The NORTH Michigan Snow Flurries All-Time Leaderboard (Yes. I did.)

Okay world.  It's time.  You can release the collective breath you were holding while you are sitting on the edge of your collective seat.  It's August, and that can only mean one thing. 

Fantasy Football is starting!

I know, I know, I wrote before how I was done writing about Fantasy Football.  But not only am I not done writing about Fantasy Football, I am going to write a separate post about how I am not done writing about Fantasy Football.  Yeah.  That's how 'not done' I am.

Today, I will complete my draft for the 2012 rendition of the Snow Flurries.  I will begin to analyze my draft in context of what I did last year and what I hope for this year (with, yup, you guessed it- yet another separate post), and prepare for the most agonizing 13 weeks of the year.

In an effort to really, REALLY amp up the excitement factor (or ridiculousness...they're so close as to be kissing, after all), I went through my past three seasons of games and figured out who scored how many points when...then I wrote all those down...and I am now honored to have the privilege of bringing to you, for the first time EVER in digital glory...the NORTH Michigan Snow Flurries All-Time Leaderboard.  Yes, folks, in case you ever wondered who my all-time leading scorer is or how many 20+ point games that Tom Brady had during his magic 2011 season...well, you don't have to wonder any more.  I figured it out for you.

You're welcome.

Besides, I didn't just do this for you.  I did it for me and my future Snow Flurries.  Because I understand the Big picture.  See, when an athlete gets drafted, they aren't just getting drafted to compete on the field for their (Year X) team.  They are competing against the legacy of your predecessors, the legend of the ghosts of sports lore.  They are competing against the expectations of the fans and the weight of all those memories.  The great ones are the ones who learn how to be themselves in the greater context of these franchises, bringing glory to themselves in pursuit of further glory for the storied franchise.  Confused?  You won't be...not after I bring the understanding. 

Think of a franchise like a big Sarlacc pit.

For some of you, this is easier to imagine than others.

The pit itself represents the franchise.  The people getting eaten are the things that bring the franchise glory- whether it be championships, wins, or what have you.  The spikes on the sides represent all of the players in the history of the franchise.  They're a part of the glorious lineage of the pit, er, franchise-, and I'm assuming that the franchise needs them- but they aren't doing as much to bring glory as those gross looking tentacle thingies...which are, of course, the superstars.  The Jeters, the Bradys, the Duncans- guys that use their skills to help drag unsuspecting victims to their 1,000-years-of-digestion death.  Also, I think I may have mixed up my metaphors.

For future Snow Flurries, our pit is sort of small and definitely hungry.  Coming into year four of our program, those lucky few will be battling the ghosts of an all-time 21-18 team that has never won a do-or-die playoff game.  Unfortunately an actual Sarlacc pit would probably be a more desirable destination.  Lucky for me, they don't get to chose.  Get drafted, get your bags packed, and get to Snow Flurries camp, punk!

Here are the top four in each category that I took the time to compile.  These lists actually go bigger, but I figure I should only reveal my awesomness in small doses to keep people from dying from second hand exposure.  You'll notice Tom Brady's 2011 all over the list.  He's the big, wriggling snake of our sarlacc pit of mediocrity.

Most Points, Game

1. 44, Tom Brady, 2011 vs. Knights
2. 39, (Tie) 
1. Denver D/ST, 2009 vs. War Machine
2. Bears D/ST, 2010 vs. El Diablo
3. 37, Ravens D/ST, 2011 vs. InUrWallet TaknEvr1s$$$$
4. 36, Dwayne Bowe, 2010 vs. Disco

Most Points, Season

1. 309, Tom Brady, 2011
2. 263, Ravens D/ST, 2011
3. 228, Ben Roethlisberger, 2009
4. 192, Donovan McNabb, 2009

Most Points, Career (Non-Defense)       

1. 309, Tom Brady, 2011
2. 306, Michael Turner, 2009-2010
3. 238, Ben Roethlisberger, 2009-2010
4. 192, Donovan McNabb, 2009

20+ point games, Season

1. 10, Tom Brady, 2011
2. 7, Ben Roethlisberger, 2009
3. 6, Ravens D/ST, 2011
4. 5, Dwayne Bowe, 2010

20+ point games, Career

1. 10, Tom Brady, 2011
2. 7, (Tie)
1. Ben Roethlisberger, 2009
2. Ravens D/ST, 2010-2011
3. 6, Michael Turner, 2009-2010
4. 5, Dwayne Bowe, 2010

And now you've tasted my brilliance.  Please excuse yourself to the restroom before spitting it into the sink.

PIC: http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb58378/starwars/images/2/25/Sarlacc-BTM-DB.jpg