First half report- My Fantasy Football Team (lame, I know...but aren't you even a little intrigued?)

Before I start this, you should know (if you don't already) that I have a serious case of the love-hate relationship with Fantasy Football. It's probably not a healthy thing. The fact that I am writing a detailed blog about my Fantasy Football team (and not for the first time) is probably a good indicator of the depth of my obsession. I spend every Sunday in agony at my latest misplay, every Monday morning lamenting my participation in this masochistic pursuit- and yet, the idea of walking away is basically a non-option.

I think there are some good things that come out of Fantasy Football. I think there is a lot of bad things that come out of Fantasy Football. I suppose that I have a chance to learn how to serenity to accept the things I can change, the courage to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.

And what of the situations where things I can change and cannot change go to the crapper? Common Sense, which I have some control over, has betrayed me, and The Experts, who I am basically a slave to, are just as clueless as I am about the NFL.

See, Common Sense is just about the only friend that a Fantasy Football player has (aside from the Experts). As amazing as the information age is, we're not privy to everything. We don't get to watch all the practices. We don't get entry into the pain receptors of each athlete to know how hurt they really are. So all we can do is look at each match-up and use our Common Sense to determine who is most likely to score the most points. And when our Common Sense doesn't lean either way, we call upon The Experts to give us a little nudge in the right direction.

When your Common Sense and The Experts are wrong? Then you are effed.

Look, I know there are things I can't control. Ryan Grant gets hurt in the 2nd quarter of game 1? Hey, I can't do anything about that. Jermichael Finley gets hurt on the 2nd play of a recent game? Jesus, please heal him, and stat...unless they put him on injured reserve, and then it can probably wait. But Fantasy Football is all about this control-illusion, and the things you think you control actually rely very heavily on things that you have no control over- and it doesn't matter how much wisdom you acquire when you lose the game because you started the wrong RB.

I wish that I could tell you that I have some sort of new revelation about how to approach Fantasy Football. That I've unlocked the Holy Grail that no longer requires Common Sense or The Experts. But I haven't. I'm still just as clueless as I was before.

And yet, I am not without hope. My Snow Flurries have (pardon the pun) weathered the storm, endured an 0-4 start, and are currently on a 3 game winning streak. I'm one bad play away from being 4-3, so I feel pretty good about my team (of course, this comes at a price- when I was 0-4, I was enjoying the Fantasy Football experience much more than I am now that I am on a winning streak). We're healthy, we're talented...and we lost another key player to a long-term injury. I have absolutely no idea how the second half of the season is going to go.

For now, I just want to summarize the first half. I wanted to wait until season was over and do it like that (a la the first year), but I figured this way it'd be more fresh- this pain, these emotions, this bleeding heart of mine- and it would give me a therapeutic outlet heading into the second half.

Here's how I done so far:

Week 1- Opening week. Divisional match. Against my brother. What a way to set the tone for the Snow Flurries triumphant march towards the title. Oops- a loss. 97-71, I fall to Team Doomsday. And Ryan Grant falls onto the IR list. And my season falls apart (or not...I suppose it's still on life support-or able to eat some Jell-o).
What went right- I had some solid performances- Tony Romo (17 points) and Ronnie Brown (14 points) each put up double digits, as did Mohammed Massaquoi (10 points), Darren McFadden (20 points) and the Bears D (23 points).
What went wrong- The last three names on that list were all on my bench. Basically I left 53 points on the bench. But that wasn't the worst part-the real stinger is that Ryan Grant, my top draft choice, was injured for the season. The only saving grace for this week was that Calvin Johnson dropped the winning TD against the Bears and Josh left Hakeem Nicks (25 points) on the bench in place of Roy Williams (2 points). And by 'saving grace', I literally mean grace- because I could have lost by much more than I did. Thanks bro- much love!
Bonehead move- When you lose by 20+ points, it's hard to think of any move as a "bonehead" move. I should have started the Bears D vs the Lions (I got sucked into the whole "hope" fiasco), and if I would have given McFadden a chance he would have paid off- but honestly, when you lose your top RB for the season less than 2 quarters into the first game, you can't expect too much. Right?

Week 2- The Snow Flurries, still reeling from the tragic death of Ryan Grant, forget to show up in week 2 and lost by 50- Team Fergy providing the 131-81 dismantling.
What went right- My bench outscored his bench 114-70. So suck it Fergy! On a more serious note, I had some super outings from my RBs- McFadden had 15 points, and Jason Snelling, subbing for an injured Michael Turner, exploded for 36 points.
What went wrong- When I say "subbing for an injured Michael Turner", it's a literary device I am using to purposefully mislead you. What I'm neglecting to mention is that Turner got hurt in the 2nd quarter (hmmm...must remember to pray more during the 2nd quarter), after I had already started him. So all those points that Snelling scored were useless for me, except for puffing up my bench (which at this point would be 2-0 and has outscored my starting line-up both games). Also, my starting receivers racked up a grand total of 7 points (which was less than every single player on Fergy's team except one guy- who had 7 points of his own). Suck it Snow Flurries!
Bonehead move- Surprisingly- none! Snellings outburst came after an unforeseen injury, so I made the logical (read: Common Sense) play, most of my bench points came from D's and QB's, and none of them could have been started with any noticeable effect on the final score. I could have started Dustin Keller (18 points) at TE over Finley (11 points)...but again, the gain would have been minimal.

Week 3- This is where my friends Common Sense and The Experts must have had some sort of secret Illuminatiesque conference and decided that they were going to screw me. That's the only logical explanation I have for dropping a 127-118 heartbreaker to Team War Machine.
What went right- My team dedicates the remainder of the season to the memory of Ryan Grant (I don't have the heart to tell them that he's really just hurt) and comes out with guns blazing. I have 7 double digit point getters, and Turner and McFadden combine for 37 points. War Machine starts Matt Forte (3 points) and the other Steve Smith (2 points) in place of Brandon Lloyd (23 points) and Jeremy Maclin (20 points). The stars are lining up in my favor.
What went wrong- It's hard to get too down on oneself for making misplays- because the other guy can often make them as well. The thing is that in Fantasy Football, you depend on your opponent making stupid moves while you are busy being brilliant. So while War Machine made a couple plays that benefited me, I saw what he was doing and decided to raise him. Because of "Common Sense", I decided to start the Ravens D against the Cleveland Browns instead of the Bears D against the Packers. Can you tell me if there is a universe where a real life coach would have rather played against the Packers instead of the Browns? Well apparently there is- and it's the Fantasy universe, because the Bears D scored 36 points while the Ravens tallied 14. I was beside myself- how can I continue to live in a world where crappy offenses give my Fantasy defenses more trouble than great offenses? But that's okay, because newly acquired Anquan Boldin registered 33 points at...wait- what's that? I sat him? Why did I sit him? Oh yeah- Because the ESPN Fantasy Forecasters predicted Tim Hightower would have more points than he did. And Hightower did have more points than Boldin did-negative 29 more points to be exact.
Bonehead move- Listening to others instead of taking control of my team and running it my way. I swore then and there to never let another man dictate my Fantasy Football decisions. Obviously that lasted about all of 4 weeks.

