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Monday, July 29, 2013

The Youshouldknowjasonparks Wrestling League

For about the last week, I have been immersed in WWE '13 right up to the point of what some might consider to be absurd.  Sara would probably disagree with that assessment

If you're in the 'what-in-the-world-is-he-talking-about' crowd, lemme bring you up to speed.  WWE 13 is the latest installment of the pro wrestling video game series.  I'm not a consistent fan of wrestling, but I am a huge fan of fun, and wrestling is fun.  Video games are funner.  Wrestling video games are even funnester. 

Wrestling might not be in my blood, but I sure appreciate the heck out of it.  From the pyrotechnics to the entrance music to the over-the-top antics to the crazy feats of athleticism, it's an experience that is unlike any other.  It's like the X-Games impregnated Days of Our Lives while getting a blood transfusion from Ryan Braun.  Coupled with the fact that I had a bout of the Hulkamania as a kid, and you wouldn't need an MRI to see that there's always a little bit of wrestle-fever lurking slightly below the surface.  And about a week ago, Strong Bad reached down under my skin and yanked it right out.

And now I'm hooked.

The coolest part about the WWE video game series is not the actual wrestling itself (although that's fun enough).  No, what makes these games amazing and blog-worthy is the amount of create-a-stuff features they have.

You can (with some imagination) pretty much create any wrestler, arena, sign, or special move that your heart desires.  Once you create a wrestler, you can give him his very own entrance and his very own entrance music (and I just found out that you can create highlight videos- and upload them to YouTube.  Goodbye, free time).  The possibilities are almost endless.  The entertainment is even endlesser.

Long time readers who are familiar with my Fantasy Football exploits are very likely experiencing a sickening sort of knot in their stomach as they begin to subconsciously realize just what exactly is happening here.  And in case not, I'm going to spell it out- I'm going to be blogging about my wrestling game.

Before you close this out, erase your browsing history and delete me as a friend from Facebook, let me explain why I think this will be bone-crushingly awesome and why I want to tell the whole freaking world about it.  Quick question: What do the following people/characters have in common:

Strong Bad
Skeletor
Iron Man
Beavis
Michael Jackson
Spongebob
Batman
President Obama
Tim Tebow
Ronald McDonald

Honestly I don't care what you answered, because the correct answer is that they are all created wrestlers on my WWE 13 game! 

I'm so stoked for the wrestling mayhem that will be playing out on my PS3 over the next few months.  Imagine Megamind having a feud with Chuck Norris.  Or Darth Vader and Stephen Colbert joining forces to take out Spider-man and Edward Cullen.  The possibility for shenanigans is unending.  And where there is a limitless pool of shenanigans (the Fountain of Shenanigans, if you will), there you will find me mooching at the cash bar.

That's why I am going to be writing about the video game exploits of fake characters taking part in a make-believe sport.  Because the thought of Captain Planet feuding with Mario or Arnold Schwarzenegger squaring off against Willie Wonka with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line or Bruce Lee teaming up with Jon Snow....well those things make me smile.  And now, I'm bringing it to ya.

BOO YA!!!!

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