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Monday, January 24, 2011

Conference Championship Weekend- or, the twilight of the 2010 NFL season as we know it

The NFL season is almost over...which means that we here at youshouldknowjasonparks.blogspot.com headquarters are scrambling around for other things to write about. In the mean time- there is still more football to be played, and thus more inane nonsense for me to write about! In case you missed my work on the Wild Card round or the Divisional round, I have hyperlinked it for your viewing pleasure. Please, please- I only live to serve.

Congrats to the Packers and Steelers. And congratulations to you reader, because you get to read what I was thinking about as I watched them enter into Super Bowl territory.

-Green Bay at Chicago
The Packers took it right down on their first possession with ridiculous ease- and yet they only scored one other offensive touchdown the whole game. I often wonder why teams that start super fast like that do not often seem to be able to sustain that. It reminds me of week 1- the season kickoff game between the Saints and the Vikings, and the rematch of last seasons NFC Championship game. The Saints looked like world beaters on their first possession, and marched it right down for a ridiculously easy touchdown. Then they spent the rest of the game having to scratch and claw for every yard. Do defenses really adjust that quickly? Or do the offenses just get super over-confident?

I may or may not have taken a break from the game late in the first half until the start of the second half, so I had no idea that Jay Cutler got hurt and I was really shocked when they brought Todd Collins in. And it was absolutely at the worst time possible. Brian Urlacher made that huge pick in the red zone and almost returned it for a touchdown, the Bears had this huge wave of momentum- and then Todd Collins trots out onto the field. I literally felt like the game was over at that point.

I have fond memories of Collins as a U-M QB, and I felt that he got the shaft in Buffalo after his one season as a starter- so believe me when I tell you that I derive no joy from what I am about to say. Todd Collins may have been the worst QB in the history of the world this season. His numbers from this season- including the postseason (10-31, 68 yards, 0 TD and 5 INT) are approaching Ryan Leaf-bad, but it was the fact that he played the position like they had found a random guy on the street and suited him up. At no point during his two series' did I feel like I was watching an NFL QB...or even a college QB...more like a really bad JV QB on a sad sack Class-D (sorry- Division 8) team. Todd- I really hope that retirement is kinder to you then your time in Chicago was.

Of course, thanks to the internet age we live in, the haters, conspiracy theorists, and "fans" were out in full riot mode over Cutler's mystery injury (which we found out today was a sprained MCL). Particularly scathing was the criticism (via Twitter) from his peers. Of course, his team rushed to his defense, but as Monday came to a close, Cutler-gate (I know, I know- take x conspiracy and add -gate on the end, how original) was not even close to being finished.

Now, I didn't want to say this during the season because I'm a true warrior and competitor..but it's possible that Jay Cutler sabotaged my Fantasy Football season. I'm just saying- when I played him, he sucked, but when I sat him out, he was amazing. I don't want to say that Cutler is a quitter- but he's a real big meany head and possibly a double agent.

Definite props to Tim Mashtay- punters don't get the recognition that they deserve, but Mashtay did a brilliant job of punting and kept the Bears offense pinned deep in their own territory. When your offense is struggling and you have to start drives inside your own 10 yard line- it can be a devastating combo.

Aside from not being a very big American Idol fan to being with- the presence of Steven Tyler is definitely not a compelling reason for me to watch the show...especially since his physical appearance and mannerisms in the promo ads remind me of a 15 year old girl. I know that Steven was a highly successful rocker dude, and he has always looked like a woman...but he's really taking it to the next level for American Idol.

Caleb Hanie played very well coming off the bench- even Troy Aikman agreed with me. Speaking of Troy Aikman- I'm not an especially big fan of the Joe Buck/Troy Aikman announcing team, and it makes me sad that Fox believes them to be their top guys. I personally prefer Jim Nantz and Phil Simms. Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth are good too, and Gus Johnson pretty much rocks whoever he is with. I just think Buck is too dry in his delivery, and Aikman is not dynamic enough to make this Summerall/Madden II combo work.

-New York at Pittsburgh
If the Steelers can play a whole game like they played that first half- then the Packers might want to stay home. That was one of the most dominating performances I've ever seen in football in a long time. It was 24-0 at one point, and really it wasn't even that close. Of course, the second half was a different story, which is why I had to sweat out the last few minutes of the game.

If I'm playing a backyard game of football, and I can choose from the entire pool of NFL players- I am picking Big Ben first. Hands down. He's like Houdini if Houdini was three times bigger and actually played football. Oh, and if he had a rocket launcher for an arm. I might pick Rashard Mendenhall second...what an amazing performance by that young man last night. I actually think MANdenhall would be a more appropriate rendering of his last name- what a beastly outing against a defense that doesn't get shredded like that (121 yards rushing and a TD, 32 yards receiving) very often.

Big ups to CMU Chippewa alum Antonio Brown, who for the second straight game made a clutch catch late in the game for the Steelers. And to think- before last week I didn't even know he had entered the NFL draft. Now- the Steelers would likely not be going to the Super Bowl without him. Funny thing, fate is.

Can the mainstream sports media just admit that they really don't know what to make about Rex Ryan's shenanigans? Last week, several columns basically said that Ryan was biting off more than he could chew by trash-talking Bill Belichick and the Patriots- and the Jets owned them (much to my chagrin). This past week, columnists were saying how Ryan is a 'master strategist' and was showing us all his brilliance by the way he uses press conferences to manipulate his opponents- and the Jets promptly came out and got pantsed. Look, I get it- there is this human need to rationalize events that don't seem to make sense- and really, Rex Ryan doesn't make sense. But don't try to dupe us- you don't know. We don't know. Nobody knows. And that's okay.

I mentioned earlier that I really like Nantz and Simms, but I definitely blame Nantz for that safety. It was a blatant case of Announcer Jinx. Fortunately it didn't come back to haunt the Steelers...otherwise I would have had to send Jim Nantz a mean letter.

As far as Super Bowl 45 goes (I'm sorry- I don't really remember the Roman numerals for the game, and really this is American football, not Roman football, so I think we should use American numbers)- if Pittsburgh can play a full game the way they played against the Ravens in the second half or the Jets in the first half- I can't see any team beating them. However, if any of the Ravens game first half or Jets game second half creeps in- then the Packers will be Titletown again. Personally, as impressed as I've been with the Steelers at times, the lack of consistency cannot be just wished away, and the Packers seem to have been more consistent. I predict a Packers win, although I think this game is going to go down to the wire and be one for the ages.

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