Week 4- My team is on the ropes- and Team Bullies delivers the knock-out blow in a 105-82 defeat, knocking us to 0-4.
What went right- Chad Henne threw 3 interceptions. His real team lost 41-14. And I was happy as heck to have him at QB this week. With Romo on a bye week, I needed a fill-in starter. and 19 points was an extremely serviceable outing from the young gunslinger.
What went wrong- McFadden hurts his hamstring in the 4th quarter. I'm having flashbacks to 2009. The worst part is, though, that there is literally no other roster play that I could have made to win this game. None. Zero. Zilch. I was just flat out defeated by a better team. And sometimes, that stings worse than woulda/coulda/shoulda/
Bonehead move- None- I'm speechless. This is the low point. 0-4...forget the playoffs, let's just win a game. But with my top running back in the after-life, and my new top running back nursing a sore hamstring, and my receivers producing more eggs than a Leghorn chicken. It might be time to throw in the towel.

Week 5- With nothing to lose, and a 4-0 team visiting Marquette, I tell the team that Ryan Grant is actually alive. They seem- relieved! They aren't even bothered by the fact that their coach (many of whom regard me as a father figure) lied to them- they can see that what I did, I did to protect them because I care deeply for them. Armed with a new-found sense of faith in themselves (and more importantly, their coach), the Snow Flurries rally to defeat Team El Diablo 113-92 for their (and more importantly, my) first win of the year.
What went right- Tony Romo and daaaaaa Bears. They combine for 69 points- 69! Also, a special shout out has to go to the KC Chiefs actual defense, which held Peyton Manning to 7 points.
What went wrong- Probably the weirdest win I've ever had. Aside from the aforementioned stinker by Manning, I had 3 players score 0 points. That's right- a full third of my lineup had no points. I literally do no know how that happened. What's even more amazing- there is literally no way that El Diablo could have beat me- his top scoring line-up of the week would have still lost to me by 3. Oh yeah, I lost Jermichael Finley for the season on the second play of his game.
Bonehead move- Peyton Manning scores only 7 points? I win despite 3 players on the NO SOUP FOR YOU column? I'm not going to try and evaluate any sort of decision making- this is obviously just one of those flukes of probability.

Week 6- Another week, another upset victory- this time over Team Moose, 116-99. My team is really starting to buy in. Being the master motivator that I am, I had T-shirts made for my team to wear under their game jerseys.

Really, we're one bad week away from being a .500 team (of course, we're four bad weeks away from being undefeated, and two good weeks away from being winless).
What went right- My former kicker (Lawrence Tynes) was a little tweaked, and it was thought that he might not play (I guess The Experts are not totally daft)- so I dropped him and picked up Sebastian Janikowski, who banged home 10 points for the Snow Flurries. Tony Romo threw 3 scoring passes for the Cowboys, none of them went to Miles Austin. Finally, the Bears D, which was not doing very well at all (against the Seahawks- WTH???) came through in a big way at the end of their game when Devin Hester returned a punt 89 yards for a score that quadrupled their fantasy production.
What went wrong- Well, if I want to get greedy, I could say that I could have played Michael Crabtree instead of Steve Smith and picked up an extra 4 points (11 vs. 7)- but again, because of the NFL schedule (half of Team Moose's bench was on a bye week), there was no possible configuration that my foe could have ran that would have made up the difference.
Bonehead move- None. Maybe I've figured this Fantasy Football thing out. It's possible that I am the Bill Belichick of Fantasy Football.

Week 7- Well it turns out that I am in fact Bill Belichick- only instead of being the nerves-of-steel 3-time Super Bowl champion version, I'm version 1.suck. I spent the 1:00 round of games freaking out because I played the Bears over the Ravens D, and then the 4:00 games tearing hair out because I played Chris Ivory instead of Darren McFadden. I'm still trying to process whether I am happy because I won (130-102 over Team Dennis) or mad because I am an idiot.
What went right- Turner and Bowe each had 20+ points. Steve Smith had 17 for me, and Anquan Boldin had 15. Dennis leaves Percy Harvin (16 points) and Kenny Britt (42 points) on the bench.
What went wrong- Well let's just put this out there right now. Sunday morning, I was checking my roster, and I had this small, tiny voice in my head telling me to put in the Bears D and Darren McFadden. Was it God? I don't know. If God intervenes in Super Bowls, then surely He would give a guy a small Fantasy Football nudge. And of course, if you have a choice between listening to an omnipotent deity or finite Common Sense, you listen to the deity right? But here's the thing. It's the Ravens- playing the Bills. And "The Experts" said that (direct quote) "McFadden should be available if you need him, but it is probably best to use another option if possible".

Dear Lord, I appreciate You providing me some insider information. At this time, I have decided to pursue my own insights into this weeks match-ups. I'm sorry God, but You're trying to tell me that playing the Bears against D-McNabb is better for me than the Ravens versus the Bills? And Ryan Fitzpatrick? Really? Thanks but no thanks.

(I do hope that you will consider giving me future insider tips, because I am not very good at this Fantasy Football thing.)Well, at least I didn't suffer any more injuries. Oh wait. I did. Romo fractured his collarbone during the first half against the Giants. Out for several weeks. Possibly the season.
Bonehead move- Yeah...McFadden had 28 points...in the first half. 44 for the game. I still won- but I wouldn't have had to spend most of Sunday kicking myself in the ass for the big benching. How many times do you have a player score 40+ points in Fantasy Football? Not many. As for the D situation? One advantage of giving up a bunch of points is that you get a bunch of chances to return kicks (and get points in our league), and the Ravens scored 24 points (versus the 29 that the Bears put up with). So it was a wash...NOT.

So four consecutive losses followed by three consecutive victories. Three players lost for the season. We have been down- but not out. And as Ryan Grant lives, so do the Snow Flurries. We shall endure. We may lose every game for the rest of the season, but I will not fail to keep updating my roster. Besides, all is not lost-after all, if the season ended today, I'd be in the playoffs. (At the rate that my players are dropping, I really wish that the season was going to end today).

How will this all play out? Tune in 6 or so weeks to find out how the second half of my season goes! (Or you could just follow my Sunday status updates on Facebook and get a general idea for how I'm doing).

Textbook Tuesday (but on a Thursday): Context

Textbook Tuesday (or Thursday, should I so deem it) is going to be a series on the things that make us who we are as human beings. The premise is that I will be reading textbooks on various sciences (biology, psychology, sociology, etc.) and breaking the information down into bite sized pieces. This week, I will be focusing on content from Chapter 1 of Counseling Diverse Clients by Jeanne M. Slattery.

