Hello world,
I don't really have anything to say right now. It's just that time of year, when I go for a long spell without any communication and then all of a sudden *POOF* into existence again to give you your quarterly fix of Jason Parks.
I realize I'm way behind on things- my Fantasy Football wrap up still is waiting in the wings. Unfortunately I have no real time table for them- creatively I'm running on the fumes of 2010 here, so I can't promise when I might be so inspired as to deliver my usual Grade-A-wesomeness in literary form.
Life has been ridiculously busy. I'm basically working 7 days a week- which for you math majors out there means that yes, I am working every single day. I have periodic days off at the school (thanks God for those snow days a few weeks ago), but I'll have a consistently full schedule until the summer. While that will be good for our bank account, it won't be as good for my blog account. Of course, that's what the world cares about. Right?
Honestly, today is the first time I've thought about my blog in a couple weeks. So I suppose that me writing this is perhaps a step in a positive direction towards reconnecting with myself in the arena of words. Or maybe I just had a spark of inspiration that will just as quickly fizzle into nothingness. Stay tuned!
Lately I've been watching professional wrestling, which is good for the soul. It makes me feel like a man to watch muscled dudes confront other muscled dudes and wear tiny clothing and jump around and beat each other up. I'm pretty sure my testosterone levels have gone through the roof. One really cool thing that's come out of my newest craze is the wrestling video game I bought has enabled me to connect with my kids.
Yes, you read that correctly. A wrestling video game has deepened the parent-child bond in the Parks household.
See, I downloaded some previously created wrestlers that you might have heard of- Incredible Hulk. Thor. Spider-man. Superman. Captain America. Batman. No, they aren't wrestlers in the traditional sense. But someone made them for a wrestling game, and I downloaded them, and now I have tons of fun watching Royal Rumbles involving the Avengers. How cool is that! Plus, I give them all custom theme songs that my kids are growing attached to. Do you know how deeply it warms my heart to have my children request that we listen to 'Walk' by Pantera in the car before school?
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU KNOW (sorry. Channeling my inner The Rock there).
Anyways, that's what I've been up to. Work and wrestling. As time frees up, interests will vary and I'll begin writing again in earnest. I anxiously await your waiting with bated breath.
Love you all!
Showing posts with label Hulk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hulk. Show all posts
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Get a Bachelors Degree in Whatever It Was You Could Already Do
This Monday, I start my second job at the elementary school. For those of you not strategically tapped into my brain waves, I'm going to be working in a functional learning skills classroom with children with some pretty severe developmental disabilities. I know it's going to be hard work and there will be many challenging days. Plus I'll still be working at my current job, so I'll be working literally every day of the week (around 60 hours per week in total. Yup. I'm badass). Nonetheless, I'm very excited about this opportunity. Which, given the hopelessness in my job searching since graduation, is no small feat.
It's been a year and a half since I graduated, and the only jobs I've been able to secure are the ones that I could have got with a mere high school education. Don't get me wrong- I've enjoyed most of those jobs. I've had fun, got some nice experience, and met some great people. But it is slightly frustrating to have spent mucho mula to go to college to get jobs that I could have with my trusty high school diploma.
Not that I would give back my college experience for anything. I learned so much about the world I live in, I met a phenomenal group of women that taught me just as much as the professors did (a metric crap-ton), and I got some nice looking trophies to hang on my resume. I got to be the first person in my immediate family to graduate from college and that is an achievement that I do not take lightly. And my children got to see me walk across the stage to receive my degree, so they see that there is some value in hard work and perseverance.
Of course, it's a good thing I learned to persevere so that when I graduated I could find a series of part time jobs to work hard at so we could barely stay afloat. Post college life has been a struggle. Before I got this job at the school, I hadn't been able to find anyone willing to hire me for more than 24 hours a week or $8 an hour (I don't count my time as an AFT because that was like a paid three-month tour of duty in hell). Not from lack of effort- there's just not that much out here in the U.P. I even applied at Target and Wal-Mart! All I got was a 'Thanks but no thanks' e-mail from Target and no call back from Wal-Mart. I guess it was just as depressing for them to think about hiring a 32-year old college graduate as it was for me to think about working there.
