Hello world,
I don't really have anything to say right now. It's just that time of year, when I go for a long spell without any communication and then all of a sudden *POOF* into existence again to give you your quarterly fix of Jason Parks.
I realize I'm way behind on things- my Fantasy Football wrap up still is waiting in the wings. Unfortunately I have no real time table for them- creatively I'm running on the fumes of 2010 here, so I can't promise when I might be so inspired as to deliver my usual Grade-A-wesomeness in literary form.
Life has been ridiculously busy. I'm basically working 7 days a week- which for you math majors out there means that yes, I am working every single day. I have periodic days off at the school (thanks God for those snow days a few weeks ago), but I'll have a consistently full schedule until the summer. While that will be good for our bank account, it won't be as good for my blog account. Of course, that's what the world cares about. Right?
Honestly, today is the first time I've thought about my blog in a couple weeks. So I suppose that me writing this is perhaps a step in a positive direction towards reconnecting with myself in the arena of words. Or maybe I just had a spark of inspiration that will just as quickly fizzle into nothingness. Stay tuned!
Lately I've been watching professional wrestling, which is good for the soul. It makes me feel like a man to watch muscled dudes confront other muscled dudes and wear tiny clothing and jump around and beat each other up. I'm pretty sure my testosterone levels have gone through the roof. One really cool thing that's come out of my newest craze is the wrestling video game I bought has enabled me to connect with my kids.
Yes, you read that correctly. A wrestling video game has deepened the parent-child bond in the Parks household.
See, I downloaded some previously created wrestlers that you might have heard of- Incredible Hulk. Thor. Spider-man. Superman. Captain America. Batman. No, they aren't wrestlers in the traditional sense. But someone made them for a wrestling game, and I downloaded them, and now I have tons of fun watching Royal Rumbles involving the Avengers. How cool is that! Plus, I give them all custom theme songs that my kids are growing attached to. Do you know how deeply it warms my heart to have my children request that we listen to 'Walk' by Pantera in the car before school?
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU KNOW (sorry. Channeling my inner The Rock there).
Anyways, that's what I've been up to. Work and wrestling. As time frees up, interests will vary and I'll begin writing again in earnest. I anxiously await your waiting with bated breath.
Love you all!
Showing posts with label Superman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Superman. Show all posts
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, October 14, 2011
DC Stars defense
Last time I trotted out Superman the offense that the DC Stars would utilize to win the gridiron battle between the comic industrys' big two. Today, I present their defense. It isn't as pretty as the O, but as you will soon see, it is very capable of delivering a serious case of smack-down.
Pictures are taken from comicvine.com. Measurables are taken from the DC Wiki. Commentary is borrowed from the Hive Mind.
Ordinarily, I'm not one to advocate the use of performance enhancing drugs. But this guy is as smart as Batman. He can lift up to three tons when he's juicing. So if I'm DC, I want him on the field at any cost. ANY cost. If that means a little Venom-drip on the sidelines between series, well then that's what has to happen. Besides, Hulk has to get angry to release his powers, and I'm pretty sure that anger is a sin just like cheating is.
There is a reason I chose three anthropomorphic apes for linebackers on the Marvel D, and it isn't just because I'm lazy and didn't want to write about all of them (although...). Just think about the physical attributes of a gorilla. They're extremely strong and agile. Gorillas are non-territorial, but will fight to defend their troop (in this case, the DC Stars defensive unit). Then you factor in that gorillas already have a high level of natural intelligence, and these Three Amigo-rillas have enhanced genius intellect and assorted super powers. Think 'Congo' but on the football field and field position instead of diamonds.
If Black Panther tries this stunt, then Black Adam will grab his arm and remove it from his body. Will Marvel most likely end up with a first down due to a personal foul penalty? Yup. But in a game of this magnitude, if you have a chance to trade 15 yards for a ballcarriers arm, you take the 15 yards. NOTE: I am not condoning the ripping out of people's arms in normal football. But do what you have to do
I realize that Mr. Freeze is much to slow to play football- shoot he's probably too slow for shuffleboard. But I don't need Mr. Freeze to be a speedy corner- I just need him to jam receivers at the line. And by 'jam receivers, I mean 'shoot them with his freezey ray gun'. As effective as a physical corner can be in the five yard box with jamming receivers and disrupting timing, imagine a corner who can literally freeze a wideout before he gets into his route.
It would have been easy to just stick him over on offense as a WR, a la Mr. Fantastic. Of course, with my situational omnipotence, it is just as easy to plug him on on defense specifically to stop Mr. Fantastic. I guess I just figured that Plastic Man is sort of a goofball, and I'm afraid that Superman would get pissed off at his antics and just throw the football so hard at his head that Plastic Man would instantly disintegrate and release all that Bisphenol A into the air, and I just don't think anyone wants to deal with that sort of public relations backlash.
A literal hitman, Deathstroke has enhanced strength and reflexes and the ability to use 90% of his brain. While this actually might not be as impressive as Wikipedia would like us to believe, it would still is probably a good 85-90% more than most football players are able to use. Yes, I made a joke about football players being stupid.