Each and every person has their own unique story. They have had a series of events that are unique to them, with thoughts and perceptions that are their own. There is a degree of universality (in a sense) because of the shared bonds of language that tie together our understanding of aspects of the world, and yet as human beings we give our own spin to the meaning of words. Even something simple like "tree" can mean something completely different to those of us in the Upper Peninsula than it does to someone in the inner parts of Detroit.

The story of each of our lives can be defined as "context". It's who we are. It's where we live. It's who we hang out with. It's our families. It's our jobs. It's every part of our lives, and how those parts fit together to paint the complete portrait of who each of us is.

I started off with this particular book because of the importance of this concept. I have referred to it before, and I will refer to it again. It is extremely broad- something that I definitely won't tackle fully in this blog, and honestly will not be able to cover it in a million posts- because context is a shapeshifting ambiguity that is constantly changing. Of course, these changes impact each of us in different ways, and how we perceive the changes (both in ourselves and others) influences context as well.

Tying into this idea of change is a concept (I really need to get a thesaurus...I feel like I've used the word concept so much that it has lost its meaning as a word) that the book introduces is called the fundamental attribution error (page 2). According to Slattery, this basically means that "people recognize the external, unstable factors that contribute to their own behavior and attribute their problems to them" (page 2 again). So if we do something dumb, it's because God hates us (not a quote for theological debate, merely a hyperbole) and if someone else does something dumb, it is because they are, in fact, dumb.

Think about the last time that another driver did something stupid while the road. You probably thought all sorts of mean and nasty things about that person- maybe you even let lose with a 'Goll-darn-it!'. You probably didn't, as you did with the last time you did the exact same thing, try to justify their behavior as merely running late, or having to be someone very important...or having a lot on your mind. No, they forgot their turn signal because they are the stupidest driver on the face of the Earth.

That's why the idea of context is such an important one, and why understanding it (even a little bit) is absolutely essential if we are to really move into an ability to understand other people and start to solve problems on a broader scale. We have to be able (and willing) to think about other people in terms of the things that are a part of their story that might not be a part of ours. And we have to be willing to admit that we are not as good as we seem, and that others are not as bad.

Another part of context is the realization that the Earth is not populated by over 6 billion Jason Parks' (if it makes you feel better, you can insert your own name there instead. If that doesn't make you feel better, then you probably have some real problems- or you really really like me).

The human experience for me is completely different from that of every other person in the history of ever. I have to come to terms with the fact that not everyone grew up White, male, and Protestant- that some people are left handed, that there are people who grew up without siblings and even without parents. Not all of humanity did well in school. However many billions of people there are, that's how many unique combinations of biology, sociology, psychology, family, education, etc. that there are. So when I try to relate to another human being, I have to do so from a position that acknowledges that my own experiences can be (and often are) not going to help me understand this person- rather, they very well may hinder the process.

In my social work classes, Professor Simpson often talked to us about our clients being the experts of their lives, and this being one of the ideas that separated social work from other professions. It is this idea that I humbly submit to you. If you want to really get to know someone, or understand them, or even help them, you must first be willing to allow them to guide you. Because they are going to have parts of them that are completely foreign to you- even if the "Tale of the Tape" says you are the same.

A story that Slattery uses at the end of her first chapter (page 9) that really drives home this whole idea is the story about the three blind men who stumbled upon an elephant. The gist of the story is that each man fondles a different part of the elephant and comes away with a completely different idea about what the elephant really is. One man finds the leg- thinks it's a huge tree. Second man finds the ear, and determines it to be a palm tree. Third man finds the tail, and says it's a rope. Obviously they were all wrong- but even if they had called out the appropriate anatomy (leg, ear, tail), they would have still been wrong! All of the individual parts fit together to create a whole.

So if you take nothing else away from this, remember that every person you are interacting with is really a mish-mashed composite of intersecting components- and respond accordingly.

Tune in next....oh heck...I don't know...time? Yeah, time. Time works. Tune in next time as I dig deeper into the notion of context.

I got hit on by a missionary...and I liked it

This one actually comes from the vault- a blog that I fully intended to write, many months ago, that just kept getting pushed to the side for other, more lucrative ones (that, and I'm pretty lazy). But as our friends at Disney have proved time and time again, it is totally okay to brag about a secret "vault" and drag really old stuff out of it, and then pretend it's like this really big deal and charge people lots of money for it.

Anyways, this blog dates back to when I was working in one of the group homes, which is headed up by a couple that is LDS. For those of you who don't know, LDS is acronym for Latter Day Saint, or Mormon, as they are more often called.

One of the greatest things that I have taken away from the social work program at NMU is that I have a much greater appreciation for the diversity of humanity. I'm able to talk to people of different religions, political persuasions, and affectional orientations without automatically putting up the defense wall that usually went up before. I'm much more in tune with what we have in common than what separates us.

So the family would have local missionaries come over to their home for meals. I never asked, but I assume that this is sort of the way it works- the church body working together to provide some basic meals/socialization/ministry opportunities for their missionaries. It was pretty cool- they usually came over and kicked it with us on Friday nights, and then we'd see them Saturday mornings playing basketball at the church.

It was a pretty interesting experience, overall- getting to interact with these missionaries in a normal-type setting (as normal as a group home can get, I'd wager). Of course, they were always dressed up- but they never really "came on" to us as far as "religion" goes- they'd answer questions, but for the most part they were very chill.

Now, as I type this, I'm very aware of potential reactions that might be starting to rise to the surface. I believe this is so because I used to be in this manner. Religion is such a touchy subject. It's tough to approach in a manner that is mutually respectful- because people are so convinced of the truth and reality of their own beliefs, they can't see past those beliefs in their assessment of other human beings.

It's a lot like our taste receptors on our tongues. Our bodies respond to the tastes of certain foods- sometimes apathetically, sometimes passionately. And when someone does not share the same taste as we do- we can't handle it. We can't process it. Our minds are unable to wrap around the thought that this very concoction that is so so pleasing to our taste buds can be greeted with apathy or disgust by another person.

I feel that we respond to our beliefs in the same way- not just religion...I'm talking politics, child-rearing, sports teams- the things we hold to tightly, we are sometimes faultily loyal to. Michigan/Michigan State play this weekend. If you're a "football" fan, you're going to watch and view this game much differently than a U-M fan will- even though you're watching the same game. Your ability to be objective has been compromised by your emotional attachment and investment.

So I am very aware that my writing about a topic concerning religions, specifically my interaction with another religion, is potentially a hot-button issue. However, I think that there is a deep truth in what I am trying to convey that compels me to move past that.

So here is the story. If you are at all familiar with my ability to tell stories, you know that this is not going to be a story in the usual sense of the word; rather, there will be some words formulated into sentences, which hopefully come together to arrive at some sort of a conclusion.