I shouldn't take it so personally though. The fact is that more kids are graduating from college today than in the past, and so the field of potential employees for limited jobs is now a much more competitive one (for better and for worse). I didn't get a case manager position at the social service agency I work for now because a couple of other BSWs had applied for the same position. Sure, I have reason to believe that I was the better candidate based on my resume (and my self-affirmation bias) but the reality is that there are more and more people who look like me (just on paper, thank God) in the search for jobs.
The structure of the employment market is different too. Back in the day, you could afford to graduate from high school and get a nice factory job that would pay you good, middle-class money and you could work there for 30 years or whatever and then retire. BOOM. Sure, there were elite jobs that required college, but you could still make a good living without it.
Nowadays, the same hierarchical job structure is there, except that the factory-type job paying middle-class money with benefits has been outsourced to other countries. So the middle and lower jobs saw a shift downwards in the income level, but now you have to spend around $50,000 just to have a chance to get rejected from these lesser jobs. Unless you go to a rich school where you can make some meaningful ($$$) connections.
Even then, in this era of affirmative action and equal hiring policies you see the 'Old boys network' slowly eroding away. Sure, there are places that you can get a job just based on who you know (and the reality is that social networks do play a role in getting many jobs), but it's getting harder and harder to simply cash in a favor for such work. Trust me, I know. I now have a negative favor balance and a restraining order from Shop-ko.
And even though I've had some nice experiences, apparently they haven't been the right ones. In my quest to thrust myself into the upper-lower class, I have found a plethora of jobs that all seem to be looking for this one thing- experience. Unfortunately you need experience to get experience and they won't hire you without experience. It's like a circular logic merry-go-round, and I'm trying to jump on it...except the guy spinning it is the Incredible Hulk.
Say what you will about Occupy Wall Street (I guess really I should just say Occupy X, since prit-near every city has their own Occupy movement now), but the basic premise of the movement is sound. There is a disparity in our society. It's easy to point the finger at poor people and call them lazy or entitled or whatever, but there are people out there who are willing and able to work hard- there just aren't many opportunities to work hard and make a decent living. Yes, my life as an American in poverty is much, much better than most of the poor people (and even some non-poor people) elsewhere in the world. I'm thankful for what I have and for the opportunities that I've been afforded.
But the American Dream wasn't built on the idea that hard work and sacrifice will get you the exact same thing that just doing the bare minimum would. No, that's just what the latest version of it has become.
PS- Since I'll be working around 60 hours per week between my two jobs, I can't promise that my blog will receive the tender love and care that you've come to expect from me. I do hope to update it often enough for it to not fade into oblivion...but I don't know how much energy I'll have at the end of each day, either. Regardless of what happens in the short term, I at http://www.youshouldknowjasonparks.blogspot.com/ am not leaving and will continue to sporadically give you the same level of post quality as I did back when I was a underemployed stay-at-home dad/bum. Which I suppose could be taken as a sign to abandon ship, I don't know.
PIC- https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8a2R8quOv29yPI1rKBRuFk8hWLPhjcmv0BOuQwUmVUBVmc-QOC8lBKg8KKTak-nJQ-1xCKQnJvrGBzlAeoq2NZL8MEKUeh92kj1Ka1crRZbV6QA79x53P_OKh4CePgkTfcoC5gxEtFNsm/s1600/bixby_hulk5.jpg
It's been a year and a half since I graduated, and the only jobs I've been able to secure are the ones that I could have got with a mere high school education. Don't get me wrong- I've enjoyed most of those jobs. I've had fun, got some nice experience, and met some great people. But it is slightly frustrating to have spent mucho mula to go to college to get jobs that I could have with my trusty high school diploma.