Perhaps more than talent, the best weapon for a defense is preparation. If they can know what the offense is going to do it is much easier for them to keep the offense from doing it. With all of the brilliant minds in the DCU, there are dozens of candidates who could pour over film and discern tendencies within formations and situations. But this type of study would take hours, and probably be flawed by human subjection. Brainiac 13 could analyze all the film and calculate probabilities in a matter of seconds without the interference of a conscious mind. Sure, his main goal is the eradication of all life forms- but you have to take the bad with the good. Kind of like marriage, except normally your wife's main ambition is not to wipe you out from existence (although you'd think so, what with all the nagging she does).
That concludes our look at the rosters of the Marvel Machine and the DC Stars. The stage is now set. The pieces are in play. Events have been put into motion. So how does this all play out? I'll tell you- next week.
PIC-
Roy Williams- http://mnjails.info/images2/ernest-roy-williams-1103602.jpg
Roy Williams (coach)- http://www.midwestsportsfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/roy-williams.jpg
Roy Williams (DB)- http://sports.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/roy-williams.jpg
Roy Williams (WR)-http://old.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/pt/photos/2009/09/090913_NS_13WilliamsSignal.jpg
Pictures are taken from comicvine.com. Measurables are taken from the DC Wiki. Commentary is borrowed from the Hive Mind.
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| Defensive end- Bane 6'8", 350 lbs |
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| Nose tackle- Doomsday 8'10", 915 lbs |
Dude killed Superman. Need I say more?
More than physical attributes, most football talking heads praise the "non-stop motors" of defensive linemen. A defensive lineman with a non-stop motor can singlehandedly disrupt an offense by forcing the QB to try and make plays outside their comfort zone. Kalibak is one of those rare players who has both impressive physical skills and a non-stop motor. And the reason that he has a non-stop motor is because he has constantly trying to impress his apathetic father, Darkseid. Despite constantly having his affections rebuffed, poor old Kalibak will keep trudging out there, play after play, trying to sack the QB to get that long-desired 'attaboy' from his emotionally distant father.
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| Defensive end- Kalibak 7'9", 810 lbs |
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| Outside linebacker- Grodd 6'6", 600 lbs |
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| Inside linebacker- Ultra-humanite 7', 600 lbs |
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| Outside linebacker- Black Adam 6'3", 250 lbs |
All you have to know is that this guy can go toe-to-toe with Superman. But I'll tell you more. Black Adam has all of the abilities you'd look for in a linebacker- speed, strength, a chip on his shoulder, and the ability to summon magical lightning. Oh, and he is a vicious tackler. Forget about trying to separate the ball from the ballcarrier- Black Adam has that old school disposition of trying to separate the ball-carrier from the ball carrier. And this will come in handy for the Stars. Football is largely a mental game played out in a physical arena. As such, the ability to dictate what your opponent does because you're "in their head" is a huge advantage that transcends measurables. Black Adam will play the role of football bouncer. Nightcrawler getting a little cocky after a big play? He won't be showboating after Black Adam rips his tail off. Black Panther gets a first down and channels his inner Roy Williams?
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| Not that Roy Williams. Although I'm sure he channels this Roy in the bathrooms of Wakanda. |
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| Um, no. Wait, what? No. NO. |
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| Closer, but this Roy plays defense. Or at least he used to, before his career went in the toilet. |
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| There we go. First down, Marvel! |
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| Cornerback- Mr. Freeze 6', 190 lbs |
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| Cornerback- Plastic Man 6'1", 178 lbs (variable height) |
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| Safety- Deathstroke 6'4", 225 lbs |
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| Safety- Nightwing 5'10", 175 lbs |
Look, just because I wanted Batman studying film in the Batcave and preparing a foolproof gameplan doesn't mean that I don't want him out on the field too. And what better way to get the best of both worlds than to have Nightwing on the roster? Batman's most successful disciple has many of the impressive physical and mental abilities that Batman does, but without all the psychological issues.
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| Defensive coordinator- Brainiac 13 |
That concludes our look at the rosters of the Marvel Machine and the DC Stars. The stage is now set. The pieces are in play. Events have been put into motion. So how does this all play out? I'll tell you- next week.
PIC-
Roy Williams- http://mnjails.info/images2/ernest-roy-williams-1103602.jpg
Roy Williams (coach)- http://www.midwestsportsfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/roy-williams.jpg
Roy Williams (DB)- http://sports.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/roy-williams.jpg
Roy Williams (WR)-http://old.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/pt/photos/2009/09/090913_NS_13WilliamsSignal.jpg
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Marvel vs. DC- The DC Stars (offense)
Last week, I entered into a great philosophical debate with myself about which comic book superheroes would make for great football players. It wasn't pretty- tempers flared, hurtful words words were exchanged, a hit may or may not have been ordered, but in the end, I (we?) agreed on a cohesive, dominant Marvel roster that would surely take on all comers. At the very least, they should be able to take out the Minnesota Vikings (NFC North burn!).
So for this week, I was charged with the task of finding for them a worthy adversary from their rival universe, DC. And that's what I did. Because I'm the taskMaster. Not to be confused with the Taskmaster- he's a Marvel super-villian.
Pictures are taken from comicvine.com. Measurables are taken from the DC Wiki. And commentary is taken from the mind of AWESOME!!!!