One Saturday, a lunch was being prepared. The wife in the group home dyad was being assisted by one of the missionaries, and I was sort of hanging out between the kitchen and dining room. Somehow we started talking about God- I probably asked them some question about being a missionary or something. I really should have wrote this down- Disney doesn't have to remake 'Beauty and the Beast' because they just keep it in their vault. Obviously I suck at vaulting.

So the wife (we'll call her "Sandy") asks me about the possibility of Sara and I having missionaries over to our house. In the spiritual realm, this is akin to being a married man at a bar who gets hit on by the hot blond at the end of the table.

Hence the title of my blog.

It was a very surreal moment for me. I didn't faint, but that doesn't mean that my head wasn't spinning- and swimming- and all sorts of other things that heads do. I mean, this was a pretty violent intersection between the belief system that I had known and the belief system that I was coming in to. This sort of conflict between the idea of having these people come over and listening to what they had to say out of respect for their humanity and their beliefs versus the idea that they are deceived sinners heading to hell and my obligation to speak the "truth" to them.

One thing that I really got an appreciation for during my time in this home was the humanity of the LDS missionaries. Yes, they are always way overdressed. They couldn't watch movies. There were all sorts of things that they could and couldn't do. In a way, I thought it was very silly- such a futile exercise in "religious" activity. In another way, I admired their tenacity- their willingness to sacrifice parts of themselves, and their identity, for the good of others- and whether you believe that LDS (or any religion) is right or wrong, the fact is that they did this thing, and gave up all sorts of comforts and luxuries that I would legitimately have a difficult time giving up.

We never did invite any of the missionaries over, for a few reasons. Chief among them was that we were busy- it seems like we're always so busy, but this happened in the last semester of my undergrad career, so we were balls to the wall. The other reason is that I didn't want to "lead them on". That is, I love the idea of listening to other people's beliefs and thoughts on things- but not in that context. It's way different than having a casual conversation about religion.

The End (What, I told you I was a crappy story teller)

Well, I promised a deep truth, and while its tone has ran through this post, it has also been treading just beneath the surface. So I'll reach into the water and grab it before it slithers away, and then bring it up to the sunlight, its scales glistening in the sunlight. I learned this from a very wise woman, and have spent the past couple years imperfectly walking it out. The key (in my opinion) to any human interaction is to be humble enough to know you can learn something from somebody else, even if they are different from you in every way. You can't approach someone of a different religion/political stance/third thing in an arrogant fashion, or you will quickly lose the respect of your audience.

There is something to be said for being able to listen to another person's story, to their thoughts and their worldview- to have human interactions without an agenda, but just sharing a part of yourself with someone else, and them sharing a part of themselves with you- and maybe both of you go your separate ways and reject those parts. That's fine. But it's way better to get hit on by a missionary and go your separate ways than it is to kick that missionary in the balls and then have to run away from the cops (obviously I'm speaking metaphorically).

All Jack-ed up

This time I will detail some of the exploits of Jack Bauer in episode 3 of season 1. It's been a while, because Netflix was crazy fast in delivering discs of Dexter, season 3 to us- and then we also found 30 Rock, which is an amazing comedy, in the same league as The Office (which, if you know how I feel about The Office, is high praise). But we did watch the third episode, and Jack is beginning to build on his B.A. actions of the first two episodes.

It's possible that at this point, you think that I am engaging in an exercise that is, at best, fruitless. 'Is he really going to go through every episode and talk about this crap?'- and that's a fair point. Part of this blog is born from the fact that I suddenly have much more time on my hands than I did before, and while I have altruistic ambitions about how I'm going to use that time, the reality is that I am the guy that Kurt Cobain was singing about when he uttered those immortal grunts- "Here we are now, entertain us". I love to do stuff that is ultimately pointless in the grand scheme of things.

But I suppose we could give this blog idea of mine a little credibility by tying in some sort of greater meaning (and really, we all assign meaning to the actions of our lives)- and how we so often take things at face value, or we trust the things the people say just because of who they are, without checking them out for ourselves. We've been told all our lives that Jack Bauer is the baddest mo' fo' to walk the face of the earth- that Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas and that Chuck Norris checks his closet at night for Jack Bauer- without really taking his legend to task. That's what I'm all about. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm suggesting myself to a day in the life of Jack Bauer, one hour at a time- because we're tired of being lied to by those who are in a position to do so. Oh, hey kids, I can't play with you right now, sorry. Why not? Why, I'm working on homework, that's why.

Before I get started, I do think it needs to be mentioned that in this episode, a random dude smashes the back window out of Senator Palmer's SUV with a baseball bat. I'll bet Senator Palmer was really glad he is in good hands with All-state.

Like I said, this is all about the process. Jack isn't completely B.A. at this point- but he's not PeeWee Herman either. He has a reputation to live up to, and he is slowly starting to grow into it. It's as if we are witnessing the Bar Mitzvah of Jack, except instead of growing into a man, Jack is growing into a bad-ass. Let's get started.

Early on, Jack takes that thumb that he had chopped off for the purposes of identifying one of the bad guys, and applies the thumb print to the digital scanner that his vehicle has. He's still slightly squeamish- a disgusted look on his face, maybe a little perspiration- but the fact that he doesn't have someone else do it speaks to his level of commitment. Never mind that level of commitment doesn't apply to other areas of his life- like his family. He's a singularly minded in his approach to business, and that will serve him well on his vision quest.

Later in the show, he's talking on the phone to the dad of his daughter's friend, who is hanging out with his wife at a furniture store at 2 in the morning. The dad wants to leave- it's late, he's tired, and he totally realizes that if he stays there too much longer, he's going to end up buying that 5-piece granite tabletop set with a solid hardwood base. Either that, or he realizes that he and his daughter are small-time in this big operation, and he wants to get while the getting's good (of course, what he doesn't realize is that he's on a collision course with a relationship with the soon-to-be ex of Jack Bauer).

So he's hemming and hawing, and Jack basically shuts him down. He yells at him and tells him to stick around and wait for the girls. The guy, being a weakling, obeys, and Jack hangs up the phone. If Jack were leveling up on this B.A. ladder, this would have gained him a couple XPs- not much, but hey, it's progress.

When Jack finally arrives back at the office, Jack does one of the coolest things I have ever seen another human being do- he takes off his shirt in the middle of his office! Now, it seems that he has a locker in his office (which is very cool), but the fact that Jack feels comfortable enough to just take his shirt off in the middle of a government building- I think when this is all said and done, it won't be necessarily one of the awesomet things that Jack does, but it will be the moment where Jack shows us the bad-ass that is sleeping just beneath the surface. And right now, I would wager that bad-ass is laying down underneath that vintage 1990's barbed wire tat around Jack's right bicep.

End of the episode- Jack tells Nina that she's a traitor, throws her into a chair, and then yells in her face. Personally, I feel like it's a little early to play that card- but that's probably why Jack Bauer is the two highest cards in Euchre and Jason Parks is, at best, one of the 5's that you use to keep score. It is an irrational action with a sexual undertone- how much more bad-ass can you get?