Not that I would give back my college experience for anything. I learned so much about the world I live in, I met a phenomenal group of women that taught me just as much as the professors did (a metric crap-ton), and I got some nice looking trophies to hang on my resume. I got to be the first person in my immediate family to graduate from college and that is an achievement that I do not take lightly. And my children got to see me walk across the stage to receive my degree, so they see that there is some value in hard work and perseverance.
Of course, it's a good thing I learned to persevere so that when I graduated I could find a series of part time jobs to work hard at so we could barely stay afloat. Post college life has been a struggle. Before I got this job at the school, I hadn't been able to find anyone willing to hire me for more than 24 hours a week or $8 an hour (I don't count my time as an AFT because that was like a paid three-month tour of duty in hell). Not from lack of effort- there's just not that much out here in the U.P. I even applied at Target and Wal-Mart! All I got was a 'Thanks but no thanks' e-mail from Target and no call back from Wal-Mart. I guess it was just as depressing for them to think about hiring a 32-year old college graduate as it was for me to think about working there.
I shouldn't take it so personally though. The fact is that more kids are graduating from college today than in the past, and so the field of potential employees for limited jobs is now a much more competitive one (for better and for worse). I didn't get a case manager position at the social service agency I work for now because a couple of other BSWs had applied for the same position. Sure, I have reason to believe that I was the better candidate based on my resume (and my self-affirmation bias) but the reality is that there are more and more people who look like me (just on paper, thank God) in the search for jobs.
The structure of the employment market is different too. Back in the day, you could afford to graduate from high school and get a nice factory job that would pay you good, middle-class money and you could work there for 30 years or whatever and then retire. BOOM. Sure, there were elite jobs that required college, but you could still make a good living without it.
Nowadays, the same hierarchical job structure is there, except that the factory-type job paying middle-class money with benefits has been outsourced to other countries. So the middle and lower jobs saw a shift downwards in the income level, but now you have to spend around $50,000 just to have a chance to get rejected from these lesser jobs. Unless you go to a rich school where you can make some meaningful ($$$) connections.
Even then, in this era of affirmative action and equal hiring policies you see the 'Old boys network' slowly eroding away. Sure, there are places that you can get a job just based on who you know (and the reality is that social networks do play a role in getting many jobs), but it's getting harder and harder to simply cash in a favor for such work. Trust me, I know. I now have a negative favor balance and a restraining order from Shop-ko.
And even though I've had some nice experiences, apparently they haven't been the right ones. In my quest to thrust myself into the upper-lower class, I have found a plethora of jobs that all seem to be looking for this one thing- experience. Unfortunately you need experience to get experience and they won't hire you without experience. It's like a circular logic merry-go-round, and I'm trying to jump on it...except the guy spinning it is the Incredible Hulk.
 |
| And he's drinking what looks to be Campells Grape-flavored soup. Must have been a '70's thing... |
But the American Dream wasn't built on the idea that hard work and sacrifice will get you the exact same thing that just doing the bare minimum would. No, that's just what the latest version of it has become.
PS- Since I'll be working around 60 hours per week between my two jobs, I can't promise that my blog will receive the tender love and care that you've come to expect from me. I do hope to update it often enough for it to not fade into oblivion...but I don't know how much energy I'll have at the end of each day, either. Regardless of what happens in the short term, I at http://www.youshouldknowjasonparks.blogspot.com/ am not leaving and will continue to sporadically give you the same level of post quality as I did back when I was a underemployed stay-at-home dad/bum. Which I suppose could be taken as a sign to abandon ship, I don't know.
PIC- https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8a2R8quOv29yPI1rKBRuFk8hWLPhjcmv0BOuQwUmVUBVmc-QOC8lBKg8KKTak-nJQ-1xCKQnJvrGBzlAeoq2NZL8MEKUeh92kj1Ka1crRZbV6QA79x53P_OKh4CePgkTfcoC5gxEtFNsm/s1600/bixby_hulk5.jpg
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Shame on Suh
In case you didn't watch the Packers-Lions turkey day tilt this afternoon (and if you're reading this blog, there is really no reason why you shouldn't have), then you missed the time when Ndamukong Suh morphed into the WWF version of the Incredible Hulk.