Really I could have plugged Supes in just about anywhere and it would have made sense. After all, he can pretty much do anything. But I figured he would be a great QB for the DC Stars for a few reasons.
Besides- weren't those dreamy eyes made to scan defenses and read coverages?
Being a Detroit Lions fan in my formative football years, I was annually treated to the joy that was watching Barry Sanders run. Of particular joy to me was to read and listen to all the really smart football guys, coaches and defensive players on other teams talk about how they hated playing against Barry. They would say things about how they "couldn't sleep" and the thought of playing against him "gave them nightmares".
So when assembling the DC roster, I eschewed the normal attributes for a RB, and thought- What if the RB could literally inspire fear in the defense? What if he actually drew his power from the fear of each and every living creature across the known universe- and he could harness that fear as light energy through a special piece of jewelry? Thus Sinestro became a part of the team. I'm sure athletically he'll be fine (even though with those proportions I'm worried about the Hulk snapping him like a toothpick), but his ability to strike literal fear into the defense will go a long way in covering up any sort of deficiency in his abilities. Besides, this is really Superman's show. The other players are just there to make him look good. Not that it is a difficult thing to do.
Aside from being a hulking behemoth in his own right, Kilowog has a Green Lantern Ring, which means that he can pretty much make anything his mind can conceive of. Could that come in handy? Ya think? Seriously, think of the implications- need to stay in and block for the QB? Brick wall! Can't quite reach that outlet pass? Giant pair of hands! Seconds ticking away to victory? Tub of Gatorade!
Have you watched the Patriots at all this year? I sure have- because Tom Brady is my Fantasy Football QB. And my Fantasy Football team is awesome. Did you really think I would go this whole series without mentioning Fantasy Football? Anyways, if you've followed the Pats, you've seen the kind of damage that mighty-mite Wes Welker has been able to inflict on opposing defenses. Now imagine if Welker could run Mach 10, vibrate through solid objects, and harness the power of the Speed Force. Not that Bill Belichik would care- he'd still probably try to spread the ball around like the offense is some complex game of hot potato.
With so many speedsters in the DCU (our Flash is Barry Allen, by the way. I'm not sure why there are so many different Flashes), why have Aquaman at the other WR position? Why not put another DC speedster out there? Maybe Zoom? Or how about Professor Zoom? Kid Zoom Kid Flash? Black Flash? Max Mercury?
Because I wanted to be a little more creative than that. And what's more creative than putting an Atlantean sea-dweller who has a prosthetic left hand that is usually a sword into a land-based game at a position that usually requires two hands? That's pretty freaking creative, eh? Besides, on this team Aquaman is a glorified third tackles. I mean, look at who our QB is. Seriously, look at him.
Amazo, on the other hand, will probably be like Jimmy Graham or Rob Gronkowski on this team and catch tons of passes for lots of yards and touchdowns. You should know that I have both of those TEs on my Fantasy Football team. And my team is awesome- just sayin'! In addition to being really tall, Amazo is notable for his ability to replicate the powers of any meta-human he comes in contact with. This opens up an entire world of options on the offense. Think about Amazo. Now think about the Marvel defense. Now think about Amazo replicating any of their powers- do you see why this is amazing? Or should I say- Amazoing?
Swamp Thing has his own set of skills and abilities which are probably all fine and dandy. But he is really only here because of his ability to speak to, influence, and manipulate plant life. Quick botany lesson- grass is a plant. So not only do the Marvel defenders have to worry about what the DC offense is doing, they have to worry about what the grass is doing.
I want to talk about the interior of the DC offensive line as one. Partly because the three of them have some physical similarities that would seem to make them poor choices to serve as interior offensive linemen, and partly because I'm tired of writing about offensive linemen. Oh, excuse me- offensive linepeople. At first glance, these three don't fit the dimensions of a typical guard or center. Clayface is 180? Beast Boy, a whopping 150 lbs? And the 7' Big Barda is all of 197 lbs? Does DC realize how ridiculous it is to have a 7'0" chick that weights less than 200 lbs? She'd look like this:
But on this line, with this team, size doesn't matter. Let's be clear here- the offense is predicated on Superman either running some sort of read-option play or firing a quick slant/WR screen to the Flash. So the Stars don't really need maulers in the trenches. They just need lineme..sorry, linepeople to interfere with and annoy the defense. Clayface can muck up any sort of defensive interference. Big Barda might have Barbie-like proportions, but she's Superman-strong and also has Apokolyptian combat training. Beast Boy, in addition to literally being annoying, can transform into any animal in the history of ever. He could transform into a woolly mammoth for those short yardage plays or into a green crow to fly in the face of the defender on a screen pass.
I know, I know- I'm brilliant. You don't have to wait, you can tell me now.
Rounding out the offensive line is Alloy, a little-known character from an alternate future. All you have to know is that he is most likely tall and is formed by all of the Metal Men combining together. That's where he gets his name. Alloy. Because he's an alloy. Yeah, I'm tired of writing about the O-line.
Pretty much insert whatever I wrote about Bullseye in the Marvel article and put it here, except replace 'sociopath who can turn any object into a weapon and is renowned for his deadly accuracy' with 'playboy millionaire politician with leftist leanings'. Actually, I guess you could just repeat the quote, verbatim.