Well, the answer to that question will hopefully be answered resoundingly in the next few episodes. Right now, Jack is more flash than substance- Derrick Coleman to Chuck Norris' Michael Jordan- but the good news is that there is an assassination attempt that will be taking place on Senator Palmer- which gives him plenty of time to do stuff that most of us will only have man-dreams about.

B.A. Actions- Episode 3- 3.5
B.A. Actions to date- 7.5

The socialism of intelligence

A line has been crossed- a straw has broken a camel's back- someone has talked about Fight Club. Something must be done. And so action will be taken.

You may be wondering what on Earth I am talking about. And that's a fair question to ask. And in no way am I trying to stretch this part out as I frantically search for an answer to appease your curiosity. That is so far beneath me, it's not even funny. I'm a college graduate, for crying out loud- a social worker nonetheless...are you still here? You are? Hrmm...well, I guess I could get to the point.

A while back, in one of my epic blog posts, I wrote about how just because I was graduating college, I wasn't done learning. You might remember it because I'm a pretty memorable person. And if you forgot, that's fine- I hyperlinked so you can read it again and remember how inspired you were to become a better, smarter person.

Well, it's been 6 months...and I think it's time. I had a legitimate excuse before- I was working over 40 hours a week at a job that left me an emotional and intellectual zombie. I had no energy, desire, or passion for learning- I just wanted to make it through the days...weeks...months. I am no longer at that job. The job I have now is like the anti-job of that job.

Now that I'm starting to feel that my sense of self has been restored, it's time to take it to new and uncharted territories. And as much fun as it is to be a quarterback, or an assassin, or Batman...it's also something that needs a little moderation. It's time to spend a little less time on the PS3 (not too much...come on now- it's a PS3! People kill for these things!) and a little more time getting smarter.

I made a commitment, not only to myself- but to my social work cohort and to my family, and to all those people who have believed in me and sacrificed to help me to get to where I am- and that commitment was to continue to learn as much as I could about my trade, and to constantly be moving forward as a human being.

And just what is my trade? The easy answer would be to say 'social work'...but I'm not all about easy. Well, that's not entirely true- I'm actually a unique composition of hard work and easy street. I suspect that most of us are.

As I wrote about in this other awesome blog post that you might actually remember (or at least alluded to), I am not sure I want to do social work for a living. This does not mean, however, that I don't want to be a social worker, or that I just wasted thousands of dollars and years of my life. My experience with the idea of social work is that it is the profession of being a compassionate human being- and that is what I want to be, all the time, regardless of my profession. It is that end that I intend to turn my pursuits towards.

Maybe I am just in denial...or withdrawal...or some type of 'al'. In the big scheme of things, there is much that I don't know- there are so many questions, things to ponder- and a wife and children to keep in mind. Right now I have the luxury of not having to necessarily make a decision. And hopefully I can learn more about myself (and my place within the context of humanity) in that time period. Maybe at that time, my life path will be lit up like the Griswold home on Christmas.

Meanwhile...I plan to start re-reading one of my college textbooks to kick start my learning siesta. It's called Counseling Diverse Clients, by Jeanne M. Slattery. This book has been a life changer, to say the least. I can't say it's brought me tons of new information per se...but it has brought into order many loose thoughts and ideas that I had, and has given me a firm foundation in the realm of context. I've talked about context before, and I will be sharing more on it in the coming indefinite time period.

My idea is to share with you, for free, the ideas and thoughts that were shared with me in an institution of higher learning. It might be a little socialistic...but then again, I am a socialismopath. If I even create a ripple, then the whole lake will be affected. And if I don't create a ripple? Then maybe the hot air that I'm spewing will set fire to the butterfly before it flaps its wings.

Just how B.A. is Jack Bauer?

While between discs of Dexter: Season 3, my wife and I have taken to watching shows on Netflix Instant.

Netflix Instant is like "the guy" in prison. You know "the guy"? You want something, you ask "the guy", and "the guy" gets you what you want. It's amazing. I suppose there are some potential ramifications to think about...like when I'm in my 70's thinking back to why I spent so much time watching shows on the television. But then I'll remember Liam Neeson in Taken, and how he showed me the best way to show your daughter how much you love her is to let her get kidnapped while she's in a foreign country and then go over there and seriously kick ass. And then I'll forget where I am.

Anyways, the show that we have taken up curretnly is 24. I've watched bits and pieces of the first few seasons- but never a whole season. Until now- thanks to the miracle of instantaneous C-note, we have access to a whole new world of television seasons, movies, and more Barney than you could shake a stick at. And so here we are- just me, Sara, and Jack Bauer.

At this point in 24 legend, Jack Bauer might as well be the Lord's avenging angel. Jack Bauer is the standard by which all bad asses are measured against. He's so cool that the most bad ass cards in the game of Euchre are named after him.

But that's not how the first season starts. In fact, I had to double check- is this the Jack Bauer of mythology? Or is this his evil twin Slack Bauer?

We first find our hero playing Suzie Homemaker. Then we find out that he's a snitch. Later, he looks squeamish as he's about to cut off a dead man's thumb (granted, he's about to cut off that dead man's thumb to score a fingerprint...but still- squeamish). So why do we revere this man so much?

Well, I'm not one to waste an opportunity to engage in some qualitative research- after all, I am a college graduate! So I'm going to take advantage of my observation skills, critical thinking, and the luxury afforded to me by my good friends at Netflix to systematically go through, episode by episode, and objectively determine why Jack Bauer is the Bad Ass of bad asses.

Having a rather extensive background in behavioral observation and description, I'm going to go through and look at what he does. I mean, obviously we can look at the Jack Bauer face, and listen to the Jack Bauer voice...and those are very B.A. traits, for sure. But from between the hours of 12 and 2 am (first two episodes of season 1) that face might as well have been a big purple dinosaur face.

So what has Jack Bauer done? Over the next indefinite period of time (because if there is one thing that I've realized about myself, it's that I suck at things you like to call "deadlines" or "due dates"), I will be bringing you an episode-by-episode list of the B.A. deeds committed by Jack Bauer. We can then determine scientifically at which point Jack Bauer goes from poser to legit.

So far in the first couple episodes, I have determined that Jack has engaged in four acts of bad ass-ness.

In episode 1, Jack spends a large part of time looking more like Jack Black than Jack Bauer. However, he does manage to use a tranq gun to knock out some dude- then he blackmailed him. That's pretty B.A.- even if he pretty much went right into pathetic, helpless-guy mode for the rest of the episode.

Episode 2 sees the B.A.ometer start to rise like mercury on a hot day. He cuts off someone's thumb because he needs to identify the man (the guy is dead, and Jack seems squeamish...but still...he cuts his thumb off). That's pretty B.A., right? However, after one of his fellow good-guy agents is killed, he gets pissed and runs a red light. He doesn't just run a red light- he gives a blatant middle finger to the whole stop light system. I mean, we're talking accelerating through it while not even bothering to check his peripherals!