Much has been made this season about the Detroit Lions being a dirty team and Suh being named the dirtiest player in the league (in a recent poll done by the Sporting News. I guess). For the most part, I don't have a huge problem with, as Brian Urlacher put it, the Lions playing to 'the echo of the whistle'. This is about changing a losing culture, and if they have to go a little too far the other way- well, that's fine. People just need to know that they can't mess with the Detroit Lions.
In that regard, I love what Suh brings to the table. He is a physical freak- with python-like arms, a non-stop motor, and running back athleticism. He has an impossible to pronounce/spell first name mixed with a phonetically pleasing last name which helps him to appeal to...well, whatever demographic that sort of thing appeals to. His arrival in Detroit has coincided with the Renaissance that has been Detroit football the last couple years. It's like a breath of fresh air, which is no trivial thing when you're living in a cesspool like Detroit.
Of course, you have to take the bad with the good, and in this case, our dominant defensive lineman/philanthropist is also apparently a delusional homicidal maniac. During the past two seasons, he has almost ripped the heads off of two QBs. He also did a pretty fair 'Hulk Smash' impression on Jay Cutler's back last year. The worst part of this is that he doesn't seem to realize this- or he does realize and just doesn't care.
Today's incident seriously upped the rhetoric from the 'Suh/dirty player' camps, and as much as it pains me to say this- the pundits just might be right about this one. I think what puts elevates this incident over the others in terms of 'Okay, maybe Suh is a little bit of an angry douche-bag' was when he unsuccessfully tried to tell the world that he was the victim here.
Before watching Suh wade through probably the worst apology/defense since Tiger Woods tried to tell us his golf clubs had attacked him, his shenanigans reminded me of the Bad Boys. Sure, they played rough, and they may or may not have broken some rules (as well as basic laws of human decency), but they were our team and it actually made us feel closer to them. People were backing us into the same corner, and as long as that corner wasn't anywhere near Bill Laimbeer, we were just fine to bunkerize ourselves with them.
It's been the same thing for Donkey-Kong Suh. With each incident, each act of competitive violence, it was just justified in the context of being a 'competitor'. Yeah he tried to rip his head off- but it's Jake Delhomme. He'd have done the Browns a favor! And so what that he tried to forearm shiver Jay Cutler into a greasy paste? He was just trying to make a play! Besides, sometimes I just think your hands end up really close to someones head in football and you just have to violently tear them away. Completely natural.
But today was somehow different. And I really think the difference lies in the level of self-deceit apparent in the post game comments about the incident.
Understand that football can be a violent game and with all that adrenaline and testosterone and pressure, it makes sense that dudes would get pissed off once in awhile. I'm not begrudging Suh that. Sure, his stunt gave the Packers a first down inside the 5 after we had just stopped them on a third-and-goal, which was exactly what our team needed after the Packers apparently performed some sort of ritual exorcism at halftime and rid them of the first half sucktitude. The fact that he got ejected was just icing on the 'We're screwed' cake. Okay, so maybe I'm a little bit begrudging.
But if he just would have came out afterwards and been like 'Man, I don't know what happened- I was just really really hungry and I didn't think I could wait until after the game, and I just kept thinking about turkey, and I was pissed that I couldn't eat until after the game and- well, I let my hunger get the best of me and I behaved in a way that was detrimental to my team, the fans, and this great organization. I'm sorry, and I'll accept whatever punishment that comes my way'. I would have accepted that. Lots of dudes get angry and do stupid stuff. Especially when turkey is involved.