Kick/punt returns- Superman and Flash. Again with the obvious.
You're probably surprised that I didn't suit up Batman given his years of martial arts training, special gadgets, and enhanced levels of strength and endurance. But as great as Batman is in the arena, he's perhaps more devastating outside of it. His meticulous preparation and legendary detective skills will serve him best in the film room, as he analyzes secretly obtained video footage of the Marvel practices. Give him a week, and he can figure out a way to beat the Marvel Machine. Give him two weeks- there's no way DC can lose.
Lex here got the OC gig for a couple reasons. First of all, he's always trying to pull some crazy real estate schemes. Well isn't that what football is? Just a series of choreographed skirmishes designed to take control of or defend bits of territory? Second, who knows Superman's weaknesses better than Luthor? As long as we can convince him that they're working together just for right now, he can put together a gameplan to take full advantage of Supermans' strengths and stay away from his weaknesses...like cheerleaders.
So who does DC plan to employ to stop the high-powered Marvel attack? Tune in on Friday to know for sure!
Non-comicvine PICS- Clark (football)-http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8z7ucfHOo1qb2sdzo1_500.jpg
Clark- http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/12780/640067-tom_welling_super.jpg
Clark 2- https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHg5jgWTo-_emJ_RmBnbF6Lzea78VTSl6GKyHixhmmG9NIfa9WWnJK85CDsIOL1DFy96V8LQby2TjmCP7obVcEgXKhisyUQhDO1yfh6sK_awubZWLldk3XQZOVjjqw9Q6MVLiwqW2Lye8/s1600/tom-welling+(1).jpg
Manute Bol- http://socialightent.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/061910-manute-bol-gallery-sw-9_20100619150512_600_400.jpg
Lana Lang- http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2009/09/17/gal_cheer_smallville_kristin-kreuk.jpg
So for this week, I was charged with the task of finding for them a worthy adversary from their rival universe, DC. And that's what I did. Because I'm the taskMaster. Not to be confused with the Taskmaster- he's a Marvel super-villian.
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| And you know what makes me a super-villain? Presentation! |
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| Quarterback- Superman 6'3", 235 lbs |
- Faster than a speeding bullet. That's pretty fast- but how fast is it exactly? Let's figure this out. One of the fastest guns I could find Internet information on is from the .220 Swift, which has a muzzle velocity of over 4,000 feet per second. Using a simple formula I also found in cyberspace, (B*3600)/5280, where B=bullet speed in feet/second, 3,600=number of seconds in an hour, and 5,280=number of feet in a mile, that comes out to about 2,727 miles per hour (mph). When you figure that most police officers will give you cushion of about 10 mph, you are looking at a speeding bullet going around 2,740 mph. And Superman is faster!
- More powerful than a locomotive. Fact: Locomotives are now commonly referred to as "trains". That's pretty strong. Combined with his amazing speed, trying to tackle Superman would probably be like trying to tackle a semi-truck that was traveling at the speed of light. Or a train traveling at the speed of a bullet. Either way- Superman is more powerful!
- Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I don't know if that will help him on a football field, but it sure will help him out at the combine.
Besides- weren't those dreamy eyes made to scan defenses and read coverages?
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| How can I be expected to tackle you, Superman- you are just too beautiful! |
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| Runningback- Sinestro 6'7", 205 lbs |
So when assembling the DC roster, I eschewed the normal attributes for a RB, and thought- What if the RB could literally inspire fear in the defense? What if he actually drew his power from the fear of each and every living creature across the known universe- and he could harness that fear as light energy through a special piece of jewelry? Thus Sinestro became a part of the team. I'm sure athletically he'll be fine (even though with those proportions I'm worried about the Hulk snapping him like a toothpick), but his ability to strike literal fear into the defense will go a long way in covering up any sort of deficiency in his abilities. Besides, this is really Superman's show. The other players are just there to make him look good. Not that it is a difficult thing to do.
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| (Faints) |
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| Fullback- Kilowog 7'8", 720 lbs |
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| Wide receiver- Flash 6', 195 lbs |
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| Wide receiver- Aquaman 6'1, 325 lbs |
Because I wanted to be a little more creative than that. And what's more creative than putting an Atlantean sea-dweller who has a prosthetic left hand that is usually a sword into a land-based game at a position that usually requires two hands? That's pretty freaking creative, eh? Besides, on this team Aquaman is a glorified third tackles. I mean, look at who our QB is. Seriously, look at him.
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| Lock eyes, from across the room... |
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| Tight end- Amazo 8'5", 385 lbs |
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| Tackle- Swamp Thing Variable height, weight |
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| Guard- Clayface 5'11", 180 lbs (variable with mass) |
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| Center- Big Barda 7'0", 197 lbs |
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| Guard- Beast Boy 5'8", 150 lbs (variable) |
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| Uh, okay Manute- you see that big, angry, 1400 lbs green guy over there? On the next play, you block him. |
I know, I know- I'm brilliant. You don't have to wait, you can tell me now.
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| Tackle- Alloy Unknown |
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| Kicker/Punter- Green Arrow 6'2", 195 lbs |
Kick/punt returns- Superman and Flash. Again with the obvious.