And then, as if that wasn't B.A. enough, Jack proceeds to break the speed limit while driving down the freeway! At least, I assume he is breaking the speed limit because he's driving way faster than everyone else. See, that's the thing about Jack Bauer at this point. I imagine that in later shows, you'll just assume that Jack is blowing red lights and speeding at all times because of how B.A. he is. Right now though? He hasn't quite earned that level of respect yet. At this point, it's possible that a bunch of old people are out for leisurely cruises in the wee-hours of the morning.

All in all, I'm looking forward to seeing the evolution of Jack Bauer: Mr. Mom into Jack Bauer: Mr. Ass. Until next time, via con Dios and stay thirsty my friends!

Expendables (possibly some spoilers, more than likely just spoiled)

So last Friday, I went to see 'The Expendables' with my buddy Bryan. It was the last night before his wedding, so we figured we'd go see a man movie.

Well, Expendables is a man movie....a man movie on steroids. And HGH. And receiving testosterone supplements. And starring every action movie star from the 1980's. It was like, hey 1985 called- they want to make a movie.

This action-packed gore fest starts early-Dolph Lundgren fires a rocket launcer at a guy and blows him in half (and yes, they show it) while 'The Expendables' (apparently some sort of rogue task force of bad-asses)are attempting to rescue some people from sea pirates. The blood spilling does not dial down- rather, they crank it up to 11.

Indeed, there is definitely a step forward in the amount and type of violence in movies nowadays- I noticed it in 'The Watchmen' and 'Book of Eli'...movie violence is at a whole new level. Before, violence was fed to us through the genius of editing. The would show us what was going to happen, and then they would flash to another scene with what they wanted us to believe had happened. Now though? Decapitations, biting, explosions, shark attacks- you name it, it's happening in the same scene, no editing tricks. Pretty CG, but getting better.

Little bit of a tangent...bringing it back now.

Where was I? Oh yeah- an 80's movie in 2010. Not a good combo. You realize that the 80's movies were just ridiculous. Plots were terrible, writing was bad, action was over the top- obviously I wasn't in my early 30's back then, so I don't know if grown-ups thought those movies were ultra cool. I hope not- because if that generation of 30-somethings had that bad of taste, and passed that bad taste on to my generation- then we as a society are perpetuating a cycle of bad taste that could threaten all legitimate art and culture as we know it.

Now let me clarify- I had a great time, and as far as a man movie goes- it was a man movie. There was action and swearing (Bruce Willis dropped 4 F-bombs, which is twice the amount he was probably paid for) and a knife throwing competition and cheesy one-liners and tattoos- the only thing missing was sex.

But if you're looking for a movie with any substance- then you might say this this movie is...expendable (I don't know if that was a good joke, but I had to use it at some point, and I'm panicking because I don't know if another opportunity will present itself). The story is virtually non-existant, the dialogue is terrible, and the heroes are way too cool for school.

At one juncture, Jason Stathams character takes his ex-girlfriend on a motorcycle ride and drives by the guy she left Statham for (who happened to have just given her a black eye), who is playing basketball with some buds. Statham proceeds to kick the asses of all 6 dudes, and then whips out a switchblade and stabs the basketball while it lays prone on Mr. Abusers chest...then makes a remark about how she should have stayed with Statham. Oh yeah, sure- I just got out of one abusive relationship, and I'm supposed to feel better about our former relationship? YOU JUST KICKED THE ASS OF THE GUY THAT BEAT ME- AND LIKE 5 OF HIS BUDDIES- AND ALSO, YOU CARRY A SWITCHBLADE??? Yeah, no anger issues there pal. There is no way that the 80's were this ridiculous...were they?


But the best part was at the end, after the team of like 5 dudes takes out the army of bad guys- and Stone Cold- and the main villain, and after they blew up the palace (jeez guys...you're only getting paid $5 millions dollars for this mission, you might want to scale back on the amount of C-4 you're using, that stuff ain't cheap)- the daughter of the (deceased) general says to Sly Stallone as he is about to fly off into the sunset "Thank you for helping us".

Yeah. Thanks for helping us. Our little island country now has no military. We have no government infrastructure. The palace is destroyed. Our cash crop is an unnamed drug that attracted the bad dudes in the first place. So basically you "saved" our country by destroying everything that we need to make it not collapse in on itself. But thank you for what you've done! And now you get to go back to America and cash in on your millions and sit around and drink alcohol and throw knives in a tattoo parlor while our people end up living in caves and solving disputes like on Lord of the Flies.

Folks- forget about 2012- if the 1980's are allowed to continue to make a comeback, the world may end well before then. It's up to us, the informed, to take a stand. The 1980's died once. Let's keep it that way.

Eulogy

Most of you probably don't know this, because you were too busy living your lives...there was a terrible tragedy in the NFL this past Sunday. I have it on good authority that Ryan Grant of the Green Bay Packers was killed during his game with the Philadelphia Eagles. On a seemingly innocent run up the middle, Grant was tackled and instantly disintegrated at the exact second that he spontaneously combusted which also happened during an attack by Alien snipers on him as he swallowed a cyanide capsule while he was being struck by lightning. Also, he was suffering from Ebola and whatever that disease on 'Outbreak' was. The end.

Wait, what's that? My source was wrong? He only suffered a season ending ankle injury? So he's not dead?

"Bring out yer dead"

I'm not dead- look, I'm limping, I'm just limping! It's the North Michigan Snow Flurries that are dead!

Well don't tell my fantasy team that- because as far as they are concerned, Grant is in the after-life. Not heaven, nor hell...not even purgatory. No, something far, far more sinister in the realm of fantasy football: Injured Reserve.

When I saw that red IR next to his name on the 'My Team' tab, I knew that the North Michigan Snow Flurries were going to be devastated, and so I had to think fast. I couldn't just tell them that he suffered an injury- after all, my team psyche is fragile right now. Last season, we suffered from a serious case of snake bite. My team believes that they are cursed. We lost three running backs (two of which are on my team this year) and two tight ends to season-ending injury last year- the last thing I need to tell them is that our top draft pick couldn't even make it through the first half of the first game.

Team morale is at an all-time low, so I couldn't just walk in to our Monday morning meeting and tell them what really happened- so I came up with a story. The truth won't really matter to them- whether Grant is dead or on injured reserve, the outcome is still the same- my Three Amigos (as I am going to start calling my running backs in order to lift their spirits) will have to split time in the backfield, and I'm counting on my wide receivers to pick up some slack as well. Sometimes you have to slant the truth slightly for the greater good. You may vilify me now, but I believe that history will redeem me. Of course, it's possible that history will vilify me.