That's not what he did though. He came out and basically blamed the refs for throwing him out for just trying to get up. He appealed to his 'true fans' and God (I'm assuming God. He said 'the man upstairs'. Which, given his apparent assessment of reality, could be some guy that he actually thinks lives 'upstairs') and basically accused anyone who tries to spin this into the 'Suh=dirtiest NFL player' narrative of being some sort of self-serving jerk-nalist. He tried to justify the kicking action by saying he was 'trying to gain his balance'.
 |
| HULK...TRYING TO...MAINTAIN....EQUILIBRIUM... |
And seriously, I think a suspension would do him good, if for no other reason than to hopefully get him to acknowledge that 'Hey, I can still be a tough guy who stretches the rules just as long as I don't obviously break them'. We were joking about Suh before the game, and the ripping off of other players heads (figuratively speaking) and in that moment I sort of pictured that very thing literally happening- and it didn't surprise me at all. And it makes sense. Suh is not the first guy with that kind of strength and that built up passive rage (while seeming to lack the ability to comprehend his actions from a second-person perspective) that we've come across...
 |
| HULK SHOW YOU ROUGHING PASSER!!!!! |
PIC-
Hulk 1- http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4127/4835814723_cce53fd3c3.jpg
Hulk 2- http://www.riverglassdesigns.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/hulk-smash1.jpg
Friday, October 7, 2011
Marvel Machine defense
Welcome to part 2 of my "Marvel vs. DC: The Gridiron Years" saga. If you missed part 1, then click here. If you read it and don't miss it, then WHO NEEDS YOU ANYWAYS?????
Sorry about that- I forgot to take my Internet estrogen. Here's a look at the defense. As before, pictures are from comicvine.com and measurables are from marvel.com. Now, let's get ready to rumble:
Assuming that the Hulk can stay mad (and I can't imagine that would be difficult while mucking around in the trenches), Marvel has a defensive end fueled by rage who continues to grow stronger as he gets angrier. Reminds me a lot of Donkey Kong Suh. They might need a way to figure out how to help Hulk control that rage though- otherwise I'm seeing a continuous series of encroachment and roughing-the-passer penalties from the Jolly Green Giant. And when I say 'roughing-the-passer', I mean 'beating-the-passer-into-a-bloody-pulp'. Which is still probably just a 15-yard penalty with automatic first down. Can't protect quarterbacks too much, eh Goodell?
There are a lot of fat dudes that have made a lot of money in the NFL simply because they could stand there in the middle of the defensive line and not be moved. Well who better in the comic universe to fill that role than the Blob? Seriously, I think this guy single-handedly shuts down any inside run game from DC, and frees up the D-ends to tee off on the DC quarterback. Plus, he's a fat guy wearing a leotard. So that too will help slow down the DC offense. Have you ever tried running a football while suppressing the gag reflex?
Besides already having his own shoulder pads, Colossus is an asset to the Marvel D because of his organic steel frame, super strength, and Russian heritage. But really it's because he has his own shoulder pads. Those things aren't cheap!
Sabretooth is like Lawrence Taylor from Hell. This angry quarterback-seeking missile prowls the offensive backfield with death and blood on his mind. He won't be making plays as much as he will be making piles of dead bodies that you have to step over to get past the line of scrimmage.
Look, I've seen all three Iron Man movies.
So I know the weapons systems and targeting and tracking and all that stuff that Tony Stark has inside that suit. Combined with his cockiness and natural smarts, I can't think of a better captain of the Marvel D. Plugging him in at inside linebacker gives his suit the proper vantage point to utilize his technology to shut down the opposing offense. Also, it keeps him away from the fans, who are probably going to be drinking beer.
As I think back to the two weeks that I spent playing defense in high school (before they realized I was too weak and slow to be anything more than a welcome mat), I remember our coach screaming at us about the importance of using our hands and not allowing the blockers to get into our body areas. That is not an issue with the good doctor here. Most human beings are limited to one pair of hands. But Doc Ock has three pair. Three. That means that pair number one engages the oncoming blocker, pair number two coils around the ball carriers legs to prevent further yardage from being gained, and pair number three is free to readjust the pesky athletic supporter, which always seems to bunch up at the most inconvenient tim..YEOUCH!!!!