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| Head coach- Batman |
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| Offensive coordinator- Lex Luthor |
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| Trust me Clark- stay away from women. They come from strange planets and will sap you of your strength. |
Non-comicvine PICS- Clark (football)-http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8z7ucfHOo1qb2sdzo1_500.jpg
Clark- http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/1/12780/640067-tom_welling_super.jpg
Clark 2- https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHg5jgWTo-_emJ_RmBnbF6Lzea78VTSl6GKyHixhmmG9NIfa9WWnJK85CDsIOL1DFy96V8LQby2TjmCP7obVcEgXKhisyUQhDO1yfh6sK_awubZWLldk3XQZOVjjqw9Q6MVLiwqW2Lye8/s1600/tom-welling+(1).jpg
Manute Bol- http://socialightent.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/061910-manute-bol-gallery-sw-9_20100619150512_600_400.jpg
Lana Lang- http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2009/09/17/gal_cheer_smallville_kristin-kreuk.jpg
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
For those who want their entertainment to be a little bit more
I just got reading Identity Crisis. It's a comic book. I'm 30 years old. Maybe that's not how I should start off a blog post.
Identity Crisis is (in my opinion) one of those transcendent pieces of pop-culture art. Often times, we indulge in the entertainment industry because we want to get away from the "real world". But other times, I want my entertainment to make me think. While I'm all about being swept away to Middle Earth, I also like to be taken to El Paso, Texas or Alexandria, Virginia. I don't just want my main characters to use light sabres- I want them to wrestle with whether or not they should have an abortion.
It's true that movies like 'Glory Road' or 'Remember the Titans' take serious liberties and straddle the line between art and life (for example, if you read about the actual team 'Remember the Titans' is based on, you'd think that the movie wasn't based on a true story at all). But still- these movies deal with aspects of our humanity in a way that empowers us to look past our shortcomings. They help us to see the potential that mankind has and to aspire to that level of greatness.
I feel the same way about other forms of entertainment- music, real books, and yes, comic books.
For me, I'm definitely much more into music that makes me think- I've never been a huge fan of pop music (at least lyrically, but I'll admit that I'm very easy to seduce with a catchy hook and a bumpin' chorus). It's one of the reasons I like Project 86 so much- their lyrics aren't just rehashed cliche's- they make you put your thinking cap on, while simultaneously making you violently move your body in such a way that your thinking cap will probably go flying off of your head.
Books? Well, at this point in my life I don't get much chance to read for entertainment, which is one of the reasons (my love of super hero culture being the biggie) that I gravitate towards comics books. At 30 years old. And no, I do not (nor have I ever) lived in my parent's basement. Probably because we didn't have a basement.
I love the intermingling of the word and of the visual in comic books. I love the fact that there are a finite number of characters, which means that I can become more attached to them than I could with a movie character. Aragorn is amazing...but you get him for, what, three books? I can read about Green Lantern over. And over. And over. I love the evolution of the characters. I love the diversity of the stories.
And while there will always be a place in my heart for shape shifting alien races infiltrating super hero teams in order to take over the world, or power rings that reanimate the dead in order to feed off of the living...I'm finding that more and more, I gravitate towards stories that make me think. For me, comics can be perfect mix of entertainment and contemplation. It's not too dense (thanks to the speech bubbles). The artwork not only soothes my ADHD tendencies, but can also convey parts of the story that the words don't always tell. Comic books are like a ninja of the mind. You think you're reading this goofy story and then all of a sudden BAM you've been Jackie Chan'd across the face with the dangers of big government.
Comics have a history of addressing social issues through unconventional means. The X-men provide a social commentary on many things, such as racism and diversity. A generation of young boys learned their morals from Superman. Spider-man taught us much about having responsibility for power at various levels.
With all that said, here is a list of 5 comics (all of them conveniently in graphic novel form, so I don't feel like such a geek- I mean, they're not comics, they're novels, right?) that I feel tackle deeper issues than keeping our convenience stores safe from masked shoplifters.
I suppose I should probably notify you of potential spoiler alerts. SPOILERS. There, you've been notified.
1) Kingdom Come (1996)- The first graphic novel that I ever read, and one that definitely planted the seed so to speak. Obviously the first thing that will jump out at you is the artwork. I really like Alex Ross' work- it feels more like a series of paintings than a comic book (and really, this statement shows my ignorance of art, because he probably does paint them). Read about the plot here.
It largely involves the implications of the actions of the superhero community, although it's not a stretch to apply some of the principles to our own reality. For example, should due process apply to all people? Or should certain offenders be "dealt with"? And what would be the far reaching influences of affording that sort of life/death power outside of the boundaries of the legal system?
2) Watchmen (1986)- I'm not even going to post a Wikipedia link to this one. If you haven't read it, or don't know what it's about, then you need to go out and get a copy. NOW. I'm not saying it's the best book you'll ever read, but I think that it has had enough of an impact to at least try it for yourself. You can buy your own copy here, unless you want to buy it/borrow it from somewhere else that I didn't link to.