I think it's too early to write off the season- I mean, I only lost by 27 on opening night, and if I would have made different roster moves, I could have lost by much less. I recall that last seasons Snow Flurries opened 0-2 before rallying to finish 6-7 with a glorious flame-out in the first round of the playoffs. There is still a lot of football to be played! (or, in the case of Ryan Grant, a lot of Mai Tai's to be sipped while sitting by the side of a pool doing "rehab")

So we play on. We brave (and purposely mislead) few play on, in memory of our fallen comrade. The Snow Flurries are dead- long live the Snow Flurries!

It turns out your fantasy season is only MOSTLY dead. With mostly dead- it's slightly alive. With all dead...well, there's only one thing you can do with all dead- make a bunch of lopsided trades to your closest friends.

It's all part of my football fantasy

The most wonderful time of the year. For some, it's Christmas. Others enjoy a return to school. A third group beams at the prospect of some other thing. But for the average American male, there is that special heart place reserved for The Sport That I Used To Call 'Football' But Now Cannot Because I Started Watching REAL Football And I Cannot Live With Two Footballs. I'm not sure what to call it now- Throwball? Run/tackleball? Kick/throw/runball? I don't know. Complexball? As the season progress, I hope to have answers.

As the real season starts, the REAL real season starts- Fantasy season. That's right. All of those games that we watch on TV serve merely to feed our obsession, our need that is Fantasy sports. So many of us will never ever sniff glory in any area of our lives- but Fantasy sports gives us a chance to succeed, to out-do our competitors, and we get to do this through millionaire youngsters who play sports for a living. I suppose objectively it's a sick, sick fantasy realm. And I LOVE IT.

We did our draft today. And like any good blogger worth his weight in hot air, I'm going to bring you a detailed synopsis of that draft. Luckily, you don't have anything that is much more exciting than this. And if you do...you'll be back. My blog is like a drug. Or a train wreck. Maybe it's like a drug train wreck, and the combination of it being a train wreck and all the narcotics and hallucinogens in the air serve to grab your attention and get you hooked for life. Maybe I just need more rest.

First of all, this is a list of the players I drafted last year, and a brief note on why they will/won't be a Snow Flurry in 2010. One thing that really popped out at me is that I'm fiercely loyal. If you succeed for me, I will go to the ends of the Earth (or at least, the later rounds of a fantasy draft) for you. If you let me down- you are dead to me (unless you come at a significant bargain).

Keepers:
Donovan McNabb- if he hadn't been traded to the Redskins, I would have kept him. As it is, I couldn't justify keeping a QB in his 30's starting over with a new team that isn't all that.
Michael Turner- Full time feature backs don't just grow on trees, so I definitely kept this guy.
1- Randy Moss, WR- Picked first in our draft, never had a shot at him.
2- Laurence Maroney, RB- Let me down last year. No way.
3- Ryan Grant, RB- Redraft.
4- Ted Ginn Jr., WR- Sorry man- his name might as well not even been on the list.
5- Ben Roethlisberger, QB- This is why video games are so much better than real life. In a video game, if I had Donovan McNabb and Ben Roethlisberger at QB, I would be all set for like 15 years. Unfortunately, in real life McNabb gets traded and Big Ben decides that bumping uglies is his off-season hobby. As a result, he is suspended for the first 4 games of the season- which is like a third of the fantasy season. Plus...the Snow Flurries are a class act. We don't mess around with bad character guys.
6- Terrell Owens, WR- I like taking risks...but not this much. Sorry T.O.
7- Chad Ochocinco, WR- I really thought about picking him- in the end, I took some risks on some young guys and just couldn't find a spot in the draft where I felt like I couldn't get better value than #85. I'm probably not as loyal as I like to think.
8- Ronnie Brown, RB- I picked Brown because I'm more loyal than I give myself credit for.
9- Colts D- Didn't even come on the radar.
10- Titans D- Didn't even come on the radar of things that don't come on the radar.
11- Owen Daniels, TE- Owen got picked before I could snag him- I definitely thought about it though. Of course, I couldn't justify spending a pick on a TE with an injury history.
12- Kerry Collins, QB- Now that our league is back to 1 QB starting, there is no reason to search for back-ups like Kerry.
13- Chris Cooley, TE- Chris, thanks for the memories. But not this year.
14- Michael Crabtree, WR- Hey, he's a young kid- why not give him a second chance?
15- Adam Vinateri, K- Is he even playing this year?
16- Michael Jenkins, WR- Nope.
17- Justin Fargas, RB- Nope.

So now that I've thoroughly confused you, and possibly bored you...let's get onto the main event- my 2010 draft!!!
(Note- each tidbit of info on my 2010 draft class comes with their 2009 stats, which like any good, self-respecting fantasy owner would not do, weren't looked up until after my draft).
Keepers-
RB Michael Turner- 871 yards rushing, 10 TD
He got hurt last season, but there aren't many teams nowadays that have a bell-cow back- and Turner is one of those guys. Plus, all of the other bell-cow guys were already on rosters as keepers.
QB Tony Romo-4,483 yards passing, 26 TD passes
The Lord giveth- after the season, every team got a chance to pick their two keepers, and all other players went into the pool. I decided to keep only Turner (dropping Austin, Calvin Johnson, McNabb, and Big Ben, among others). I decided against keeping McNabb and Big Ben for reasons outlined above. I forgot that I had Calvin Johnson (which isn't the worst thing, actually). And I'm honestly not 100% convinced that Austin wasn't a flash in the pan. I hope I'm wrong...but if I'm not then at least I got the QB that will help keep him there- and in this sport, it's better to have a great QB than a great WR.

