Round 8
Didn't get: Stephen Gostkowski, K- Okay, if Stephen Gostkowski comes back and scores 20 points per game, I'll bite my tongue, grovel on over to the Patriots practice facility, and wash his feet with the tears of my sorrow. Otherwise, I pass on kickers in the 8th round so I can draft guys like...
Mark Ingram, RB Although this wasn't a guy I really wanted to get (and I had originally planned on getting a D or a TE here), my hand was forced by the lack of appealing depth at the RB position. Besides, I felt I could get a TE/Def of value with my next couple of picks. No way this comes back to bite me.
Could have had: Ravens D- Not only does it come back to bite me, but it bites me right on my most tender, vulnerable parts. I really REALLY wanted the Ravens D. I gush about Jordy Nelson and Jimmy and the Gronk, but the Ravens were the second leading scorer for my team last year and a very integral part of the success that
Round 9
Didn't get: Ryan Williams, RB- After going the whole draft not really wanting to draft anyone (and getting them anyways), I have back to back picks missing out on targeted players. I really wanted Williams- I have a good feeling about him, tough runner and playing behind Beanie Wells. Who, as you may remember from last year, is a human get-hurt machine. I respond to the disappointment by deftly drafting...
Jared Cook, TE- Pay attention class, because you may have just heard the first and last times that you hear someone use "deftly drafting" and "Jared Cook" together in a sentence ever again. Sure, he's a mega-talented potential sleeper guy- and we all know those guys always pan out. I justify this pick by my need for depth. Depth is the word you keep telling myself after you draft another guy that A) you haven't heard of and B) you aren't very excited about.
Could have had: LeGarrette Blount, RB- After the debacle that was the 2011 Tampa Bay Buccaneers offense, I suppose I can forgive myself for not taking a flyer on their up-and-down RB. I just hope LeGarrette doesn't catch wind of this and punch me in the face.
Round 10
Didn't get: RGIII, QB- Another bummer. Obviously I didn't need a QB. I already have Brady and then I went ahead and drafted Rivers. But after Newtongate last year, you better believe I was in 'Buy low/sell high' mode here. Having missed out on the opportunity to draft another multi-talented rookie QB, I decided to drown my sorrows by drafting...
Eagles D Which actually makes me feel more depressed. I think these guys will get lots of sacks here, and DeSean Jackson is still returning kicks/punts I'm assuming...and instead of drowning my sorrows, I'm sitting next to them at the bar and picking up their tab.
Could have had: Mason Crosby, K- With all due respect to the person that drafted a kicker here, this pick perfectly represents why we're headed to a Fantasy Football lockout. The owners can't help themselves. Crosby will have a good season- but will he be that much better than any other kicker? I'm willing to take wager that he's not.
Round 11
Didn't get: Jon Baldwin, WR- Look, Baldwin is one of those guys with Atlas-level potential and world-class measurables. He's probably a very fine sleeper pick with the potential to be a star. But don't you see the conflict of interest here? He plays on the same team that Dwayne Bowe does. Dwayne Bowe. Dwayne and I spent the entire 2011 season apart, and while I welcomed him home with open arms, I have to admit that there's still some trust issues that need to be resolved. I can't just take another Kansas City receiver six rounds after Dwayne- it'd be devastating to him, which (more importantly) would be devastating to our team (and thus devastating to me, which is what it's really all about). So good luck, Jon Baldwin (just not at the expense of NORTH Michigan's favorite son). And even more conditional good luck to my 11th round pick...
Steelers D-I try not to think about what might have been. See, we did our draft with the usual 16 rounds- but our teams only have 15 roster spots. That means, for the first time ever, owners across the Center League had to make cuts. Real cuts, not just the "You suck so I'm gonna find someone better" cuts- cuts that make dudes have to go out and apply for unemployment or sign up for Michigan works. Or, in my case, like 20-30 dudes, since I cut an entire defense worth of dudes. I'm not sure who I should apologize to first- the guys I had to cut, or the taxpayers that are going to be bearing a disproportionate burden for these suddenly-unemployed millionaires.