Golly, what doesn't this book deal with? It deals with the accountability (or lack thereof) of political power. You get some interesting thoughts on extremism, nihilism and quantum physics. There is rape and redemption. Cold war tension. You confront the morality of sacrificing few for the good of the many. There are just so many nuggets in this book- and that is not even getting into how the book itself, as an art form, is constructed. Is it dark? Yes. Does it make you think? Yes. Is it awesome? See for yourself.
3) V for Vendetta (1982)- I would actually suggest reading about this here instead of actually reading it. Not that the book itself is bad- it was just hard to follow. There were so many characters, and the artwork made it really difficult to distinguish large chunks of the action. Probably about midway through, I gave up on trying to follow anyone except V and Evey.
Again, though, there are interesting thoughts and ideas presented here. I don't think it's any coincidence that Alan Moore has two works on this list (although to be fair, this is pretty much the extent of these types of graphic novels that I've read).
Anarchism. Fascism. Xenophobia. Totalitarianism. These are just a few of the big words that you will confront on the pages of V for Vendetta.
4) Identity Crisis (2004)- I should probably point out here that I did not make a "Top 5 list". I just wrote these down in random order. If this was a ranking list, this would be higher. I love this book- the art, the story, the way it's delivered- you actually feel like this is a real life community, and everybody is interconnected in some way.
This story brings to the forefront (again) whether certain actions are acceptable to maintain the greater good. It makes you ask 'how far would I go to protect my family'? It shows how a group of superheroes answers this question, and how these superheroes wrestle with the implications of their actions.
5) Red Son Superman (2003)- This is actually the most different book on this list (and honestly the rightful #5 in an arbitrary rankings system), because it doesn't deal as much with morality in a vacuum- it deals with how our environment plays an influential role in the shaping of our morals.
While I didn't necessarily get into this story (to be fair, I've only read it once), I have to admit that the idea of Superman being raised in Soviet Russia is very, very intriguing. Think about it- how different would you be if any one aspect of your life were changed? What if you were born in a different city? What if you had both parents (or only one parent)? What if you were born just up the road from a Jewish synagogue and not a church? What if you were born in a different country, a different time period? No siblings? Rich- or poor?
I would highly recommend any of these, because I am a big advocate of exposing yourself to different cultures, different lines of thinking- if we are too homogonous, we don't grow. You have to step outside of your safety net, and what makes you comfortable, and stretch yourself in order to truly reach the heights that you were made to reach. And if you get color pictures and speech bubbles along the way? Well, that's just a bonus.
Identity Crisis is (in my opinion) one of those transcendent pieces of pop-culture art. Often times, we indulge in the entertainment industry because we want to get away from the "real world". But other times, I want my entertainment to make me think. While I'm all about being swept away to Middle Earth, I also like to be taken to El Paso, Texas or Alexandria, Virginia. I don't just want my main characters to use light sabres- I want them to wrestle with whether or not they should have an abortion.
It's true that movies like 'Glory Road' or 'Remember the Titans' take serious liberties and straddle the line between art and life (for example, if you read about the actual team 'Remember the Titans' is based on, you'd think that the movie wasn't based on a true story at all). But still- these movies deal with aspects of our humanity in a way that empowers us to look past our shortcomings. They help us to see the potential that mankind has and to aspire to that level of greatness.
I feel the same way about other forms of entertainment- music, real books, and yes, comic books.
For me, I'm definitely much more into music that makes me think- I've never been a huge fan of pop music (at least lyrically, but I'll admit that I'm very easy to seduce with a catchy hook and a bumpin' chorus). It's one of the reasons I like Project 86 so much- their lyrics aren't just rehashed cliche's- they make you put your thinking cap on, while simultaneously making you violently move your body in such a way that your thinking cap will probably go flying off of your head.
Books? Well, at this point in my life I don't get much chance to read for entertainment, which is one of the reasons (my love of super hero culture being the biggie) that I gravitate towards comics books. At 30 years old. And no, I do not (nor have I ever) lived in my parent's basement. Probably because we didn't have a basement.
I love the intermingling of the word and of the visual in comic books. I love the fact that there are a finite number of characters, which means that I can become more attached to them than I could with a movie character. Aragorn is amazing...but you get him for, what, three books? I can read about Green Lantern over. And over. And over. I love the evolution of the characters. I love the diversity of the stories.
And while there will always be a place in my heart for shape shifting alien races infiltrating super hero teams in order to take over the world, or power rings that reanimate the dead in order to feed off of the living...I'm finding that more and more, I gravitate towards stories that make me think. For me, comics can be perfect mix of entertainment and contemplation. It's not too dense (thanks to the speech bubbles). The artwork not only soothes my ADHD tendencies, but can also convey parts of the story that the words don't always tell. Comic books are like a ninja of the mind. You think you're reading this goofy story and then all of a sudden BAM you've been Jackie Chan'd across the face with the dangers of big government.
Comics have a history of addressing social issues through unconventional means. The X-men provide a social commentary on many things, such as racism and diversity. A generation of young boys learned their morals from Superman. Spider-man taught us much about having responsibility for power at various levels.
With all that said, here is a list of 5 comics (all of them conveniently in graphic novel form, so I don't feel like such a geek- I mean, they're not comics, they're novels, right?) that I feel tackle deeper issues than keeping our convenience stores safe from masked shoplifters.
I suppose I should probably notify you of potential spoiler alerts. SPOILERS. There, you've been notified.