1- RB Ryan Grant- 1,253 yards rushing, 11 TD, 197 yards receiving, 0 TD
Green Bay looks like they might have the best offense in the history of ever. Maybe not that good...but they'll be explosive. Why not get the guy that figures to carry the bulk of their rushing load?
2- WR Steve Smith (NYG)- 1,220 yards receiving, 7 TD
Even though Smith was much better the 1st half of last season, I honestly believe that a full season of him and a healthy Eli will lead to an excellent season. It better- I can't really afford to whiff with my #2 pick for 2 years in a row.
3- TE JerMichael Finley- 676 yards receiving, 5 TD
This guy was banged up at times last year. When he was healthy? He was unstoppable. I'm really excited about what this Finley is going to bring to the Snow Flurries this year.
4- WR Michael Crabtree- 625 yards receiving, 2 TD
I think that this guy is going to be a stud. He's not the rookie hold-out anymore.
5- WR Dwayne Bowe- 589 yards receiving, 4 TD
Best moment of the draft for me was when I drafted Bowe literally 1 pick before Josh (Team Bullies owner) did...and completely shook him. They say that doesn't happen. So even if it was just for one pick, one moment in time on a chilly September afternoon- I was the best drafter in the room. Of course, if Bowe comes out and lays a goose-egg...then I will come back and edit this post.
6- RB Ronnie Brown- 648 yards rushing, 8 TD, 1 passing TD
Possibly a reach...maybe too high to draft a running back that has an injury history (including last year). But he doesn't have to be a starter for me- and I feel like as a back-up RB he has huge upside, because he is a proven commodity with a lot of talent.
7- Ravens Defense- Do they still have Ed Reed? If so, then they'll be awesome in the fantasy format.
8- WR Mohammed Massaquoi- 624 yards receiving, 3 TD
Really this is the first pick of my newly formed drafting philosophy. I could have taken a 3rd guy from the Saints, or the Colts...and had the occasional huge outing sprinkled in a sea of so-so ones. OR...I could take the absolute best from a crappy team. Sort of like with Brown (but minus the proven commodity part), I took a risk here that should be nothing but pay-off. I have my starting WRs, so anything this guy gives me is gravy.
9- QB Chad Henne- 2,878 yards passing, 12 TD passes
I think Henne is going to be an at-worst solid, at-best very good QB. The good news for me is that with Romo, I'm not going to need Henne to be the second coming of Dan Marino...I just need him to not be the second coming of Ryan Leaf.
10-RB Darren McFadden- 357 yards rushing, 1 TD, 245 yards receiving
Seriously, this is going to be an ongoing theme here- I feel very very confident in the ability of my starters, so I felt like I could take some flyers on guys that could potentially have some serious impact...or at the very least, put up acceptable stats for bad teams. McFadden is that guy.
11-TE Dustin Keller- 522 yards receiving, 2 TD
I am pretty sure that this guy had a great playoff run with the Jets...which is why I drafted him. Of course, it's possible that it was a different guy that had a great playoffs with the Jets, and this was just the guy that had his name on the draft list. Whatever- I drafted him.
12-Bears Defense- Hey, 2 games against the Lions should make this defense worth it, right?
13-WR TJ Houshimanzada 911 yards receiving, 3 TD
(I don't think I'm spelling that right. At all.)- I knew he was going to get traded or cut when I drafted him- which he did end up getting cut. I feel like this pick is extremely low-risk/high reward though, which is exactly the same situation as the real life team that picks him up is in. In real life, a team can sign him for about $850,000 (with the Seahawks pitching in the rest of his $5 or $6 million salary)- which is a steal for a guy who has played at a Pro-Bowl level very recently. Meanwhile, a 13th round pick for a back-up WR is not much to spend on a guy that could end up starting and being a #2 receiver (which might be a little hopeful...but even if he doesn't get there, he's still just a 13th round pick!).
14-K Lawrence Tynes- 27/32 FG, 45/45 XP
I just had to make sure that his name wasn't Nick Folk, and that he was in no way, shape, or form associated with or existed in a former life as Nick Folk.
15-WR Donnie Avery- On our list of 80+ WRs, he was the only guy from St. Louis- which to me means that he's going to be the guy for a crappy team. Just perfect for my drafting philosophy.
16-RB Jason Snelling- 613 yards rushing, 4 TD, 259 yards receiving, 1 TD
A bit of a safe pick, Snelling is the back-up to Turner...so I figured I'd protect my investment a little bit.

All in all, I don't think that I have a championship team on paper...but I think that on paper, I have a playoff team. And if my risky picks pay off? Then I could probably be a devastating force. It should be fun- It will be stressful- and perhaps most importantly of all, it is a wonderful time of the year.

Stay at home dad

First of all- news. I have some news. I'd say exciting, but it might not be exciting to everyone. I mean, it's not like a pregnancy thing, or a lotto winning kind of thing. It's more of a 'I got a new job' type of news update. And the update is- I got a new job! Whew- that really was exciting, wasn't it? How I kept you on the edge of your seat, begging and pining for more?

I'm going to be heading up an after school program at a local Christian school. I'm excited about this opportunity for a few reasons- it's part time, works wonderfully with Sara's schedule, gives me weekends/holidays off...I think it's going to be a good opportunity for me individually and the Parks family corporately.

Now that I have the news out of the way, I can get down to the nitty gritty- blog post. I am writing a blog post! And guess what? You're reading it!

Tomorrow starts a new season of life for me (again)- the Stay-at-home dad season. I've done this before- but not for this long- a few months while Sara worked at Target. This time? Sara has at least 2 more years of school...and I have-0. That's right, I graduated college. Woot woot! So now there is no good built in excuse for me to not be a Stay-at-home dad. Not that I want an excuse- I love my children, and we've been adamant about (and fortunate to be able to) not having to rely on daycare for significant chunks of time. Some people need to- and that's fine. For them. We want to raise our children. We want to spend as much time with them as we can, especially in these very tender and formative years. I don't want to wonder where the heck my kid learned that- I want to be able to teach them. More on this later.

It's weird to think about having a college degree and not working in my field- in a 'job'. After all, that's what's expected, isn't it- to get out there and bring home the bacon? I get my education, get my job, get my bread, and come home and watch football while my wife stays at home with our 2.5 children and makes dinner and does the dishes and cleans the house?

But then, these silly gender roles are actually very powerful, because they become so ingrained in us that we slide into auto-pilot mode and just assume that they are true, because they always have been. So it isn't any stretch to see why my thoughts are really a big deal.

Things are starting to change, of course. It is much more common nowadays for a woman to go to college and enter the professional world- whether or not she has a family/children. It is becoming more acceptable, and I'm totally fine with that. Why should men have a monopoly on the career life?

But what about the reverse? What about a man (a college degree no less) being a stay at home dad? Hmmmm...that's not as easy of a sell.

Sara and I were talking about this today, on the way home from dropping the kids off with the grandparents for the afternoon. This summer was crazy, busy, stressful- for so many reasons. But one of the things that was going on was that Sara was in an opera. And on Friday, I got to take the kids to it. It was, in a word, incredible. It was incredible because of everybody and their role in it, of course- but also, it was incredible to see what sorts of things my wife is capable of doing in her own 'field'.

I think that there might be people that think being a stay at home dad would be to waste my gifts, my potential, my God-given talents- but you know what? Maybe that would be the right thing to do. See I'm not the only one in this family with talent- watching my wife up on that stage, it was like I was gazing onto a living memento of what she is meant to be. I don't want to speak for her or put words in her mouth, but watching her do the theatre thing- well, it was special to say the least.

Besides- I'm not wasting my gifts. In fact, this spell could very well be what I need to continue hone my gifts. I'm starting to get my focus back- my thirst for knowledge is returning, and I'm writing again. My gifts are just fine- they aren't going anywhere.

Plus- and this is the biggy- I'll have more time to spend with my children- passing on the knowledge that I've gained to the next generation. Not that I think that I am this mysterious wise sage or anything like that- after all, I'm not this guy. But I like to think that I have some solid wisdom that I can pass on to my children. Besides- better me teaching my kids than this guy. Or that guy. Or even that guy.