Like the Florida State defensive ends of the late '90's, Thor has only one role- to run as fast as he can to try and tackle the quarterback. No way I want any part of him trying to have to make thoughtful decisions on the fly. No dropping back into coverage. No trying to read the play. Just use that Asgardian speed-burst to plant Mjolnir into the passers' chest.
With a normal cornerback, you're worried about two things:
Apart from having all the super-human attributes, Namor has the supreme arrogance that any good cornerback needs. No need to worry about giving up that 50 yard touchdown pass to put DC up by two scores- Namor doesn't give up 50 yard touchdown passes. The only concern is that he starts to lose power the longer he's out of water. So keep those fluids coming, guys!
Wolverine might be a step slow at safety, but he's a perfect fit for this defense. He's tough as nails. A superb natural athlete.. He has a nose for the ball. And with a skeleton laced with adamantium, you best believe any receiver that crosses over the middle is going to get nailed like he's never been nailed before. And with twelve inch adamantium claws, it will literally be like getting nailed. Ouch. Hope someone here knows meta-human First Aid!
If you combined Einstein's mental capacities with LeBron James' freakish athletic gifts, you would probably end up with someone like the Beast. Although looking at this picture, I'm assuming that you dropped a Smurf in there too, and maybe Hello Kitty. But anyways Beast is an amazingly gifted athlete who is also one of the smartest minds in the Marvel U. I see your play-action, DC, and raise you some enzyme catalyzed reductions and an interception. Boo-yah.
Nick Fury has an eye-patch and is played on the silver screen by Samuel L. That's all you need to know. And because Nick is such a secretive guy, that's pretty much all you get to know. Oh dear, I've said too much.
Come back on Wednesday to check out the DC Stars roster- starting with their high-octane offense led by....STAY TUNED!
PICS- Iron Man- http://heightslibrary.org/wordpress/undeadrat/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/ironmanondvdfull1.jpg
Iron Man 2- http://fcdn.filmonic.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/iron-man-2-dvd.jpg
Iron Giant- http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51R222WH7SL._SL500_AA300_.jpg
Sorry about that- I forgot to take my Internet estrogen. Here's a look at the defense. As before, pictures are from comicvine.com and measurables are from marvel.com. Now, let's get ready to rumble:
 |
| Defensive end- Hulk 8', 1400 lbs |
 |
| Nose tackle- Blob 5'10", 510 lbs |
 |
| Defensive end- Colossus 7'5", 500 lbs |
 | |
| Outside linebacker- Sabretooth 6'6", 375 lbs |
 | |
| Inside linebacker- Iron Man 6'6", 425 lbs |
 |
| This one's my favorite. Although, why didn't he blow stuff up? |
 |
| Inside linebacker- Doctor Octopus 5'9", 245 lbs |
 | |
| Outside linebacker- Thor 6'6", 640 lbs |
 | |
| Cornerback- Spider-man 5'10", 167 lbs |
- Their ability to match up with the opposing wide receiver and play lock-down man-to-man defense.
- Their hands of stone.
 |
| Cornerback- Namor 6'2", 278 lbs |
 |
| Strong safety- Wolverine 5'3", 300 lbs |
 |
| Free safety- Beast 5'11", 402 lbs |
 |
| Defensive coordinator- Nick Fury |
Come back on Wednesday to check out the DC Stars roster- starting with their high-octane offense led by....STAY TUNED!
PICS- Iron Man- http://heightslibrary.org/wordpress/undeadrat/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/ironmanondvdfull1.jpg
Iron Man 2- http://fcdn.filmonic.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/iron-man-2-dvd.jpg
Iron Giant- http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51R222WH7SL._SL500_AA300_.jpg
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