that's happening in October.
The moral of the story? Take interest in your kids, and what their interests are. You want to connect with them? Then get involved in their lives. I'm not perfect by any stretch, and I spend way more time than I should on the computer (obviously only to labor endlessly to keep supplying you with your daily dose of sweet blog posts!)...but I have this niche that I've found where Delaney and I can come together and interact and bond- and I tell you that it is the most beautiful thing in the world. Even when I want to rip out my vocal chords.
Pics from:
Shoot 'em up- http://www.filmjackets.com/FEATURES/IMAGES/Feature_ShootEmUp-med.jpg
Travolta- http://blog.taragana.com/e/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/john-travolta.jpg
1 comment:
Again you brought tears to my eyes. In a good way. Floods of memories.
Love you,
Mom
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