1) Kingdom Come (1996)- The first graphic novel that I ever read, and one that definitely planted the seed so to speak. Obviously the first thing that will jump out at you is the artwork. I really like Alex Ross' work- it feels more like a series of paintings than a comic book (and really, this statement shows my ignorance of art, because he probably does paint them). Read about the plot here.
It largely involves the implications of the actions of the superhero community, although it's not a stretch to apply some of the principles to our own reality. For example, should due process apply to all people? Or should certain offenders be "dealt with"? And what would be the far reaching influences of affording that sort of life/death power outside of the boundaries of the legal system?
2) Watchmen (1986)- I'm not even going to post a Wikipedia link to this one. If you haven't read it, or don't know what it's about, then you need to go out and get a copy. NOW. I'm not saying it's the best book you'll ever read, but I think that it has had enough of an impact to at least try it for yourself. You can buy your own copy here, unless you want to buy it/borrow it from somewhere else that I didn't link to.
Golly, what doesn't this book deal with? It deals with the accountability (or lack thereof) of political power. You get some interesting thoughts on extremism, nihilism and quantum physics. There is rape and redemption. Cold war tension. You confront the morality of sacrificing few for the good of the many. There are just so many nuggets in this book- and that is not even getting into how the book itself, as an art form, is constructed. Is it dark? Yes. Does it make you think? Yes. Is it awesome? See for yourself.
3) V for Vendetta (1982)- I would actually suggest reading about this here instead of actually reading it. Not that the book itself is bad- it was just hard to follow. There were so many characters, and the artwork made it really difficult to distinguish large chunks of the action. Probably about midway through, I gave up on trying to follow anyone except V and Evey.
Again, though, there are interesting thoughts and ideas presented here. I don't think it's any coincidence that Alan Moore has two works on this list (although to be fair, this is pretty much the extent of these types of graphic novels that I've read).
Anarchism. Fascism. Xenophobia. Totalitarianism. These are just a few of the big words that you will confront on the pages of V for Vendetta.
4) Identity Crisis (2004)- I should probably point out here that I did not make a "Top 5 list". I just wrote these down in random order. If this was a ranking list, this would be higher. I love this book- the art, the story, the way it's delivered- you actually feel like this is a real life community, and everybody is interconnected in some way.
This story brings to the forefront (again) whether certain actions are acceptable to maintain the greater good. It makes you ask 'how far would I go to protect my family'? It shows how a group of superheroes answers this question, and how these superheroes wrestle with the implications of their actions.
5) Red Son Superman (2003)- This is actually the most different book on this list (and honestly the rightful #5 in an arbitrary rankings system), because it doesn't deal as much with morality in a vacuum- it deals with how our environment plays an influential role in the shaping of our morals.
While I didn't necessarily get into this story (to be fair, I've only read it once), I have to admit that the idea of Superman being raised in Soviet Russia is very, very intriguing. Think about it- how different would you be if any one aspect of your life were changed? What if you were born in a different city? What if you had both parents (or only one parent)? What if you were born just up the road from a Jewish synagogue and not a church? What if you were born in a different country, a different time period? No siblings? Rich- or poor?
I would highly recommend any of these, because I am a big advocate of exposing yourself to different cultures, different lines of thinking- if we are too homogonous, we don't grow. You have to step outside of your safety net, and what makes you comfortable, and stretch yourself in order to truly reach the heights that you were made to reach. And if you get color pictures and speech bubbles along the way? Well, that's just a bonus.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The avatar of capitalist conservative heteronormative patriarchal Brito-America...or you probably know him as Superman
I was studying tonight and...well, who am I kidding. I was sort of studying, but also catching up on my HCRealms reading. For those of you who don't know, HCRealms is a forum where people who play Heroclix get together on-line and talk about Heroclix. Is it nerdy? Yes. Do I love it? YES.
There was a thread about Superman, and I came across this quote from one of the members of HCRealms about the Big Blue Boy Scout: he's "the avatar of capitalist conservative heteronormative patriarchal Brito-America".
And of course I'm up at 2:30 in the morning writing about this, because A) the kids have been trying to shake off this dang cold, and so obviously they were up coughing and woke me up, and B) I love the idea behind this quote.
I guess what I love is these terms- Capitalist. Conservative. Heteronormative. Patriarchal. They get my mind racing. When I went back to school, the very first class I took at Northern was a sociology class, and I haven't looked at things the same way since.
In social work, we talk about systems theory, and how everyone is immersed in multiple systems at multiple (macro/mezzo/micro) levels, and how these systems interact together to make us into the people that we are.
It got me thinking about something that I frequently chew on, and that is the idea of human beings as social beings...some say social animals. Whatever the case, we were born to be social.
And that means that there has to be a social order. Think of a wolf pack- from the Alpha to the Omega, there are norms that they follow in order to keep things humming along, like a fine tuned machine. Without order, it's just a bunch of dogs, running around, hoping to stumble on some scraps or a sick animal. Together, they can take down a moose.
Do some live as "lone wolves"? Yes. But their existence is not nearly what it could be. They might be stronger and more dangerous- but they'll never really be all that they could be.