Could have had: Toby Gerhart, RB- I have been reading some Matthew Berry articles over the past couple of weeks- I've read his stuff before and enjoyed it, but I'm really digging on him this year (mostly because he is so high on guys that I drafted)- but I wish I would have read his 2012 draft manifesto before our draft, because he hammered home the importance of having lots and lots of running backs (something about how being a high scoring position with increased likelihood of lower picks striking big). In that light, Gerhart here (who probably has a couple of weeks of being "The Man" in Minnesota while Adrian Peterson gets healthier) would have been a better pick than the castoffs I decided to go with. I guess I just let everybody down.
Round 12
Didn't get: Brent Celek, TE- "Well, my season is shot. I didn't land Brent Celek in the draft"- Said nobody, ever.
Greg Little, WR- It only took about 12 rounds, but I was finally able to draft someone in a round where I felt I should be drafting them (obviously not counting Dwayne Bowe here). The latest champion of the Big Man On Crap-pus Draft (BMOC) Philosophy that I am currently swearing by- I'll be honest, I've never heard of this guy (probably because he plays for Cleveland), but the Experts tell me he's their best player. Whatever that means.
Could have had: Jacquizz Rodgers, RB- A nice little sleeper back, but every time I say his name I have to rinse my mouth out. NOTE: Probably don't watch the video around children.
Round 13
Didn't get: Davone Bess, WR- Another disappointed miss, Bess is on the fast track to the BMOC All-Stars as well. The only consolation that I had about missing out on this guy was that I was able to draft...
Randy Moss, WR- Before there was Dwayne, there was Randy. Randy and I didn't have anything nearly as special as Dwayne and I, but Randy was the first bonafide superstar that I had on my roster, and the first guy I was heartbroken to get rid of. I'm sure he's just a shell of himself now, but if he has anything left in the tank, anything at all- we could be fifteen minutes away from magic time.
Could have had: Bills D- I know, I know. Yawn, right? Well, apparently the fantasy football TV talking head guys on the NFL Network's fantasy show are really high on these guys (at least for week 1, anyways). I've said this before, and I'll say it again- isn't it a conflict of interest for the NFL to have people talking about the players fantasy prospects? It's like if life was like a fantasy sporting event, and you could draft a fantasy "family" (actually this idea is sort of intriguing to me). Now imagine that I was on a TV show about that league and people were asking whether they should draft my wife and I said "Well, Sara is guaranteed to give you four to five Hot Meals/week (6 points per) but can be very Nagging (-3 points) and Cold/Emotionally Distant (-5 points), so I wouldn't draft her before the 12th round". IMMEDIATE NOTE: Sara is not those things, I'm just using them for the purpose of illustration. What was I trying to illustrate again? Oh yeah, that's right: I don't really mind not getting the Bills D.
Round 14
Didn't get: Garrett Hartley, K- Any other year, I would have bemoaned the lost opportunity to draft a Saints kicker. I don't have any actual stats, but I'm pretty sure if you're a kicker on a Drew Brees team, you're fantasy gold. But with all the turmoil around the Saints this year, and all of the coaching turnover (seriously- when has a team ever had to get an interim coach to fill in for their interim coach), I'm not 100% sold on New Orleans. However, I am drinking up all of the Bears Kool-aid I can get my stubby little mitts on. Hence my final round drafting of....
Robbie Gould, K- All the smart guys say this, so I'm saying it now too. Oh crap. I forgot what they're saying. Kickers. It's something about kickers. And little consistency year-to-year...oh, and always available. Unreliable. That was another word. Still, I think the Bears attack is going to be pretty potent this year, and Gould stands in good position to get some serious points. But really, he's a kicker and his name isn't Nick Folk, so we're good. And yes, to my repeat readers, I'm going to stick with that Nick Folk joke again. Probably next year too. Actually I have it leased until 2017. So about five more years of the Nick Folk joke.
Could have had: Daniel Thomas, RB- On one hand, he's a RB whose name I've heard of being drafted in a round where most of us are grabbing K. This pick has mega-steal written all over it. On the other hand, he plays for the Dolphins....
Yeah, I think I'm glad I passed.
So that's my draft recap (finally). The season starts today, and the Snow Flurries are ready to defend our league best record and second-round exit. In the words of The Rock, Bring It!
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