Every society, every culture on our planet has some sort of "system" in place. Obviously the USA looks much much much different than say, a tribe of Amazons. But in many ways, they are not so different- there is hierarchy, there is some division of labor, there are rules, there are customs, there are ceremonies- and without these things, I'm honestly not sure how we as people would function in society.
I'm sure we all get mad at the system every once in a while, and we want to fight the system, to overthrow the system...but what is going to happen is that another system is just going to be put into place. It might not be called a "system"...and it might not even conventionally (or explicitly) look like a system. But trust me- it will be a system.
You know, several years ago, the idea of relativism was brought into my head, and rejected out of hand. Years later, while I still reject the idea in it's purest form, it has helped me to reframe the human experience. See, it's so easy to think that the way we do things is the right way, and to instantly look at the way another society runs and to judge it as "wrong".
But what is right? What is wrong? Can these concepts really, legitimately be made across cultural contexts? Look at Native Americans. European settlers and missionaries came over to this country so eager to quash a way of life and replace it with a "superior" one. How has that turned out? From your point of view, it's "savage". It's "barbaric". For them, it's "life". It's "survival". Who are we to be the judge of mankind?
So what can we deduce from all this? Hopefully something. Honestly, at this hour, I'm not sure I'm doing much more than emptying my brain so that (hopefully) I can get some sleep. I know that there is much more about these ideas that could be said. I hope that there is some interesting food for thought. At the very least, I'm tired enough to go to bed. If that's all this article has accomplished, then it is worth it.
In completely unrelated news, just a week and a half before my last undergrad Spring Break ever! I have several blog ideas on the burner...I know I say that all the time and then never come through. But I'm motivated and inspired and by the time the ides of March have come, you'll have no idea what hit you! Until next time, God bless!
PIC: http://www.worldofwallpapers.nuche.org/content/animal/canines/1024/pack-of-wolves-wolf-pack-wild-dogs-wallpaper.jpg
QUOTE: http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4554348#post4554348
There was a thread about Superman, and I came across this quote from one of the members of HCRealms about the Big Blue Boy Scout: he's "the avatar of capitalist conservative heteronormative patriarchal Brito-America".
And of course I'm up at 2:30 in the morning writing about this, because A) the kids have been trying to shake off this dang cold, and so obviously they were up coughing and woke me up, and B) I love the idea behind this quote.
I guess what I love is these terms- Capitalist. Conservative. Heteronormative. Patriarchal. They get my mind racing. When I went back to school, the very first class I took at Northern was a sociology class, and I haven't looked at things the same way since.
In social work, we talk about systems theory, and how everyone is immersed in multiple systems at multiple (macro/mezzo/micro) levels, and how these systems interact together to make us into the people that we are.
It got me thinking about something that I frequently chew on, and that is the idea of human beings as social beings...some say social animals. Whatever the case, we were born to be social.
And that means that there has to be a social order. Think of a wolf pack- from the Alpha to the Omega, there are norms that they follow in order to keep things humming along, like a fine tuned machine. Without order, it's just a bunch of dogs, running around, hoping to stumble on some scraps or a sick animal. Together, they can take down a moose.
Do some live as "lone wolves"? Yes. But their existence is not nearly what it could be. They might be stronger and more dangerous- but they'll never really be all that they could be.
Every society, every culture on our planet has some sort of "system" in place. Obviously the USA looks much much much different than say, a tribe of Amazons. But in many ways, they are not so different- there is hierarchy, there is some division of labor, there are rules, there are customs, there are ceremonies- and without these things, I'm honestly not sure how we as people would function in society.
I'm sure we all get mad at the system every once in a while, and we want to fight the system, to overthrow the system...but what is going to happen is that another system is just going to be put into place. It might not be called a "system"...and it might not even conventionally (or explicitly) look like a system. But trust me- it will be a system.
You know, several years ago, the idea of relativism was brought into my head, and rejected out of hand. Years later, while I still reject the idea in it's purest form, it has helped me to reframe the human experience. See, it's so easy to think that the way we do things is the right way, and to instantly look at the way another society runs and to judge it as "wrong".
But what is right? What is wrong? Can these concepts really, legitimately be made across cultural contexts? Look at Native Americans. European settlers and missionaries came over to this country so eager to quash a way of life and replace it with a "superior" one. How has that turned out? From your point of view, it's "savage". It's "barbaric". For them, it's "life". It's "survival". Who are we to be the judge of mankind?
So what can we deduce from all this? Hopefully something. Honestly, at this hour, I'm not sure I'm doing much more than emptying my brain so that (hopefully) I can get some sleep. I know that there is much more about these ideas that could be said. I hope that there is some interesting food for thought. At the very least, I'm tired enough to go to bed. If that's all this article has accomplished, then it is worth it.
In completely unrelated news, just a week and a half before my last undergrad Spring Break ever! I have several blog ideas on the burner...I know I say that all the time and then never come through. But I'm motivated and inspired and by the time the ides of March have come, you'll have no idea what hit you! Until next time, God bless!
PIC: http://www.worldofwallpapers.nuche.org/content/animal/canines/1024/pack-of-wolves-wolf-pack-wild-dogs-wallpaper.jpg
QUOTE: http://www.hcrealms.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4554348#post4554348
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